The Peculiar Quality Of This Emotion Is Its Invariable Manifestation When Least Convenient For The Person Experiencing It

Lord Audnauj collected his Yumins, and on the streets back to Millennium House he did his utmost to contemplate things other than the notoriety servant chat must have given him. The Yumins, for their part, walked with their master no longer than one city block before they contrived to fall back, pulling Dirant, Takki, and Foshkay along with them.

Hugal began the interrogation. “Hey. Who is it this time?”

“How worried do we have to be?” Eyanya added.

“Ah.” At last Dirant understood. “That is the cause behind his mood, is it? Hm. Takki, do you think it's possible that it's . . .”

“It has to be, right? We can do better than guess though. Come on.” The trailing contingent caught back up to the leader, who had not noticed their dilatoriness. Takki grabbed Dirant's arm as some kind of signal they ought to have established beforehand and asked as nonchalantly as she was able, “Well, Ressi? Did anyone there catch your eye in your position as a healthy young man? Any ladies I mean? Attractive ones?”

The awkwardness of the prompt made Dirant wonder how well Takki performed in those historical reenactments, but for the moment he cooperated as best as his Panache allowed. “Perhaps it is praise for the tailors and jewelers who furnished the guests that beneath the dazzling glamour I marked no particular lady as exceptional.”

Audnauj turned around and walked backward while admonishing Dirant. “It's someone else's fault for putting you on the spot, I'll give you that, but you can't go around telling lies and so forth. Think of your reputation.”

Unfazed by the attack because of the circumstances, Dirant countered with a light feint. “Think of yours after what these . . . you understand.”

Audnauj winced. “I'm afraid I do. Back to my point.” His smile degraded into condescension. “I'm afraid I have to force you to fess up, Dirant. Tell everyone here about Miss JemmzIszti. Describe her fully. I'll know if you left anything out.”

Dirant and Takki exchanged knowing yet disappointed looks. Disappointed in themselves both for expecting anything different and for not realizing it before the servants identified the issue. “As you say. Deliëraï JemmzIszti is the name, it was revealed, of the Stegzin Ninja leader who caused so much trouble in Lesser Redrin.”

“I see,” said Hugal, Eyanya, and several other Yumins in a flat tone.

“I grant permission for each person who saw her then to develop his own opinion as to her appearance and integrity. Proceeding to Miss JemmzIszti's eloquence, I question her suitability for public roles and wish her luck in her current occupation, though whether we classify that as military, intelligence, military intelligence, or something else is obscure. 'Language makes rivers into streams and creeks,' and this is no different.”

“Fine, fine. I can't expect you to become voluble about this sort of thing now. Just let me tell all of you that my opinion is etched in steel, and so would yours be if you'd been there.” Audnauj returned to a forward-facing orientation as he strolled, his arms swinging loose and free.

The troop fell behind again to discuss the issue, and that time Onzalkarnd joined them out of sudden concern. “How worried do we have to be about this Deliëraï JemmzIszti object?” Eyanya asked again with more detail.

“Not at all,” Dirant asserted. “The other party evinced no interest whatever in our favorite party. The two have no reason to interact ever again, or if they did, share no language in which to arrange it. This romance ended before it began. Tragic, yet beautiful for that.”

“The ideal ending,” Hugal said.

Eyanya nodded. “That's right. We don't have to do anything except add an entry to Master Audnauj's catalogue of bad ideas. Phew!” She wiped her dry forehead with an exaggerated gesture. Onzalkarnd unobtrusively wiped his own slightly damp forehead along with her.

Stolen novel; please report.

“I have some doubts,” Takki mused. She saw the consternation of her fellows and rushed to correct herself. “I really do agree about the likelihood Lord Audnauj will get anywhere. I'm not talking about that. It's just, would that be bad? Miss JemmzIszti's actions and speech may be questionable in a lot of ways . . .”

“Excessive charity may devolve into sin,” Dirant warned.

“Well, we can't pretend like we know all the context. Those were Miss JemmzIszti's orders is what I mean. Doesn't that show loyalty? And competence, since she's in charge? An attention to detail and a sense of responsibility.” Takki sensed her audience to be unreceptive to her argument, perhaps because she clearly struggled to come up with it in the first place. Undismayed, she launched another assault. “I still think she shows up well compared to people like Desonn Sheglei. I mean . . . Desonn Sheglei! One look at her!”

“You've stated it perfectly. A single glance at Glainai Gabas's equally bad half is warning enough for any man of normal judgment, and then there is Lord Audnauj.” Dirant at last, against his inclination, reached the repugnant yet inevitable conclusion. “That Stegzin operative may in fact be the best woman for him in all the world. Yet nothing I said about the implausibility of the match is altered by that.”

The cortege proceeded back to the hotel, most of its members in a solemn mood except for the laGabohnsay family and Audnauj himself, who dropped back to check if anyone was discussing Miss JemmzIszti after all and was pleased to discover several were. He winked at Dirant and trotted ahead while the rest tossed around ideas to save him from himself despite the evident impossibility of the task.

In the lobby of the sixth-best establishment of its kind in Dittsen, Audnauj relaxed and asked, “What plans have all of you now? Mr. laGabohnsay's family will be staying with me for a few days of vacation here, of course. I'll want to get at that Scale and the board game too. But after that. I suppose it's back to the Lesser for me to confirm the eardron situation, then off to do the same about the core statue. Some other errand after that, I suppose.”

Inspiration came to Dirant, who at last remembered to include in his calculations the resources available to Audnauj though unavailable to him. He decided to make a helpful suggestion as a parting gift, meager as it was. “Likely to Stegzi after you dedicate yourself to learning Yosribdi in order to participate in negotiations with other countries heretofore neglected in Redrin's diplomatic efforts,” he suggested.

Audnauj sat straight up. “There's an idea. It's just the sort that made them say, 'Never is done worse what is done without advice,' isn't it, Onzalkarnd?”

“'Save what is done without spirit,' my lord.”

“There's no fear of that when Dirant here is getting me exercised.”

Dirant smiled in a manner he intended to look self-deprecating rather than smug, but the people there would have given him some unwelcome news had he asked. “My finest notions are reserved for others. For myself, I have no ambition but to return to Fennizen. On the way I must be sure to read the latest articles about the daring theft carried out at the expense of Vogdi JomOdro's collection. The authorities are puzzled, our sympathy goes out to him, is Baosnesk a safe place to live these days, and so.”

“Oh, so you won't be coming with me on a cross-continental journey to chase the thieves, Ressi?” Takki asked.

“Stadeskosken is not as liberal with its work hours as that. Or? I suppose I have reason to doubt that claim. I must inquire.”

“Now halt there,” Audnauj interrupted. “You're convinced Glainai's going to clean the place out?” With nods as his response, not just from Dirant and Takki but also from a crowd of Yumins and chief attendants who had come to respect their judgment in certain areas, he continued. “I don't agree with you. First of all, who's to say pawning off a fake statue isn't the extent of it this time? And it's not as if Vogdi JomOdro didn't take precautions. You want to pretend you didn't notice the Ninjas, but you did.”

“Ah, and how well they performed at Chunawm Metals we all know well.”

“That's exactly it. They even prevented themselves from stealing.”

Audnauj's counter left Dirant reeling but unshaken in his convictions. Instead of arguing further, he offered a way to gather evidence which might support a more informed answer to the question and double up on his parting gift at the same time. “Here is my proposal. We dine, wait a bit, perhaps a nap, and then return to Nifkir's Pillar to ascertain the strength of the security there. Our excuse is that my statue is at risk. In fact, my anxiety is such that I must leave to you, Lord Audnauj, the responsibility of interrogating the head of security.”

+1 bonus to Gumption gained.

Audnauj seized Dirant's hand and shook it in the Adaban fashion, for only by that physical connection could he hope to transmit his gratitude. Words could never have sufficed unless he changed his class to Evoker right there. A moment so moving resisted interruption, but Foshkay laGabohnsay did so anyway to ask whether he had to go. “Certainly not,” Lord Audnauj assured him. “Put your children to bed and don't think about us. That goes for the rest of you also.”

“Master Audnauj, I think we should leave his children to him,” Eyanya said.

“Oh, right. Then you all stay here. Or come with. It's up to you.”