A groan rips through me. That didn’t go very well. All that bullshit for the ability to evolve. Fucking stupid. Why did I want to evolve, anyway? I can feel the answer to that question hiding behind a fog in the back of my mind, but I ignore it. I was a Demon Lord! Top of the food-chain! Now I’m a freaking human.

On the bright side, this breeze sure feels nice.

There he stands. Our hero. His chest thrust out to meet the adventure of a new world. His remarkedly average features on full display to the world around him. Penis flapping in the wind, as if to say, “I’m here.” A babe born to this world, but a hero nonetheless.

What the hell was that! A deep and oddly majestic voice resounds through my thoughts. I open my eyes to look around for this person.

Around me I see a city square of some sort. Towers and buildings of various architectural designs surround me and carry on into the distance. The bizarreness of the clashing styles attracts my attention. Each of them is full of artistic style, but there is no uniformity. It makes me think, maybe each of them has cultural and design significance from different places. A refreshing change from the monotony of my old world.

I focus on my immediate surroundings. The plaza is large. Many merchants have stalls selling various things around the outer edges. Humanoids of many shapes and sizes wander the area. A feeling of liveliness permutates the market. The variety of people here is amazing. Fantasy creatures of all sorts. Hell, I don’t even know the racial names for half of them, but almost all of them carry an aura of competence. Monsters, mixed with humans. Humans, mixed with creatures born of magic. Beast-kin, undead, elves, angels, demons. You name it, I see it.

A lot of them are staring at me.

In the middle of the square is a massive fountain depicting a single dragon, but in 4 different ways. Perhaps they had 4 different artists to a rendition of the same dragon? Each one is facing a different way so North, West, East, and South?

Our curious hero surveys his surroundings, lost in thought. Little did he know that the voice he heard was all in his head.

The voice again! My life has had a lot of disembodied voices recently.

“Who are you?” I say out loud.

I am your Narrator. I have been assigned to you for the duration of your adventure. Although, judging from your status, I don’t think our journey together will be very long.

Status? What Status? Why do I need a Narrator? And what was that one about penis flapping in the wind a second ago? That last one is probably important. I tear my eyes away from the fountain and look down at my feet. I’m standing on a raised platform. My feet are bare and… Yup. Naked.

Glancing to my left I see a gnome under a sign gawking at me. I look up at the sign, which reads Welcome Hero to Destiny. Either Destiny is the name of the city, or that is one cheesy sign. Turning my eyes back down to the gnome, we lock gazes. His eyes are glazed in shock and his jaw hangs loose. Poor guy needs to get out more. See some more naked people that talk to themselves. It is completely normal.

Alright. Plan of attack. If the guy in my head is gonna be with me for a while I can grill him for information later. I’m betting that the guy under the Welcome banner will have some vital information.

Not breaking eye contact with the gnome, I clap my hands loudly. That seems to snap him out of it. Having the dignity to look embarrassed, he blushes and looks away. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and centers himself. Mr. Gnome straightens his fancy looking vest, makes a grimace of determination, and grabs what appears to be a gnome sized blanket, as he strides in my direction.

 With a forced chuckle he approaches me, every inch the ideal image of a kindly middle aged merchant.

“I’m sorry about that friend. It’s just that we don’t get many people here arriving without their starting equipment!” With a sincere attempt to smooth over the situation he hands me the blanket. “I’m sure you must have a lot of questions. My name is Tyken. I’m here to guide you to the Guild. The Guildmaster will have some answers for you.”

“Is the Guild like an Adventurer’s Guild?” I ask as I wrap the gnome-sized blanket around my waist, fashioning a make-shift skirt.

“Mhmm,” he replies. “There used to be plenty of guilds around here. Mage’s Guild. Hero’s Guild. Villain’s Guild. Really any guild you could think of. They ended up consolidating due to some… circumstances.”

Seeing he is hesitant to explain, I decide not to push my luck. After all, I’m desecrating this poor man’s blanket.

Flashing a smile, he waves and indicates I should follow him. I take my very first step in this world, and instantly regret it. I stumble and fall. My legs feel like jelly. Am I not actually human, but in fact a slime? Why am I so weak?

Our mighty hero take his first step towards his destiny. Everything he had ever dreamed of lay before him! All he could ever imagine lay before him. All he must do is reach forth and grab it!

Unfortunately, he is pathetically weak. Can’t grab anything with noodle fingers.

I push off the ground a curse vehemently bursts from my lips, directed at my so-called Narrator. As far as I can tell, no one else hears him. Is his only purpose to mock me?!

“Are you okay?” The gnome rushes to my side and helps me to my feet.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just gotta find my sea legs.” I assure him with a wry smile.

He gives me a shoulder to lean on, and so we made our way through the square in an odd fashion. A weak human using a gnome as walking stick, an interesting sight no doubt. Passing in front of some buildings, I catch sight of a massive structure. It pierces through the sky, sanding straight and tall, parting the clouds. The splendor of the building is not graceful. It is challenging. This tower dares the world with its arrogance. It cares not what mortals think of it. It is a monument of power.

Stolen novel; please report.

“Beautiful.” The word slips through my lips and out into the atmosphere, as if it was stolen by the wind. I gape in awe at the structure before me in all its glory.

“I see you’ve met the Dungeon,” the kindly gnome chuckles. “Your first real challenge will be to defeat that thing. When the Guild decides you’re ready, they’ll let you in. The romantics call it ‘The First Step to Destiny.’”

“First step?” I echo in a daze.

“It is common knowledge around here that the adventure only truly begins after the dungeon is conquered. Come on, the Master will tell you more.” The gnome urges me.

Excitement bubbles inside me like a spring. After so long alone I’ll be able to have adventures. I’ll defeat challenging opponents. I’ll build a team of skilled comrades to conquer the tribulations of this world. This is what I was made for. Everything is looking up!

Achievement Unlocked: Weakest Awakened- Be the Awakened with the lowest starting stats. Adaptability +1

My hopes come crumbling down before my eyes. We had made our way to the grand structure that is the Guild Head Quarters. In the lobby, I had been asked to put my hand on a crystal and flow my ‘energy’ into it. The results lay intangibly right before my eyes. Read it and weep indeed.

Name: Snowflake *(Bodyrk)

Race: Human

Title: *Snowflake

Class: None

Subclass: None

Job: None

Health: 20/20

Energy: 5/5

Strength: 1

Stamina: 1

Dexterity: 1

Intelligence: 1

Wisdom: 1

*Adaptability: 1

Alright. Alright. Don’t panic. Maybe everybody starts with stats this bad. That doesn’t explain the name change. With hopes of an explanation, I focus on the Title with that bears my new name.

Snowflake: A special title. Effects are as follows: Sets all stats to minimum amounts. Creates Adaptability Stat. Permanently sets character name to Snowflake to constantly remind him that he is an annoying, demanding piece of shit. This is punishment for making life harder just so he can be a “Unique Snowflake.”

Wow. That first disembodied voice didn’t like me very much. I don’t even know how to react to this right now. Let’s check out that Adaptability Stat to take my mind off the things I can’t change.

Adaptability: Gives the chance to evolve at set stages. Available evolutions are based on level of stat as well as earned achievements and titles. The Adaptability Stat increases with each Title and Achievement earned.

That’s not too bad! I can evolve just by earning some achievements. Things are looking up. I mean, personally I think that being able to rock a blanket as a skirt should count as an achievement, but who am I to judge.

Avoiding the pitying gaze of the secretary who had glanced over a piece of paper with a copy of my status on it, I turn to my gnomish friend. His face looks very not good. Avoiding my gaze, he hurries me up the stairs to my appointment with the Guildmaster.

Despite his weak frame, our hero takes firm and measured strides. He ascends a spacious staircase made of a rich, lacquered wood with gold inlay. This grand staircase, inside an even grander building, reeks of money. An institution with this much influence may have the key to his problems. Or so he hopes.

Reaching the apex of his ascent, our protagonist slumps against a wall. Knowing that first impressions are important, he is desperate to catch his breath before entering that room. Eyes cast towards the fanciful double doors that lay in front of him, he grits his teeth. Mustering his courage, he lays a hand on the doors. With all his feeble might he pushes the door open, towards his fate.

I guess Mr. Narrator isn’t so bad. I do everything he says I do, albeit, less poetically.

On the other side of the door I see a massive desk, backlit by floor to ceiling windows. The Dungeon and city on full display, I study the man in front of me. He leans back in his chair. A heavy-set man practically dripping in finery. In his hand is a sheet of paper I recognize, along with one I don’t. My status sheet and what looks to be a report on me.

He turns to face me with a big smile. Addressing me directly he calls out, “Snowflake! Welcome to my city. The city of Destiny! Come here! Grab a seat. We have a lot to discuss you and I.”

Inwardly groaning at the new name, I sit on a conveniently placed chair opposite him. The desk between us, he leans forward. My my my. What a toothy smile.

With a toothy smile of my own I introduce myself. “Nice to meet you sir, my name is Snowflake. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

“Yes. Mr. Snowflake. My name is of no importance. You may call me what everyone else calls me around here. Guildmaster. Or just Master is fine.

Here is the long and short of it, Snowflake. You are the weakest Awakened I’ve ever seen. Normally we offer to help adventurers such as yourself along their way with a little give and take. Unfortunately for you I can’t offer that deal to you.

You see, most adventurers come equipped. They have decent stats and can start working straight away. After passing a test we allow them to enter the dungeon with an approved of party. You, on the other hand, are a liability.” His smiled barely wavered as delivered all this bad news to me. I get the feeling he has me over a barrel. Metaphorically, of course.

Waiting a moment for the gravity of the situation to sink in the Guildmaster continues. “It isn’t all bad news, adventurer. I am willing to clothe, shelter, equip, and train you. I am, however, a business man. What I ask in return is that you pay back your debt plus a nominal fee. A successful adventurer profits the guild in and of themselves.

The Guild will take 50% of your quest profits until your debt is paid. Ideally, you’ll pay off the debt within, say, the next year? Shouldn’t be too hard for a determined man such as yourself.” He pulls a short stack of papers out of a drawer and places them before me.

I scan the documents, looking for any way in which I could get royally screwed. It seemed on the up and up. Market prices for food, shelter, equipment, and training. Invoices to be included. I was surprised by the ability to purchase books on skills and source usage on credit, but that was about it.

I stare the Guildmaster straight in the eye and speak my mind. “I don’t like it. I’ll do it, but I won’t be happy about it.” Hesitating, I add, “I do appreciate the straightforward deal though. Where do I sign?”

“Good good good!” The Guildmaster booms. “We need more like you around here. Blunt and honest folk.”

He pulls out a small knife and hands it to me. Seeing the questioning look on my face he points to the paper. “Put a drop of your blood on the paper. Press down on it with your thumb. While your thumb is still pressing against the paper put some of your energy into it. Just like the crystal downstairs.”

I do as he says. Be it from the loss of blood or the use of whatever force he referred to as ‘energy’, I swoon. He hurriedly calls for some people to take me down to my quarters.

If I had turned back to take a final glimpse before the doors swung shut behind me I may have seen an entirely different side of the jovial man. The tower behind him would’ve cast an ominous shadow into the room and his smile would no longer have seemed overly friendly. It would’ve seemed gloating. Gloating and hungry.