Danny looked at the photo of Him and Aelia holding a baby Abigail in front of the old house on Roosevelt Ave. He had Toilet paper stuffed in his nose and bottle in his hand.
Last year he might have had it in him to feel angry at the situation.
Last year he might have had it in him to run.
This year he didn’t care. Well to be honest He was seething and boiling underneath the surface. But he was also tired. Too tired to act on that anger. Too tired to care enough to do anything about it. They would come for him soon for ‘questioning’, but he wasn’t scared of prison. He was scared of what they would do to him when they found he whacked a made guy. Right or wrong you don’t get to kill a made guy. End of story. That's it. At the minimum there would be a meeting and he would be called in but it was a coin flip. Chances were they would pump two rounds into his skull as soon as his back was turned. Make it seem to him that he had nothing to worry about and then lights out.
Would the family go to war for him? He himself had never been made. He was a dime a dozen. Would they even believe him? Fat chance. Danny had put brains on the ground for suspicions of this very thing. He either went to the pen, requested PC as soon as he touched down and wrapped it up or got stabbed as soon as he touched down with that jacket.
Danny sighed and decided to just take the bullet. Fuck it.
If im gonna fucking die im gonna go like a fucking man. Danny thought bitterly. Hell he had one thing. He knew he was gonna die over this, at least he was pretty sure and thats more than most men got. For that he was thankful.
But in 36 years he couldn’t catch one fucking break? Yeah there was Aelia but losing her had hurt so fucking much some nights when it was quiet and he wasn’t drunk enough to hit the off button he would think about her and that hurt so fucking bad he wished it never happened. It felt like a black hole in his chest that burned cold.Heavy as an elephant. Some nights the tears would start and that racking sobs would feel like they would never stop. Like he couldn’t breathe. Like it was all he could do to curl up and throw a blanket over his head while he crumbled at the foundation.So he drank. He used to drink to feel something. Now he drank to feel nothing at all.
Danny chuckled at it all and took a deep fucking pull from the bottle as he sat in the living room Staring at the wall. The anger boiled up, rolled like a wave and then dissipated like sand in the wind. Numb.
That's when he heard the keys at the door. He looked over his shoulder to see the door open.
Abby stood at the doorway with some curly headed irish looking boy in a denim jacket and some black boy in a puffer coat.
“Hey Abigail…Can we talk babygirl?”Danny said.. No. Begged. Pleaded please baby .Rising to his feet. He tripped over the corner of the coffee table and came to his knees hard dropping the bottle which spilled.
“Fuck”, Danny sighed under his breath red in the face.
He looked up to see Abigail rolling her eyes and stalking off with a book bag in hand down the hall
I’m so sorry.
“Baby, who are your friends?”Danny asked, confused. He stumbled to his feet, Light headed and off balance from the whiskey. The curly headed boy stepped in front of him and put a hand on his shoulder before saying.
“Hey easy pal she don’t wanna talk”
The beast of his anger smashed through the numb and roared. Wrapped around his throat and rested behind his eyes. Whispering murder into his ear.
Danny swatted his hand away “don’t touch me boy” Danny spat
Danny prodded the boy's chest feeling the heat of his anger glowing white hot under the skin of his chest.
“I kill people you fuck, Think I won’t fuggin kill you too you mick fuck? Come into my house and tell me I can’t see my own daughter?”
Danny looked at the boy who stared back at him with a look of….digust? “You a mick?You look like one. ” Danny said, putting his face inches from the Irish kids. “Im talking to you, you dirty potato farming paddy fuck”
“Leave him alone”, The black kid said nervously from the doorway picking at his nails with a frightened expression.
“And a fucking nig-”
Danny’s face felt like T.V. Static when the blue lights flashed his vision. He heard the crash of glass and when he opened his eyes he was face down on the carpet with the remains of the coffee table in the carpet around him. His face throbbed with pain.
“Stay down man”, He heard a voice say.
Danny crawled to his hands and knees, he felt the sharp stab of pain from the glass in his knees but he didn’t care.
He looked around for his friend.
Jim was bleeding on the carpet beside him. He picked up the bottle tenderly and took a deep pull before standing up and facing the irish boy.
“You jus hit me french fry?”, Danny asked.
“Jesus fucking christ dad. It's not even noon”, Abby spat stomping towards the door. The irish kid backed away slowly and the black kid darted like a shadow out the door.
His anger deflated like a balloon whipping around the room, he needed to tell her. Talk to her. Make it all alright again.
“ABBY! Wait!”
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“GET FUCKED”, She shouted back as the irish kid nodded at him and closed the door behind him.
Danny plopped back down on the couch and took a pull from the bottle. He wouldn’t get to tell her goodbye. The bottle came down. The bottle came up.The bottle came down.The bottle came up.The bottle came down and Danny was out like a light.
Danny entered the diner hearing a soft tingle of the bell at the door, He adjusted his tie and gulped nervously.
‘Why the fuck did I wear a suit for this I looke like a sleazy lawyer’ He thought to himself. Then he saw her.
She sat at a booth in the corner.Her hair tied back in a tail of silk that streamed like a golden light over her slender shoulders. She had her cellphone out. Tapping away like crazy on the clamshell.Danny’s palms were sweaty, but he approached against his own will. His feet were just moving like they were saying ‘lets go dummy’
Danny approached the booth. She hadn't looked up.
‘Huh she’s wearing those hoop earrings’ Danny thought stupidly as she looked up at him with a small smirk on her lips.
“Hey Dan”, She said regarding him with an amused expression.
She flipped her phone shut with a sturdy clack
“You gonna sit down or stand there all day? Chillax you’re making me nervous”, She said gesturing at the booth across from her with a wide smile.
Danny felt the heat rise to his face as he took the seat. “Kind of didn’t think you would come”, He said awkwardly not knowing what to say.
“Why are you wearing a suit?”,She asked with a quizzical expression
Danny racked his brain for a lie, the truth was he had bought it purely to impress her. Sure he did favors for the Bernardi’s but fetching food and parking cars only paid so much. Fuck he was 17…ok 16 and a half but he had good dough in his pocket but not good suit kind of scratch.
“Oh for work”, Danny lied confidently as he fidgeted with his hands.
“Making suit money at work but you only have diner money to impress a girl huh?” Aelia interrogated with a sly smirk on her face
‘I am a fucking moron”, Danny thought to himself. He didn’t say anything to that. What could he say?
“You know Benjamin mentioned you…said you park cars”, She stated smugly blowing a bubble for effect.
“Hey dress to impress”, Danny lied smoothly “Besides what does Benny know he just hangs around some guys he doesn’t do nothing to write home about”
“Like parking cars?”, she teased with a small smirk on her face.
“Yeah, like parking cars” Danny confirmed, getting lost in the deep sea green of her eyes.
********
Danny opened his eyes to see the gray of the late afternoon streaming through the window next to the television. He saw the shattered coffee table. It hadn’t all been a bad dream.
“God Damn Daniel. You really aint got shit in this motherfucker.” A Voice said from the kitchen.
Danny felt his insides suck in as the fear washed over him. He whipped around on his feet to see two suited men in his kitchen.
One was a bald guy white guy who sat on the counter next to the fridge lazily pointing a pistol at him from his lap. The other was a Black man who also wore a black suit with a golden badge at his hip.
So the cops got here first.
“You know Daniel, I am disappointed.” He said with a wide eyed stern expression “See I could have swore I heard you call someone a nigger from the surveilance van out side.” He finished with a chuckle approaching Danny slowly.
He then took the badge off of his hip and held it up for Danny to see before saying “Detective Butler. “ He said with a long pause before cocking his head to one side with a smile so wide Danny could almost count his teeth.”The nigger thats about to take your ass to jail”
Detective Butler clapped his hands together suddenly before pointing to his partner on the counter. “That is Detective Rains. See detective rains here thinks we should just let the Serpico’s carve you up for what you did to poor Benjamin”
Danny opened his mouth to speak but Detective Butler held up his pointer finger to his mouth and shushed him.
Detective Butler then lowered his hand and grinned at Danny again before sweeping his arms over the room and continuing. “But than I said, Hold on now rains, He may be a racist fucking piece of italian white trash who deserves to die like a dog in the street….”He said stopping for what seemed like an eternity.
“But then I had the idea to write up the report that Mr. Petrov…..The Russian mobster you murdered….was able to return fire killing your ghoul ass looking coworker. And. That. No DNA. Was.Found.On.Scene.”
Danny regarded Detective Butler suspiciously.He knew what came next.
“But?”, Danny asked annoyed.
Detective Butler grinned and shook a finger at him, chuckling before saying “See Rain? I told you he wasn’t a dumb ass good for nothing racist drunk.”
Detective Butler strutted over to Danny who stood rooted in place and clapped a hand on his shoulder Before gagging and stepping back. “Got dayum motherfucker, you wash your ass sometime this year?” He asked, holding his hand under his nose.
Detective Butler took two large steps back before saying “All we need from your old musty ass is to go to work. Business as usual. Get us the evidence we need to put your greasy ass coworkers in prison…..then no harm no foul.” Detective Butler finished with a sweep of his hands.
“I ain’t no rat,” Danny hissed. “Better cuff me now”, He said holding his hands out in front of him.
Detective butler looked him with with a condescending expression “No,Danny; see we not talking about Prison here, We talking about walking away and letting nature run its course on you”
He reached into his pockets and pulled out his phone before showing Danny a Picture.
The picture was of some psycho wearing a clown mask holding up a pair of severed human heads.
“Meet the serpico’s newest nutjob Daniel”, He said with a chuckle and tucked his phone back into his pocket. “El Payaso he’s called, see. El Payaso here used to run with a cartel back in Mexico called ‘Los Sepultureros’”, he cleared his throat before continuing. “That translates to ‘the gravediggers’ for your white ass. See the clown here loves the shock value of targeting the loved ones of his actual target. Kill daughters in front of their fathers…for instance”, He said with a sly smirk.
Danny stood there with his mouth open for what felt like a thousand years. It wasn’t just him he had just put in danger. He had done his best to keep Abigail away from all this. No he couldn’t say that. He hadn’t ever bothered to try. The realization was a wave of cold that washed over him and sucked the breath out of his lungs. But then he realized, He had to do this.
“You would let that happen”, Danny said almost at a whisper.
“No. You wouldn’t let that happen. Right Daniel?”Butler asked innocently.
“What do I gotta do?”, Danny asked bitterly.
“I am so glad you asked Daniel, All you gotta do is go crawling back to the Bernardi’s with that fancy phone of yours and get us a little picture or audio recording every now and again.” Butler said with a sadistic grin.
He had this rat trapped by the tail.