Which samurai did we get licensing rights for? Jetstream, Shade Spire, and Falling Spectre? Arrange for a full documentary on their backgrounds, and make character models so we can get them into all our game properties before the end of the month. Time is of the essence for these new samurai, gotta get them out there, while there’s still public interest.

What’s that? Put them on a reality show? Listen here kid, we don’t suggest anything that volatile to a samurai unless the investigation department suggests that’s something they’re into.

Nimbletainment is one of the biggest entertainment companies in the world, and we got that big by knowing when to push the envelope, and when to play it safe. We always play it safe when samurai are involved. Even a brand new samurai could topple our entire operation, if we rub them the wrong way, so don’t try anything stupid. You stick to the scripts.

-Adrien Lasso, Head of Samurai Media Projects.

—

Once the team recovered and stowed away their equipment, Skyler, Emily and I got together to discuss our next step.

“So our choice is either to head closer to where we suspect that Model Seventeen is located, or closer to the epicenter of the incursion,” Skyler explained as we looked over the map. “Both have their risks, but I recommend going deeper.”

“Why?” I asked. “There’ll be larger groups further in.”

“Bigger, but hopefully less organized,” Skyler explained. “You only saw the Seventeen’s last attempt on my life. Before you arrived it slowly picked off the other squad members just to find an opening to attack me. I’m worried if we head back into that area it’ll do its best to do the same to this team.”

“Deeper is fine with me,” I said, before looking to Emily for support. The PMC commander just nodded.

“If that’s the case, the next location would be here,” Emily said, pointing to a location on the APC’s display. “It’s an entertainment complex. The entire place is owned by Nimbletainment, and when the megacorp took over from the old owner they only performed the most basic of upgrades to get the building up to code.”

“No backup generators, no internal security bots… at least they have failsafe doors,” I mumbled as I went over the location information. “Why are there so many outbuildings?”

“It’s Nimbleland!” Skyler remarked. “Haven’t you heard of Nimbleland before?” When I shook my head my girlfriend put her head in her hand “I need to take you out more,” she grumbled. “Whenever Nimbletainment establishes a foothold in a new city they create a theme park to showcase all their various properties, and sell their overpriced garbage. Kids just eat it up.”

“It’s not huge, but the complex does have a couple separate shelters we need to check,” Emily explained. “At least we should have pretty good sightlines, and little overhead coverage, so we can make extensive use of the artillery bot.”

I continued looking over a map of the area for several more seconds before looking up. “Sounds like we have our next destination then,” I said lightly. Emily nodded, turned her head and said something to Jockey. A second later the APC jolted forward.

I quickly grabbed the support railing running across the roof, and caught Skyler as she fell backwards.

“Assuming we don’t run into any hordes along the way, this’ll only take a minute,” Emily reported. “The park is right off the main road.”

I crouched down so I could check out Jockey’s monitor as the APC sped its way through the dark, nearly empty streets. The antithesis scavengers were everywhere, crashing through windows, digging up any greenspaces they could find, and generally causing havoc, but they were a lot more dispersed than the groups we dealt with before. Easily dispatched by either a few rounds from the heavy cannon, or underneath the APC’s wheels.

After a few minutes of intermittent combat I saw a few shapes appear in the distance. A roller coaster track, ferris wheel, and a half a dozen other rides I didn’t recognize. We had to follow a massive fancy wall around to the front of the compound, where there was a parking lot half filled with cars.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

“Welcome to Nimbleland!” someone at the back declared as they lowered the ramp. I waited until Skyler and Howie exited the vehicle before I followed. Directly in front of me was a massive, imposing gate lined with ticket booths, and the word ‘Nimbleland’ hanging on a wrought iron arch above it.

“It’s a lot more impressive when everything’s all lit up,” Skyler whispered to me.

“If you say so,” I whispered back as we approached the structure. As we approached the gate something moved within the nearest booth. I tightened my grip on my hilt, until I realized what it was.

“Welcome to Nimbleland! How many people are at your party today?” the android chirped. It was one of those cheap service models, plastic face, very limited AI. Strangely enough, this one seemed to have been customized with a fuzzy pair of ears, and an oversized tail.

“We’re here to check on the people in the shelters, not play,” I told the bot as I jumped the small turnstyle blocking my way.

“All guests must pay for admission! If you’re not registered in the database, park staff WILL escort you off the premises,” the bot explained as Skyler followed me.

“Hey, tin can we’re not guests, there’s an incursion going on. You know, emergency measures?” Bulldog explained, as he reached into the booth and knocked on the robot’s head. Its head bent to the side slightly, then bounced back into place the instant he withdrew his hand.

“The cheapskates were probably relying on sending a network update when an incursion occurred, rather than having preset incursion protocols,” Emily explained as she jumped the barrier next.

Skyler frowned. “So because the district is experiencing a blackout, every bot in the park thinks it’s business as usual?”

“Is that a problem?” I asked. “How many could there be?”

“One at the entrance to every ride and stall, plus cleaners and entertainers, so several hundred,” Skyler replied.

I stopped, and glanced back at her. “They don’t have ANY human employees?” I asked.

“Just management. It makes it easier to make sure everyone stays in character,” she explained. “Look, there’s one of their mascots now, Samurai Man.”

I squinted in the direction she pointed, trying to see through the darkness for several seconds until I remembered my glasses were capable of night vision. I immediately swapped over.

The thing that was staggering around in the darkness looked like some sort of plush action figure. It had a fake gun, which it was waving around wildly, along with fancy armor, gauntlets, and a backpack with a ton of miscellaneous tech objects hanging off of it. “What exactly is it?” I asked.

“Samurai man,” Skyler repeated. “Nimbletainment has the right to create media using the likenesses of tons of different samurai, but they didn’t want to risk losing those rights if they used any of them as a mascot, so they made up a couple of generic ones instead. Samurai man and Samurai girl.”

“Very original,” I replied dryly.

“Do you think it can point us to the nearest shelter?” Steve asked from the back. “This place is quite extensive, we could use a guide.”

“In theory, yes,” Emily said quietly. “But if it doesn’t have any incursion protocols like the last one…”

“Don’t be afraid everyone, Samurai man is here to save the day!” the awkward bot suddenly declared. It turned sharply, and began to shamble towards our group.

“Well, we’re about to find out,” Trevor mumbled.

I stared at the mascot as it swaggered closer. The strange face was statuesque, in a cartoony way, but the only things that moved seemed to be the eyebrows, and the mouth.

“Howdy partners! You don’t appear to be on the guest registry, please present your tickets for verification,” the strange toy-like man said, stopping not even a foot away from me.

“We don’t have any tickets, you stupid robot, we’re here to investigate the shelters. There’s an incursion going on,” I hissed.

“Don’t worry about incursions, Samurai Man will protect you from the antithesis. Using that as an excuse to sneak into the park, especially when there isn’t an incursion going on, is a no no,” the oversized puppet declared.

“For fuck sake there is an incursion… FUCK!” I yelled as the mascot suddenly surged forward and grabbed my arm. Its vice-like grip was so tight it was painful. “You must follow me to the security office.”

“Fuck you!,” I snarled as I grabbed my sword, bringing the blade up and severing the offending limb. The bot just glanced at the missing limb.

“Intentional destruction of Nimbletainment property detected. Nimbletainment reserves the right to charge vandals up to ten times the cost of the damages. Park employees are now authorized to use force to detain the offending party,” the mascot droned.

“That doesn’t sound good,” someone muttered before the mascot stepped forward and tried to smash me in the face. It probably would have managed it, if I didn’t have improved reflexes. Instead I ducked the blow and brought my sword up to sever its other limb.

“Unable to detain, seek reinforce…” I didn’t let it finish, and embedded my blade deep in its plastic skull. The mascot twitched wildly for a minute, before finally laying still.

“This is going to be a problem, isn’t it?” Skyler remarked quietly.