Jem woke up on the ground. He was cold, wet, confused and painfully sober. There was also something poking into his neck.

His eyes opened and he peered upwards.

A child stared at him, frozen. Jem would have assumed it was human if not for a pair of small lumps, no longer than two inches, on its forehead. Jem leaned forward to get a closer look, but the child ran away and started screaming.

Jem lowered his head back to the earth.

Oh, bother. Well, I’m not dead. That was a bit anticlimactic.

A burning sensation on the back of his hand drew his attention and he watched as the spot changed from a black void to purple and then to a glossy white with a speck of the deepest black in the centre.

And what’s happening to you?

Jem heard a chime in his head.

*Ding* Anomaly

*Ding* Increased system presence.

*Ding* You have gained the achievement awakening. Congratulations. Your eyes have opened and have glimpsed the world. You have touched Kol and it has touched you.

Reward: Trial eligibility.

*Ding* You have gained the achievement late awakening. Somehow you avoided the voice inside your head. What an idiot.

Reward: General Skill: Altered Presence. You seem younger than you are. You are more likely to be mistaken for an infant. This has mixed results.

*Ding* You have gained the achievement not of this world. Congratulations, either you’re an escaped experiment of a flesh alchemist or you’re from somewhere else.

Reward: ???*

Ding* You have gained the Achievement Spatial Shenanigans. Lvl 0 and cross-dimensional travel. We have an overachiever on our hands.

Reward: ???

*Ding* You have gained the achievement god’s plaything. The mystery is solved, you were summoned by one of the gods, that or some very very advanced arcana. Dance monkey dance.

Reward: ???

*Ding* You have gained the personal achievement latent bisexual tendencies. It took you long enough, but you’ve figured it out. You don’t have to choose! Not here anyway. Your parents aren’t anywhere to be seen and they can’t judge you anymore.

Reward: +1 Wisdom

Jem read the words and he felt his eyes bulge. What am I reading? Am I reading? It was like reading listening and knowing all at once.

*Ding* You have gained the personal achievement I was not to blame. You spent so long considering this that you’re practically a scholar. You aren't responsible for the actions of others. Yes, this includes the time you dropped a cup and your dad broke the plasma screen tv!

Reward: +1 intelligence

Jem swatted at the text in his face and they faded into the background, though he could still hear the chiming noise about once every couple of seconds. Jem closed his eyes against a mounting ache in the back of his head. The pain worsened before it got better and he lapsed into unconsciousness.

Awareness slowly came back to Jem, his mouth tasted like rust and he could smell metal, or maybe it was the other way around. His eyes felt like they’d been glued shut, but with a little effort he opened them.

Five people stood above him, Jem assumed they were adults, and probably of the same species as the child he’d seen before. He wasn't able to make an accurate guess from where he was lying, but he was sure they were taller than him. But the biggest difference was the pair of large antlers sprouting from their foreheads.

As Jem moved there were calls in a language he didn’t know but sounded remarkably similar to French from above him. He really hoped it wasn’t french. He’d been dragged from his world into an entirely new one. Unless this was the afterlife. It felt like he at least deserved the people there not to speak french.

God maybe this is hell.

He knew he was being dramatic, and objectively speaking french speakers should have been the last thing on his mind. It just went against his well-defined and British sense of decorum and all that.

And the antlerfolk were giving him weird looks. Right yes. I am still on the floor. Jem rolled onto his side and levered himself up. And in a pirate costume..

He chose one of the people at random. Here goes.

“Hello.”

The others shared a look. Okay, so English was a long shot anyway.

“Bonjour.”

More silence.

Not French then. Jem wanted to be relieved. But in truth, it made things just a little more real. Jem looked down at his cutlass.

“I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.”

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The person closest to him raised an eyebrow at him. Ah yep, I guess judgement looks the same wherever you go.

Jem looked around at them and tried a couple more greetings.

“Hola.”

“Guten tag.”

“Hi?” Jem gave a little wave.

One of the others stepped away and beckoned Jem forward. With nothing else to do, he followed.

At least he wasn’t lying on the ground anymore.

The group took Jem into a village. As they walked they continued trying to engage Jem in a one sided conversation. He listened to what they said but didn’t focus all of his attention on it. As they went more people joined their group. While the five original adults all carried weapons the new villagers seemed to share little in common.

Jem turned it into a little game, the woman in a white apron was a surgeon and the red stains on it were blood. The man in thick leathers and soot on his brow was a blacksmith and the man with chalk dust in his hair was a teacher.

*Ding* You have unlocked the General skill identify Lvl 0. You’re hopeless. That wasn’t a blacksmith that was a [Metal Worker Lvl ??]

Jem intuitively knew he could pull up his status, and that is what he did. New information in my brain, trippy.

Name: James Baker

True Name:

Age: 20

Classes

Starting Class: Unselected

Further Information Locked

Skills

Vitality: 8

Wisdom: 9

Toughness: 6

Intelligence: 9

Strength: 7

Dexterity: 11

Achievements: Hidden

Notification Log: Hidden

General skills:

Identify (E) Lvl 0

Altered Presence(passive)(B): Lvl 0

– – – – – –

System Presence: 9274

Jem very suddenly, and for the first time in his life, wished that he’d paid more attention to his cousins’ attempts to get him to play DnD.

A woman in gaudy white and purple robes, ran at the crowd yelling. Her voice was rough like sandpaper. But the people only chuckled and most stepped out of the way. Those that didn’t were gazing off into space.

The woman nimbly dodged around those in a way that belied her withered frame. When she got to Jem she paused and smiled. But there was a disconcerting manic gleam in her eyes.

The woman pulled out a pen or some kind of stylus and started drawing in the air. It was one continuous motion. A series of jagged lines that never quite touched. Magic. Jem couldn’t tear his eyes away.

Frantic motions increased in speed before coming to a halt. The beginning connected to the end and the magic snapped in place. The jagged lines turned flowing and back again, in a state of superposition. At that moment Jem became very aware of the fact that he didn’t have a clue what the magic was about to do.

Just as he took a step back the magic rushed back into the woman and she smiled.

“Hello. What's your name?” She was speaking English.

“Jem.”

She stared at him for a moment, presumably waiting for him to say more. Well, this is awkward.

Jem chuckled. “Just Jem.”

“Jem, I’m going to have to ask you to come with me.”

I don’t really want to go with a random stranger. Jem smiled. Part of him wanted to object. On the other hand, he was painfully aware he knew nothing, knew no one, and that pissing off the first person he could communicate with might not be a good idea. But I don’t really have a choice, do I?

“Take me to your leader.”

The woman quirked an eyebrow. “Follow me.”

Ahh, the judgement face.

Jem followed behind the woman as she purposefully strode back the way she came. Jem used [Identify]. [Preist Lvl ???] The woman’s step hitched for a moment but she continued on. Her pace increased slightly, from the very slow walk she had affected, presumably for Jem’s benefit, to something that looked more natural. This left Jem in an awkward half-walk half-jog.

Is this on purpose? Also, a priest? Jem’s footsteps also hitched as he considered the implication. Real tangible gods, if those notifications were an indication. I really hope this isn’t.

A small stone structure came into view. It had a domed roof the light blue of weathered copper and had a sign wrought of grey metal in an alphabet that Jem didn't recognise. The remaining question was whether the building was a church, a government office or some mixture of the two.

The doors swung open on well-oiled hinges. Sunlight fell down through the copper roof, casually bending physics for the sake of natural light. Jem didn't want to admit it but after almost a year in his dingy university accommodation, it was the most amazing thing he’d seen yet.

The scent of a warm spice lingered in the air a mixture of cinnamon and nutmeg. Opposite the doors was a pedestal in the shape of a 12-point star. Jem was not particularly familiar with 12-point stars hence the three whole seconds of counting.

This is bloody weird. Jem sincerely hoped that he was not about to become some kind of sacrificial lamb.

“Come this way please.” When she wasn't yelling her voice was still gravelly like rough sandpaper but it held a warm quality.

They entered an office with a surprisingly modern aesthetic, though it managed to look arcane and weird at the same time. The priest’s desk stood at the far end of the room, it looked strikingly similar to that of his headteacher in secondary school. There was even a window. This window looked out over a vegetable garden instead of a car park though. Jem knew which he preferred.

To Jem's surprise, the priest didn't lead him over to the desk instead she stopped him in the middle of the room. Jem looked down and carved into the floorboards there was a diagram of a flower.

“Wait here.” She said.

She then looked to the door and yelled. “Laurent stop being useless and you can have your church back.”

Jem heard scrambling from an upstairs that he hadn't even realised existed. And then a yell came back. He didn't understand any of the words.

Jem was just about to ask why she’d yelled in English when the world shuddered. Jem heard a tinkling sound, like the distant smash of glass. He felt his stomach drop out from under him. His hand sneezed.

And they stepped.

Jem looked at his hand, his brow furrowed.