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SYNTH
Chapter 6 – Shadow

Chapter 6 – Shadow

“[…] With the ultimate rise of technological advancement, came hope for solving the climate crisis of our planet. It was achieved in the most unusual way. It all started with perfecting virtual reality. It became quickly available for an affordable price and almost every household had the headsets and occasionally a whole sensory deprivation chamber.

In VR, many people spend most of their lives living false realities, never going out into the real world and meeting people in the flesh. As a result of that, the birth rate rapidly went down, so that in the next decade there was only one child born per five people. Compared to the astounding number of 8 billion people in the year 2056 (before the VR advancement), 1.8 billion in the year 2291 was a pretty small number.

That is one of the reasons why the state of our planet did not reach the point of no-return when it came to the climate and ecological crisis.

By the way, VR was banned in the green zones only fifty years ago. […]”

⎻ Part of the lecture at the University of New Warsaw by Joanna Boyko, the year 2386.

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“It was your fault that guy kicked me!” Rin’s screech almost made it past my hearing restrictions. Key word. Almost. And at a human frequency, at that. I wondered if her vocal cords were also augmented. Curious.

“So what? I’m supposed to look after everybody’s backs when I’m getting curb-stomped?! You’re just a bitch because you don’t know how to throw a fist!” Moose might’ve not been as loud as Rin, but he was definitely more intimidating. I saw multiple heads turning into the direction of our table, but none of those people actually intervened.

“Is this normal?” I asked Gabriel who was sitting next to me, while the screaming two actually stood up and were- Wait. Were they seizing each other up? Is that what it’s called?

“Pretty much.” The blond man didn’t look concerned in the slightest by what was happening in front of us.

I checked my behavioral protocols and I found that screaming was a big no-no in social situations. On the battlefield, though, it was slightly different.

If I blew a guy’s leg off, it was obvious he would scream.

“You did not just call me a bitch! Motherfucker, just wait until I beat that smug look from your face!” Rin raised her fist next to Moose’s nose, accompanying the threat.

He did have a smug-looking face, I noticed.

“Well then. What are you waiting for, girl? Y’know I ain’t scared of a fight.” With that, Moose took a brave step forward. I was quite certain that Rin would back down and just admit defeat, but no. She kneed him. In the groin. Hard for a human. Maybe her hearing wasn’t the only augmentation she had.

“Y-You really are a bitch!” With that strained response, Moose, while slightly bent forward, reached for the chair to seemingly stabilize himself. Rin, on the other hand, now with her own very smug face, sat back down.

“That looked painful.” I couldn’t help but add. I thought these people were friends. If not that, then at least comrades in arms. Instead, I had trouble grasping those strange and violent dynamics between them.

I decided to stick with Gabriel. He seemed the most normal out of the bunch.

“Sure is.” Moose sighed as he hastily pulled out a chair for himself. “Hope that was worth it.” He directed at Rin.

“Oh! You have no idea.” She smiled as she pulled a knife from under her sleeve. I didn’t notice it hiding there before. It was well concealed. “But you do know you kinda deserved it, don’t you?” She looked at him pointedly as she started skillfully twirling the blade around.

“Yep. Sure did.” I couldn’t tell if Moose was genuine or if this was sarcasm. So I asked Gabriel.

“Did he?” I whispered it to the blonde man, so I wouldn’t provoke Rin’s ire. I wouldn’t like to be kicked in the groin either. Nor would I like the fight that would happen because of it. Not that I didn’t like fighting, as I was made for it after all, but because Rin would lose, and I didn’t want to hurt the fragile friendliness I developed with at least two of the people around me.

Gabriel nodded to confirm that, yes, in fact, Moose did deserve that kick.

“Anyway. Now the air’s cleared, I gotta ask. How are you? That knee of yours was looking pretty busted back there.” Moose asked. Now with a more normal-looking posture.

I checked the status of that part of my body. The nano-regeneration I turned on the minute the wound occurred was doing wonders. Almost half of the damage has been taken care of. Unfortunately, I knew that full recovery would not be possible without some grade 2 plasteel, which compared to grade 1 plasteel was more flexible and therefore best suited for joint repair. If I had it near the wound, the nanobots would handle the rest.

Even though that was bad news, it could’ve been worse. I could’ve been made of organic flesh and then that would be a much different conversation.

“It’s going to mend itself, but I will need a specific material for a full repair.” I replied to him.

I could still function normally, but in a fight I would be severely restricted if it came down to movement and flexibility. As I was about to ask for advice on where I could possibly purchase or find the much-needed material, I got a notification.

[Full system diagnostics complete.]

Well then, that was good. I skimmed over the full report quickly and found most things to be in order. Except three that were tagged as questionable.

The first one was about my knee, which was obvious. The second and third questionable results had to do with my core. The results for each of those measurements of my core’s specific activity were well over the safety limits.

It could mean a core explosion if not taken care of immediately.

I couldn’t understand why the measurements were this high when it came to my core. Usually, such results would happen when a core would suffer mechanical failure or injury, which in my case did not happen. The only physical injury has occurred to my knee and that would never cause my core to operate at such abnormal rates.

It could also be a result of a processing strain, which could happen if I were to, for example, uphold the antigravity on myself for too long a period of time. Approximately 2.1 hours, which was also not the underlying cause for this irregularity.

If such high results were not caused by external damage, I would need to look into my running processes. The antigravity field was surely not working so it was something else. Something unusual.

I ran a diagnostic over my processes handling module, which was situated right where my sternum would be, and I could indeed feel a slight temperature rise at that location.

How could I have missed it? Back at the Antarctica base or when I was in the middle of combat, I was able to notice things smaller than this. Although, that was before I gained sentience. I would need to check the SSUs forums on this subject.

“-there? Hello? Is everything okay?” Gabriel’s voice was over half louder than normal as he asked his questions. I looked at his face, scrunched up in concern and uncertainty, and then at Rin and Moose.

They looked confused. Well, they were not the only ones.

“Sorry. I was going over my diagnostics report.” Which was true, but anyone knowing how synthoids operate would find my lack of attention questionable and concerning. As if I were a second-rate synthoid. I felt a strange tenseness cross over my face muscles. Was this an embarrassment?

“No. Something’s up. I can tell from your resting bitch-face.” Rin mused as she looked at me with distrustful eyes. She was suspicious. Should I tell them about an immediate threat of explosion right in the middle of this hall? It didn’t seem like the best idea.

As I pondered my next action, which was taking only milliseconds, I got a ping.

The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

[Processes handling module diagnostic complete.]

I looked at the report and I couldn’t believe it. I was apparently downloading something. I immediately terminated the process, which was not easy because it hid behind standard behavioral processing action. No legitimate program would do something like this. I didn’t even notice when it started.

As the process terminated, I was left with what it managed to download. The files were sneakily hidden behind subprocesses and saved with made up extensions. When I managed to reach them and then tried to delete them, they slipped through my fingers. Well, through the administrative command, actually. I couldn’t delete them the usual way and I didn’t know why.

Ignoring that problem for now, I quickly checked those two core activity measurements that were raised earlier, and they were slowly falling to normal levels. So, whatever that downloading process was, it was what almost caused my system to malfunction and possibly explode.

“It’s fine now. Just a small software issue.” I replied, which was accurate I would say. Well, expect that near threat of making this whole building and the surrounding structures into dust.

“Huh. Fine, but I’ll watch you.” Accompanying that sweetly said threat was a gesture of flipping me off. I found that annoying. I guessed Rin was not the easiest person to be around.

“Rin, come on.” Gabriel mused softly at her, at which she responded with a sigh and an eye roll. She rounded her shoulders and nodded towards Gabriel. I would say she was slightly apologetic.

“What material do you need? Maybe we have that on hand.” Moose asked.

“Grade 2 plasteel. Not a lot. Just a couple of grams.” He nodded as he seemed to think.

“I’ve gotta ask Tony. He might know. It’ll be just a sec.” He rose and went towards the receptionist desk.

After a few moments passed, I was asked a question.

“You were military, right? How come you’re… Well, y’know.” Rin asked with slight fumbling. I suppose that such subjects were not the most popular, since SSUs were not numerous. Still, I wasn’t quite sure what she was asking me. Gabriel helped with that thankfully.

“She means that SSUs are usually former companion-synthoids, like me.” Right. I guessed as much based on Gabriel’s looks and build. With a quick check, I was able to see that Gabriel’s body was not reinforced like mine and there was no antigravity field, x-ray sensors or grade 2 joints, which improved movement. He was built to last, yes, but not to fight.

Still, synthoids were created with artificial and synthetic resources, like artiflesh made our flesh and synthfiber made our muscles. They were made with tough materials which resonated with neutronium, so they wouldn’t require extensive wiring. Some people understood synthoids better with this old-age analogy; that our bodies were like a radio receiver and our core emitted radio waves. No wiring needed. Some mechanical functions needed to be built in, of course. For places such as hands that relied heavily on precision for example. There had to be engineering to move and whatnot after all. No matter how one would wish for a magical solution to making a moving and functional body.

Getting back to Rin’s question. She asked me that because military grade synthoids did not have extensive emotional response circuits. If I were built like any other mili-synthoid, that would also be the case, but I was an experimental unit. I wasn’t sure how much I was allowed to say. I did have to sign a document that would restrict my sharing of information about my engineering and under normal circumstances I would honor it. But the corporation that asked me to sign those, tried to kidnap me not so long ago. I would say that agreement was null now, right?

“I was an experimental unit. My emotional response circuits are as advanced as any new companion-synthoid.” I answered as I reached for another of Gabriel’s candy. He decided to put the tin box in the middle of the table at one point. At Rin’s insistence.

“Really? That didn’t hinder your performance in a fight?” Gabriel asked me with a strange fervor.

“No, why would it?” I was curious why he thought that.

“‘Why?’ Isn’t that obvious, you dumbass? You didn’t hesitate when you were ‘bout to shoot some poor dude?” Rin chimed in with an incredulous tone.

I pondered the question for a fraction of a second and said, “No. Never had that problem. I did as was ordered, like any synthoid does.” I couldn’t see an issue.

“Well, yes. We obviously used to do everything that was asked of us, but emotional response circuits work a bit like ethical programming, right? So, when I was asked to do something questionable while I was not sentient, then my programming rebelled because it was against a normal human response. Your emotional response circuits might’ve been messed with if you didn’t experience such problems.” Gabriel deduced with fading out fervor. Whatever it was that got him excited before, must’ve passed.

“I’ve never thought about it like that.” I admitted.

To confirm Gabriel’s theory I would need to look at my logs and compare existing emotional response circuit programming to my own.

I didn’t like the connotations of this theory. It might mean that even though I am sentient, that I don’t experience life like a human would. The thought of that was strangely upsetting.

Then I thought about Jack. Because he was my handler, he usually came with me on the missions that were assigned to me. Not only the flying kind, but also the more fighting and killing kind.

In the open field, where bullets would fly as fast and rapidly as rain in the storm, it was impossible to have a gun and not fire at your opponent. Peaceful and loving thoughts and sentiments had no place on the battlefield, as would reason dictate.

Jack shot people. I saw that. He never once hesitated when there was gunfire around us.

I heard a ping and then-

[Restricted memory accessed by administrative command.]

“I cannot do that, Commander. It’s just a kid. Please listen-” The Captain cried out as the electronic voice in his SDI screamed at him in response.

There was a lull in conversation. I was on standby.

“It’s the same as pulling the trigger myself. No, probably worse. Commander, I plead with you-” Another interruption as a rapid stream of a mechanical rifle hit our cover. The integrity of the wall before me and the Captain was at 32 percent.

“Captain, the integrity of the-”

“Not now, Rend.” He barked.

I calculated that the lull between gunfire waves was about 17 seconds. Four, three, two, one-

“Fuck this.” I saw my handler punch the wall before us as he said, ”Order. Eliminate the threat.” Captain finished saying as another wave hit our cover. It held.

As the last bullet struck the wall before us, I quickly got up and ran towards the enemy.

Coming up behind them, I shot the enemy once in the back of their head. The attacker was eliminated, but I needed visual confirmation for the mission leader.

I turned the body around, and then I saw the face of a child-

[Memory restriction applied by the user ‘Captain Jack Steele’.]

As the memory file finished its action, I counted it took 0.1 seconds to view it.

I didn’t know I had restricted memories. This has never happened before. Did it mean there was more I couldn’t remember?

I should be upset with what I saw, right? The action in the memory was in clear violation of standard combat rules and intercorporational war agreement.

I killed a child? No- I was under orders. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t-

“Hey! What’s going on?” Gabriel shook my shoulder with urgency. I looked at him and saw a sea of concern. “This is the second time. Something’s up. Please, tell me.” He took my hand in his, and I couldn’t look away from that visual.

I killed a child.

“I knew she was bad news. I’m going. Don’t call me if something undoubtedly goes wrong with this piece of junk.” Rin said as she got up. She hid the knife back in her sleeve. There was no physical indication there was a blade in there. How so?

“Fuck you.” I heard the blonde man say. Rin only scoffed as she turned her back and walked away.

“Hey. Are you with me? What happened?” I looked at Gabriel and tried to think of something to say, but for some reason my memory processes were focused on that, now unrestricted, memory.

Maybe I could terminate that process with administrative command? I tried, but it just came back up. I couldn’t close the visuals.

If anyone knew how to go around something this cumbersome, then I would think it’d be Gabriel as he was a fellow SSU.

“I accessed a restricted memory. Now I cannot terminate the memory viewing process. Advice?” My hearing hardware must’ve been malfunctioning. I just heard a rifle go off.

“Oh.” He exclaimed as he applied more pressure on my hand. His grip wasn’t bothersome. “I’m afraid that you can’t. No.” He sighed as he reclaimed back in his chair.

I heard my gun go off. “Then what should I do? This is hindering my other processes.” I’ve never felt more useless.

“You just have to let it pass. If it’s something, especially emotionally heavy that the ethical protocols cannot handle to process it, then it might take a while to figure it out. I had a similar problem a couple of times. Just takes time.” I needed to check if other SSUs had similar difficulties. This could seriously affect my performance and actions.

I saw a pair of hazel eyes flash before me.

“I got you something! Tony had some old hardware lying around. Said it should do the trick for a nano-repair.” Moose’s voice boomed around Gabriel and me. I took my hand away from the blonde’s man grip. I couldn’t show weakness to anyone else.

“Thank you. I’ll see to it right away then.” I started pulling my trousers’ leg up, but Gabriel stopped me.

“Hey! Maybe you could do it somewhere… Well, less exposed. Why don't we go up to my place?” His expression showed genuine want for help.

“That would be appreciated.” I got up and waited for Gabriel to do the same.

“So, here you go.” Moose handed me a piece of strange-looking hardware, but with a quick scan, I was able to determine it would do just fine as a grade 2 plasteel source.

As I took it from his grip, I noticed that he looked as if he wanted to say something, but with a quick look at Gabriel’s shaking head, he stopped.

“Well, I’ll be down there if you need anything. I’ll ask Tony to just send you the information when he finishes with your stuff.” The bigger man nodded and tapped Gabriel’s shoulder as he passed and walked towards one of the occupied tables.

“Come on. I’ll show you my crib.” With a flash of teeth, Gabriel started to walk towards the stairs. I followed.

With every step I took, I could hear that singular repeating gunshot. Again and again.