The sands of the strange desert in which I found myself looked uniform and unaltered, as if I hadn’t advanced at all, despite all the walking I had done. If it weren’t for the great fatigue I felt at that moment, I would have believed I had stood still the entire time.
With my will about to succumb to the delirious heat of the desert, I could make out some sort of structure on the horizon. With renewed strength, I ran toward that edifice, clearly designed by humans, hoping to receive some kind of help. However, as I advanced, that structure began to reveal its true nature.
When I arrived, I found myself facing the strangest structure I had ever seen in my life. It seemed like an enormous clay base with immense steps leading up each side of the structure to a strange marble temple that sat at the top. Behind the clay columns, hundreds of windows were visible, opening into dimensions of infinite darkness, and at the center of it all, there were gigantic steps leading to the summit of that imposing structure.
Standing there, alone and lost in the middle of a desert in front of that strange edifice, older than any civilization that had ever walked the earth, I couldn’t help but feel paralyzed, my legs shaking as if I were in the depths of winter. Yet, it all provoked immense curiosity in me.
The nerves and exhaustion I felt from everything that had happened and from walking such long distances made me long to rest for a moment to recover the strength of my mind and body, which were already on the verge of collapse. Moreover, I needed to shield myself from the sun, and I didn’t believe that place could still be inhabited, considering there was no way anything alive could sustain itself in that valley where only death could survive.
Slowly, using the few remaining forces I had, I began to climb the stairs of that cyclopean structure, which had withstood the test of time. When I finally reached the top, my eyes met the temple of the purest and most beautiful white I had ever seen in my life. I couldn’t contain my excitement and, despite my exhaustion, I ran toward it to appreciate its perfect beauty up close. That temple seemed younger than the clay base that elevated it to the sky. Its structure and design resembled Roman temples, except for the roof design, which appeared flat with slight depressions on the sides. The immense columns were sculpted with an almost divine style and detail.
As quickly as my exhausted legs would allow, I made my way into the temple. The interior was just as impressive as the exterior, with columns, walls, and floors of the same pristine white as the outside, as if time itself could not mar this divine creation detached from time and space. On the walls, immense stained glass windows irradiated their kaleidoscopic light onto the clay floor.
The rest of the place consisted of a vast main hall surrounded by walls of columns. On both sides of the room, several entrances led to different chambers, and there was also a secondary entrance to the temple on the right side. Although I paused to explore the rooms, they were completely empty, and their designs were very similar, except in two instances. Two of the rooms were longer than usual and seemed to be divided in two by a large wall, giving the impression they had been the priests' quarters.
The other instance was a room larger than any of the previous ones, surpassed only by the grand main hall. I considered that it must have been the meeting place, but I didn’t spend much time analyzing the rooms, as my eyes were drawn to the immense statue that lay at the front and center of the main hall.
Seated on her enormous white throne with her legs together, turned diagonally to the side, displaying her delicacy and dignity as an authoritative figure, was what I presumed to be the deity worshipped in that temple. Her body, sculpted with great precision and care, gave the impression it might evaporate at the slightest breeze. Her face was hard and unyielding, worthy of a goddess who commanded respect. Her enormous black eyes seemed to pierce my very soul with their empty, dead gaze.
Shaking my head, I focused on the platform in front of the statue. The idea of approaching it was tempting, as her gentle posture exuded an aura of warm patience and kindness, although the ominous atmosphere of the place did little to ease the unease of being in a place foreign to me. But none of that mattered; the need to approach the statue of that unknown goddess was an imperative born from the depths of my soul. I wanted to plead for forgiveness for my pathetic acts of immaturity, which surely had put me in this situation in the first place. If I apologized and corrected my ways, I might find out why that goddess had summoned me to her in that place and perhaps gain an answer to why she had given me life, or so I thought. It was worth the risk if it gave me the slightest chance of getting answers to those questions.
Hesitantly, I put one foot in front of the other, gradually building the courage to keep moving forward, passing by the platform as if in a trance. My mind could think of nothing but that statue, like a supplicant child clinging to the folds of his mother’s dress, seeking to appeal to her kind heart. That was how I felt as I weakly placed my trembling hands on the statue’s hands and lifted my gaze to meet hers, looking into her beautiful face with repentant eyes, trying to find a sign of forgiveness or anger, to glimpse the slightest hint that someone was listening to me, that I had not been abandoned to rot in that place.
I remained in that state for what seemed like hours because at one point, I could barely feel my legs or the ground beneath me, and my vision was failing to the point where I could no longer understand what was happening around me. It was as if I were floating in nothingness.
That sensation of vertigo was so terrifying that I tried to pull away, but with my clumsy movements, I stumbled and fell to the ground, or so I thought. When my vision cleared, it seemed my body was floating slightly above the ground, and a light of the purest white emanated from the statue. I tried to shield my eyes with my hands and look at the ground, but it seemed futile; I couldn’t move my body, and the scene around me was being engulfed by that light, covering everything in a white mantle that seemed to extend into infinity.
Not even my wildest fantasies had prepared me for that unnatural experience, so I entered into a great panic upon realizing I was floating in the middle of nowhere, unable to move, not knowing how I had gotten there or why. Now I truly believed I could never leave that place, or ever see my home again, or would I perish in that luminous world of terrible whiteness.
I was on the verge of tears and a nervous breakdown, but thanks to that desperation which filled me with adrenaline, or perhaps by divine intervention, I was able to move my numbed legs. As I tried to stand up, I couldn’t touch any solid surface or even take a step, but I had confirmed that I was indeed stranded in a vast ocean of light.
And suddenly, as if by magic, all my sadness, anxiety, and fears vanished like fleas fleeing from water. This only made me more worried about whatever was behind that light, possessing the power to deprive someone of their emotions against their will.
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With growing paranoia, I began to observe my surroundings, which were constituted by a light radiating peace and that strangely no longer hurt my eyes, although this didn’t increase my chances of finding anyone or anything. The statue was nowhere to be seen, and whatever had brought me to this “place” still hadn’t shown itself. But just as I was coming to terms with my newfound absolute solitude, my entire body started to feel strange, as if every part of me was experiencing a massive cramp, or a lightning bolt had struck my head. My vision became blurrier, I was breathing with great difficulty, and my senses were numb. I was disappearing. Merging with that light, which, rather than being a beacon of peace, only brought me pain and misery. I closed my eyes again, or at least I think I did, as everything turned dark in an instant. I couldn’t see or feel my body, my head, or my eyelids. It was as if I had died, but I was still there; my mind was there, completely engulfed in panic because I couldn’t form a clear thought. I’m sure that if I could feel myself breathing, if I was still breathing, my lungs would have burst.
The only thing I could sense clearly was the passage of time, which gave me time to think, and my mind couldn’t help but wander to those dark places that comfort us during our worst moments. I thought that deity, who took perverse pleasure in torturing me, would continue moving me to these horrible and lonely locations, bringing me more physical and mental pain until she inevitably grew bored of me and discarded me into the eternal, cold void of death. And at those moments, that final fate didn’t seem so bad. The problem was enduring until that moment arrived, but how long would I have to wait? How would it happen? What would that being do to end my existence? But before anxiety and anticipation could take hold of my soul, all the darkness around me vanished.
Now I found myself lying in a meadow surrounded by the smell of grass and spring flowers. My fatigue had completely healed; my body felt as if it had been reborn. Astonished by the peaceful and refreshing place, I began to hope that everything had ended. Reluctantly, as if any sudden movement might shatter the fragile veil that protected my vision from the horrible truths of the world, I tried to stand up slowly and carefully, as my brain couldn’t process that my body had fully recovered from that experience.
Once standing on both legs, I stopped to better appreciate the panorama around me. Despite being able to smell the flowers, I couldn’t see any in the green meadow, which seemed to stretch as far as the eye could see. But that didn’t matter much to me, as at least I was in a place where I could feel or see things like the grass or the sky full of white clouds. Although something about that meadow gave me chills, the joy I felt at regaining all my senses and motor skills, being able to feel my body, my heart beating, and hear my measured breathing was indescribably wonderful.
After a while, which I used to recover and assimilate the events, I concluded that this must be nothing more than a huge hallucination. Someone cursed me, or I was dreaming, and this was just a product of my imagination and no one else’s fault but mine, and my obsession and impatience to discover my purpose or what I should do with my life. Yes, that had to be it. All of this must be my own fault in my desire to punish myself for being so stupid and believing that an existence like mine had any purpose. Although there was still the possibility that all this was indeed the work of god or a malevolent entity, I had lived so many years being disappointed by His negligence that I dismissed those suspicions immediately. The hypothesis of a dream began to sound more logical; god wouldn’t waste His time on someone like me, an ordinary human without any talent and a history of mediocrity and failures to his name. Nothing special could happen to someone like me. This was confirmed by the events in that strange and ominous temple with that divine statue, which refused to give me anything more than a spectacle of torture just because it could or didn’t want to be disturbed at that moment.
None of that mattered anyway. Now I wanted to explore the place and see if there was a way to escape, though after reflecting on it for a few moments, it seemed a better alternative to stay in that place rather than return home, if it could be called that. No one there awaited my return with eagerness, with my grandparents and parents dead, the only thing that I had back “home” was to keep fulfilling my duties as a slave, living for others and not for me, complete submission and dehumanization was awaiting me in that place. So in both places, I could only see how forces beyond my control chose what to do with my life and how I should live it, whether it was my unconscious in the case of this dream, external deities, or my master.
But if I were allowed to choose something about my life, I would have preferred to stay in those infinite and empty meadows where I would at least be surrounded by peace and the sweet aroma of flowers. That was better than the alternative. If a deity or whatever woke up one day wanting to kill me, or if I died of hunger, thirst, or went mad from the immense and crushing solitude, I truly saw no downside. I would either be dead and it wouldn't matter anymore because I would be deprived of a boring and meaningless existence, or I would be so crazy that I wouldn't even understand where I was standing.
Determined, I began to explore my new home with renewed spirits, and just like the desert, the landscape didn’t change the entire time I walked. Time I could no longer measure accurately because the sun showed no signs of moving from its position (which seemed to mark the beginning of noon) since I had started walking. Since I showed no signs of exhaustion and had nothing better to do, I kept moving until after some time (or at least I assumed time was still moving in that strange place) I began to see a figure on the horizon. Excited by the discovery, I quickened my pace. As I got closer to the figure, it started to become clearer until I finally saw what it was: a tree made of crystal, shining with a beautiful amber light, in which amber glows could be seen, and in the center of the leaves, strange and striking black spots could be observed.
That tree, whose branches and leaves seemed to have been hand-carved, awakened a tide of emotions within me: nostalgia, rejection, hatred, and an oppressive sadness. I decided to leave the tree and continue on my way elsewhere because I could no longer bear to look at it, but when I turned around, I noticed someone was standing behind me. How long that being had been there, I couldn’t say for sure, but it seemed to focus all its attention on me, looking at me with eyes that reflected great disbelief, as if it didn’t expect to see me in that place.
Two women stood before me. One of them had a face that reflected a certain innocence, although her childish smile evoked a feeling of repulsion, and her curly golden hair gave me a powerful sense of nostalgia. The second woman had beautiful, silky orange hair, like autumn leaves, cascading like waterfalls over her shoulders. She wore a white dress and sandals strapped with leather thongs that wound around her legs. But what truly captured my attention was her face: its soft contours, her demeanor that emanated confidence, her vibrant smile, and her eyes that held the stars of the entire universe. It was like seeing the face of the purest and most beautiful angel.
The girl with the golden hair decided to ignore me and chose to play by the crystal tree. Meanwhile, the other woman smiled even more and slowly, as if not to scare me, approached me. She raised her arms and placed them around me, holding onto me as if I were the most delicate and valuable object. After a moment that seemed infinite, we separated slightly, and with her hands holding my arms, she began to look directly into my eyes. This made me feel extremely uncomfortable, so I looked away. This seemed to please her, as she let out a small laugh and then kissed my forehead. But when her lips touched my skin, everything turned dark again.
I woke up in my room screaming, sweating and greatly agitated. At first, I thought I had been right and that it had all been a simple dream. However, as the day went on, I began to have a strange feeling, as if someone or something was watching me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake that feeling, in addition to the constant whispers I felt around me. Over time, I realized they came from her sweet voice. The truths she whispered in my ears were so terrible that a powerful desire to flee and bury myself in the deepest pit washed over me.
“It was my fault…” I said with trembling lips. “Now I understand everything! I must warn the others. Somehow, I have to remedy this situation, even if only a little.”