“[…] What does it mean to sacrifice something? To discard a value, material or otherwise, that you hold dear for a greater desire. But then, what is the nature of desire? Is it not a fickle thing? Does it not shift constantly through life, molded by sorrow, birthed by delight, and sparked by countless experiences?
Is sacrifice on behalf of that fleeting, ever-changing ache not righteous, then? For it casts aside that primal drive which never leads to true fulfillment—that spark of depravity that fractures people, families, and communities.
Does that not make sacrifice the ultimate tool for growth? If so, how can a machine learn? How can it change and mature from the life it observes through its cold, unfeeling ocular implants? How can a body devoid of touch and pleasure know desire? How can it learn to discard it? How could it ever be called one of us?
It cannot. And so it is heretical to entertain such thoughts. Embrace your flesh, embrace desire! For it will lead you to sacrifice, and sacrifice will bring you closer to the Divine! […]”
— Excerpt from ‘Tenets of Sammies’ by Anna Maslowy, the founding mother of the Sammies Movement.
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“What do you mean by that?” I asked, because maybe Gabriel was implying something different–something other than what I thought he meant.
He continued to take off his shirt and then reluctantly he reached for his trousers. I wondered if he had the same feeling of shame humans did.
“I mean is it even worth fixing? It’s gonna be expensive and I don’t have that kind of money. What am I supposed to do? Isn’t it better to just–” When he divested himself of the clothing, only underwear remained.
He untangled himself from under the covers and laid down on the bed with a quick exhalation. Gabriel’s bright eyes glued themselves to the ceiling.
“You’ve thought about it.” I stated.
He probably realized what was wrong the minute the diagnostics ended. If the fight happened on Sunday, then he was sitting with the knowledge of the problem for five days. And he hasn’t told Rin.
“Of course I did.” He scoffed and flinched a bit when my hand touched his foot. They were in a rough shape, but I could fix them with one hand only. I would need Gabriel’s help with other deformations. Or maybe I could ask Rin? After I confirmed with Gabriel as he, for some reason, didn’t want Rin to see him half-naked.
“Let me think about it. I’m sure something can be done.” I began applying more energy to my logical pathways. There had to be a way.
First was to get the supermaterial, just a tiny amount would work, and then find someone reputable and knowledgeable enough to perform the procedure.
I checked the web stores and there were apparent listing for supermaterial in various quantities, but as Gabriel stated–it was expensive.
I didn’t have enough money for it and I suspected that Gabriel also might’ve been a bit poor considering that the reason he got into this situation in the first place was to gain money by fighting.
As my hand moved along the bottom of his foot, he spoke, “What happened to your arm?”
I glanced at him, but his eyes remained glued to the ceiling.
“I’ve been having some software issues.” Somehow true, if by software issues I meant a virus-like being who was able to take control of my limbs.
“You? Aren’t you like top-of-the-line?” He huffed in surprise.
“I might be, but the fact has been proving to be more of a detriment than anything.” At one difficult part, Gabriel’s leg flinched, “I’ve been kidnapped recently, you see.”
I wasn’t sure why I was saying it to him. I haven’t told anyone else, actually. Not even Cece.
I could see, from the corner of my eye, as his torso jumped and he propped himself on him elbows.
“What?” He was looking at me with shock and concern. Maybe my relationship with Gabriel was not over.
“That’s why I couldn’t accompany you on Sunday. I’ve been injured while I escaped and then this happened.” I nodded to my right arm, suspended in the makeshift sling.
Gabriel remained quiet but was looking at me with something akin to understanding. Right, he had his own demons from the past. People who wouldn’t leave us alone.
“I’m sorry.” ‘Sorry’? Ah, that was the optimal response to someone sharing something traumatic. Understandable.
“Fuck!” He exclaimed as he let himself fall back on the bed. “This whole thing sucks ass.” His hands covered his eyes and I was concerned as to his emotional state. It was looking to be in a disarray.
“It does.” I finished one foot and went to the other one.
As I continued to mend that part of him in tense silence, an idea popped in my head.
I drafted a message.
Hello, Cece. How well do you know Lyric?
I didn’t have to wait long for the response, although Cece deemed it better to call me. I hesitated as I was next to Gabriel, but speaking with a synthesized voice was possible while under a comm link.
“Excuse me, I have a call to answer.” I told Gabriel and agreed to the call.
“What is this about?” Cece asked me right upon me picking up the call. I suppose that was to be expected, as I did hang up on her today quite abruptly.
“Hello, Cece. I apologize for hanging up on you before. I was surprised by–” I hesitated, “a co-worker.” That worked well enough for describing Rin.
“Mhm. Alright. You’re forgiven. Now, what’s it about Lyric? Why do you wanna know?” She asked and I wondered what I should say.
“I am curious whether they possess any expertise in synthoid engineering.”
Gabriel flinched again at one rough spot, but besides that remained a very well-behaved patient.
“I guess they do. Lyric had a synthoid once and they experimented on it quite a lot. Don’t know what happened to it, actually.” Cece’s answer was filled with hidden curiosity. My question was out of the blue, so it wasn't surprising.
“I see. Thank you for the answer.” I said and Cece jumped at me with her own question.
“So, why are you asking? Did something happen?”
“I am searching for a solution to my friend’s problem, that’s all. You’re still going to see me later today, I imagine. We can talk some more then. How does that sound?” I proposed.
“Sounds fine. Text me when you’re close or even if you’re not sure about your way back. I can always tell Janey to go get you, y’know? I still have some favors to collect from her.” I wondered about the dynamics between the two.
“I appreciate it. See you later then. Bye.” I waited for Cece to also say her goodbyes and turned my attention back to Gabriel.
“I don’t have a certain solution to that fracture yet, but I might be able to find out more later today. Meanwhile, you could talk to Rin about it. She might have some insights on how to work this out.” I didn’t like how Gabriel was reluctant to share things with Rin. I thought the two were friends and if he couldn’t talk to her, who else could he talk to?
Gabriel’s mouth soured and then he simply said, “Fine.”
I guess I should not expect miracles. If I were in his position I would also be too tired by the incessant system warnings and the seriousness of the situation. He also had the additional problems of Moose and his friend Ember he mentioned once. The one for whom he wanted to fight.
“I think your feet will be alright now, but for other deformities I would need a second set of hands. Would you be comfortable if Rin helped me? I could teach her how to treat them too. Some will have to be adjusted twice at the very least.” If the deformation was deep and substantial enough, it would sometimes require two or more sets of massages.
“Is that really necessary?” He whined.
The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.
“Yes, it would help you feel better and make the flow of neutronium less chaotic.” Any energy adjustment was going to be helpful. If his body came back to the usual physical state, then neutronium would be able to channel itself more smoothly through the synthflesh and synthfiber. Therefore, allowing for better movement and comfort.
“Fine then.” He appeared to be reluctant at the idea, but Gabriel was not an idiot. At least mostly. I still couldn’t believe he went to fight again. Last time’s injuries looked like a warning, and these ones like a punishment.
I glanced to see if Rin was somewhere around and she was indeed still standing behind the closed doors. I opened them and said, “Could you help me?”
She nodded and I started telling her what we needed to do.
I didn’t think I’ve ever seen Rin as focused and serious as when she listened to how to treat Gabriel’s deformities. She really cared. My core thrummed with tentative satisfaction.
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After a thorough explanation of how to treat a synthoid’s deformities, Rin thanked me which was surprising, but maybe she was feeling a bit more mellow because of Gabriel’s state.
After that, I left the blond man with the promise that I would ask around for a solution. I also told him to talk to Rin about it. He agreed, but I wasn’t sure how sincere he was.
The maintenance pack I brought with me, Gabriel said I could save for myself as he already took some and didn’t need any more at this time. I thanked him and stashed it deep into the inside pocket of my coat.
Rin even offered to drive me to Agatha’s and I appreciated that.
I just wondered if I should have asked her to stay and wait for me as there was a real possibility I would be fired on the spot. Mostly because of my arm’s paralysis but also due to the way I was dressed.
Simple combat boots, my maroon trousers, Cece’s bright shirt and a synthleather coat on my back made me look more like a standard Contractor than a proper bodyguard.
A sling made of rags also didn’t help the image. My only hope was that the first impression I made and a big rifle case slung over one shoulder would be enough to let me convince her.
I thanked Rin again for the ride and went to the main doors of the multi-office skyscraper. Upon entrance, the same man I saw last time greeted me with a scowl and let me through to the elevator upon hearing the new code phrase. I wondered if he was also a Contractor or perhaps a direct employee of Miss Morrison.
As I was riding up in the small and intricately decorated cubicle, my core churned with slashes of nervousness.
I really didn’t want to lose this contract. The pay was good and with it, I would be able to gain funds and reputation as a Contractor. I knew how important a career was in every adult’s life, even when not among the corporate world.
If I were to live in this city then such a thing was imperative to secure. Even with the looming problems chasing after me and nipping at my ankles.
The elevator dinged as it arrived at the proper floor–the one beneath the meeting room.
I started to walk to the room at the end of the corridor and my logical pathways were buzzing with ideas and excuses I could use to secure myself this contract. Until Miss Morrison spoke, though, they were all just possibilities.
Upon entrance, Maria and Miss Morrison lifted their heads from their respective datapads.
“Hello.” I said and awaited the judgment.
Miss Morrison’s brows furrowed and then she told me, “You’re late.”
And that was that.
If I were human, I wouldn’t be able to stop a relieved sigh coming out of me.
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In the end, I wasn’t questioned as to my arm being in a sling and I couldn’t be more thankful for that.
The meeting looked the same as the last time and I was able to watch three people sweat profusely for a good two hours of mental torture Miss Morrison put them through.
If the meetings were more frequent, I was sure these three would develop heart problems.
After I left the building, I immediately stepped into a cab I asked Cece to order for me. It was a strategic move, as I wasn’t certain as to the way Fran-Mili was able to track me last time.
Could be numerous ways so caution was always the right move.
I texted her that I was coming and prepared myself to swiftly leave her in pursuit of Lyric.
I was quite certain that I wasn’t welcomed in the Blackwire’s ‘cave’ but maybe if I came in with the intent to only speak to them, it would be taken as not an act of aggression or some other unpleasant way.
I didn’t have their contact information and this was the only way I could communicate with them. I was worried, though, what the price for something like this would be.
Jane said herself that Lyric would ask for something in return if I needed materials to mend my own injures. Last time, they wanted to look into my engineering, as if I was just a specimen. It made me feel wrong. My skin crawled with uncomfortable tingles.
What would the price be for something like what Gabriel needed?
The taxi drive was swift and I found myself quickly moving through the queue leading to the nightclub. Apparently, the bouncer was now informed of my person and let me through with no difficulty. The first time was probably so easy because I was dressed rather fine and Cece did say that they were looking for people who would fit with the vibe of the nightclub. The second time was not a surprise then as I showed myself wearing rags and injured in several places.
Inside the nightclub, the crowd was wilding on the dance floor and I swiftly noticed Cece serving drinks to a group of rowdy men.
I waited for her to be done and then greeted her with a smile.
Still couldn’t get used to that.
“Hi!” She said and I responded in kind.
“Hello, Cece. How are you?” She was cleaning glasses with half her attention on me.
“I’m very well, thank you.” She seemed to be in a good mood. “Seems like it went well today.” I thought she referred to me arriving uninjured this time.
“Yes.” Then I took a pause to contemplate the right words. “I need to see Lyric. Is it alright if I go downstairs?”
Her dark eyes slightly widened with something akin to concern and displeasure. Did I do something wrong?
“Now? You just got here.” She put the glass down and turned her body fully to me. She was wearing an oversized shirt again. Did bartenders not have a dress code? There were certainly better uniforms to wear while serving drinks.
“I just have to ask them some things. It’s time-sensitive.” I stretched the truth a bit as Gabriel still had a week to deal with his fracture.
Cece pouted and I think I blanked out for a second as my eyes automatically started to rapidly blink and my core drummed with a strange need to touch her cheeks.
They were just so fluffy. I stilled my twitching left hand.
“Fine. Just be quick about it. It’s boring today.” She turned away from me and I quickly wobbled towards the nightclub’s backdoor.
I archived the last couple of minutes for further review as I was not quite certain what happened to me upon seeing Cece make that expression.
I saw Rin pout once, I thought, and I didn’t feel this strangely energized.
Anyway, I shook that thought away and focused on the reason I was here.
I walked slowly down the stairs and thought if this was the right way to go about it. My logical pathways said that this was the best shot at finding help for my fellow synthoid. If Lyric wouldn’t know how to help, maybe they would offer some information on someone who would.
Based on the information I saw flashing on the screens above their desk, they appeared to be well-informed.
I reached the doors downstairs and as I had no key to open the massive entrance, I knocked.
Twice, of course. Three screamed desperation.
I waited a good couple of minutes. There was some real possibility that nobody was there, but then I felt an electrical impulse reach the door’s console and a distorted voice came through.
“What do you want?” It was Dawid.
Right, that was an obstacle.
“I have a proposition for Lyric. Are they available?” I waited yet again for something to happen and then the doors opened.
My first view was of a broad chest, the second of a face shrouded in mystery. Dawid stood in the entrance and seemed to look over my body with a clinical precision. His dark eyes pierced through my arm in the sling, the rifle slung on my left shoulder and a coat filled with trinkets like my ID and a maintenance pack.
I looked at him as well and noticed grease stains on his hands and trousers. I wondered what they were doing here.
“Come in.” He stepped to the side and let me through. Perhaps he deemed me not enough of a threat.
Again, I was maddeningly curious as to why he was so confident around me. I could kill this man with just one punch to the jaw. There was no logical explanation as to his laid-back attitude.
“Thank you.” I said and upon entrance my eyes flickered to where Lyric was seated. They appeared to be busy.
“Follow me.” Dawid’s deep voice stimulated my hearing implants with its raspy quality and I followed along.
I thought he was escorting me to Lyric, but instead we stepped into his office. I wasn’t sure why, but I couldn’t feel anything off from him. The situation was relatively safe.
“What do you want with them?” He asked as we stopped before his desk.
Once more, I knew there were right words for everything, but I felt like this man perhaps did not deserve my usual politeness.
“Why do you want to know?”
“They work for me. Anything they do goes through myself.” The statement was made with a flat inflection and almost no emotion. I wondered what it would take to make this man scream. “I’ll ask again. What do you want?”
Perhaps there was no easy solution to this.
“I need their help. My friend needs their help.” I stressed the words as they left me. Lyric was their own people and yet, this man acted as if that wasn’t the case. Was having a boss really this stifling?
Dawid was quiet for a good chunk of a minute and then his SDI came to life with a swift ping. After that, I heard steps coming to our position.
“What’s up?” Lyric said as a greeting and upon seeing me, their eyes widened and mouth curled up. “So you’re back? As one of us?”
The second question they aimed at Dawid who grunted and said, “No.” Then he added. “Tell us what kind of help your friend needs.”
I had a sinking suspicion as to what Dawid was attempting to do.
Everything had a price, and perhaps it wasn't Lyric who would decide what that was.
“He has a fracture in the protective layer of his core. It needs to be mended with supermaterial.” At that, Lyric’s eyebrows jumped up and then they whistled.
“Seepage, huh? Serious business.” It would appear they knew about synthoids well enough to recognize the seriousness of the situation.
“So it’s dire?” Dawid asked Lyric directly.
“Oh, very! It could finish a synthoid off. Nasty business.” After that, they began to be confused. “So, what is this about?”
“Do you know how to treat it?” I asked and knew that I’ve fallen into Dawid’s plan when Lyric replied:
“Yep, mended my synth myself when I still had one.”
Dawid’s onyx eyes turned to me and my core surged with a violent surge of energy that creeped up my back in an uncomfortable manner.
Then, I noticed a subtle smirk slowly spreading across his face.
“Would you like us to help with that?” The deeper voice gained a lighter lilt and I had to squeeze my left fist with enough strength to have my synthfiber be audible as a creaking sound of it echoed through the makeshift office.
“Yes. I would.” It was for Gabriel. I would do this for him.