Warren walks outside with the yero’s head, leaving both of the church’s doors open so we can clearly see what’s happening.
“Ay yo boss check out this guy. Looks like there was a homeless guy inside, eh?” says one of the goons next to a huge bald guy in a suit.
He’s carrying a tommy gun in one hand. Other goons line up next to him. One of them stands out, wearing a scientist’s outfit. He has thick glasses, freckles and short curly red hair. I have a feeling he’s not the gun toting type. Warren walks up to the bald guy.
“You gentlemen look like you are here for the Yero. I have some bad news for you. I killed it.” Warren announces, throwing the thing’s head at the bald guy’s feet.
“What the fuck, he didn’t kill it, I did. . .” Nerva mutters.
“Shhhhh please,” Adam whispers.
“Don’t you tell me to fuckin’ shush I shush whenever I damn feel like it. Also what the hell you doin’ right next to me?” Nerva whispers in return.
I just noticed but Adam and Nerva are hiding under the same bench making them squish next to each other.
“I was afraid that if I hid with Quincy he would hurt me,” Adam explains quietly.
“Good choice because you’re right,” I whisper to them.
“Bitch, why didn’t you hide under your own bench then? Got me all crammed and shit,” Nerva murmurs as she tries to push Adam away from her.
“Noooo, please,” Adam pleads.
“Guys quiet, they’ll hear us. Let Warren do whatever he’s doing right now,” I interrupt.
“Ay, yo, boss this guy for real?” says the same goon from before.
“Quiet already,” The bald guy orders, eyeing Warren.
“So, what are you? An adventurer or something?”
“Yeah, that’s right. I would ask who you guys are but I think I already know the answer. Question is what are we going to do now?” Warren asks.
“You idiot! Don’t you know how long it took me to put that collar on that thing and how much longer it took for me to train it?” the scientist next to the bald guy reproaches.
“Probably awhile. But I don’t want to talk to you. I’m talking to the big man,” Warren shoots back.
“Heh, you got spunk, kid. I’ll give ya that. But you don’t know how bad your situation is. We were supposed to capture that thing alive but it looks like we can’t do that now. Unless you got over 500,000 gold on you we’re going to have some problems,” the bald man remarks.
“That’s a shame. I left 500,000 gold in my other pants. Damn, and to think I almost wore them today,” Warren laments sarcastically.
“Ay, you makin’ fun of us? You know who you’re messin with don’t cha?” says a goon.
I swear these guys have Italian accents. Is Italy a thing here? Like a fantasy Italy? This is just really weird to witness. I’ve just gotten used to this world and its aesthetic only for a bunch of mafia guys in cars to show up throwing me off all over again.
“Heh so you do know we have to kill you right? You could just kill yourself to make things a lot simpler,” the bald man says.
“I’m afraid that’s not going to happen. I came out here to tell you guys to get out of here if you don’t want to die today. If you value your lives, leave now,” Warren warns nonchalantly, wiping some dust off his shoulder.
All of the mafia guys start to laugh. Warren shrugs and starts to head back towards the church.
“Ay, where do you think you’re going? We’re not done talking!” the bald guy barks.
“Huh? No, I think we are. If you guys don’t want to leave then that’s the end of the discussion,” Warren calls out as he closes the door behind him.
“Warren, what was that? I thought you were going to negotiate with them or something so we don’t die,” Adam questions as we get out of our hiding spots.
“There was nothing to negotiate over. Just wanted to give them a chance to get out of here alive and avoid bloodshed. I thought them thinking one guy took out the yero on his own would’ve scared them into leaving,” Warren responds.
“It’s ok Warren you tried. This outcome was inevitable,” I comment.
“I-I don’t really think it is,” Adam remarks. “Maybe if we-”
“Does that mean I get to fuck them up now?” Nerva interjects, bouncing up and down in excitement.
“Yeah, but first we need to get down because they’re going to start shooting now,” Warren informs, laying on the ground.
On cue a hail of bullets from all sides starts to enter the building. We get down as chunks of wood start to fall down around us.
Adam screams, trying to shimmy his way to a nearby bench.
The rest of us stay where we are as we wait out the onslaught of bullets. My ears start to hurt because of the gunshots. After about a minute the gunfire finally ceases and an eerie silence takes hold.
“I think we got them boss,” says a goon outside.
“Malino, Muni, go see if he’s dead,” the bald guy orders.
“On it, boss!” two voices say.
“Nerva, go do your thing,” Warren orders.
“Oh fuck yeah,” Nerva smiles, heading for the door.
“YOU MAFIA FUCKS READY? IT’S BADASS BITCH TIME!” Nerva yells.
“Who the hell was that?” wonders a goon from the other side.
“HELL BURST!” Nerva yells, aiming her hands at the door.
Her palms glow orange before flames shoot out of her hands. Her fire pushes down the front doors to hit the two guys on the other side. I hear their cries on the other side.
Nerva runs out of the building with Warren and I right behind her. She heads towards a group of mafia goons, shooting fireballs at their car while they fire their guns in return. The car explodes, setting off a chain reaction as one car after another explodes. Some of the goons are set on fire, making them scream in agony while others are simply blown away. While Nerva’s running forward Warren runs to the left with his machete drawn, dodging a hail of bullets.
As he runs by each goon he slashes with his machete, cutting off limbs left and right. I run to the right towards a group of goons shooting at me. I dash to one that’s right in front of a car. I grab his head and slam it into the car’s hood. Being forced to work out by Armstrong must be paying off a bit because it was so easy. I felt little to no resistance as I slammed his head in. I did it so hard that there is now a dent in the hood. Also, I’m pretty sure his skull is broken.
“He got Tommy!” the goon to my right yells.
I quickly run up to him and give him a blow to the stomach. He falls down immediately. Without stopping so that I don’t get shot I run to the next guy and then the next, giving each one a powerful blow. I hit one guy in the face, a few in the stomach, smashed one guy’s head into a car’s windshield. I’m knocking out each guy with a single attack--it’s amazing.
“You’re gonna pay for that, you fucker!” A guy yells behind me, pointing his tommy gun at my chest.
He fires at me at close range. Too close for me to dodge. I get hit by a burst of bullets and fall to the ground. Oh no--am I dead now? I got shot about five times in the chest at what is essentially point blank range. My chest stings as I put my hands on my body to check how bad the wounds are. Surprisingly I don’t feel any bullet holes. Oh my god. . . I’m freaking bullet-proof. I love aura. I get up, eying the guy who shot me.
“Oh shit. . .” the guy mutters.
I crack my knuckles and say
“Yeah. You’re dead.”
I dash up to him, giving him multiple hooks to the face. I then grab his hair with my left hand so that his head would stay in place. With my right hand I give him five punches to the face. After the stream of punches I let go of his hair making him plop to the ground.
I turn around to see how Nerva and Warren are doing and they’re doing just fine. Warren is still running from guy to guy slicing them and Nerva is a flamethrower. Streams of fire come out of her hands as she sets them all aflame. She’s still setting cars on fire too which is making the goons explode as well.
“YEAH! YA MAFIA FUCKS, IS THIS ALL YA GOT? THIS IS FUCKING SAD. Y’ALL ARE THE BIGGEST PUSSIES I’VE EVER SEEN!” she screams, laughing maniacally.
I keep forgetting that Nerva is messed up. She needs help but I am not the one to give it to her. I turn towards the bald guy to see that he’s trying to command whatever mafia goons are left. I run towards him to take him out but he spots me. When I tried to ram him, he sidestepped, making me miss. I stop and whirl around.
“You guys are all dead, you hear me?!” he threatens.
“I mean we’re all going to die sometime. Oh, did you mean within this fight? Because I think your men are dying, not us,” I mock.
“Alright, then it’s time to get serious,” he says, throwing his gun to the side.
He puts his hands into his pockets and takes out brass knuckles. He smiles as he puts them on.
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“I only like to take these boys out on special occasions. I think killing you all counts, wouldn't you agree?” he asks.
“Oh, I feel so special now you shouldn’t have. You’re going to make me blush,” I say sarcastically.
“Kid, before I kill you what’s your name? I’d like to know the name of my enemy before I destroy them brutally,” he questions.
I’m definitely not giving this guy my name. This guy is an a*shole that doesn’t deserve to know my name.
“I’m just a bad bitch, that’s all you need to know,” I answer.
I guess hanging out with Nerva has made me get used to the title.
“FUCK YEAH, QUINCY!!!” I hear Nerva scream behind me.
I turn my head to see Nerva give a thumbs up as she has her other hand on a guy’s head, burning it. I turn back around to see the big guy rush towards me. He throws a jab but I duck to give him one of my own. I made contact but it feels like I did little damage as he immediately tries to throw an uppercut. I jump to the left dodging it as I proceed to give him a right straight to the face. I make complete contact as blood starts to come down his nose. He smiles through the blow, giving me a left hook to my body.
The hit makes me roll into a blown up car. F*ck, this guy can throw a mean hook. My side hurts but I don’t think that I have any broken bones. I stand up and charge. I can’t let up, can’t let him think he’s got the upper hand. I release a flurry of punches to the guy’s chest. I hit him so fast and hard he doesn’t have time to react. I end my flurry by jumping up and giving the guy a right hook to the head. He falters and eventually collapses. For a moment I thought I won but then I heard him chuckle.
“Heh heh heh. That was a good attempt but did you really th-” he says but I cut him off by jumping onto him.
I ain’t in the mood to deal with this smug villain sh*t right now. I concentrate all of my aura into my fists, giving him as many punches as I can to his face. I keep hitting him again and again as his face starts to become deformed. My blows are making blood fly everywhere and my knuckles are becoming more and more red. His face is now not even recognizable as a face. Eventually I cave his skull in as I start to feel more of the ground that was behind his head than the head itself. At that point I finally stopped.
“Quincy, I think he’s dead. . .” Warren says next to me.
I rise, seeing all the carnage we’ve done. There are dead bodies everywhere. Some have their limbs cut off, others are charred remains. Some of the guys are still alive as I hear moans, seeing others without legs trying to crawl away. I say try as Nerva walks over to each one, putting her hand on their heads. Her palm glows red as their heads start to burn. The air smells like iron from all the blood. I finally take in everything that just happened, making me throw up. Warren pats me on the back.
“Is it finally over? Are we dead? Am I dead?” Adam meekly asks as he walks out of the church.
He was probably hiding under a bench the whole time. My disappointment in him grows.
“Yeah, Adam, we all died,” I answer sarcastically, wiping the throw up off my mouth.
“We’re fine, Adam. We’re all ok,” Warren assures.
“Can we please go home now? Away from all the death?” Adam asks.
“Yeah, we can. We’re done here,” Warren states.
“You guys are f*cking insane. You killed all of them. You guys are monsters!” utters a voice from behind us.
It’s that scientist guy from before covered in dirt. I think he crawled out of one of the cars that haven’t been destroyed.
“Hey, since you’re alive, you may as well answer some questions I have,” Warren suggests.
“No, I’m staying away from you freaks!” the scientist shouts, making a break for it.
“Nerva?” Warren asks.
“I fucking got this shit,” Nerva replies, picking up a rock.
She throws it at the scientist knocking him out.
Warren walks over to the knocked out scientist, picking him up. He comes back and tells us to find some rope because we’re going to do some interrogating. After Nerva found some rope from who knows where we tied up the scientist to one of the benches inside the church.
“Ok Nerva, wake him up,” Warren orders.
She puts her hand on the guy’s head making his head start to burn a bit.
“Ah!” he screams.
“You’re awake, that's good. Tell me what you were doing with the yero,” Warren commands, getting straight to the point.
“I’m not telling you a goddamn thing. You’ll never know,” the scientist retorts, spitting at Warren.
I give the guy a punch to the face. Nerva does the same. We keep going back and forth. This is pretty fun.
“Ow stop hitting me! Ok, ok, I’ll talk. We-” he doesn’t finish because I hit him in the head again.
“OW! WHY?” he yells at me.
“It’s fun,” I declare.
Nerva laughs and hits him again.
“Stop hitting me, I’m trying to talk!” he exclaims.
We look to Warren to see if he’s going to reproach us for hitting the guy but he doesn’t. Actually I think he’s starting to laugh at this. Warren motions for us to back off then punches the scientist in the stomach. We laugh uncontrollably. I think I’m actually enjoying myself right now. Am I bonding with these people? Well, not everyone as Adam has a look of horror on his face.
“Adam, hit this guy,” I order.
“What? No I can't. I-I don’t have it in me,” Adam states.
“Come on, pussy, you can do it. Look at this guy, he’s an asshole. He wanted you dead not too long ago,” Nerva argues.
“Hey, fuck you, bitch! You guys are the assholes!” the scientist yells.
I give him another punch to the head.
“Come on, Adam, you can do it. Just one hit. Adam! Adam! Adam!” I chant.
Nerva joins me as we both start chanting his name. Adam finally relents and gives the guy a punch to the gut. It wasn’t hard because the guy hardly reacts.
“Yay!” Nerva and I cheer.
I give Adam a pat on the back. Maybe there’s hope for him yet.
“Ok, ok, we had our fun. Now tell me what you were trying to say before,” Warren commands.
“I was contracted by the mafia to do experiments on monsters. After many months of testing I finally got a Yero under control. The collar shocked the creature into following simple commands. With a creature like that it could turn the tide of any battle. We were supposed to sell the creature to the rebels in Ayana but it escaped from my facility. The rebels were supposed to pay the mafia a huge sum and pledge their support to them for when they eventually go to war against the government in Yrden. That creature was my life’s greatest achievement and you assholes ruined it all. That’s it, that’s the whole story. I don’t feel bad about telling you all this because I know that they’re going to kill you for what you’ve done,” the scientist explains.
“Wow, such a shame,” I say laconically.
“Yrden huh? That explains a lot,” Warren declares.
“Ooooh, are we going there to kill the rest of these mafia fucks?” Nerva asks excitedly.
“No, that won’t be necessary. They have no way of finding out it was us who killed them. Besides, our deal was only one adventure, remember Nerva?”
“Pfft I fucking guess. I thought you forgot about that shit. . .” Nerva murmurs disappointedly.
“So you guys are going to let me go right?” The scientist asks. “I told you everything and I never tried fighting any of you.”
We (except for Adam of course) laugh at that. Hah that’s funny, he thinks he’s going to live.
“You’re all dead, you hear me? Dead! You are all underestimating the mafia. They’ll kill you and everyone you hold dear. I look forward to the day they-” I cut him off by punching him again.
Once outside the church Warren stops in his tracks staring at one of the cars that hasn’t blown up.
“You ok Warren?” I ask.
“Yeah I’m good. I’ve never seen a car before today but we are definitely taking this back to Colonus”, Warren answers as he walks near the car, examining it.
It hasn’t been damaged in the fight at all. It has this nice slick black paint job with seats covered in leather.
“Warren, if you never saw a car until today doesn’t that mean you can’t drive?” I ponder.
“Can’t be too hard right? Just push down on the pedal.”
It is definitely not that simple but I don’t want to take a slow carriage back to Colonus. Plus I think Warren is going to take the car no matter what I say. Oh well, at least I can read on the way back.
“So how come you’ve never seen a car before? Why aren’t cars everywhere?” I question as Warren continues to examine the vehicle.
“Cars are rare. Very rare. You only find these things in the more technically advanced states and even then, only the very rich have them. These things are expensive to produce. We technically just raised a fortune in damages by destroying so many, ” he answers.
It appears cars aren’t mass produced in this world. If Henry Ford was transported here he’d make a killing.
“So why do the cars not have wheels?”
“The cars run on crushed sidean. It makes them hover and move forward. I don’t know the specifics,” Warren replies.
“Sidean?”
“A gemstone only found in the state of Astus. It’s mined and shipped throughout the empire. The less technologically advanced states are heavily reliant on it. Not so much Dreden since we have a lot of natural magic.”
“So the more technologically advanced states have less magic?”
“‘Necessity is the mother of invention’ they say. If a place has a lot of magic, no point in creating or importing advanced technology since magic is so convenient. Take the portals in Colonus for example. Why spend a fortune on a car when you can use a portal to go almost anywhere in the city? There’s this ugh…” Warren pauses, snapping his fingers trying to remember.
Eventually it comes to him.
“There’s this thing called the Technological Rating Index published by the government. It rates each state based on its level of technology. Think Dreden’s rating is 3 out of 10.”
“Is the same true for guns?” I ask, picking up a tommy gun.
As I hold it I feel my aura transfer into the weapon. It’s a weird feeling, like it’s sucking my energy.
“No guns are different. Those are aura based, using the wielder’s aura to fire the gun. The stronger the user’s aura, the more powerful the shots. If your target is emitting more aura though,
the bullets won’t penetrate,” Warren informs.
So that’s what happened to me before. If monks emit the most aura out of all the warclasses then guns truly are ineffective against me.
“Are guns common?” I inquire.
“Not really. Guns are a gamble. Two conditions have to be met for them to be worthwhile. First you have enough aura to fire the weapon. Second, your target has to have less aura than you. If one of those conditions aren’t met you’re done for. That’s why guns are a coward’s weapon. They’re only effective against the weak. That’s why you only see thugs like these guys use them.”
I toss the gun aside. I suppose I’m better off sticking with my fists.
“Oh fuck yeah guys check this out. I got this dope ass hat,” Nerva says, coming up to us with a fedora on her head.
The hat is too big for her head as she keeps pushing it up to see.
“Nice. I want one too,” I reply, going to a nearby dead body and taking its fedora.
“Shouldn’t we not take from the dead?” Adam asks.
“Hey we deserve something out of this since the money from this quest is so low. Here, have a fedora,” I answer, handing him one.
Adam looks at Warren as if he’s asking if it’s ok to wear it. Warren nods his head, picking up a fedora for himself. Adam hesitantly takes the fedora I offered him and wears it. Sweet now we all have fedoras. After taking in our new hats we attempt to get into the car.
“Wait guys can I please sit in the front?” Adam begs.
“Hell no, I told you I don’t want to be near you for the rest of the adventure so you’re sitting in the back. Why do you want to be in the front anyway?” I question.
“Because of some...person,” he responds, motioning towards Nerva.
She doesn’t notice because the fedora fell over her head again and is messing with it.
“Too bad,” I say, grabbing the yero’s head from the ground then getting into the car.
Luckily the key is still in the ignition. I’m guessing this thing has an engine to start up. Warren is about to push the gas pedal but stops short.
“Do you smell something?” he asks.
“You mean besides all the burning bodies?” I inquire.
“Oh, it’s the church,” Adam states pointing towards it.
The church is indeed on fire.
“Nerva, what did you do?” Warren questions.
“Well I set that fucking scientist guy on fire, duh. We weren’t going to let him live so I set him on fire while you guys were talking,” Nerva explains.
Warren facepalms.
“Why couldn’t you do that without burning this village’s most important building down?” Warren asks.
“Because it’s fucking boring if I did it any other way,” she responds.
All of the villagers start to come out of the nearby buildings running towards the burning building.
“We’re getting out of here right now,” Warren says, putting his foot on the pedal.
A crowd is now booing us as we start to drive out of there. I turn around and see the sad image of a giant burning church with dead bodies in front of it. The burning nearby cars don’t help make the image look any better. Warren turns on the radio to drown out the boos as we drive our way back to Colonus. I should be upset with how our adventure turned out. We got into huge fights all for a small reward. But you know, I think these people are starting to grow on me. I even think I had some fun despite the murder. Maybe going on more adventures with these guys (excluding Adam) isn’t the worst thing in the world.