Apparently I’m now the most famous dead person since Elvis Presley. I know because Linda just screamed it in my face. Back when I was alive, I was a pretty socially awkward kid. One day in my Literature class we had to write a short letter to someone on why you admire them. It was to be sent to anyone that was not your parent. Some kids sent it to a celebrity or their sibling, however I sent it to one my fellow classmates. Her name was Ellie Fross, and it’s not like I had a crush on her, but I did admire here for her perseverance as she got her appendix removed. It just happened to be my letter that got read out to the entire class. Mrs. Mondelez thought I had shown “exceptional effort and an advanced understanding of formatting and writing letters”, which was bullcrap. I did get an A+, but every time me and Ellie are in the same room some idiot will make a stupid comment. Now I won’t go into what was in the letter, but let me tell you that 8th graders have the maturity level of a drunk 6-year old. Anyways that’s how I know how being publically humiliated for a good reason feels like.
Linda recommended to me that I should get an audience with The Council, and before I could reply she had already gone and we had no choice but to follow her. Linda, Valerie, Jeff, Stanley, and I walked down a long plush corridor towards a large oaken door guarded by a fat looking security guard reading a newspaper.
“State your business.” droned the lazy security guard.
I looked closer at his name tag and read the guard's name, Fred.
“Never mind, stop right there,” stated Fred “I really don't care, just leave now. The Council is busy right now. ”
“But I need an audience with the council!” I tried to explain.
“Nope no can do kid...” began the guard.
Linda interrupted, “This kid’s an exception. I have a level 5 security clearance. Let him in.”
“And, I have 9.8 rating!” I said trying to get past the guard.
“And, he's really derpy!” added Valerie.
“Not helping! And that is not a word!” I said glaring at Valerie. The guard peered over his glasses at us.
“I don't believe you,” He said pointedly, “before I call security that is”
“Aren't you security?” Said Valerie a bit confused.
“Oh, yeah I forgot, sometimes I do that,” said the guard who was now completely nonplussed. “Ah well anyways you can’t pass, there is no way you kids got an audience with the-”
“The council is waiting Fred,” we heard a voice say, and then the door opened. Just like that. No one had opened it by hand and no one was within 20 feet of the door. At best it was surprising, and at worst it was horror-movie creepy. Besides, who would want to talk to me so badly? Man, these people must be dumber than I thought. I gulped and looked the others. Jeff seemed blown away by the turn of events and Stanley looked back at me and shrugged.
“Yo Jeff can I go now, or should I stick around?” Stanley asked. It’s pretty late and I’m working overtime.”
Jeff promptly replied, “Ah-duh-wha?”
Stanley raised his eyebrows in confusion. “I’ll take that as a yes,” He grumbled. Stanley strolled to the elevator (I guess they have elevators in the Afturlife) and waved goodbye. His hulking body took up the entire elevator, much to the displeasure of the stuffy uptight government officials already inside.
“Thanks Stanley! Peace out dude!” Valerie called out as we headed inside the giant oak doors of the council.
I was nervous and also amused at the same time. I wonder how dumb you had to be to be in the council. Maybe one of the members had died while trying to brush teeth on the toilet. The thought it made me giggle like a five-year old. Valerie looked at me oddly. I couldn’t care less about social issues since I was dead.
As we walked past the security guard’s desk, I glanced at the security guard’s newspaper. The newspaper was called the New Dead Times, and on it, it read:
Huh, I guess even when you’re dead there’s still a lot of politics and crime. I caught up to Jeff and asked him, “Hey Jeff, what’s the Maximus Office?”
Jeff looked back at me, “It’s the main office for the Important Realm, where important people go. Why do you ask?”
“Oh… I just saw that newspaper headline, it was weird. Some guy from
the Maximus Office suddenly disappeared.”
Jeffrey looked up and for a brief second I saw panic in his face. He quickly went back to his usual business-like attitude and casually said , “Oh really? Hmm… well nobody actually disappears in the Afturlife. Usually if you’re ready to move on to the next stage, than you can go to your local government office and get a Departicket. You have to check in and than the Abyss will take you away.”
“What’s the abyss?”
“It’s whatever’s next in life. It’s, well, who really knows? Just like how nobody knows about the Afturlife when they’re living, nobody knows about the Abyss,” Jeff spoke solemnly, as if he was talking at a funeral. “Well, come now. The council’s waiting, you should focus on kinder topics,” he managed a smile, and with that, the conversation was over.
The great oak doors of the council had opened and revealed a hallway. There were multiple doors in the hallway with labels like, Abernathy Chrome: Chairman of the Twitter Counsel, and Dana Mulstein: Board of the Public Relations. However at the end of the hall, there was an enormous sign reading, Conference Room For Council Members of the Dumb Realm Only -Various Refreshments will be Provided!-
Our party was already attracting attention with its conspicuous look among the office workers. However it seemed that everyone was subdued, and as Fred the security guard knocked on the door (nervously), our small party looked at each and seemed to wonder how in the world we got here.
Valerie looked at us, took a deep breath, and shouted, “C’mon sissies! Open the friggin door already!”
I looked at her in apprehension than knocked on the door. Silence ensued for the next ten seconds. Did the council not want to see me? Was it a false alarm? Was it just a prank? Of course not, I thought reasonably. Then, the door suddenly banged open.
Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.
“Whaddya want,” a snotty nosed man with a bad comb-over snarled into Jeffrey’s face. He suddenly saw me and changed face in about a millisecond. “Oh! Mr. Peterson! Hello Hello! Come in, come in! I guess you can bring your… more unsavory companions in,” he motioned at the others.
“That’s right Jackson, me, a respected member of your office for thirty-five years, and I’m an ‘unsavory companion’. Go in Jake, there might be more honorable members of the council we can talk too,” Jeff retorted. He strided past Jackson- the bad-comb over dude- and into a stunning room. Well, no, actually it looked quite run-down. A big conference table ran down the middle of the room on it was a bowl of stale looking pretzels, well there goes my idea of nice refreshments. Seated at the table were a multitude of stuffy-looking people with placards labeling them as people such as Eric Baldwin. The room had high windows only allowing for slanted lighting, perfectly illuminating the dusty interior of the room and giving the impression of a cathedral.
Jackson briskly walked past an awe-struck Jeff and stepped onto a wooden podium. “Good evening gentleman. This boy here, is in fact…” he paused for dramatic effect. However before he could do that I walked onto the podium and nudged Jackson away. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I needed answers.
“Hi I’m Jake Peterson.” I managed to stammer out. Jackson walked back down and plopped his butt on an expensive looking chair. He sighed and looked at me like I was five, “You talk to when talked to son. This is the council of a realm you’re talking to, not a - Oh, I don’t know what you kids are into - a corner liquor store you ‘hang’ with some ‘chill’ buds.”
This guy was like my health class teacher. I'm a teenager, not some little kid! I mean, I turned 13 like two months ago! Geez dude.
“Oh give it a rest Jackson he’s only a young boy.” Said a tall woman who’s placard labeled her as Juliette. That's right Jackson! In Your face uh huh uh huh! Ok… maybe I got a bit carried away. I realized everyone was still staring at me, and now mumbling amongst themselves.
A man in the middle of table directed for his fellow council members to be quiet.
“Now that you’re done showing of your dance moves, let’s proceed with this hearing,” he said.
As he was shuffling through his papers, he peered over his glasses,
“So you're here on account that your rating is…” he paused. “ high, in most circumstances this would not be an excuse to come before the council. However it is abnormally high.” I decided I didn't like this guy. “With a rating of 9.8 you are entitled to be a honored guest. The council can’t provide you with money or special rewards, since you are still a minor. You are lucky, because the council has generously awarded you to go on a trip to see the rest of the Afturlife including all 5 sectors. It is part of our young scholars program, which has a rigorous acceptance process and is the chosen award from our council. ”
“What so I won a trip around the underworld, great.” I muttered sarcastically.
“You may also bring one friend and all expenses will be paid. Is all the information previously told understood?”
“Yeah,” was my only reply. One problem is just that, well, I don’t really have any friends yet! I just died! I mean, possibly, maybe Valerie? She’s hardly my friend though, perhaps an acquaintance, and an annoying one at that.
“Dismissed!” Was all I heard as I was showed out of the room by a guard.
Great that was the high and mighty “Council”, they were more like group of stuck-up idiots. I guess they lived dumb lives, so it makes sense that all of them acted kind of clueless. I mean, I met with them for like, two minutes and learned that two probably didn’t like me, and half of them didn’t even talk. As I walked down the hallway all I felt was a sense of sadness. I wasn’t especially close to my family, but family is family. I was starting to feel rather helpless in this new world, or secret government project. I was just a kid with no connections, how was I supposed to live in this new world all by myself? Teenagers often want more freedom, but I’m not sure that I want anymore freedom if freedom is being lost in the crazy mesh pot that is the world. Freedom? Meh, who needs freedom, when you’re happy.
“Wow! So kid who are you going to invite on your trip around the world?” says Jeffrey interrupting my brooding. “It’s a big thing you know to be invited on a tour like that, plus you can make new friends! There’s some neat kids from all the different sectors every trip.”
“Yeah, well the council made it feel like a real trip.” I muttered darkly.
“Yeah well at least you’ll be with me the dazzling Valerie!”
“Who said I was inviting you?”
“Me, duh.” Was her last comment before running ahead to look at something.
“I just hope you’re safe with all these disappearances and stuff going on, just downright fishy to me. Oops forget I said anything, nevermind.” Jeffrey said awkwardly suddenly very enamored with his boots.
Great now I'm going on a trip to who knows where with an annoying acquaintance and some random kids who with my luck are even more annoying than a certain someone. I'm looking at a trip with some monkeys a slight chance of death. Well as someone probably said, take it in stride and the monkeys hopefully won’t eat you.
“So,” I said running to catch up with Jake, “why are you so sad? You did win some stuff I mean you’re lucks been better than mine.”
“I dunno, just sad I guess. I mean we won’t get to see my old friends anymore unless they die and our family too.” He replied not really concentrated on the conversation.
“We’ll isn’t freedom what teenagers want?”
“Yeah but too much freedom is really as great as I thought.”
“I’m not saying I don’t miss my friends but cheer up we can meet new people And make new friends!”
Jake turns away clearly no longer wishing to discuss the topic. He must be suffering from depression Or some other illness meant for old people. He's just so boring and sad compared to when I first met him. Maybe he’s just dealing with the fact that he died in his own way, I mean it’s a pretty big deal!
I turn to Jeffrey asking him a question, “Why do ya think Jake is so boohoo?”
“Well some people deal with something most people around here called death-pression. It’s just depression from being dead and stuff.”
Wow guess I was right, Jake is suffering from depression, I'm gonna go tell him!