“[…] Every choice is a negotiation. Sometimes between what you want and what you need, sometimes between what you believe is right and what feels wrong. The true mastery lies in subtly influencing your greatest opponent—yourself. To make a choice free from regret, one must first navigate this internal struggle with clarity.
Yet no matter how much you negotiate, deliberate, or delay, some choices have only one outcome. Some paths inevitably lead to either despair or hope. Accepting this truth is what strengthens you, making you more decisive and less vulnerable to regret—the very thing that can paralyze you from making any choice at all. For when negotiation gives way to coercion by your deepest fears, regret becomes a suffocating force, leaving you trapped in indecision. […]”
— Exert from a transcript of a motivation speech given by the Coach Jax at the SI-Con (Self Improvement Conference) at the Javits Center in Nova York, the year 2483.
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“I’d be down to work on a synth. Been a while and I’m curious if things have changed. How old is your friend? Two years? Five?” Lyric came closer to where I was and I had to make sure I did not blast at them with expletives.
Did they not see what Dawid wanted? It was clear this man put me in a position in which I would agree to whatever price he’d dictate.
I could refuse, of course. But that wasn’t really an option.
This group might’ve been strange and Dawid in particular grated on me, but they were unaffiliated with corporations and were close to Jane. Even though Dawid’s views about synthoids seemed conservative as he did refer to me as a ‘tool’ when he spoke to Jane, it wouldn’t be him helping Gabriel.
He was just a collector and I had to open my purse.
“I’m not sure. I’d have to ask.” I answered them as my eyes were glued to Dawid’s.
“That’s fine.” They waved their hand in a wide arc, “I’m down to do it. Just gotta decide on a price, y’know. My time’s valuable. Also, I can supplement a bit of supermaterial but that will cast ya extra, just so you know.” From the corner of my eye, I saw them look pointedly at myself and Dawid.
“That is true. Lyric has expertise. What can you offer us in return?” Dawid’s voice boomed with the dreaded question.
“What would you like in exchange?” I wondered where my limits would lay.
What was I willing to do to keep Gabriel alive? For a fellow synth who I’ve known only for so long, but who in that time gave me kindness, advice, and a place to be.
Where did I draw a line?
“Do you remember what I asked of you last time?” I nodded yes at his question, “That. I want you to do that.”
A murder. Life for a life.
I wasn’t surprised, but my core still burst with activity.
The message that Dawid sent me almost a week ago popped open before me and whilst I was looking at the face of that woman, I pondered a question. Did life have a price?
Perhaps it was a bit silly that one who probably killed countless people was skeptical about doing something like this, but I was.
Since I’ve gained sentience, all the fighting and killing I did was in retaliation. I never initiated the violence.
“Is there anything else I can do in exchange? Anything except that.” There had to be a middle ground here. Jane did say to Dawid that my technomancy could prove useful for other things. And he was able to notice the state of my arm. That hardly screamed ‘capable of assassinating someone’. Even if the target was a human, she had to have some protection.
I hoped, rather than reasoned, that his answer might surprise me and then, after a lengthy pause, I saw a way out of this dilemma in the gleam that quickly shifted through his eyes.
“There is one other thing you can do, I suppose.” He turned his body to Lyric and asked them, “Do you have everything ready for Swipe?” The word did not fit in the sentence, so I presumed it had a hidden meaning.
Lyric nodded, “Been sitting on it for weeks, boss.” They arched an eyebrow and then their eyes lit up with wonder as they landed back on me. “I see.” They slowly said.
Dawid nodded and explained, “How about a simple job? Go in and go out. I can tell you more details later. It’s nothing to be done now, but the quicker, the better for all of us, right?”
That sounded doable and some tension that crept over me since I got here evaporated. Infiltration, that I could do.
I just wondered what the catch was.
“I can do that.” I turned to Lyric, “How fast would you be able to do the procedure?” They contemplated with a hand on their chin for a while.
“I’ve got my toolkit ready to go and the supermaterial is laying here somewhere. It’s just a matter where you wanna do it.”
I thought about the environment Gabriel was currently in and found it not suitable for something this sensitive. The HQ was also out of the question as Moose and Gabriel were probably still quarreled.
“How about here?” I would have to ask Rin to bring Gabriel around. After the man agreed that was.
Maybe Rin would drag him here if he resisted? That was also a solution.
Lyric looked at Dawid with a questioning look. Right, this place was a bit off limits to most.
“There’s a room on the top floor. That could work.” The tall man responded and I nodded in acknowledgement.
“Then I’ll message him.” With a clenched fist and monumental control over my facial muscles I then said, “Thank you.”
They both grunted in return.
“Damn, I’ll have to prepare. It’s gonna be nice digging into a synth again.” They turned to leave, but with a pause, they added, “Could you send me his model? Might be good to know what I’m working with.” That seemed reasonable enough.
“Of course.” I answered and then they left.
I was left again with Dawid.
“Now, let me tell you what you’re gonna do. Really easy stuff. You probably did something similar in the past.” He went behind his desk and started tapping on his datapad.
“I need you to go into a specific room in this building. There, you will have to connect to the computer in that room and send a program we will provide you. Simple, as I’ve said.” Followed by his words a ping sounded in my hearing implants and a message containing various layout maps appeared. It had everything, camera placement, the shift changes, usual employees in specific rooms and every port of connection available. It was dream information for any job of this type.
It was turning out to be rather easy.
How did he jump from asking me to assassinate someone to telling me to launch a program into the building's mainframe?
“It doesn't say an address. That's also important.” I queried.
I saw Dawid hesitate, or at least that was my first thought. Then FERS told me he was excited.
“Here you go.” I received the coordinates and he added, “It’s the GUF headquarters.”
What a splendid liar, Dawid was. Surely, infiltrating the most powerful corporation on the planet was going to be easy.
Did I just learn sarcasm?
After a slight millisecond pause at that realization, my mind started to think of the logistics of such a task. Then, as a strangely familiar sensation started sprouting in my right arm, my attention shifted. The arm shuddered slightly, almost imperceptibly to the eye.
If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
It shivered and twisted inside the sling a little, as buzzing currents of energy slowly crept through my synthflesh and fiber. As if the arm was regaining its function.
The only problem was that I could not order it to stop its twitching movements.
And then, with a violent spasm that was visible to all, my right arm hung limply again.
What was that?
I immediately ran a full diagnostic, along some local ones, but I had a sneaking suspicion I wasn’t going to find out much else other than what I currently knew.
Which was to say nothing.
Except that its sudden motion might’ve been caused by something that happened right now. If it wasn’t, then this was a strange coicendecnce.
And if it was indeed caused by something it could either be my newly discovered capability of internal sarcasm or the fact that the place I was to infiltrate happened to be the GUF building.
I would say the latter was the more probable option.
“You’re gonna do it or not?” Dawid’s gruff voice exploded at my senses. With an involuntary shiver of something akin to confused concern, I turned my attention to the man before me.
“I can try, but it’s the GUF as you’ve said.” I started to go over the layouts and schematics, trying to make a plan of movement to get to the marked room. “Have you thought about a potential approach?”
Considering how Lyric and him were speaking of this plan, and that Jane did mention to him the possibility of infiltrating the GUF, this had to be in the works for a while.
Maybe that’s what Swipe meant? This mission in particular.
“Yeah, but that’s out of the window since you’re a synth. They’re gonna know that the moment you step into the building.” I sensed a subtle electrical impulse coming through his SDI. “We can talk about it after your friend gets here. I’ve got a call to take.”
I took it as a subtle way of telling me to leave him alone, so after a nod, I walked towards where Lyric was seated. Then I sent a message to Gabriel asking him about his model, and one to Rin to get him here as I’ve found potential help for his fracture.
I got an almost instantaneous response from Gabriel, that just said,
hell no
Even after I explained why I needed that information? With a growing feeling of impatience, I then sent another one begging for any information he was willing to share about his engineering. It was ridiculous that he would not entertain such a matter seriously. I just agreed to something that could risk serious penalty at the hands of the GUF if I were to get caught.
All to help him.
Why did I do something so idiotic? I based decisions on logic, most of the time, and all my actions tried to be thought through, weighed against possible scenarios and consequences. Helping Gabriel, knowing the price, was much riskier than the potential benefits.
Then why? I asked myself and tried to make that question sound loudly in my mind. I needed an answer. Why would I choose risk over safety?
Because I wanted to help him.
The realization hit me with a resounding clarity. It was surprisingly shocking as I knew that I’ve held that desire since the moment Rin asked me to assist him, but that was a quiet thing before. Now, as I took small steps towards a person that held a chance to heal him, it was a loud and thudding want–a desire–that I found sitting deep in my core.
I wanted to help him not because it was logical or beneficial, but because my wants far outstripped the risks.
It was a horrifying discovery.
Lyric’s sudden attention on me and Gabriel’s vague information about his engineering reached me almost at the same time. After a brief scan of what he sent me, I directed that message to the purple-haired person before me.
“This is what he was willing to divulge. He doesn’t want his model known.” I added.
Then I received a message from Rin that said,
i know where that is you better have a good explanation for this we’ll be there in 20
I should’ve known that Rin would know that Fleshies was apparently more than a nightclub, as she was aware of Jane’s ‘side gig’ as Contractors would call it.
I would’ve been more anxious about Rin’s apparent vexation at that, if I wasn’t more perplexed over her lack of punctuation. It took a good two percent of my processing power to decrypt the meaning of that message.
“Mhm. That’s fine, I guess. I’ll probably be able to tell when I see him.” As they put the info on one of the screens, a question sounded from them, “He’s a SSU, right?”
For some reason, the question surprised me and I felt an increasing need to ask what was their problem. But then I realized that it wouldn’t hurt to answer the query.
“Yes, he is. He and his friend will be here in twenty minutes or so.” Lyric seemed engrossed in something on their screen. I looked and noticed diagrams of synthoids pop up one after another. Simple ones, that mostly showed energy hardware. Like the cores and their protection.
“Okay.” They answered, but I was quite sure their attention was elsewhere.
“I’ll let you know when they get here. Mind giving me your contact information?”
At that, they grunted and I took it as yes when the proper information arrived into my contacts list.
I said my farewells and turned to go back up. Somehow, I had to explain this all to Cece.
I wondered if her and Rin knew each other.
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“Rin’s coming?” Cece’s face was illuminated in the ever-shifting colors flashing directly at the nightclub goers. As a sour grimace formed on her soft-looking face, a splash of blood-red light landed on her cheek.
“Yes, with Gabriel. The person I mentioned.” I answered as I sat before her at the bar.
I managed to tell her most of what occurred to bring me to this moment. About Gabriel’s actions, his reaction to what happened with Moose and the injuries I wanted to help him mend.
The fact that Cece’s first question after I said all of that was regarding Rin, made my core buzz with piercing bolts of irritated energy.
Irritated at what, I wasn’t quite sure.
Cece kept looking at me with furrowed brows and asked, “Are you friends with her?”
Now, I definitely felt like there was a right answer.
“I’d say I’m more friends with Gabriel, while Rin is more like an acquaintance.” At my response Cece’s grimace relaxed and some tension left her body. I was surprised she didn’t sigh.
“Alright. I’m asking because–” A three-second pause. “Well, Rin is a difficult person, as you’ve probably realized. Janey and I used to be friends with her but then some things happened and let’s just say we don’t speak to each other anymore.”
I nodded and said, “I see.”
Navigating all those relationships, who liked and disliked each other was getting quite difficult. Maybe I could make a chart or something? That would be useful.
“Sorry, for y’know, getting hung up on Rin. I feel bad for your friend– Gabriel, was it?”
“Yes, Gabriel.”
“Sounds like he’s having a rough time.” That was true, although perhaps a better way to describe it would be to say he was having a horrendous time. “Let me contact the entrance. I’ll make sure they’re let through.” At that, Cece’s eyes flashed as she contacted the current bouncer, probably.
Was she a manager of this place? I didn’t think a standard bartender and entertainer would be able to tell a nightclub’s bouncer to let someone in.
“Dawid mentioned that there is a place upstairs we could use. Am I right to say it’s a floor above where your room is?” I questioned.
Cece nodded and sent me a program, “Yep, you can use that to access the floor.” Then she looked at me with a questioning look. “Honestly, I’m surprised Dawid agreed to all of this. He used to be a Sammie, y’know?”
A Sammie? I’ve seen a mention of a group like that on SSUs forums, but it wasn’t explained well.
“What does that mean?”
Cece’s eyes widened and she exhaled loudly with what appeared to be a surprise. “You’re a synth, right? You really should know.”
At my lack of response she began, “I’ll tell you then. Sammies are basically a bunch of shitheads that think synthoids will be the end of humanity, or something along those lines. Dawid used to be one, but then something changed. He said that the management got crazy and instead of a group that was focused on policy changes and whatnot, they began to act more like conspiracy theorists. Extreme, radical and unable to reason with anyone.”
That would explain his strange attitude towards me, but then the question was if he thought that synthoids spelled the end of humanity, as Cece has said, why would he agree to help me at all? Why would he want my help?
“That would explain some things.” I agreed with Cece’s assessment that his decision was, in fact, startling.
“Maybe he changed? It’s been a couple of years since that happened, I think.” Hopefully, it was such a mundane reason and not something else. The man was getting more enigmatic the more I knew about him and that never spelled anything good. A person that was unpredictable was more dangerous than anyone else.
“Maybe. He has also asked me to help him with something in return. That could be a reason.” I said and saw as Cece’s eyebrows furrowed.
“What did he ask you to do?” She questioned and I wondered at Cece’s place in all of this. When I asked Jane if the blue-haired woman was part of Blackwire, I didn’t receive any meaningful response.
But did I care that Cece knew, even if she wasn’t a part of that group? I didn’t agree to keep anything a secret.
“An infiltration job at the GUF.” At my response Cece’s jaw slacked and a look of astonishment came onto her face with rapid speed.
“Wow. That’s—” She seemed to be getting her bearing back. “That sounds serious. Can you do it?” Her eyes glanced quickly at my right arm.
The full montage of her reactions told me some things. Like the fact that Cece was probably unaware of this Swipe mission Dawid mentioned to Lyric. But she had not asked why I was to do it. Just if I could.
I nodded and said, “I believe so.” And it was the truth. Not only because Dawid has given me all the information for me to succeed—even though there was always a risk in a mission like that—but also because I was not doing it for myself. But for Gabriel.
That fact made me even more determined to get it done. Besides, if I were to fail, not only would I likely face prosecution by the GUF, but Dawid might ask me to do something far worse in exchange. I knew I would sour this tentative relationship when I refused what I suspected he’d ask of me.
Cece and I talked some more about more mundane topics, like her work here, my contracts and other minor things that popped up. It was mostly her that did the talking, but I didn’t mind that. Even in the sea of chaotic noise, it was easy to focus on her voice.
And after a couple of minutes, I noticed Rin slowly walking with Gabriel towards where I was seated.