The Engressia hivemind had consumed sixteen outer rim worlds before anyone noticed. It was growing with size and complexity after each encounter. First contact had been made up of waves of rudimentary bioships, later incidents had shown signs of warp based weaponry and quantum fuckery.
Only the humans didn’t seem particularly alarmed by this, in fact they volunteered to take first crack at the swarm. Something which confused the local governors until the reasons behind it were explained, at which point they were even more confused and a little bit frightened.
“Well… we really don’t want to disappoint engineer Lopez.” Explained the captain apologetically. “We promised him if he fixed a glitch we were having with the quantum communications net he could be the first to see the hivemind. We thought it was impossible but he pulled through for us so it’s only fair we do the same for him.”
“What’s he going to do?” The ambassador asked. “Is there some kind of weapon he’s been working on?”
“Not that I know of, that’s not really his area. Lopez just asked that we scrub his mind of any sensitive information and send him out to meet them. He did say something about doom that I didn’t quite understand.”
“Ahah!” The ambassador said triumphantly clasping his many hands together. “So there is a human weapon!”
“Possibly.” The captain admitted. “He also said that he was having a crisis, or something about a crisis. He was really, really excited so I was having a hard time understanding him. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“Yes, of course...” The ambassador knit his brow in confusion.
*
“Oh wow, neat!” Human engineer Lopez said as he was dragged unceremoniously into the integration chamber like a sack of meat. The hivemind’s drones had captured his single man vessel without a fight. They didn’t think anything was unusual about his apparent joy or total lack of fear because thinking wasn’t really their area. Which was a pity because one of the first rules of dealing with humans is that if a human engineer seems happy or excited… run. The further, the better. Dimensional hop if you need to. Do not stick around to watch, no matter how “cool” the human promises it will be.
Covered in slime and happily as a clam Lopez was forcibly shoved into the integration pod. It scanned him, taking notes of his vitals and neurochemistry before removing the top of his skull and beginning the process of connecting him to the hivemind. Not that human engineer Lopez minded any of this, after all he loved bugs. It had been his dream to meet a real hivemind, with bioships and drones. As someone who had never really fit in with other people the idea of being one with a greater consciousness held a certain appeal. Plus it was so cool how everything was connected together from the drones to the ships themselves like a giant network.
Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
A milky white slug-like creature the size of a dog oozed out of the wall. It gripped the sides of his pod with pink claws and peered in at him.
GREETINGS. Said a voice in his head. WE WILL BE INTEGRATING YOUR KNOWLEDGE INTO OUR COLLECTIVE. WE WILL COMBINE YOUR KNOWLEDGE WITH OUR OWN TO BETTER UNDERSTAND AND GROW. THEN YOU WILL BE TERMINATED.
Lopez chewed on that for a moment. CAN I JOIN YOU? He asked. I WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW YOUR SPECIES.
NO. YOU WILL BE INTERROGATED AND THEN DISCARDED. WE WILL TAKE YOUR KNOWLEDGE, YOUR MIND AND BODY ARE OF NO USE TO US.
Disappointment radiated from Lopez. I THINK I BRING A LOT TO THE TABLE. MAYBE IF YOU GAVE ME A CHANCE THINGS COULD WORK OUT.
LOOK... Sighed the voice. WE’RE SURE YOU’RE REALLY GREAT, BUT WE’RE JUST NOT LOOKING TO HYBRIDIZE RIGHT NOW. WE’RE REALLY IN MORE INTO EXPANDING AND CONSUMING.
FINE. I UNDERSTAND. The human engineer sulked in his integration pod. Why would nobody give him a chance? All he wanted was a chance. He was super smart and kind, very giving. Any hivemind should have been happy to have him. OH WELL, ONTO PLAN B
The slug suddenly felt like it was in two places at once. It tried to ask the human what it had done but the link was dead. Perhaps the human had self terminated?
WOW OUR NETWORK SECURITY IS TERRIBLE. It thought to itself as it slithered back into the wall. HOW THE HELL DID WE EVEN MAKE IT THIS FAR?
*
The hivemind was feeling sluggish. Well, more sluggish than usual. It was trying to calculate the optimum attack pattern for dealing with the next system’s orbital defense grid but kept coming up blank. It was like it couldn’t focus. Its mind kept being flooded with vague images of flashing light and alien creatures.
COOL. LOOKS LIKE WE FINALLY GOT EVERYTHING WORKING. NEEDS OPTIMIZATION THOUGH. The hivemind thought to itself.
WHAT? WHAT HAVE WE FINALLY GOTTEN WORKING? It wondered.
IT’S REALLY COOL. The hivemind thought. WE’RE GOING TO LOVE IT. IT’S A CLASSIC FIRST PERSON SHOOTER, PROBABLY ONE OF THE BEST OF ALL TIME. JOHN ROMERO WAS A GENIUS.
*
Back at the sector headquarters the ambassador’s headache had grown into a migraine. He understood that the threat had been stopped, just not how. “Go over it again, please.”
Human engineer Lopez had returned somewhat worse for wear after his trip but seemed to be in good spirits. The literal stack of medals and ribbons adorning his new uniform might have had something to do with that. “The Engressia evolved alone.” He explained. “They never needed any form of security for their psychic network. When they began to expand and integrate new technologies they stacked them on top of their existing framework instead of upgrading. It’s a pretty common mistake.”
He then went on to talk about spoofing, packet injection, overflows and memory leaks. “It’s all a bit technical but basically I was able to exploit a weakness in their security to gain access to their core systems and run code. The video game “Doom” was the logical choice because hackers have been running it on everything from calculators to bio-implants since before we achieved warp travel. It’s practically a rite of passage.”
The ambassador looked at his data slate. Nothing remained of the hivemind fleet but melted slag as if their ships had been consumed from the inside by a raging fire. “You’re saying that this video game destroyed the hivemind?” Were humans so destructive that even their toys could bring about such devastation?
“No, Doom ran just fine.” Lopez shifted awkwardly in his chair. “It was going really well actually, so I decided to try my luck and install Crysis...”