My emotions are in a big, inescapable mess.
Humiliation.
Anger.
Frustration.
The feeling of helplessness.
I had tried so hard. My bones had creaked. My body had burnt.
Yet I had still lost to his boring persona.
I find myself scouting rooms in the house.
My hands are grasping everything that the cotton sack by my side can contain.
They move from right to left, up to down as the items in the room became scarcer and lesser.
I'm panting.
I'm tired. I know what I'm doing. But I don't know much more.
I'm running away. To put it simply.
Emotions from today, and the pent-up feelings over years had reached a point where I could no longer avoid antagonizing thoughts.
Thoughts like.
Why don't I just leave.
Why am I stuck in this field.
Why am I unloved.
Well. The last one is partially on me.
My tongue curls up as I take a small note from my left pocket.
My eyes scan over it quickly before I tighten it with the edge of my hand.
I leave the beige letter within a small book on top of the shelf.
It's his least favorite book.
This way, I can give my condolences, thanks, and reasons without being instantly revealed.
If anyone comes in, it'll be clear what my intent is.
But they won't.
Elrar is visiting the tomb that I and Chlora explored many years ago.
He has been doing this often in recent months.
As if anticipating something.
Well. Not that it matters now.
The point is, he usually spends a few hours or even the whole night there.
More than enough time for me to make a break for it.
As if my whole body is in agreement, various twitches and pushes are urged out.
As if my body was pushing itself out of the house.
I checked my bag.
Food (8.) A mix of cold meat, stale bread, and hard corn.
Tools (5.) Knife, Rune-Lamp, Rune-Flare, Hammer, and a dull black water cup made from aged wood.
Clothing (3.) Robes, Trenchcoat, and cotton trousers.
Healthcare (2.) Basic healthcare and a high-grade healing rune.
Valuables (8.) Numerous grimoires, lockets, and shiny objects scavenged rapidly from the Basement.
Ah. Money.
I wasn't even certain if this world had currency.
Wait. No. If it has magic then it must undoubtedly have a common currency.
However, it would seem that none of that currency is present here.
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Maybe I just sell off some of the valuables? Ah, but what if I get ripped off?
As these thoughts entangle in my mind, I see a small emerald coin.
It lays on top of the drawer.
I pinch it with my fingers before placing it in my bag.
Not caring about morality all the more.
Well. It looks pretty valuable.
Who knows. Maybe I can get a house with this much.
I check over all my belongings once more before finally closing the bag shut.
I take one last look at myself in the mirror before I go.
My face is sweaty, my eyes are tense and sharpened.
My entire body is squirming and creasing.
I look away and head to the door.
So this is it.
The start of my journey.
The spark for this was probably just the idea of being stuck here again.
Living in such a restricted environment was awful.
I hadn't noticed for years but around a year ago I came to a sudden realization.
I had been a fool.
These lands were lifeless.
Was that not a major death flag?
The sky was unnatural, though it may have been the world's norm, I must head out to see.
I want to explore this new world.
I can look after myself. After all, I have the intelligence of a 15-year-old stuffed into this small body.
Combined my age ought to be around 26.
Though due to the scenarios I'd argue that I've probably aged mentally in a strange way.
I'll call myself 19 mentally.
For now.
Sure would be nice if I got some sort of system...
Maybe a meeting with some god.
Even an affinity to an element would be bliss at this point.
I stuffed down my thoughts as I left them behind the door I slowly shut.
At that moment. I had a choice.
The edge of my shirt had been stuck in the frame.
The chance of going back in, living as if nothing happened.
It was right here.
But I think I'll stick to my word.
My decisions.
My goal.
To live by my means, my decisions, and my goals.
To not be held back by anything. And if I am, I'll just cut off the arm that holds.
The air did not feel cold, the smell did not pronounce a pungent odor.
They all now felt pleasant and tried to lure my mind back to the cottage. The world within the fields.
It all felt like home.
This home ties me down.
Therefore. I must leave.
And if I ever return, I shall be stronger.
At least I hope so.
I make the first steps down the stairs. Without tumbling, fortunately.
With the bag on my back, I feel a tense strain.
But if I can't manage this. Then I won't be able to manage even half of the path ahead.
So I keep going.
And now I sit by a boulder.
Night has fallen.
The snow looks so fragrant and homely. But it is not for me.
As I look around the snow, I see a part a shade lighter than the surrounding snow.
I see a girl.
A girl with hair a shade lighter than the snow.
Her purple eyes made mine ache slightly.
She is silent.
But not scared.
Is this an illusion? A dream?
I open my mouth, only a hot and burning feeling comes from my throat.
I had been walking non-stop without a break.
It made sense.
I now looked back once more.
She had come from the left.
No wonder this was the first time I had seen her after my leaving.
But why was she here?
Fortunately, I had no need to start the conversation this time.
For she did so.
"Are you... planning to leave?"
Her usual talking style is back.
Her voice is almost translucent with its clarity.
Her voice drifts in the wind.
To her question, I merely nod solemnly.
Is she going to tell the others?
"Well."
She ponders, wondering if something was right or wrong I assume.
"I might be able to help... maybe a bit."
I look at her in confusion.
"What are you going on abou-."
"I know the way."
Eh?
"I know... the way. The way here."
Her clear voice is bouncing back and forth.
"I came here by foot after all."
I then remembered.
The odd pair of Vorgio and Chlora had come here on foot.
No teleporting or magical mysteries.
Just an old-fashioned journey.
"I'd like that."
My voice was tired and weary.
She merely nodded calmly to my statement.
She used some earth magic and crafted a small dome. The texture went from wet to surprisingly hard and firm. Not even the smallest crack was present.
She then made a small fire and a little spring.
I admired her work as I sat cross-legged.
My back finally untensed as it rested on the hardened mud-domes wall.
My sac fell by my side.
After the preparations were done, I had questions to ask.
Well. First.
"How did you know where I was?"
This must have seemed out of the blue. But it was not unreasonable.
I had been worrying for a while if I had been spotted, and Chlora was merely the messenger.
Chlora spoke clearly and at least I assume, truthfully.
"I saw you whilst walking back after some magic training. Maybe half an hour ago."
Ah. Just my luck.
I merely sighed quietly at this response.
Wasn't that great...
Even the smallest girl could find me through my sneaky endeavor.
We continued talking.
"So why... are you helping me now?"
My tone was laced with uncertainty and a tinge of suspicion.
"Probably... Probably so that the next time we meet. The next time we meet, we can be different. Maybe you'll have a name, and I'll be... mhm different somehow."
Her long gaps would leave others frustrated but they merely shifted into short silences for me as I store into the still-silvery sky. Though its color tone had become much dark and grey.
"Cool."
I let out a short answer. My exhale flew out of the dome. And with it, I hope was the last of our suspicions.
We had a brief conversation before sleeping.
But as we fell asleep, she asked another question.
And we had another brief conversation.
I did mildly take note that she had grown in terms of holding conversations and logic. Not to the level where it felt equal, unfortunately.
This cycle repeated until we were in a tedious program.
I sighed.
This girl really wanted to fix this relationship.
Well. I might as well entertain her for now.
And so we talked.
We talked until the sun had begun to peek over the edge.
Our worries that we had stuffed in snow and rime melted with the morning shine.
I looked to the right as birds cawed above me.
The winter cold made me pale but I kept looking.
Still, in my robes from the previous night, I looked.
I could see no end.
But that did not matter.
Because I didn't need an end.
Just a means to an end for now.
And so I picked up my stuff.
And she picked up hers.
And from then on...
We began to travel.