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Chapter 16.75: A Shotgun Wedding?

Ok, so my plans for today are, (in order of most important to least) one: convince Lilith’s grandfather to allow her to join my party, two: not die when he says no and defy him, three: get revenge on Quincy since he keeps pestering me with history knowledge by making him try a really spicy mushroom dish I found in the market.

Little did I know that all of those plans were going to succeed that day, however some were not in the way that I would have hoped.

I decide to go meet up with Quincy and Lilith after my daily training with Armstrong and Vasavir. Hopefully with Quincy’s extensive knowledge on historical treaties and debates he can help with convincing Lord Borin.

“Hey you two, are you ready to go talk with grandfather?” Lilith says as she runs up the road to greet us.

“Yep, I’ve got one plan today--and I’m pretty sure it’ll succeed,” I say as I greeted her.

Surprisingly she’s not dressed in her usual suit of armor, but rather a pretty dress and a nice pair of sandals. She looks really good today. I wonder if she’s got a date tonight or something. Either way it doesn’t matter to me as long as the negotiations go well. Although I wonder why the outfit she’s wearing goes well with the imperial suit she told me to wear today.

Quincy seems to notice this as he comments

“Wow, are you two going on a date or something? You look nice.”

I am? Is this what this is for? I’m not mentally prepared for that.

“No. It’s just to look good in front of grandfather. We’ve got to make a good impression after all,” she responds.

Oh right, right, obviously. There’s no way in hell I’d be good enough for someone like her.

As we walk up to her estate Lilith notices the dumbfounded looks on our faces.

“What? It’s not that great, it’s just your regular old mansion,” she says assuredly.

“Regular old mansion, my ass. This place is HUGE!” Quincy says astoundedly.

“Well, you two get to live in the same castle as the emperor so it’s not as if you're lacking in luxury,” she responds.

“I know but damn. This place almost looks bigger than the palace of Versailles,” I say.

“What’s the palace of Versailles?” she asks in confusion.

“Oh, um, yeah, it’s just an estate fit for the ruler of a nation, not a big deal after all, right,” I say sarcastically.

Then again her grandfather is the lord of Dreden so it's not as if it's not appropriate. As we enter the estate we are greeted by a fancy looking butler with a mustache.

The butler does a bow and greets us,

“Ahh greetings my lady--ah, and the young heroes as well. The lord is expecting you two.”

Man, this place looks even better than the palace of Versailles. That palace had golden everything, but this place takes the motif and ups it by a notch. Everything is so shiny I might get a headache. The butler takes us to a small room where we are told to wait until the lord arrives. A few servants come by and offer us some tea in the meantime.

After 15 minutes pass, the lord arrives along with two imperial knights. One of them is the knight Marianne and the other is a knight that won’t blink for some reason. That’s kinda creeping me out. Quincy looks as if he recognizes both of them. The second imperial knight just stares at Quincy and continues to not blink. I wonder what the relationship is between those two.

The lord sits on the couch in front of us and speaks,

“Greetings heroes and good morning to you as well, my granddaughter. Now what was it that you announced so fervently that could affect our future and very nation?”

Wow, it seems like she made up a rather passionate excuse to get him to meet us today.

“Yes, grandfather, I have gathered us all here today to tell you the great news. As of today, Will and I are officially engaged,” Lilith says passionately.

Hearing this causes both me and Quincy to end up spitting out our tea. WHAT?! She didn’t tell me about this beforehand. This was not the plan. The plan was to ask him to allow her to join my party, when he says no defy him, and not die. Hearing this news, he starts to cry very passionately almost as if he’s happy. Wait what, what’s going on? I should be getting a sword through the chest right now shouldn’t I?

“Oooh, my granddaughter, you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear such news! Truly this is news that could affect the empire itself. Finally getting married after rejecting so many of the mates I have set up for you. Even better getting married to a hero as well. This union could put our house as the strongest and most powerful in the world,” her grandfather says with glee.

“But let me have a moment of rest. I need time to calm down after such excitement, it's not good for the heart at my age after all.”

All this isn’t good for my heart either.

“In that case, please let me have a word with my fiance,” I say right as I pull Lilith out of the room and into a nearby closet where no one can hear us.

“What the hell are you doing! This is not the plan,” I stress.

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Lilith responds in a kind tone,

“It’s okay, if he believes we are getting married then he’ll have to let me join your party. Just go along with it for now. Please, you have no idea how badly I want to go on an adventure without constantly being babied by imperial knights.”

“W-wait, but this is marriage. Should you be signing yourself away with something so serious? What about all those other people your grandfather tried to have you marry? Shouldn’t you be getting married to someone you actually like?” I stammer.

“Please, anyone grandfather thinks is a good match for me is just some aristocratic boy who would make our family more powerful with our union, never anyone who would actually be interested in me for who I am,” Lilith responds.

Hearing that actually makes me feel kind of sad for her, but still, there could be serious consequences to this decision.

“But ther-” I try to argue back but Lilith interrupts me.

“But what! Are you implying that I’m not good enough for you?”

“It’-It’s not that, but shouldn’t people that get married actually like each other?” I say as my face starts to redden.

“What do you mean by that? Oh,” she mutters.

I think she understands exactly where this is going as her face begins to redden as well. There’s this moment of awkward silence as neither of us have the guts to say anything. Why did I choose the closet to have this conversation? It's so hot in here I feel like my face is burning.

Lilith is the first to break the silence,“W-Well of course I like you, but as a friend—as a friend, you hear me. This is only a facade we’re putting on to fool my grandfather. Nothing more, nothing less.”

After our little argument we walk back into the room with Lord Borin and sit down on the couch, however neither of us can look each other in the face right now.

All of a sudden he speaks up,

“So when can I expect the wedding? I must make this the grandest occasion possible.”

I quickly come up with some random idea as I say,

“Y-yes, well you see, my lord, we plan on delaying the wedding til some unbeknownst time as I wish to gain more fame throughout the empire. Then we will announce our marriage.”

“Ahh I see. You’re already making political moves at such a young age. Such an action would allow you to garner a large amount of attention. This may be the biggest event since the emperor got married. Excellent. You truly may be the one to succeed me and rule our empire one day,” he claims.

“This all makes me truly happy. Is there anything else that you desire? I must give a gift to congratulate you two on your engagement.”

Taking advantage of this opportunity Lilith announces,

“Actually grandfather, there is one thing I do desire. I wish to accompany Will on his journey to save the world and I do not wish to be constantly escorted by your knights. Nothing could possibly make me happier.”

“Hmmmm, Lady Marianne do you believe that Lilith is capable of handling herself in a fight?” he says as he looks to the imperial knight with a large Lance on her back.

She answers dutifully,“My Lord, your granddaughter is one of the finest swordsmen in the capital and I can completely vouch for her ability in combat. She has single handedly defeated some of our best knights and is actually responsible for training our young hero in the art of the sword as well.”

“Is that so? In that case, William it is time for you to take the oath of my house or die here on the spot,” he claims.

Lady Marianne takes her lance and points it right at my face. What’s going on? I thought we gained his approval by now? Quincy just stares at us in disbelief not knowing what the heck is happening. The lord stands up and the room begins to glow.

The Lord directs his gaze at me “Do you vow to devote your life to justice and to protect all that are in need?”

Ok now I kinda understand what’s going on here.

“I do!” I respond.

“Do you swear to protect my granddaughter at all costs and keep her from harm?”

“I swear!” I state.

The lord demands,“Do you have the resolve to overcome any hardship regardless of the difficulty?”

“I do!” I claim.

He finishes off the oath with, “In that case, I, Lord Borin, hereby proclaim you, William, to be not only an adventurer—but a member of House Vitalis. Rejoice, for you now are considered a member of my family and I give you permission to take Lilith on your quest.”

The room stops glowing and Lady Marianne puts away her lance relieved that the Lord finally relented. Lilith looks at me with a look of such joy and hugs me tightly.

“Thank you, grandfather, know that I will always return here safe and sound,” Lilith promises.

“Haha, you better or I will have your fiance’s head,” the Lord laughs.

Honestly I don’t know whether all of this is going to be a good thing for my future or not. Probably not. I swear I’m going to end up suffering the negative consequences of this act sooner or later.

The lord speaks up and says,

“As you know, my granddaughter can be quite a handful at times so do take utmost care. I expect you two to share the same bed, eat together, bathe together and ...”

The lord starts spouting a lot couple nonsense that is starting to make Lilith and I very uncomfortable. I need to find an excuse to leave right now. Ah I got it. I make a few hand signals to Quincy in the hopes that he receives my message. I make a clap, followed by a peace sign, followed by an okay sign, and finally a military salute.

For some reason, Quincy acknowledges this—and checks to see if his zipper is down. Did I make the wrong hand signals? Oh right those meant that your underwear is showing, well his are but that’s not what I intended. I quickly remember the correct signals that state that we need to leave right now, I make an x with my arms, followed by a guy running, and an explosion sign.

Luckily my message goes through and Quincy stands up and announces,

“Ehem, my lord I understand that today has been a rather exciting and prospective day, but unfortunately, Will and I are desperately needed at the castle soon so we must bring this meeting to a close.”

“I see in that case I mustn’t hold you here. Also what has been discussed here shall not leave this room as the timing of such an event must be kept secret,” the lord points out.

After we leave the mansion and meet up with the rest of our party, we head to the market to find something to eat. I decide it’s time to put plan number three into action.

“Guys, there’s this great restaurant I want to try that’s apparently really popular,” I announce. “Really? The last time you wanted to try going to a new place we got run over by a truck,” Quincy states rather sarcastically.

I assure him,“It’s okay truck-kun can’t get us here unless someone’s war class happens to be called trucker.”

Once we enter the restaurant I end up ordering us a pot of Dragon’s Breath and I pass everyone a bowl. Dragon’s Breath is extremely spicy and true to its name the people that end up consuming it end up breathing fire for a few minutes. Usually you’re supposed to pour a little bit of frost potion into the stew but I held off on purpose.

“Bottoms up!” says Quincy as he takes a large drink of the soup at once.

I stop Lilith and Nazuko from drinking the stew before I pour some of the potion in their bowls, but I decided to leave Remi to her own devices. A few minutes later I revel in my master plan as Remi and Quincy are running around the restaurant breathing fire all over the place. Wow, Quincy even broke the record for the largest flame to come out of someone’s mouth.

The workers at the restaurant end up putting a painting of Quincy on the wall as its current record holder and give him a stuffed dragon as a prize. Man, I did a lot today. I acquired a new, valuable party member, got engaged to a beautiful girl—against my will, became part of one of the ruling houses in the empire, and got my revenge. You know, they say revenge is best served cold, but I disagree.