Abby stared out the window of Olly’s car with a half burned cigarette in her hand as the car cruised down the street. They were just cruising after having dropped Darius off at his house. Darius had not let them come inside even when Olly insisted. Abby found that strange but he had his reasons she was sure. Now they were going through the brightly colored neon of the bars and businesses that made the street seem a thousand different colors. Each business competing by having a more elaborate sign in downtown.
Abby had the backpack with everything she owned tucked to her chest between her chest and her knees as she took another pull from the cigarette.
It had been awkward between her and Olly since she had fallen asleep with him holding her. He didn’t make wise cracks at her anymore, it felt like an unspoken tension had settled over their friendship.
Sadness stabbed her in the chest at that thought. Had she fucked it up? She had really tried not to cry, and then Olly hugged her. She didn't know what she felt from that; she only knew that she felt safe . She didn’t ever want that little moment to end.
But Olly had tried to stand up and she had refused to let him leave.
He was just being nice, he was just being a good friend. Does he think I’m not pretty?
We aren’t pretty.
We aren’t good enough
Stupid little girl. Nobody even cares about you. Ask Dad. You’re a stupid pathetic little girl that cried in front of him and you think he would lower his standard for a trainwreck like you? UGLY on a good day. Ugly when you had time to have the audacity to try and look pretty.
Show him the SCARS on your thighs.
Covered by borrowed clothes.
Worthless little bitch.
You’d just fuck it all up anyways.
You’d just fuck it all up anyways.
You’d just fuck it all up anyways.
You’d just fuck it all up anyways.
You’d just fuck it all up anyways.
You will NEVER be good enough.
The scars will never FADE.
No one will ever LOVE you.
Just Kill YOURSELF.
Abby was yanked back to reality at the sound of Olly’s voice. She took a moment and put on a smile.
Pretty girls smile.
“What?” she asked, confused. She looked down to see the cigarette she was holding was just a filter, no longer even burning.
“You alright Abby?’Olly asked, shooting her a quick concerned look before returning his eyes to the road.
Abby nodded her head smally before flashing him another smile
Happy people smile.
“Yea I’m fine. Just zoned out is all” Abby said adding a cheerful tone to her well rehearsed lie.
They rode the rest of the ride in silence, Abby spent it staring out the window lost in thought. Olly put on some ancient hip hop. She didn’t mind his music but it was always artists she’d never heard of.
They finally arrived back at the trailer, and Olly’s mom had made her up an air mattress in the living room and basically force fed her until she felt like she might explode. They had canceled the get together for Abby’s 18th.She didn’t feel much like celebrating today.
Yet Olly’s mom had still made her an entire cake, candles and all.
Mostly Abby just sat there awkwardly as they sang happy birthday, she could barely remember the last time she had actually celebrated one. She then gave her a crisp twenty and Abby had protested saying it was her money and she couldn’t possibly accept it.
‘You hush up child and enjoy it. It’s your special day!’
Abby had just awkwardly thanked her and then got bombarded by a hug from the fiery woman.
Abby felt as though she was stealing, it was way too much but you could not tell Olly’s mom no to a gift.
Now she laid on the air mattress tossing and turning, with the hallway light still on.
She and Olly had still not talked much. He had just given her a brusk ‘goodnight’ and went to his room and closed the door.What if she had fucked it up? Abby stared at the ceiling and debated barging into his room and demanding the stupid boy speak to her. But what if she was overreacting and just looked stupid?
No. Fuck him. How dare he make her feel like that and then go all no contact? Was it that difficult to not make it weird?
Without so much as a second thought Abby huffed and stood up off the mattress and stalked off down the hall towards Olly’s room and stopped at his door with her hand raised to knock but she stopped.
You’re being stupid
Abby turned around to go back to the bed. She was overreacting; they had just cuddled. It wasn’t even that serious.
What if you’re wrong?
Abby sighed and launched back around to the door to Olly’s room and her hand came up but she froze again.
Then the door opened.
Abby stood there for what felt like a thousand years, her mouth formed into a small ‘o’ and her hand still up as olly stood in front of her wearing sweatpants……and no shirt.
Olly had his mouth pulled at the corner in that stupid little smirk of his holding the door open.
Abby had gone brain dead, every thing she was going to say to this ... .shirtless… Stupid boy had been deleted from her brain.
“You wanna come In?” Olly asked her suddenly with a hint of a chuckle behind his words.
Abby lowered her hand and remembered she was mad at him and opened her mouth to tell him what she thought about him and his offer to come in but she just stood there and gawked.
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Olly just shook his head and gave a small laugh before stepping out of the door way and into his room “c’mon goofy”
Olly has muscle?
Abby walked into the room with small awkward steps. She didn’t know how to describe it other than she felt heavy and breathless as she entered the room. Olly flipped the light on to the room and sat in the chair at his desk propping his face in his hand and his elbow on the desk with a shit eating grin.
Abby sat on the bed and drew her knees to her chest and only felt skin against her thighs.
Abbys stomach dropped to the core of the earth as she looked down and realized she hadn’t even bothered to put a shirt on. She had walked to this man's room wearing nothing but her bra and panties.
She felt her face heat up to a million degrees as she saw Olly throw her the black hoodie that was on the floor next to the desk. The hoodie landed next to her and Olly turned the wheeled office chair away from her laughing.
“What's so funny?”She asked, embarrassed and angry as she slid into the hoodie.
“I was wondering when you were going to realize”, Olly said, still chuckling. “Am I good?”
“No”, Abby said almost pouting “No you are not good”
“Why are you being so weird lately ?”, Olly asked
Abby shot a look of daggers into the back of his stupid curly haired head and said “How am I the one that's acting weird?”
“You just showed up to my room pacing back and forth and than I opened it to see you in your underwear goofball! Olly said with that same shiteating tone he had when he was holding back laughter.
“Am I good?" Olly asked yet again.
Fuck you. Look at the wall.
“No!” Abby shot back in a pouty voice.
“So are we going to talk about it?" Olly asked in a softer tone as he rotated the chair back around to face her.
“Talk about what?”Abby asked, more than a little annoyed crossing her arms.
Olly shook his head bemused and took the socket off of his desk before holding it to his lips and flicking the soft tongue of the lighter over it and taking a deep pull
Olly waved his hand over towards Abby and said “this” in a squeaky tone as he held the hit in.
Abby didn’t answer, she kept her arms crossed and shot him an angry glare.
Olly offered her the socket but she just continued to look at him angry.
Olly blew the smoke towards her and just said “ Suit yourself”
Abby knew she wasn’t really angry, only that she wanted that moment back but he was being so…well..him!
“Why didn’t you say anything to me during the car ride?" Abby asked, the words shooting out of her mouth before she could stop them.
Olly looked at her with an expression of amused bewilderment before saying “ I asked you if you were ok Abs, remember”
Abby shook her head and sat forward.
“Nooo. I mean like we used to before the..the other night”, She asked again this time she realized her voice had come out sadder than she had meant.
Olly looked like he was debating for a long time on what to say and the anxiety was like to kill her.
He’s going to say we’re reading too far into it.
OH no! He does think we’re ugly. Did we ruin it?
“Because I’m scared”, Olly confessed suddenly.
Wait…What?
“Why?" Abby asked, looking the stupid curly headed boy in the eyes. She saw him pursing his lips, deep in thought yet again. Before she could say anything Olly just ran his hands through his hair and stood, turning his back to her.
“Because…I want to be..more than just friends now Abs”, He confessed. His exasperated tone nearly a whisper.
Oh shit.
Abby felt like pouncing on the curly headed stupid boy, but not to hurt him. She felt giddy. Why was she angry again? But she didn’t know what to say.
Words had lost their meaning in this moment as she looked at the way his back muscles shifted under the skin when he moved.
Olly turned around to face her with a worried expression on his face and she was suddenly aware she had been biting her lip.
“Say something”, Olly asked with a tone that begged her to say yes.
Abby grinned at him and giggled when she said it. “Something”
Olly rolled his eyes and chuckled. “I’m serious Abs”
Abby grinned wider, as she slid off the bed and onto her feet as she walked over to where Olly was standing. She was looking up at him when his hand found the curve of her jaw and pulled her to her tippy toes and the only thing she was aware of was his mouth against hers.
His other hand found her hip and the touch sent electric shivers through her body as she pressed against him, suddenly annoyed that the stupid hoody was in the way as her own hands found their place digging into the soft skin of his back.
Olly pulled back, Breaking the kiss,
“Noooo”, Abby pleaded, opening her eyes to see Olly looking down at her with a hungry expression.
Abby had her hips pressed against him and she felt the warm length of his hardness pressed against her stomach.
Oh.
Abby had never, in her life, slept with anyone but she wasn’t scared. She wanted…. No. She needed him.
Abby looked back up at him as his hands caressed her hips. Abby looked up at him and bit her lip with a giggle before reaching down rubbing his dick through the sweats and nearly gasping as she tried to gauge just how large Olly was, from the tips of her fingers the warmth ran half way up her forearm.
“Abby, we shouldn’t”, Olly said, pulling back and the coldness of the air that replaced the warmth of his body that had just been there made her want to scream.
“Noo! Why?”, Abby asked pouty. As he pulled away completely.
Olly’s pants protruded in the front to the point the waist band was no longer touching his stomach as he again turned his back to her running his hands through his hair exasperated.
“What kind of message am I sending by fucking you before a first date?”, Olly said more than asked as he took a deep breath and put a hand against the desk to steady himself.
Abby wanted to scream, It had been perfect. She was intoxicated by his touch and now he wanted to pull this stupid shit?
Earth to Olly. I want to sleep with you!
The realization startled Abby. Just the thought of it made her feel breathless, weightless and she was painfully aware of the warmth between her own thighs.
Abby shook her head annoyed and practically screamed.
“Olly!”,
Olly whipped around to face her with an unreadable expression.
They stood that way for a long time looking at one another before Olly sighed and sat on the foot of the bed with his head in his hands and said “I am not going to treat you like meat, If we are going to do this we are going to do this the right way”, He said almost more to himself than to her.
We were so doing it right!
Abby sat next to him on the foot of the bed and rested her head on his shoulder. Without a word. He even smelled good to her.
Olly turned his head to her and lifted her chin with a hand, the touch nearly enough to make her gasp. She looked into his eyes as he spoke.
“I'm serious. I want to treat you right”.
“Olly you treat me better than right”, The words came out of her mouth a breathless whisper as she lost herself to the intensity of his eyes.
Abby looked down towards Olly’s crotch and saw the front of his pants still stretched out from the eagerness of his erection. It was pulsing with his heartbeat Abby noticed as she reached under the waistband and freed Olly’s dick from the confines of his pants.
Olly gasped at her touch but didn’t stop her as he let his hand fall to her thigh.
His length felt harder than marble in her hand and she gasped when she noticed it seemed to jump up and down with his heart beat. Before Abby could do anything else; Olly Lifted her off the bed and set her back down roughly with her legs hanging off the bed.Olly standing between her parted thighs.
Oh fuck this is happening
Olly lifted the hem of the hoodie and grabbed the front of her panties. The paths his fingertips carved on her felt in order to get under the hem of her panties sent shivers through her as he yanked the panties hard enough to physically lift her up before the panties gave away and bared her sex completely to him.
She felt her pulse at the junction between her thighs. Olly slid his fingers over her wetness and used it to coat his pulsating length.
Abby felt the moan escape her lips as she felt herself get filled so fully by Olly.
She forgot completely about the scars that rested in lines, so so high up on her thigh.
Nothing in the world had ever hurt half as good as that.