The Three Qualities Of The Successful Inspector Are Diligence, Diligence, And Diligence

In a drawing room, probably the only one in all Mosso Eksu since only readers and publishers of Adaban serials had ever heard of such a thing, Imlakke the banker was waving a bundle of papers which Takki snatched with the Coordination Battlers did not require but usually possessed. Dirant refrained from asking out of politeness, reminded himself that reticence regarding the stats was an Adaban peculiarity according to university students who praised the superior culture of Chtrebliseu (they had never been to that country but were quite sure Greater Enloffenkir had much to learn from it), reflected that whatever the deficiencies of those students the company's hired experts agreed, and resolved to bring up the subject. All that within a few seconds as well.

“Did that require great Coordination?”

“Hm? See for yourself.” Takki flashed her status while she looked over the commandeered evidence.

Battler

Priestess of Akam

LV 9 10/1000

HP 325

Muscle 76 (+4)

Coordination 52 (+4)

Verve 50 (+8)

Sticktoitiveness 71 (+7)

Discernment 57 (+3)

Gumption 50 (+6)

Tit-for-Tat 50 (+2)

Receptivity 21

Panache 40 (+1)

Class Abilities

Battle Perception

Battle Formula

Battle Projection

Certain Opening

Pierce Through Feints

Weapon Familiarization

Monster Battle

General Abilities

Usse (Fluent)

Adaban (Intermediate)

Obaluon (Intermediate)

Halberd (Peerless)

Sling (Peerless)

Spear (Advanced)

Spear, Cavalry (Advanced)

Sword, Straight (Advanced)

Sword, Curved (Advanced)

Bow, Composite (Advanced)

Sword, Cavalry (Advanced)

Dagger (Advanced)

Mace (Advanced)

Boxing (Advanced)

Needle (Advanced)

Three-Section-Staff (Advanced)

Ax (Advanced)

Throwing Dagger (Advanced)

Bottle (Advanced)

Pot (Basic)

Table (Basic)

Rug (Basic)

Wheel, Steering (Basic)

Wheel, Wagon (Basic)

Wheel, Pottery (Basic)

Bill (Basic)

Glaive (Basic)

Staff (Basic)

Laundry Pole (Basic)

Crossbow (Basic)

Horse Riding (Intermediate)

Adroit Display

History Fundamentals

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Dirant had only gotten up to Bow, Composite (Advanced) when the bowwoman announced her findings. “This is a report on the first snowfall of the year. Mr. Dirant, how does this affect our suspects in your opinion? How much we need to suspect them I mean?”

In a business setting the step from assistant to mister was a good sign, but in the investigative world he could imagine the former to be the more intimate form of address, not to be used in front of outsiders. He had read once of an official in some vanished Mabonn state whose title carried such honor that nobody aside from the chief held the privilege of calling him by it. “It depends if said snowfall has happened already.”

“Of course it hasn't. Oh, has it snowed in Greater Enloffenkir? I'm sorry if I sounded snippy.”

“Not at all. It's only that I wanted to be sure of the sequence of events.”

“That is important.”

The other guests and the host himself came in during those clarifications. The news shook most of them, since there could no longer be any question of passing over the matter as nothing significant. Kul Puvva Kampumso became rattled to such an extent that he absented himself without a word to anyone, which seemed to be a common practice of his. The two investigators meanwhile went on as they had been, making no progress but maintaining an even emotional state. Takki retained such composure that she seemed as dignified as any statue of marble or bronze when she held out the report for Hewwikke to grab away as a poorly trained dog does a treat.

“The first snowfall? That's for the almanac. We already have a template for it. I hope nobody's wasting time on redundant work. Where did you get this?” He recalled then that he was at home with guests, not at an office surrounded by people whose material happiness depended on his. “I'd be grateful if you told me.”

Oppo Imlakke Pau, as Takki related for the convenience of the Adaban guests, stated he had seen the papers tied up in a bundle. They were on a table, perched across a few books of uneven heights and threatening to fall to the floor. He had picked up the bundle for that reason, glanced at the contents, and was so startled that he grew agitated while he told Luas Taikko Hinmi about it. What bothered him the most was that he was sure that no such papers had been on the table when he came in. He had noticed because the books seemed odd to him.

“They're odd because they're fake,” Hewwikke explained. “Proposals for new formats. Nothing in them. Look.” He tossed one to Imlakke, who confirmed for himself that past the titleless cover sat a few empty pages as an example. “I hoped this debate scam was the same, but I have to admit there's something in it after all. All right, I'm convinced, and when I'm convinced, I move. We're searching this house in pairs, and we aren't stopping till we find the culprit.” He again remembered the social environment. “Please.”

“I admire your quick, decisive action and will do my utter best to reward it.” Takki's eyes glowed like those of the sun itself or some terrible monster. “Are we all agreed as to the parameters of the search? We must search every room, every piece of furniture, every closet . . .”

Hewwikke blinked. “Wait a moment.”

“. . . the drawers, the pockets of every garment, don't forget to feel along the seams . . .”

“Carefully.”

“. . . journals, financial statements . . .”

“I meant more of a quick sweep to find an intruder. That's what I want.” Hewwikke trembled a bit, unsure how sincere or persuasive his guest was.

“That's no job for me, not in my current position, not at all. I'll let old Stippu know about it. This is more his line. Boundaries and chains of command. Thank you for the invitation, Hewwikke, and expect me to return the honor.” Civic Quartermaster Ukkip Timga Onsalkamto kept up the chatter in a most heroic fashion as he fled both the scene and his remonstrating host, who feared a worsening of the situation if the one authority figure left. He made it only so far as the entrance, however.

“Your door's sticking, Hewwikke. Better fix that.” Timga turned his head to address the Rikeltas while he tugged the door handle with increasing ferocity. “I don't know if you have this sort of regulation. Owners of permanent housing are required, not by me you understand, but by the law, to keep all portals greased up so they open and shut just like that in case the army needs to retreat into them. There must be obstructions nearby too.” He nodded at a pair of dead yet still threatening bears with claws raised, one on either side of the entrance. “Those are good. Hewwikke, I'll take this chance to thank you for your adherence to civic responsibility too and not just the dinner. What a citizen! You're a model for all of us. Why won't this open?”

By this time his attempts to open the door had descended into downright barbarism, but to no result. He desisted when Hewwikke produced the keys, standing aside and wiping his forehead. Circumstances soon gave him reason to wipe a few more times.

“It's a good thing I only invite sober, reasonable people to my private hut. You won't panic when I tell you the key melted in the lock.” Hewwikke held up the barrel of the key, which was all that was left of it.

Takki examined the remains. “That's good news. We don't have to post a watch in case anyone tries to leave.”

“Any good in that must be erased by the sure fact that the culprit surely left already. Ah, and I'm wrong again.” Dirant reached up and took hold of whatever had fallen on his head, which turned out to be a paper covered in the scribbles of some unintelligible language. As expected. He offered it to Millim Takki Atsa with a slight bow.

“Thank you, Mr. Dirant. Oh, what exciting news. 'Mosso Eksu changes name to Eksu Mosso. The citizens decided they've had enough; no more; enough; no more. When reached for comment, officials were not available for comment. “It's been a long time coming,” they commented.' It doesn't get any better as it goes on.” She handed it back.

At that point the sweep began, not in pairs as proposed but as a single group. The house was not quite so big as to require more elaborate procedures, as much as Hewwikke wanted it to be perceived as such. Neither was the situation so perilous yet as to require weaponry, but Takki fetched her halberd regardless, perhaps as a meditation aid.

Hewwikke urged the party to check the kitchen first and gather up the servants inside the main building at the time, six in all. That was done. They joined in too, since the host, guests, and servants all wanted to find the guy who was causing pages to appear out of the air faster and faster so that soon nobody could see the expensive carpets Hewwikke had gone to such trouble to acquire. Chtrebliseu to Pavvu Omme Os was a journey of nearly the entire continent, after all.

“Is anyone beginning to doubt the explicability of all phenomena without resort to the supernatural?” Dirant asked.

“That depends on what phenomena means,” Takki answered.

“Things that happen.”

“Oh. Then surely not, right? This is just magic.”

“Perhaps. Ah, and there is some further magic.” Dirant was looking through the lamentably mabonnpaperless window in one of the last upstairs rooms to be turned over while the others checked for culprits and secret passages in the wardrobe, the gap between the bed and the floor, and behind a shelf of souvenirs. It gave him a view over the estate, though a poor one, obscured by the branches and needles of an evergreen as it was. He could not be sure what the nature of the outbuilding he saw across the lawn might be because of that, but the unnatural luminescence emanating from it interested him. The others agreed when he alerted them to the eerie green thing.

“Good info to have when I tell old Stippu about this mess. He hates to have things sprung on him. Unless they're parties!” Timga's joviality sounded thin, but the fact he was back to speaking instead of merely gulping and sweating proved how far his spirits recovered upon the emergence of something resembling a clue. That glowing building might just hold the solution to stopping papers from falling like snow would in a couple months according to the almanac Kekket Ittame put out. “I'll be going now to do just that. Say, Hewwikke, is that tree climbable?”

“No. The branches are too weak. One of the servants discovered that at about the same time he discovered what doctors charge these days.”

That response caused such satisfaction in Dirant as a condottiero might feel upon infiltrating and conquering a city with only one man beside him. In his imagination he spent his next vacation in Todelk and made sure they were somewhere within hearing of an appreciative audience, that one lounge perhaps, before he told Professor Patarenk of the incident. “It was an irretrievable situation save that a Ritualist was there who had in his Ritual Memory one particular tool that solved the problem forthwith. A ritual you devised, as it happens, professor.” Then the praise for the veteran Ritualist, and how glad he would be to have it.

“Everybody's gone to break down the door, assistant. You've got a good instinct thinking the investigators should come in last, but we really do have to go.”

“Ah. I must leave the timing to you.” Dirant followed Takki out, and she never knew the sadness in his slow steps. They became even slower as the papers accumulated to form stacks higher than his ankles.