“From the morning, when the children hastened to eat at the table, I refused to join them.

“I stayed by my black bear looking at it sometimes hug it, or lay by its side. It consoled me, gave me relief from everything rather than from the children, teachers, toys, dolls all of it. I never left my black bear, it was all I had as my only partner, no one else.

“Eventually, even the housemaids began to ignore me. Due to my weird complexion, they didn’t care if I have eaten anything or if I was thirsty. Neither they would care for my neatness nor the cleanness of my bed.

“I was ignored due to which I detested everything. I didn’t like the things around me, it drove me mad. I disliked talking to all.

“On the other hand, if anyone would see me like this they would call me a dumb kid with no head or thoughts and would say to just ignore him aside. Even though, I was a child I had emotions. Not like other children of the same ages they would learn the feelings like fear, happiness, excitement, joy, sadness however, this was different for me.

“Watching the other children I was entirely a different book. I knew hate, fear, kindness, enjoyment, happiness, sadness, anger, benevolence, all these surprisingly evolved within me at a very young age.

“Although I spoke poorly but, I could feel well. I could sense the emotions and feelings that others had for me. Without the slightest movement of their lips, I was able read them all.

“A child can feel the inner feelings of others clearly and well before their voice start malfunctioning in their throat. I was like the declaration, I didn’t talk but, I could feel well. It was horrible to meet all these dark feelings for the first time and when a person is alone with no one to support you it makes you tear up and cry.

“Since I was an orphan with no one to support me, neither from the front nor the rear, I had to struggle with all these feelings for a week when they grew within me for the first time.

“With only one question in my head, I had to fight to know why was this happening.

“Sitting on my bed and watching the kids play, I used to wonder why were they all leaving me.”

This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

Why am I not among them?

Why can’t I join them?

Why should I be ignored?

Why do they hate me?

When a child passed by, I’d think, Will he come for calling me?

Will he come to me?

Won’t he take me along?

“And when a sister glared at me and left away with the others, I wondered why did she look at me like that.”

What did I do?

Why does she hate me?

Why can’t I be loved like everyone else?

How can I be like them?

“More than anything, I loathed looking at the mirror, knowing that I was a different being. I hated myself. I hated my reflection. Because of my complexion, this world never agreed with me.

“You know it kind of hurts when you think about a small child wondering this way. They are just new to this world, and they have to encounter dark feelings. Normally, this feeling is developed when a child is almost a teenager—however, for my life, it had been right at the beginning of the page.

“It’s not easy to live that way, Ramic. You may think a person may grow up to live in it, get used to the treatment, and become a man but, I say it’s wrong and not always like that. We humans have limits in our patience and behavior.

“And so it was for me while I lived in that orphanage. Even though I wasn’t a human being, I shared the same feelings.

“There was one thing that was in my side, something that I felt happy about. Though I was kept aside, I was permitted to go where I desired.

“In that orphanage, I was allowed to eat in groups at the dining hall, sit with the other students in a classroom while sitting at the back seat, and was allowed to leave the room to the courtyard as I just sat in the corner, watching all the children with the other nurses, playing different kinds of games among themselves.

“No one had the interest to ever call me into the game. It made me cry at times, but I grew accustomed to it most of the time. It got so common that it no longer bothered me, even though I was only three.

“That cruel way was written well of me. It was an everyday fact—I understood their attempts to me and what they felt for me. But none of that mattered to me. People shall always remain this way, no matter how loyal and friendly you are. Their ignorance hurt me sometimes.

“After that, I began to remain silent, making this silence my best partner. That was the only thing I could do—I would speak to no one, I would ask no more, neither greet any child. I decided to stay tight-lipped.

“On the other hand, my silence taught me a lot. I learned during the age lessons and more than that in my state.

“For instance, names of the months around us, the weather, time, tables of math, countries around the world—going deeper, I learned the body organs, their features, and all their names by seeking from the corner into classes thrice greater than mine.

“I don’t know why, but I could learn a lot faster than any child around my age. What’s more—my stay under the hospitality of the orphanage was just three years.

“Believe it or not, sitting here beside you, I remember everything, every second and every minute of that I spent in those four years, adding the one during infancy. It’s all clear, as though…not a day but a minute has gone by for it to happen."