Strength +1

Stamina +1

Despite being proof of my effort, the gains in strength and stamina do little to ease my suffering. My arms burn from the overbearing weight of my borrowed halberd. The new stats ease my burden a little, but I still can’t manage to use one hand to employ it. This leaves me with my shield strapped to my back. Practically defenseless.

Ra’hel had subdued the Lich with minimal effort by keeping it from casting high powered spells with her tail. While it was distracted she encased it in a tomb of stone. Basic Geomancer stuff, apparently. In a moment of gloating she informed me that when she gets to a higher level, she’ll be able to summon rocks from the sky with matchless capabilities of destruction.

Since Ra’hel had proven she is capable of taking on a Lich, it was my turn. Several hours later, it is still my turn. With the coaching of my superiors, I have improved. Not by that much though.

Honey, seeing my predicament of being unable to defend myself, taught me how she summons and shapes water. Quinn, suggested I use ice particles to make the water into ice after shaping it. Mordai noticed me struggling under the weight of the halberd and gave me some sound advice.

‘It’s not the size that matters,’ he had said. “It is how you use it.’

Pretty solid advice from all three of them, which brings me to now. Darkness swirls around the Lich’s staff. It condenses into bolts and shoots at me as I approach. Through many painful trial and errors, I’ve come to find that those Shadowbolts explode on impact.

A globe of water condenses from the moisture in the air before me. I will it to split and spray forward, the small droplets forming a mist in front of the oncoming bolts. With a now practiced Source fluctuation, I withdraw energy from the water, snap-freezing it. I draw the energy into myself, recouping some of my losses.

I rush from behind the explosion of Shadowbolts meeting my mist/ice shield. I lean left, dodge right, and duck underneath a swing of the Lich’s staff. I proceed forward with caution, not letting myself get touched. Life Drain is no joke.

The Lich clacks in irritation. It raises skeletal hands and gathers power to summon Lesser Undead. More of those skeleton warriors from earlier. They materialize rapidly. Not yet corporeal, they charge at me. But I’m ready.

I swing from left to right. The weight of the halberd begs to continue and I don’t stop it. With carefully placed and practiced steps, I indulge in the momentum. The polearm crashes through the half-formed skeletons, dispersing them. My spinning steps advance toward the Lich, sending the axe-head of my halberd crashing into his defenseless waist. The gathered speed crashes into its unprotected spinal column, the force of the blow snapping it in half.

Recovering quickly from the spin and a half, I smash its skull, now on the ground, with the butt of my weapon.

Level up! All standard stats +1 Calculating familiar bonuses… Intelligence +1, Dexterity +1, Wisdom +1

Hours of defeat and failure. Finally, after all this effort, I have defeated the Lich. Uselessness is fading behind me. I am growing stronger!

“That move sucks,” Quinn quips.

“Do that in a real fight and you’ll die,” Honey adds.

“Nice handling of an oversized shaft!” Mordai beams, before getting socked a good one by Honey.

“It’s not my fault I’m not strong enough to use it like my spear!” I object.

“It is your fault for shattering your spear,” Honey coolly dismantles my argument. “I see that you’re getting pretty good with Ice though. Think you could manifest a spear tip?”

My Adventuring party lounges before me in a make shift camp. It had been decided we would camp here for the night and tackle the next level tomorrow. Quinn had gathered all of the Death Knight equipment into her satchel, which turns out to host a pocket dimension. All the better to a raid a dungeon with, I suppose. The bodies had been absorbed by the dungeon while I fought the Lich.

I had suggested claiming a suit of armor or great shield for myself, but Ra’hel raised a valid question before anyone else could answer.

‘Aren’t you too weak to even move in that armor? I’d also be willing to bet you couldn’t handle that shield with one hand,’ she pointed out my fragility. She was right of course, but it was still a bitter pill to swallow.

I tell myself to not dwell on the past, and instead use my current weakness as motivation to grow stronger.

In a fluid motion, I pull water into the air above my hand, shape it into a spear head, then freeze it. Honey examines my work with a discerning eye.

“Do you think you could do it faster with practice?” Honey asks.

“Probably,” I reply. “I only figured out how to do this kind of stuff today, after all.”

“Hmmm,” she ponders. After a moment, she walks over and discusses something with Quinn, who is looting the Lich. Quinn nods, agreeing to something. Quinn hands Honey the Lich’s staff. No longer pulsing with dark energy it looks almost like a normal staff, but with runes engraved on every open surface.

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“Here,” Honey hands me the staff. “Give me the halberd and use this. Run your Source through it to make casting easier. Also, if you run your Source through it when you hit something, it won’t shatter like your spear did. That’s the point of the runes.”

She must have seen my confused look at receiving something that seems so valuable because she goes ahead and continues her explanation.

“Since we’re a party we split the loot 5 ways. The rest of us are fully equipped so we are planning on selling it to the Guild. This is your share,” Honey quickly dispels my doubts.

I gratefully accept the staff, giving it a few test swings. It is not even funny how much easier it is to swing than that damn halberd. I did like the addition of the axe through… Make an ice halberd head? No. I should keep it simple. Until I can make my ice stronger I’m pretty sure it is gonna shatter a lot when I stab things. Speed of reforming the spear will be essential.

Our party shares a friendly meal around a crackling fire.  Quinn isn’t the only one with a magic bag, evidence suggests. I lay in my sleeping roll- a pad and some blankets- staring at the darkened ceiling. The fire has died down, Quinn has removed her orb of light, and the blue lights catch dim shadows around our sleeping figures.

The darkness helps me to envision my future battle plans. I call forth my status screen to get a better idea of what I’m working with.

Name: Snowflake *(Bodyrk)

Race: *Human

Title: *Snowflake

Class: None

Subclass: None

Job: None

Level: 5

Health: 99/99

Energy: 57.5/57.5

Strength: 9 (+3)

Stamina: 11 (+3)

Dexterity: 13 (+3)

Intelligence: 12 (+3)

Wisdom: 11 (+3)

*Adaptability: 5 (+1)

‘Just about as strong as a standard level 1 Awakened,’ I sigh. Not too bad I guess. At this point I’m only 5 points behind where I should be… In every stat. Twenty-points points in total. That is a hell of a lot of points. Not the original fifty I was lacking, but still.

I push the negative thoughts from my mind, refusing to deal with them. I’m exhausted from fighting all day and ready to sleep. My eyes flutter closed for what feels like just a couple seconds. Before long I am woken up by a hand over my mouth and Nevasca’s soft growling.

My eyes snap open. Quinn’s bright green eyes meet mine, a sly grin on her lips. Relaxing, I send calming images to Nevasca and ask her to stay. Nevasca gives a very unpleased huff, but I roll over to give her a kiss on the forehead and whisper my thanks. Her expressive ears betray her satisfaction as I scratch behind them. With a final whisper of farewell, I chase Quinn into the dim tunnels.

Time for the full course meal that was promised.

***

The second time I awake, I am greeted by slightly less beautiful eyes. Large yellow eyes with vertical slits peer into mine.

“Get up, buddy.” Mordai whispers. “I need to talk to you about something.”

Groaning I get up to follow. Nevasca pads along besides me, her ease with Mordai evident by her lack of growling. After leading me out the chamber and down the tunnel, out of earshot of the camp, he motions for me have a seat. With a gesture, he summons a small light above us. We sit in silence for a few minutes, side by side.

“What did you want to talk about?” I break the silence first.

Mordai hesitates, looking torn. After a moment of silence, he sighs deeply. With another deep breath, he starts to talk.

“I’m not quite sure how to say this but… Well, I got up to go to the bathroom last night. I noticed you and Quinn were both gone.” He pauses here for a few seconds before rushing forward. “Look, Snowflake. I think you’re a great guy and I would hate to see you get hurt. Quinn is married.”

Words escape me. I don’t even know what to say.

“Normally I would be the first guy to congratulate you. I don’t believe in the traditional concept of one man and one woman. But… The guy Quinn is married to is a dangerous man,” the flood gates have opened. Mordai just keeps talking, not leaving me enough time to process. “Everybody knows their relationship is no good. Quinn has tried to get out before, but any men who associated with her started to disappear. It is a messy thing that most people try not to get involved with.”

A pause in the torrential flood that is my world crashing around me. Mordai stops talking. His piece said. Nevasca sense my distress and leans against me. Trying to give me comfort.

“Why?” I asked, my voice cracking under the weight of the words.

Mordai doesn’t respond, probably because he didn’t know how to. I try to rephrase my question.

“Why did he get away with it?” The sentence seems to move at the pace of molasses.

“He is the Guild Enforcer,” Mordai replies simply. “Him and his team squash most rebellions before they start. Their word is Law unless you want to be wiped out. No one wants to risk their dreams.”

My mind races, but without new information it just goes in circles. My negative emotions feed on each other in a brutal cycle. Hurt. Betrayal. Jealousy. Fear. Anger. So much anger.

With a whispered apology, Mordai leaves me alone to my thoughts. The orb of light flickers above my head, the only light in my darkness.

How could she do this to me?! I thought we had something special! I need answers! No.

No. I can’t approach her like this. I’m too angry. But I deserve to be angry! She needs to know how I feel!

But fighting won’t help anything. She must have her reasons. I mean, she likes me, right? She wouldn’t hurt me on purpose.

Or would she?

My negative emotions burn inside, threatening to consume me. My rationality is like a row boat upon the oceans of my rage. It could capsize at any moment. Another emotion worms its way into the explosive cocktail that is me. I’m afraid of myself. Afraid of what I might do.

I need to cool off and talk to Quinn. I need to get rid of all this negative energy. Cool off. Negative energy. I need to… A spark of an idea lights up inside me. Curled up against the wall of the dimly lit tunnel, as if in great pain, I cup my hands. A tiny wisp of flame is born.

“Cold is created by taking the energy out of something,” I recite my mantra. “Cold is created by taking the energy out of something.”

Nevasca whines. My distress upsetting her.

I close my eyes, sensing the negative emotions inside of me. I feel them. I experience them in their entirety. In my mind, I give them shape. I pull them out from within me, focusing on the images I gave them. In my mind, I feed them to the flame in my hand.

The process helps me to calm down, I can feel myself becoming more rational. Taking deep breaths, I focus on not over reacting. I need to talk to Quinn before I do or say anything I can’t take back.

With one final breath, I steel my determination and open my eyes. In my hands rages a black flame tinged with red. It burns silently, ominous in every way. With just a glance I know that I hold something of great destructive power in my hands. Rage and betrayal given shape, these flames have unparalleled capacity to do harm.

I have no idea what the fuck to do with this shit. Honestly, I thought I was just doing a mental exercise. Fuuuuuuuuck. Well, I can’t take it with me, I refuse to put it back in my body, and I don’t know how to put it out.

I gather up the flames into an orb and shoot it down the tunnel in the opposite direction of my party. I determine to find out how to weaponize that later, but right now I need to talk to my ‘lover.’ The ball of silent black flames forgotten, I march down to the chamber to have a conversation with Quinn, Nevasca at my side.

Behind me the dim lights along the tunnel walls go dark. One by one.