The frantic cracking of wood striking wood rang in my ears as the sounds reverberated off the training room walls. My frustration grew as I beat the stationary wooden dummy, and I panted from the exertion of having swung a practice sword around for most of the night.
This is supposed to calm me down, not make things worse. I growled as I struck the wooden mockery of a man. When I paused for a moment to catch my breath, I heard someone walking up the stairs to the training room.
Great, now I’m in trouble. With a scream, I swung the wooden practice sword at the dummy’s fake head with all of my might. The crack left my ears ringing while the dummy’s head went flying into the wall across the room and half of my practice weapon went soaring off in the other direction. The door opened, and a familiar motherly figure walked cautiously into the room.
“Trouble sleeping again?” Nora asked softly. “It’s getting worse, isn’t it?”
“What do you think?” I snapped. Stop. Get a hold of yourself. It isn’t her fault. “Sorry. It’s getting worse.”
I turned to the tall elven woman, my ears and tail drooping. She was in a simple long black nightgown that nearly reached her stockinged feet with an additional layer of a long-sleeved shirt underneath. It’s the start of the water season, and things are warming up. How can she still be cold? Oh right, she’s not covered in fur like me.
“You know you can talk to me, right?” Nora walked up slowly to me.
“I have.” I threw the broken piece of wood into the pile of other broken practice swords from earlier in the week. “But nothing’s helped. I have so much energy that I can’t sit still. I can’t help myself but burn it all off until I practically pass out. And if I do sleep, it’s only for a short time before I’m back to having an unreasonable amount of energy.”
“I gave you permission to use this room at night, hoping it would help.” Nora then looked at the pile of broken wood. “But that has become a costly decision. I also didn’t expect you to be this loud, either.”
“It would be better if I could just run around the streets at night, but you already vetoed that.” I crossed my arms and scowled before quickly deflating. “Who am I kidding? That probably won’t work anymore. I don’t know why I have all of this energy and why it started at the beginning of the wind season last year.” I stared at my claws. “It’s got to be my recovery aptitude.” Salien, our local expert on the recovery aptitude and my doctor, has told me a lot about my recovery aptitude. “Every time I hurt myself, I’ll heal faster. With all this exercise and tiring myself out, my body must treat it similarly to when I hurt myself. Every time I exhaust myself, I recover faster. The more I exercise until I can’t anymore, the more I need to.”
Nora had a thoughtful look on her face. “You may be right, but I have a feeling there might be other factors contributing to it.”
“Really?” I flicked my ears towards Nora. “Like what?”
“I had a feeling about it last season, but now it’s undeniable.” Nora stood, smiling at me. “With your growth spurt and now much more obvious developments, I can say with confidence that it’s because you’re now at an important stage of your life.”
I looked at her, confused. “What developments?”
She pointed to my chest. It’s a little puffier than it used to be, but what does she mean? The realization of what she was pointing out hit me hard. “You can’t be serious. I’m too young for that.”
“You’re a little on the early side, but nothing unreasonable.” Nora tried to suppress her giggling. “Don’t worry, what you’re experiencing is completely natural.”
“Nope!” I covered my ears. “La-la-la-la. I don’t want to hear it.”
“You’ve seen all your sisters go through it. Now it’s your turn.” I could still hear Nora even after covering my ears. This is the one time I wish my hearing wasn’t as good as it is.
I ran out of the room and down the stairs. After I left the classroom, I dashed to my room and barricaded the door, even though I knew full well that wouldn’t stop Nora. My mind spiraled out of control as I paced back and forth. An unending nonsensical stream of uncontrolled thoughts tumbled in my brain before I slapped myself back into reality. Mom’s right; this is completely natural. I’m just overreacting again.
I went to the corner of my room where I had been marking my height over the years. I’ve grown six inches in the last year. If my measurements are correct, that would make me sixty-six inches tall. I walked in front of my personal mirror, which was hanging in a corner.
I scrutinized my appearance. The same silver fur covered my entire body as it had my entire life. It’s nice and thick while being a little longer from the recent ice season. My hair stopped growing once it passed my shoulders by an inch. It’s as thick as my fur and almost as fluffy as my tail. I smiled and admired all of my teeth. Forty-two sharp white teeth sat ready to sever flesh from bone. I bit my tongue one time and punctured a hole through it. It stopped bleeding by bedtime, but it took the next day to heal fully. I moved my gaze downward. My tail is long and fluffy, about twenty-one inches long. I always take really good care of it. Is my butt getting bigger? My furry fingers and digitigrade feet were tipped with sharp claws. Over the years, I’ve become quite reliant on them, haven’t I?
I then turned my attention to the area Nora had mentioned. I wore a gray nightdress that I’d bought recently because I outgrew more of my clothes again. The lack of jewelry on my neck still left a satisfying feeling. It’s been a little more than a year, but it still feels liberating to be free of that collar. Now I can get angry without going blind and deaf as if a lighting bolt struck the ground in front of me.
My chest had two slight bumps, the telltale signs of female maturity. My breasts are growing. Right… puberty. I knew it was coming, but I never prepared myself for it. So Mom believes my excessive energy is due to me going through puberty. Is she right, or is it just a coincidence?
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I started pacing again, trying to get my thoughts under control. Female puberty—isn’t that mostly like male puberty, with some exceptions? I don’t have to worry about growing extra hair. I’m covered in fur. So, a little extra height, breasts, and what else? I could feel my eyes bulging as yet another realization hit me. Periods… What do I do about them? Should I ask Mom about them? I stopped my pacing and racked my brain to think of a way to talk to Nora about it. I can’t come up with anything other than asking bluntly. A growl escaped my lips. If she tries anything funny, I’ll... I’ll... I don’t know what I’ll do, but I’ll be livid.
I cleared the door of the barricade. When I opened the door, I saw Nora standing in front of it with her arms crossed, tapping her foot.
“Are you done?” she asked.
When did she get there? Was I so distracted that I didn’t pay attention to her walking to my door? Fine, if she wants to play it that way…
I looked down each hallway, and when I didn’t see anyone else, I grabbed Nora’s wrist and pulled her to my room with almost no difficulty. She bit back a yelp of surprise. Once she got her feet back under herself in the middle of my room and I closed the door, she turned to me and said, “I forgot how strong you’ve gotten recently. Your physical aptitude really is something special.” I couldn’t suppress my grin.
“Tell me everything I need to know.” I crossed my arms and glared at the elven woman. By flexing a muscle in my foot in just the right way, I started tapping a toe claw on the floor. It’s harder than it looks, but boy does it intimidate everyone. “Now.”
“I’m glad you’ve calmed down enough to accept that you’re growing up, but you still need to remember your manners.” Nora stood up straight and used her mom voice. It intimidates everyone, except for her. The air rapidly became harder to breathe.
I gave up all pretense of rebellion and caved. “Sorry.” I walked tentatively to my bed. As I sat on my bed, I flattened my ears and curled my tail around my leg. “I’m just… I just… I don’t know how to handle all this.”
Nora sat on the bed next to me. “I know, honey.” She wrapped her arm around me and pulled me in for a hug. “Your body is going through a lot of changes. I might not completely understand what you’re going through or what you will go through, but I want you to know that I am not your enemy.”
Red flag!
I pushed Nora away from me. “Hold on. What do you mean? What will I go through?” I was on the verge of tears a moment ago, but something about what she’d said irked me. She knows something and hasn’t told me yet.
Nora had that look on her face that told me she knew exactly what I was thinking. She smiled and tried to hug me again. I caught her arm and held it away from me. She sighed as she lowered her arm. “You know how I inherited all of those books in the classroom?” The ones Phan owned before they found him dead. I nodded. “Well, I found some books that had more information on beastkin a little more than a year ago.”
“And when were you planning on telling me this?” I bared my teeth and growled. She’s been holding out on me!
“Stop that!” Nora flicked her wrist and used her magic to force my mouth shut. “Behave!” She pointed a finger right between my eyes. “I fully intended to tell you everything I learned in those books. I was just waiting until you were mature enough to handle the information.”
Fine. I relaxed as I calmly brought my hands up to my mouth. I grabbed hold of the hardened air and pried it apart. It took every bit of strength I could exert, but I felt the magic lose out against my strength.
“Are you going to behave?” Nora was grimacing, but she still used a commanding voice.
“Yes,” I said with a sigh, reining in the desire to slap her with my claws. “You remember I know the general information about puberty, right? I just don’t know anything about beastkin.”
“Yes, but you were having so much fun being a kid that I didn’t want to ruin it for you.” Nora was smiling again. “I’m glad I don’t need to tell you how babies are made.” A look of concern covered her face. “That conversation always leads to everyone avoiding me for at least a week.” She shook her head. “But I digress.”
I asked, “Do you know about human women bleeding every four weeks?”
Nora nodded. “It’s known as a period.”
It’s a little more complicated than that, but let’s keep things simple. I gave her a worried look. “Is that going to happen to me too?”
“Nope,” Nora said, a little too gleefully. “That’s a thing only human women have. You, as a beastkin, are going to have something a little different.” Okay, this pause isn’t helping my nerves. “Once a season, you are going to look to mate with the one that attracts you. Also, beastkin often bear two children at a time.”
I stared at her, dumbfounded. “Did you just tell me I’ll go into heat once a season?”
“If that’s what you call it, then yes. But I should mention that it only happens once a male beastkin has been imprinted on you. Apparently, beastkin mate for life because for a male to be imprinted on you, they have to earn your approval. Or something like that.” She sounded like she was questioning the words as she said them. “There were almost no details on that part.”
“Is ‘imprinted’ really the right word?” I asked doubtfully.
Nora threw her hands up. “I don’t know. I’m just using the vocabulary the book used. Also, you will be a fully grown adult at fifteen, too. That’s different from every other race. Elves, dwarves, dragoons, and humans are all fully mature at age nineteen. Orcs and goblins aren’t even worth mentioning.”
“So am I going to go into the army once I’m fifteen?” I believe the contract specifically said seventeen, not when I had become an adult.
“Do you want to leave me that badly?” Nora looked hurt by my question. “Not unless we make arrangements otherwise. The contract you signed when you first arrived says once you turn seventeen. Why?”
“No, I just wanted to know. Do these books mention the average lifespan of a beastkin? If I’m going to be an adult at fifteen, do I live until I’m forty?”
“It did mention it. But I don’t know why you think that. You’ll live just as long as a human.” Nora stared at me with concern. “If you’re worried about having to live your entire life in the military, don’t. So far, since you’ve been getting food from your apprenticeship with the trappers, it cut down your needed stipend considerably.” She smiled at me. “Even if you keep breaking all the practice equipment at the same rate you have been until you’re seventeen, you’ll need to serve about six years. But that’s only a rough guess.” Nora stood up from the bed. “Now, you have a big day tomorrow, correct? Aren’t you going on your first hunting excursion at sunrise?”
“I completely forgot!” I’ve been so worked up that I completely forgot about that. My tail wagged behind me.
“There’s still some time before sunrise. Try to get some sleep. It is a big day, after all.” Nora slowly walked towards the door. She smiled as I curled up in a blanket, then walked out and closed the door behind her.
We just had a conversation about puberty, and now you want me to go to sleep? I’m so excited that I’m finally able to hunt something now that it’s the water season. Yeah, sorry, Mom. Sleep’s not happening tonight. I’ll take a nap later and be just fine. I lay down and stared at the ceiling, impatiently waiting for the sun to rise. The anxiety of the future kept my heart and mind racing throughout the night.