I spent the next few weeks working extra shifts and trying not to say too much to the customers while Fiona finished her finals. I hung out with Eddie and Jack whenever I could. Jack was down to go into the city with me but Eddie wasn’t. So we gathered in a more boring local karaoke bar, smoke, and drank, and occasionally sang.
Fiona already had some sort of internship lined up in the DC after her finals, though she said she had about a month before school started for us to go on our trip to Montana. So I started to contact travel agencies to help us book hotels along the way. My mother was in a generally positive mood now that she knew she was going home soon; for that duration she didn’t ask about anything I did. Most days she talked about her friends or relatives while we ate, then watched whatever Taiwanese channels were on the satellite TV. But one morning I came downstairs and instead of the usual smell of breakfast, I only saw my mother bent over her seat, clutching the phone receiver to her ear. The cord was wrapped under her elbow.
“I’ll go out,” I declared.
My mother only raised her eyes slightly in response.
It was my day off and I was not sure what would be open at that hour. So I went to the restaurant Eddie worked at and waited near the dumpster around the back. The men there all knew who I was, and so I was let in and given a cup of tea.
“Must not be good, if you came here,” Eddie commented as he passed by.
“Something up with my mom.”
Eddie glanced at the kitchen then took a seat across from me and poured himself a cup of tea. “What do you think it’s about?”
“I don’t know, but I didn’t like the look on her face.”
“Probably has to do with Taiwan,” said Eddie.
“It probably does.”
Eddie crossed his arms.
“And it’s not something I want to find out about,” I added.
Eddie remained silent for a moment, sipping his tea.
I sighed. “You think I need to go back don’t you?”
Eddie shrugged. “Japanese people take their time with things. And they seem to do well for themselves. Making fast decisions like Americans is not always the way to go.”
It was what I wanted to hear, but I knew it was wrong. I could almost see my father standing in the doorway of the restaurant, smirking. He was not much for brains, but he was a stereotypical ROC Marine, rushing into things without much of a second thought. If he said he would answer by some time he usually provided an answer earlier, and he never avoided things. I still remember the two of us running into a shu shu I knew he didn’t care for —to put it mildly— in the grocery store. My father and the man told me and the guy’s daughter to go to the bakery section while they talked. I’m not sure what was exchanged, but at least nothing happened to anyone in the store that day. No, avoiding my mother was out of the question. I felt myself stand up. “Let’s go out tonight. I think I’m going to need it.”
Eddie nodded. “You got it.”
The walk home was a bit windier than usual. On any other day I would have thought it was a nice day, but on that day the wind only felt like it was either pushing me or whistling at me in a mocking way
When I entered the house my mother was still sitting in the position she was in when I left. The phone receiver was back in the holder, and her eyes were puffy.
“Grandma is sick, and she doesn’t have much time left,” said my mother.
“Oh.” I held my hands in my jacket pockets and walked toward the kitchen table.
“First uncle was telling me why he didn’t say anything for a while. He told me what happened over the past few years.”
“I see.”
“We need to go as soon as possible. I told him we were going in a few months anyway, but we need to go now. I contacted a travel agency, and told first uncle how to wire the money.”
“Can I send you first and come after?” I blurted out. That was definitely the wrong question to ask. The change of expression in her face is something I will remember forever.
She grabbed the mug on the desk and chucked it at me. I lowered my arm just in time to catch the cup on the tip of my elbow. It deflected off onto the kitchen floor and shattered into many pieces. “What a worthless son! Do you have a brain? Or only a penis?”
Before I could think I lunged toward the table and gripped it in both hands. I pulled the table toward myself and flipped it over into the kitchen. A leg of the table went through the light fixture like a knife. Glass flew in all directions. The surface of the table hit the tile, and then slid toward the stove. I was breathing heavily; I could feel my heartbeat pounding through my head. My mother continued sitting where she was, staring at me. I had seen her crying and cowering under that table several times throughout my life. When I was fifteen I grabbed my father’s prized Louisville Slugger and stood in that same hallway in front of the table. He didn’t say or do anything in response. He just left for a few days, maybe on union business, some mistress’ house, maybe both. I don’t know if he didn’t want his bat to be broken or what; he probably wasn’t afraid that he’d be hurt. I knew I couldn’t beat him in a fight. Even up until he died, my father could probably kill ten men with his hands. I sometimes wondered if during raids in the 60s, that he had.
After that incident he never lifted a hand to my mother again, but our relationship was never the same after that. In any case, he stared at me in that moment with the same expression that my mother was staring at me now. I knew I was never going to see her cower under a table again.
“Are you done?” she asked softly.
I turned around and walked to the front door, slamming it behind me, the same way my father left when I was fifteen. I found a pay phone at Titan, but when I got there I realized Eddie and Jack were both at work still. Fiona’s last final would be that day, but she was the last person I wanted to talk to. Though I had another urge to just avoid the problem I knew I couldn’t do that. My pride would not let me drop her a letter and leave the country, and so I moved up the date I had scheduled for the next day to that night. I then called Fiona and told her to wait at her usual spot on the street corner so I could pick her up.
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
I didn’t have the energy to do anything else, so I waited for Fiona in her townhome complex until I saw her walk up the block. Before she could arrive at the spot I drove up to her and parked, getting out of the car to open the passenger door. Fiona got in, and we went into the city. I reserved a restaurant at a sushi restaurant. It was a weekday so there was plenty of parking. Fiona obviously knew something was going on, and I could tell she was on edge the whole time. We barely spoke during the trip down.
“You going to tell me what’s going on?” she finally asked, after we were shown our seats.
“My grandmother is sick, so we have go to back to Taiwan. The travel agency will probably get back to us by tonight, my guess is we’ll be gone by next week.”
“You should go back, then,” she replied without hesitation.
“What about our trip?”
Fiona’s eyes narrowed. “What did you say to her?”
“I asked my mom if I could send her to Taiwan first, and I could come after.”
Fiona frowned.
“What?”
“Do you want us to be together or not?” she whispered.
“What type of question is that?”
“Then be smarter!” she yelled, taking me aback.
“He—” The waitress had just walked over, and had stopped herself mid greeting.
I blinked, glancing from the waitress to Fiona. “Are there any combos?” I asked.
“Uh,” the waitress began.
I took a wad of cash out of my pocket and placed a twenty in her hands. “Just figure out a good combo for two, then leave us alone the rest of the evening.”
The woman bowed awkwardly and left.
“So what do you think I should do then?” I asked softly.
Fiona seemed surprised by the question. “Your grandmother is important. Get back as quickly as you can. Write after you’re unpacked.”
“I have enough to make a long distance call. Once a week.”
“That a promise?”
“At least until I enlist, then I have no idea when leave will be.”
“Mmmm.”
“What?”
Fiona didn’t answer for a while, and then the food arrived. The waitress seemed to follow my suggestion to leave us alone, barely bowing before leaving again. I started eating first, and then Fiona plucked a piece with her chopsticks, lifted it to her face while cupping her opposite hand under to catch any stray grains, and popped the sushi into her mouth. She covered her mouth as she chewed, inadvertently showing off the nails she had done in Manhatten.
“So how were finals?” I asked.
Fiona nodded as she finished chewing. “Good. I prepared in advance, so they shouldn’t be a problem.”
“And Harvard?”
Fiona only nodded again.
“All right.”
We talked about people from school and other niceties before we drove back to Maryland. I picked a park near Eddie’s place so that we wouldn’t run into my mom or her dad. We held hands as we followed the trail.
“So you’re going to be xiao shun, and take your mother back soon, right?” Fiona asked.
“I will,” I replied.
“Good, write back as soon as you’re unpacked,” she repeated.
“I will.”
Fiona nodded. She pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “Did I ever tell you my dad and mom lived in England for a while?”
“You did mention that,” I said.
“They took a road trip up to Scotland that time, and the lady who ran their bed and breakfast was named Fiona.”
“They must’ve liked her a lot.”
Fiona smiled. “You’d hope so.”
“So what does Fiona mean?”
“I have no idea.”
“Let me know when you find out.”
Fiona stopped walking, forcing me to stop next to her. “Why do you have to say it that way?” she asked.
I raised an eyebrow. “Say it like what?”
“I don’t like the way you said that.”
I sighed. “No matter how I say it I will go and come back at the same time. You’re going to have to accept that one way or the other.”
Fiona seemed to steel herself before speaking. “You going to send me an address?”
“I’m sure your dad will be thrilled to see that piece of paper in his mailbox.”
“You can send it to Fatty.”
“I don’t think Fatty is a strong supporter of our union.”
“But will he stop me from going to his restaurant? Throw out the letter?”
I put my fingers through my hair and closed my eyes. “I will go talk to him.”
“Don’t do this.”
“Do what?”
“I can feel you pulling away.”
I pulled her toward me and locked her into my embrace. We stood there for a while in silence. Fiona tried to remain strong, though a few tears did fall from her eyes. That made me incredibly sad as well, sadder than I thought I would be. It was only then that the realization I was going to be gone very soon hit me.
“How’s that for pulling away I asked?”
Fiona chuckled and wiped her eyes quickly, though she stayed standing there a while longer.
“I’ll tell Fatty. I’m sure he’ll let you know,” I said.
Fiona nodded.
“What are you going to do in July now?” I asked.
“I’ll call the firm and see if they can move my internship up.”
“Seems like a lame way to spend your last summer before college.”
Fiona shrugged. “I can take the train and see Michelle on the weekends. Union station is near where I work. Besides, I’m sure the firm won’t mind another coffee girl starting early.”
I frowned and looked down at the top of her head. “Be serious, that’s not what they’re making you do.”
“I’m sure I have to do some of it.”
“When you become a big time lawyer some girl will make coffee for you.”
Fiona gave a half hearted smile. “That’s a nice thought I guess.”
“It sure is. And if anyone gives you trouble in the city let me know. I can do something about it, even from Taiwan.”
She turned her head to look up at me, smiling mischievously. “Is that so?”
I actually wasn’t sure that I could, given how I was at best informally associated with anybody my father knew yet. But that was not the time for particulars. “That’s right,” I said firmly.
“Okay, then I’m counting on it.” Her smile widened, and she looked down, then back up again as she tapped her nails against my chest. She then pulled away, gently tugging on my hand. “Well, we’d better get moving. Call me when you find out about your ticket, and tell ah yi I said hi too.”