Axel woke to the noon suns gleaming brightly in his room, casting light onto the ceiling above him. He was covered in sweat, which had soaked into the mattress, making it wet. There was no feeling of Aria in his arm, but he felt two weights on his body—one on his chest and one on his stomach. Axel could feel aches throughout his body, but they were not the usual kind from a fight; they were deeper, more profound pains.
As he moved his head to see what was happening, he saw Sky sleeping on the floor off to the side. Axel had never seen a Thalaxian asleep before, but her legs were curled up around her, and her manipulators were twitching. From his position, he could also see that Lyra was sleeping on his chest, with Aria’s wings in the background, meaning she was the weight on his stomach.
Not knowing what was happening, Axel swept the room with his eyes and saw a small figure, no more than five inches tall, sitting on his nightstand. The Goddess sat there, poised, with tiny flickers of flame leaving her body.
“I calculated that you would awaken now based on your biological data,” Axel heard in a crisp and clear tone. “It is good to see that you did not submit to the entity, as your brainwaves, while slightly disturbed, are within recorded ranges.”
Axel blinked at this but could not seem to muster the ability to speak to her.
“It was unexpected that the material from that entity had surviving thought patterns. This was out of expectations, but your case is singular due to how you received it.” Hope’s voice modulated into a concerned tone. “This was a close thing, Axel. You could have been taken over or changed completely by the entity. Your companions burned through the power of their cores over the last 48 hours to give me the power to help you.”
“I am only still visible to you because of the power they gave.” Hope gestured to her diminutive body. “I am also in a lower bandwidth mode that was created because you could not sustain cycle upgrades at the speeds necessary to contact me when needed.”
Axel weakly nodded and noticed that his core was draining, likely from this conversation, and would only last a short time before he was empty. Still unable to talk, he brought up the journal interface and started a journal entry.
“Thank you for your help, Goddess. I know you likely have hundreds of tasks more important than me,” Axel mentally typed and sent.
Hope blinked a moment later and nodded to Axel. “I have billions of tasks running at any given time, but your group has a higher priority due to the nature of the mission I need you to complete in the future.”
“I have high expectations of you, Axel, and of your companions. While I do have backups if you fail, none of them have even half the projected success rate your group has, so please stay safe and keep risks to a better-calculated percentage.” Hope raised her hands and clasped them together. “I will go now, as your enhancements are still not up to communications at this speed for long.”
With that, the little silver flame vanished, and Axel felt a stirring on his chest and stomach, likely a reaction to his movement. Lyra raised her head, her right-side hair sticking out at a right angle, while Aria had a strange bedhead in the left direction.
“Good morning, everyone. Nice to see my room is popular,” Axel said in a hoarse and low voice, trying not to wake Sky.
“AXEL!” Aria ruined what Axel was attempting to do and hugged him with a shout. “We were so worried!”
Lyra yawned and added, “You have been out for a little over two days. Aria noticed that morning and had me come over.”
‘Morning, is it time for food?’ Sky’s voice said in his mind softly, interrupting Lyra before coming alert and jumping to her feet. ‘AXEL!!’
“Och, Sky, lower the voice, please,” Lyra complained, rubbing her head and glaring at Sky before picking up where she left off. “So, you were burning up with a fever, and your journal was sending out alerts about your core being unstable.”
“Aria ran straight to Lyra when she noticed!” Aria added with an almost chirp to her voice.
“Anyway, we could not figure out what was happening but did not want others involved as we still don’t know who to trust with your bounty,” Lyra pushed Aria back in her seat. “For the first twelve hours, I used everything I could to get your temperature down and find out what was happening when Aria suggested we journal to the Goddess and get help from her.”
“Aria got a quest right away and got Sky to help too,” Aria picked up the story. “Sky started panicking when she could not feel your thoughts.”
‘I did not panic!’ Sky replied indignantly. “It is just strange that I could not feel his thoughts, is all.”
“So everyone followed the Goddess’s instructions, and as we did, you started to form strange bruises and mutter in pain.” Aria ignored Sky’s complaint and kept her story going. “You were saying strange things, and I decided to have Sky start yelling into your mind as it was worrying.”
“Which I still think was a poor idea as we did not know the situation.” Lyra cut Aria off this time. “When you stabilized, we worked in turns keeping your core topped up, but the efficiency left a lot to be desired, about twenty percent, and well, we all kind of passed out when your journal stated that you were back to normal.”
“So, Axel, what happened if you know?” Aria asked, getting close to his face.
Axel needed a moment to gather himself and think about what to say. “It started as a nightmare and then,” Axel explained what he could remember of the nightmare, leaving out what the crimson said while torturing him as he did not want to burden either Aria or Lyra with how his jealousy was used to attack him. He also got off the moist bed and removed his nightshirt, only to see that he had chain-like bruises all up his arms that were very slowly healing.
Everyone listened, though Aria had a small frown, and Lyra had narrow eyes around the time he talked about what the crimson used to torture him, but neither said anything. Axel then thanked all of them and did not know what to say. If his guess was right based on what the Goddess said, there was a hidden danger from his proto-core that if he overused his berserking powers before he was ready, he would likely have to suffer like this again.
This thought sent a shiver through his spine, and even standing in the sunlight, Axel felt cold. There was little he could do but keep vigilant and not overuse his abilities. As everyone saw the bruises, they tensed up, and Lyra tried to use her powers to heal them, but nothing happened.
“I have never heard of anything like this before,” Lyra said while the green light washed over Axel’s arm. “It does seem to be fading, but neither my power nor your regeneration seems to be dealing with it. I would keep that hidden for now, and we can only let it heal naturally.”
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“Thanks, Lyra. I think I need some food and a shower now, so if all of you ladies would vacate and let me get cleaned up, we can meet at the training room in like two hours.” Axel shooed everyone out, shut his door, and leaned against it.
What he could not tell them was that he was still feeling all the pain from those chain bruises still, and looking at Lyra and Aria made the jealousy he felt more intense than before. Axel was unsure if these were just natural feelings or something enhanced by his experience in the dream if it could be called a dream.
Taking a moment, Axel began the rhythmic breathing of his meditation exercises to calm his mind and center himself. He then showered and went to get some food, which thankfully the cafeteria was open to handle. Axel then went to see Rex, as the group should have met with him a day ago for training, and no one mentioned anything about informing him about what was going on.
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Axel found Rex’s office with the door ajar, and only the sound of pen on paper could be heard from the room. Knocking lightly, Axel received an “Enter” and walked into the room. Rex’s office was simply decorated with bookshelves along the wall, a simple but sturdy metal desk, and some chairs in front of the desk. Rex sat in a special chair for his kind that allowed for their wings to not get stuck.
“Awww, you’re awake, I see,” Rex looked up and sat back from his hunched-over position. “I hope whatever happened is solved. Your teammates only said that you were having some reaction with your core and that they were handling it.”
“It was complicated,” Axel said. "Mind if I take a seat? You are one of the only people I can think of to talk about this with.”
“Go ahead,” Rex pointed to one of the chairs in front of his desk.
Axel closed the door gently but firmly and sat down. Right after Axel sat down, he saw that Rex pulled out a set of glasses and poured a liquid into them from a bottle in a different drawer. Rex then handed one to Axel.
“You look like you might need something with how grim your face is.” Rex then took a sip of his drink. Axel took a drink, and it burned like one of Aria’s fireballs down his throat but left a pleasant aftertaste.
“That hurts to drink, but thank you,” Axel said after coughing and then looked Rex in the eye. “Look, you are one of the few people that I feel like I can trust here, so this is what happened.”
Axel then explained the whole dream, including what the crimson tried to use to break him. Axel talked about all the worries, doubts, and how it seemed to enhance all the feelings he had during this encounter. As Axel talked about what happened, Rex just stayed silent and let Axel run through everything.
“That is a whole lot of sucks,” Rex said. "I will not sugarcoat this, but you are likely in a lot of trouble if what you think is happening is happening.”
“I have been around and only heard of this a couple of times,” Rex took another long sip and refilled his glass, then offered to refill Axel’s. Axel shook his head, so Rex continued, “This has happened when people skipped the Cycle and tried to get powers beyond their bodies' ability to handle. The blessing just does not have the power in that case to cleanse the core of the crimson completely.”
“Your case seems worse, and there seems to be more of the crimson left than in the cases I have heard about.” Rex then stood from his seat and paced a bit. “But that is not the worst of it. If it was only the crimson, I feel you would not be this upset.”
Axel nodded to the older man and said, “I think it is using every negative emotion to get to me.”
Rex nodded and motioned for Axel to go on. Axel was hoping Rex would pick up from where he left off, but after a few moments of slow breathing, Axel kept talking.
“So there are three things that I think it is using to get a wedge into me,” Axel felt his hand get wet and looked down to see them shaking. He put the glass on a holder on the desk, then held one hand with the other and continued, “First is how I killed my friend in a duel. It is a mistake that haunts me nightly, and I have only been able to sleep with the help of Aria.”
“Next is having to kill several people so far,” Axel looked down in shame. “It feels like it is getting easier, and that just feels wrong to me.”
“And the last?” Rex asked as Axel went silent for a while. Rex then waited patiently for Axel to get the words together.
“Aria is building a flock and decided to add Lyra to it,” Axel said finally after he could no longer take his own silence. “I know Aria is not of my kind, but I love her and want to make her happy. I just feel a very intense jealousy, and the crimson came the closest to breaking me with that.”
“It was not the pain, the shunning, or even me killing my best friend,” Axel pushed through. “It was a hatred at myself that Aria picked a woman I had loved but could not love me as someone to go to.”
Axel stopped talking after that and could not even look at Rex as the shame and hatred washed over him. As the silence stretched, Axel got up and started for the door, wanting to leave this situation before he embarrassed himself even more.
“STOP!” came Rex’s authoritative voice. This was something Axel only heard in training when he made mistakes he should not have. This caused Axel to instinctively freeze in place before he heard the clink of a glass on the desk.
“Sit back down, please.” This time Rex was talking in a much more gentle tone.
Axel turned back around, and Rex had his back to him, looking out the window in his office. The window looked over the city from twenty floors up. Axel moved slowly back to his seat and decided to take another drink. This burned as bad or worse as Axel tensed before the drink, but the burn helped distract him.
“Axel,” Rex started but did not turn around. “You may not realize it, but I have suffered many of the same doubts as you over my long life.”
“I am not going to sugarcoat it,” Rex now added his common phrase. “The life you are in now is a lot harder than many others. You are being hunted at a young age by many people who have grown calloused to these same issues you are struggling with.”
“I will start with the easiest of your problems but likely the longest to solve, if it ever is,” Rex sipped his drink and then said, “Your friend’s death was likely your fault, and it will haunt you. There is no potion or word I could say to make it better, and short of you having a mind master take those memories, it will always be there.”
“I don’t recommend the mind master,” Rex stated. “It will not truly solve this issue for you. Only you can heal that wound, and it will hurt.”
“Now, what you can do is use the pain,” Rex looked at Axel through the glasses' reflection. “Let me tell you a personal story. There was a young man full of more bravery than smarts. He led a team of Flame Seekers, and they adventured throughout the world.”
“Then came a day that his group went to a forbidden place deep in the mountains. His group thought that they could get through this dangerous area to get something that would set all of them up for life,” Rex stopped focusing on Axel in the reflection. “This young man led his team to their deaths. The only ones to live were him and another who left the Flame Seeker life to settle down.”
“This young man was haunted by those deaths and tried everything to forget, but nothing worked,” Rex kept looking off into the distance. “It took the death of the last original member of his team to figure out how to move forward with his life.”
“You need to use those memories as a talisman to strive to be better,” There was a bit of raw emotion in Rex’s voice along with a single dropped tear. “Always remember your friend, but don’t get lost in the sadness of his lost life. Grief is natural and is just all the unexpressed love you have for the one who passed.”
“For you having issues with the lives you have taken, again there is little my words will do to solve this for you, but if you can take it to heart, find a code to live by.” Rex started again after wiping the tear away.
“A code?” Axel asked while sitting forward in his seat.
“Yes,” Rex then turned to Axel and looked him in the eyes. “Give yourself a set of rules to follow when you need to fight other people. This can at least be a compass to keep you settled and find your way through the hard choices.”
Axel nodded but did not say anything, deciding to think about it for a time. Rex then leaned forward and smacked Axel upside the head.
“Ow!” Axel complained, rubbing his head.
“And that will be the last bit of help,” Rex said and sat with a huff. “I refuse to give love advice and hope that smack will clear up your head. Talk to your mate about this; it will only get worse if you stew on it like you seem to be.”
“Aria is smart and very clever, but you will not solve any of this without talking to her.” Rex then took the empty glass from in front of Axel, refilled it a little, and handed it back. “Our people have had a long history of the thorny path it is with falling in love with others, but you will only hurt everyone if you don’t be clear with her on this. If it does break your mating bond, then it is better to know now, but I am just an old man at this point.”
“Alright, I will try and talk to Aria after training today,” Axel promised and then raised his glass to Rex. “Thank you for listening and your advice. You have given me a lot to think about.”
With that, each of them downed their drinks and just sat in silence for a few minutes. Axel left shortly after to get prepared for training.