The next morning I woke up to see Fiona standing in the bathroom applying her makeup. She had already changed into her school clothes; I assumed that’s what her bag was for.

“I’m keeping some stuff in your trunk,” she commented nonchalantly.

I looked over to see that my work shirt and pants had already been pressed and laid out on the bed. “Oh. Thanks.”

“Mmmhmm.”

I glanced at the clock. School wouldn’t start for another hour, but I knew Fiona liked to get there early to study. Plus, I’d rather not run into anybody I knew and answer questions about my dad. I quickly dressed and rode the elevator to the front desk to check out. After, I crossed the parking lot over to the car to warm it up. As the engine hummed, I leaned against the driver’s side door and waited.

I could see Fiona exit and walk toward me about five minutes later, so I swung over to the other side and opened her door, closing it after she was comfortably in place.

“Ready?” I asked as I got in the driver’s seat.

Fiona forced a smile and touched my arm. “Babe.”

“Oh, right.” I pulled the seatbelt across my chest and buckled up. “Thanks.”

My fears of running into anyone were misplaced as I dropped her off. Only a few people were walking on the sidewalk, mostly underclassmen I didn’t know. Before I could close the door after her Fiona wrapped her arm around my neck and gave me a goodbye kiss. “See you tonight.” She patted my collar and walked off toward the main entrance. I glanced over to her bag in the trunk, reminding myself I had to swing by the dry cleaner’s later.

I then took a good look at the school. It was almost eerie how the place seemed to go about its business as usual, indifferent to the fact that I was never going back. That was one of those moments I understood the phrase “life goes on.” There’s no use holding onto things if the things won’t even hold onto you. I got in the car and drove back to the restaurant.

“Something the matter?” asked Fatty when I walked through the door.

“Long night.”

“Come into my office,” he said, dropping his Chinese newspaper.

I followed him into his office and shut the door. There was little that could bring my mood down after a night with Fiona, but Fatty’s slow walk to his desk was one of them.

“On account of Mr. Chang I am going to overlook this,” he paused for a long moment. “I don’t know what you’ve heard about me but I am very sensitive to things that go missing. If I catch you stealing again, you will be gone. And your father would have wanted the same. I also expect a replacement.”

“I…”

Fatty held up a hand. “No explanation is necessary.” He sighed. “And if I may be so bold as to give my unsolicited opinion. I think it’s best you forget about Ms. Lee.”

I wasn’t one to take much of anything from anyone — particularly when it came to Fiona — but it was hard to talk back to Fatty after what he had done for me.

“That is all. Get on the phones.”

“Yes sir.”

After work I of course ignored Fatty’s advice and called Fiona. This time we didn’t even make it to a hotel, but pulled up to a Titan supermarket — after hours — and got down to business in the back of the car. The weeks before my father’s funeral Fiona had generally rejected my advances, or remained still while we had sex — a far cry from when we first started going out. If I’m to be honest I was pretty sure we were going to break up. But now her body seemed to fuse with mine as we made love. She pushed herself against me any moment we were apart, as if no distance between us was close enough for us. I was a young man at the time, and I knew better than to ask her what had changed.

We went to get late night ice cream afterwards, with her leaning against my shoulder as we listened to music on my portable Traywave radio.

“Do you know Fatty Long?”

“My dad did,” she replied.

“Did?”

“Some falling out, not sure over what.”

I knew that Mr. Lee worked for the US government somehow. It would be wrong to assume that he did not love the ROC like my father and his associates, but his decision to switch his citizenship was controversial among us. Even though every patriot at the time knew that the United States was the main — if not sole — guarantor of the ROC’s existence, our particular community was not always receptive to those things. Fiona tried to persuade me once not to do my mandatory service, and I’m certain that was one of the main reasons my mother did not like her.

“Uh huh,” I managed. I tried to look busy eating my ice cream.

“How’s New York coming along?”

It’s important to note that Fiona did not usually push me on anything, and so her question caught me off guard. But of course I found her new assertive personality attractive, and felt myself smiling. “Still saving.”

Fiona sighed. “I’m getting bored of this place. Let’s go soon if we can.”

“I’ll make it happen.”

The next day at work Fatty made me work front of house and I was pretty sure I knew why. I hated that; I wanted to avoid interacting with the customers as much as possible. Phones gave me a comfortable distance from them; I hope god blesses whomever invented it. At noon, what I had hoped wouldn’t happen, did.

“Terrible thing, Mr. Chang. I’m so sorry.”

I frowned at the man. I recognized him, but had only seen him here and there. It was one thing to have someone say that to me that I knew, but I did not want to hear it from someone I was only acquainted with.

“Thank you, uncle,” I replied. I turned to leave.

“Wait, siau lian eh,” he said as he waved his hand to me.

The man suddenly pulled out his wallet and took a few hundred dollars out of it; he then shoved the bills into my pocket. An inexplicable rage surged through my chest. I dropped the notepad, pulled out the bills, and ripped them into as many small pieces as I possibly could. I then threw them on the ground and stepped on them with the ball of my dress shoe. I gripped my apron and slammed it against the table, turning and making my way toward the back door.

I didn’t even make it past two tables before I felt a strong arm grab my bicep and haul me behind the counter and through the kitchen. Fatty shoved the back door out so hard that it banged against the brick wall. He then lifted me clear off the ground and slammed me against the ground hard enough to knock the wind out of me. I wheezed as he stood up.

“Ni fa feng le ma? Have you gone crazy?” he shouted at me, his spittle spraying in my face.

Despite fighting for breath I scrambled up and swiped Fatty’s arm away. I somehow made it out of the alley and down a few blocks before I pulled over to a payphone. I picked up the receiver and was about to place coins into the machine when I stopped. What was Fiona going to do about it? Did I want her to hear me like this? Instead I called Jack and Eddie to meet me at the bowling alley after their shifts.

Jack worked at the main Chinese grocery store: Capital Market, and Eddie worked at a different restaurant.

“Man you look fucked up,” Eddie exclaimed while raising a beer to his lips.

Jack raised his bowling ball to face level dramatically. “Maybe you need a shower and a bed, instead of hanging out with us. Something go on with Princess Lee? That why we’re here with you?”

I didn’t mind taking that sort of shit from Jack.

“You’re paying for my beer,” I declared.

“Free loader,” he murmured as he tossed the ball. I think he hit about half the pins.

I downed about half my bottle of beer. “There anything else to do in this stupid town? What happened to roller rinks?”

Jack turned to me. “You like disco music?”

“No.”

“Well there’s your answer.”

Jack lined up the returned ball against the lane this time and swung his arm awkwardly. Despite that, the ball went at a smooth curve until it struck the rest of the pins down.

“Fuck yeah!”

“Good job,” I managed.

Jack turned and his expression grew more serious. “So you’re going to talk to us or what?”

“Finish the game. I’ll tell you guys over some fries.”

We finished bowling a bit later, though I couldn’t remember how I threw or what my results were. The moment we got our steak fries and coffee at the diner, Eddie stared at me while Jack had already eaten a few fries before I noticed.

“Well?” asked Eddie.

“Some idiot tried to give me money over the old man dying.”

“And you got mad?” asked Jack.

“What do you think?”

“Dude it’s fucking free money,” said Jack, dropping a fry. “We’re Chinese. It’s not like you’ve never seen this shit before. Just take it. Wow, you’re a dumbass.”

“Was never comfortable with that sort of thing.”

Eddie leaned back and folded his arms. “It’s more than that. That was just the trigger.”

Eddie was always perceptive. It could be annoying, but it was also what I liked about him.

I bit into a fry and held the other half in my fingers, shaking it. “Think my mom wants to go back.”

“To Taiwan?”

“To the Republic of China, yes,” I replied.

Eddie nodded slowly. “And Fiona?”

“I don’t know.”

“She could go with you,” Jack added in between bites. “I’m sure if you asked her she’d do it.”

“Her dad’s not gonna be too happy about it,” I said.

“She’s already doing all sorts of stuff with you her dad wouldn’t like. What’s something else?”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” I said.

“Well you’re both eighteen. What’s he going to do about it?” asked Jack.

“I don’t think Yiren follows that logic,” Eddie said quietly. “Still, you should probably say something to her. Give her forewarning.”

“Right,” I agreed.

We parted ways and I lingered in the parking lot for a bit. That didn’t last very long. Like I said, I was a young man back then and eventually could not resist the urge to see Fiona. While we laid there in bed she stayed silent for a few minutes before taking the remote and turning off the TV. “You going to tell me what’s on your mind?”

“Just thinking about how to save for the trip to New York. It should start getting nice in a few weeks. Thought we can go.”

Fiona’s lips grew thin. I knew she knew I was lying, and was waiting to see if she would push the issue. She did not.

“Will it disrupt your finals?” I asked.

“No,” she lied. “We’re going.”

“I already have enough to cover my mom this month. A week or two and I’ll have enough for us.”

“Just let me know when. I’m not worried,” she said.

It took a heartfelt apology to Fatty to get me back in the shift rotation, then quite a few more weeks for me to build up the funds. Without telling Fiona I decided to send my mother on a cruise out of Florida. Admittedly, not all of that was because I was a filial son. I did not have the energy to explain to my mother what I was doing, and who I was going to be doing it with, so I tried to line up her trip for when I was planning to bring Fiona to New York.

Trying to maneuver around the two women I loved — the only two women I would ever love, and the only two people, I think, who ever loved me — of course did not make me feel good. I thought about Fatty’s warning, though it’s not like his warning came from a particular place of insight. Everyone knew my mom hated Fiona, and Fiona’s parents hated me. In our culture in our time that was a big problem. It was a strong downward stream I knew in my heart I was futilely swimming up against. Still, I think when I look back to those days it was all worth it.

My mother’s plane ticket south was more expensive than I expected, but after saving enough money I finally set both her trip and mine with Fiona for the first week of May.