A dull ember of rage radiated through me, mirroring the smoldering ruins of Aquittemia, my hometown. As I sat, hugging my legs and mindlessly staring out at the glowing devastation, the three moons set just before the sun rose. Nothing more than a smoldering ruin stood in place of what was once the capitol city full of life and people. The desolation was a painful reminder that I had failed. The only survivors lay sleeping nearby me, waiting for the full realization of everything that had happened last night to hit them.

It’s real. All of that happened. A part of me wanted to hope that it was all a dream and I would wake up and everything would be fine. It’s not fine. The demon king is loose, and so many people are dead.

I looked down at the bracelets on my arms. One was slightly oversized since it belonged to my mate, Victor. A deep, hollow feeling filled my heart as I traced my finger on the crude etching of a bird he liked to draw. The simple geometric shapes of ovals, rectangles, and triangles carved from his claws were his promise to a childhood friend of his to see the world and to live each day to its fullest. He’s dead. He’s dead because he wanted to help me keep the people of the city safe.

A tear rolled down my cheek until it hit my lips. He had killed an undead dire bear by himself. He was special. I should talk to Fina. She’s gone through the same thing where her mate was killed before she could have kids too.

I could hear something flying above me. When I looked up, I knew my quiet moment was over. Flying above me was The Rider of Pain and Death, Lust. I can’t believe that one of my allies is the former sin of lust. Even after she manipulated the Beast King to attack Rophmna, after she manipulated the orcs to capture Fina, after she used my life to force my sister to make a deal, twice, after she...

A hand rested on my shoulder. I knew from the scent it was my mother. “Honey, are you okay? What’s got you growling so early in the morning?”

Have I been growling? She even walked up next to me without my noticing. “Sorry.” I placed a hand on hers. “I didn’t realize I had gotten so worked up that I didn’t know I was growling. Did I wake you? It’s just her; everything she’s done and the way things are just doesn’t sit well with me.” I turned to look up at her.

Her green hair was down and in dire need of a comb. But the hurt in her brown eyes stung more than her disheveled look. Mom sat down next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

“Just ignore her for now,” she whispered. “You can’t let her get to you.”

I scoffed. “Too late for that.” I hugged my legs even tighter. “It’s all my fault. And now I can’t forget her. She won’t let me forget the deal I made.” I placed my head on my knees as my tail curled around me to cover my feet. “Was it selfish of me to do what I did?”

There was a pause from my mother. “It was.” I knew it. “But—” she gently turned my head to look me in the eye “—if you keep blaming yourself for every mistake you make, you’ll never make things right.”

I rolled my eyes and pulled my head back. “Is that even possible at this point? What is right anymore?”

“Are we really back to the ‘woe is me’ act?” I slammed my eyes shut at the sound of the sultry voice.

While that voice would make most people dizzy with desire, it was the most repulsive sound I could hear. The demoness floated in front of me in all her exposed glory of vibrant red skin, supple and perfect. Her muscles had grown even further, leaving her an attractively muscular body with ample curves. She could tempt any man, even some women, despite her obviously demonic form.

I turned my head. “Leave me alone.”

“I saved your dear mother, and this is all the thanks I get?” Her mocking tone pushed my desire to rip her to shreds with my claws even further. “But you made a deal.” I flinched. “We have to catch up with the Rider of Ruin before she gets too out of control.”

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“Does that mean you’re going to tell us what we’re up against?” Anna asked as she sat against a tree.

I could hear more of everyone else stirring as they were all waking up with Lust not keeping it quiet. “If you thought Pain and Death were difficult to kill, Ruin will be impossible. Her power grows with time.”

I glared at the succubus. “And what do you think I’m capable of? Huh? What?” I bolted to my feet and stormed over to her. “You caused all this, and now you’re making me clean up everything so you can reap the benefits. You want me to bow to your every whim and jump to your every bark? My home, everything I know, is in ruins. You’re an uncaring monster.”

She stared at me, almost looking bored. “You done?”

I growled. “No!”

I pounced at her, and I flew right through her body. Another illusion! A bloodthirsty growl escaped my throat as I looked for any sign of her actual body.

“Sis, calm down.” Lexia ran up to me with Gifford, her mate, not far behind. “You know she’s only doing that to work you up. Stop playing her games.”

The illusion of Lust crossed her arms. “She’s right, you know. If you have the energy to cry and to try to kill me, then go hunt down the Rider of Ruin. The sooner our deal is finished, the sooner we kill the demon king, and then we never have to see each other again.”

“Waterfalls!” I screamed as I threw my head back.

I silently stomped into the forest that was my territory, away from everyone. My ears didn’t pick up any movement as I kept walking. Each step was heavier than the last. My claws itched as I really wanted something to tear apart.

I’m fifteen years old, and I’m expected to save the world. So what if I’m physically an adult? Shouldn’t someone more responsible save the world? Oh right, the demon king killed Daric too. I guess the shorter list is who he didn’t kill. Does that mean I have to be the one who tells Evalana her brother, the king, is dead? I know I wanted to get vengeance for everyone killed by the demon king, but will that bring anyone back? Will that fill the hole in my heart?

I stopped walking and leaned up against a tree. The leaves of the canopy were barely rustling in the wind as I looked up at them. I don’t know if anything can make the pain go away. They say time heals all wounds, but does it really? Or do you become so numb to the constant pain that it feels like it’s healed? When Silver died, I thought I could handle the pain. But this is so much worse.

A tear slipped from my eye and rolled down my cheek. “On top of everything, I said I wanted to kill the demon king, and he’s a fire-breathing dragon. Me, with pyrophobia, fight a creature that breathes fire; I’m doomed.”

The words seemed to echo throughout the forest, as if mocking me. A rustle of a bush behind me caught my attention. I bolted to see what caused the sound, only to breathe a sigh of relief. Fina had followed me.

The lynx beastkin had a sorrowful look on her fluffy face. Even though she was smaller than me in all dimensions, she was older than me by a couple of years. Her very fluffy tail swayed behind her as she approached me. I couldn’t hold back the smile as I looked at her trademark white spot on the base of her neck in the midst of the rest of her reddish brown fur.

I knew why she followed me.

She held out her arms, inviting me in for a hug. “You hurt. I’ll help?”

The emotional pain of yesterday’s events still burned as I hugged the cuddly woman. I even nuzzled the top of her head between her ears. There’s something so satisfying about her fluffiness. Fina hugged me back. She even started purring. We stood in silence. Mostly because of the words I wanted to ask, I wanted to put off as long as possible.

“It always hurts.” Fina broke the silence and the hug to look up at me.

She knew what I wanted to ask her. “Does it get easier?”

Fina stopped purring. “Yes, but not quickly.” She tilted her head to the left. “You angry?”

I flattened my ears and curled my tail around my waist. “Angry, confused, hurt, lost, and a bunch of other emotions I don’t know how to describe. I don’t know how to handle these emotions or what to do with all of them.”

Fina grabbed my hand and led me further into the forest. “You feel one.” I followed her; my tail hung low behind me. “Then feel another. Then another. Never more than one. You feel all emotions.”

“Then what? What do I do with the emotions?”

Fina stopped and turned to me. She grabbed my head and pulled me close to her. “You feel, then done.”

I deflected my gaze. “That’s easier said than done.”

“Yes.” Fina shook my head, forcing me to look her in the eye again. I could see the pain in her eyes too.

I didn’t realize how tense I was until I relaxed. Even with her rather minimalistic speech, her words never lost their meaning. She’s still in pain too. Fina still feels the loss of her mate. Maybe she always will. That means that I’ll never forget Victor. Good. Because I have just the one to take my pain out on. After all, he made it personal.

I took Fina’s advice and felt one emotion. Anger. But I never let it go. I let it build until there was no more pain. I let it build until there was nothing left to feel but rage. I growled as I stormed back to the others. For a moment, I thought I saw Fina frown as I walked away.

He’s going to pay. And nobody will stop me.