I wish I could tell you that I had ample time to describe my current surroundings but I can't because I’M ABOUT TO SH*T MYSELF INTO OBLIVION.

“LUTHER. I NEED RESTROOM NOW!” I scream.

He’s right next to me on the carriage talking to a guard about the supplies he brought in. He turns to me.

“What's wrong my friend? You need to partake in relieving?” he inquires.

“DSLJFLKDSHOEIJFLKDSHKS YESSSSS.”

“Very well! We shall find the nearest restroom inside the city. But first, I need to fill out these forms,” he tells me.

I sit there while the guard hands him a quill and some forms. Ten minutes pass. This is torture. I think my bowels are about to explode. There’s absolutely no way I’m allowing myself to walk around in another world with excrement in my pants.

“LUTHER! HOW MUCH LONGER?” I yell with just a teeny bit of urgency in my voice.

“Not much longer my friend, I just finished the first part. I should be done in about two more hours,” he says confidently.

Oh, hell no, I gotta go now. I jump off the wagon and sprint inside the city. A guard tries to stop me but I grab him and throw him behind me. We’re on an incline, so that guard is now rolling down the base of a mountain.

“AHHH. OW OW OW OW,” I hear him scream as he bounces his way down.

Whatever, I’ll apologize later—I need a bathroom. I’m in some plaza with a fountain in the middle, and the place is really crowded. This place also looks like it has money because the ground is made out of cobblestone and the buildings here are tall and made of stone. I’m running and pushing a bunch of people out of the way. I think I just threw a guy into the fountain. Ok now I just pushed a child out of the way, but hey—I’m the one in trouble here. I see a fancy sign that says “potions and herbs” so I sprint in there.

“EHRLKHGLKEJFLKJSF BATHROOM?” I ask.

I’m about to die if no one here directs me to a bathroom, then I’m shitting in the square, I don’t care anymore. The girl behind the desk has brown hair in a french braid. Wait, France isn’t a place here, so what would that hairstyle be called? Wait, I don’t have time to care about that. She also has round black glasses, freckles and seems to be holding a potion.

“Ugh there’s one to the left but they’re for paying customers only. HEY, WAIT!”

I stop listening as I run to my right and barge into the bathroom.

Oh thank God at least the bathrooms here are the same back home. It seems the only difference is that the toilet paper is brown? That’s weird, but hey, a toilet’s a toilet. I finally relieve myself when I hear the girl outside yelling at me.

“Hey, get out of there! You gotta pay for something to use the bathroom here you freeloading foreigner!” she angrily yells.

I hear someone else enter and it turns out to be Luther. I guess he must have been following me since I single handedly stormed the city and shoved like 20 people out of the way. Oh and threw that guard down the base of a mountain.

“Young shopkeeper, have you seen my friend, Kaneki? He needed to use the restroom,” he states.

“Yeah the asshole is inside my bathroom. I hope you’re gonna buy something on his behalf or else I’m calling the guards,” she asserts.

“Ah I am afraid I have no money on me. How about I take you on a date later tonight my queen?”

“Ew. Just take your friend and get out of my shop. I don’t have time to deal with buffoons.” she says.

I finish my business and exit the bathroom, getting a mean look from the girl. I leave with Luther and I can take in more of my surroundings. Besides the cobblestone streets and stone buildings I see that this place has light posts and trees about. In the distance I see a huge castle. This capital must be freaking huge because that castle has to be about 50 miles away and it’s even higher up the mountain.

It’s looking down on the whole city. I also see a bunch of faces carved into the mountain right next to the castle. I see the face of the loli goddess as one of them and three more faces to her left. The one right next to hers was also a young girl’s face. I can’t give many details about the face given that all the faces are gray. I can tell it's female while the other two I descry are male. One is older, the other younger, the latter almost looking like a child.

“My friend, it has occurred to me that if your friend is here he may be at the castle. He must be causing quite a stir with the emperor and the lords for they did perform the ritual today. Perhaps they are there waiting for you. I still have to finish those forms but the least I can do is escort you there,” he tells me.

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“Yeah thanks Luther. You’ve been a great help.”

At first, I was really put off by this guy, but he really is a decent person. At least to males, this guy seems like a living nightmare to all women.

“Why of course. We are friends and I would never abandon my friend in a metropolis he’s never been in,” he says.

Luther and I start walking out of the plaza into what I think is a magical farmer’s market. The street is full of vendors on both sides of the street trying to sell things.

“Get your dragon stew here!” I hear to my left.

Jesus, this really is a fantasy world. Hope I don’t have to deal with a dragon.

“Come to me I’ll enchant or fix any weapons or armors you got. We got a 15% off special today!” A guy’s voice says to my right.

Some of this stuff looks really cool if I had any money. Suddenly. Luther stops walking. I turn around and see him breathing very heavily.

“Ugh, Luther? Are you ok?” I ask.

“M-m-m-my love. . . Marianne,” he whispers, pointing forward.

Ahead there’s a woman surrounded by people. She has silver knight armor on but isn’t wearing a helmet like Luther. She’s tall too—even taller than me. I’m 6’1 and this girl seems to be about 6’3. This is in weird contrast to Luther who is actually pretty short in comparison now that I got a better look at him. He seems to be about 5’7. The tall woman has long black hair that goes down to her waist and dark blue eyes with a round face. A blue cape dangles down to her waist as well. Most surprisingly, she has a huge lance on her back that’s almost as big as her. If I tried to carry it, I’d be sure to fall over. She’s kneeling down, talking to a little girl.

“Miss Marianne when I grow up, can I be a knight like you?” she asks.

“Of course you can, Lucy. You gotta make sure to study real hard in school, ok? I’ll be waiting for you when you grow up. I’ll teach you a few things,” she responds to the girl, giving her a wink plus a pat on the head.

“Hey Marianne, can you give me an autograph?” A guy says as he hands her a poster of what I think is of her?

She must be a really popular imperial knight.

“Of course no problem,” she says as she grabs it and takes out a quill.

She signs it and looks up, noticing Luther and I. I have never seen a person’s face go from jovial to sheer terror within less than a second.

“NO NO NO NO NO! LUTHER, YOU STAY BACK THERE!” she commands.

“My love, I have returned from my mission!” Luther claims with pride.

“Did you read the note I gave you before you left? Please, say you did.”

“Yes my love, of course I have.”

“And? Did you learn anything?”

“Of course, my love! I have learned that your love for me has grown tenfold since I left. Now, I will embrace you given how long I have been not by your side,” Luther says.

He walks towards Marianne, passing the crowd.

“Wow, I didn’t know you had a boyfriend, Marianne,” says the little girl from before.

“HE’S NOT MY BOYFRIEND! LUTHER, YOU STAY AWAY FROM ME!” Marianne exclaims.

She freaking bolts so quickly that she kinda launches everyone near her into the air.

“Ah My Marriane, if you wished to embrace in private you could have just said so!” Luther hollers as he bolts after her, sending everyone around him, including me, into the air.

I get up and realize that Luther straight up abandoned me. Didn’t he literally just say he wouldn’t abandon me in a strange metropolis? I guess I’m gonna walk to the castle by myself. Dang, it’s getting kinda late, it's dusk now. The streets are cast in an orange glow. People slowly start to retreat into their homes but there’s a considerable amount still around, trying to take advantage of the shorter lines. I start making the surprisingly long journey till someone grabs my shoulder and turns me around. It’s the guard I’m pretty sure I threw down the mountain. More guards stand threateningly behind him.

“Hey,” he growls.

“Hey, what’s up man?” I say nonchalantly.

“You’re under arrest, asshole, for illegally entering the imperial capital—and for assault when you shoved all those innocent people out the way,” he states.

“...Nah that wasn’t me man. I’m um……..F*CK THE POLICE”

I shove him back and start running.

This is fine. I’m running in a large walled metropolis with about ten guards chasing me and I have no idea where I’m going. It’s not like going to the castle is going to help me. If anything, I’m running towards where they keep prisoners. I push down boxes hoping it’ll slow them down. I crash into an apple stand and fall down. I quickly get back up and as I’m sprinting, glance behind me to see some of the guards trip and fall on the apple, while others leap over their compatriots to continue the pursuit.

I frantically push more people out the way and put other obstacles in their path, such as throwing random stuff I could find, like a shield being sold and some more people. Right when I think I’m gonna lose them I feel very cold and slow down. With shivering teeth I look down and see that I’m being frozen. What!? I’m slowly getting encased in frost till I’m frozen in a block of ice. Though coming in muffled, I hear voices behind me.

“Thanks for the help, knight. Take him to the castle’s dungeons,” a guard behind me orders.

Everything is starting to black out. I think the cold is making me lose consciousness.

“AHAHAH WHA THE FUH JUST HAPPENED” I say as I regain consciousness, jumping up straight.

I look around me and the ice is gone like it was never there. I’m in a jail cell. Dang I just got here and I’m already arrested. I really hope Will is here to bail me out. Actually, maybe he won’t—he might just laugh at me for getting arrested a day into entering a new world. I really hope he’s in this stupid capital to get me out of here.