General chat:
Beastman: Have you guys seen the rankings?
Yolkb4me: It hasn’t been a day, why would I…
Lionfury: LFG Lowbee village quests! I’m lost. Please send help.
Beastman: Some dude had already reached level three!
ThatDinosaurKid: Bullshit!
Yolkb4me: no way!
Stargirl: I’ve been grinding nonstop all day and only just barely hit level 2.
Beastman: Yeah, the forums are going nuts because his name in the ranking list is ???????
ThatDinosaurKid: I bet they're cheating.
Yolkb4me: What class are they playing?
Beastman: That’s just it… Noone knows.
Desmond didn’t have time to check the general chat. He had far more pressing matters to attend to. Because right in front of him was a bulging black slime looking to eat his face right off his skull. Its gelatinous internal body veiled by a thick dark membrane the colour of charcoal. He trembled as he spotted the white text underneath the beast’s name.
Elite monster.
“Oh nice, we’re all fucked!” Clemiticus said far too cheerfully.
Clemiticus has died!
Desmond barely had enough time to blink before the slime attacked the adventurer. Like a blob shot out of a cannon, the creature flew through Clemiticus, dissolving his body before he could even flinch. Melly bolted away as fast as she could while Desmond, with his level three PortalSmith could do nothing but back away slowly.
As if sensing his fear, the slime spun in place and pushed its form low, ready for the next pounce. Desmond turned to run but was instantly shown a blank screen with the words.
- 205 health.
YOU HAVE DIED!
Only one word went through his mind: Shit.
Pop!
Desmond opened his eyes once more, finding himself at full health and mana, ready to begin a brand-new attempt of an adventure. Beside him was the enigmatic Clemiticus watching Melly run for her life in the distance towards them.
“Run the other way!” Clemiticus yelled. “Serpentine! Serpentine!”
After a few valiant steps, the slime pounced.
Melly has died!
You would think Clemiticus would have some sort of reaction to seeing his friend perish before his very eyes. Instead, he just shrugged and waited for the inevitable popping sound that brought the screaming and shouting Melly back to life.
“Crap on a bloody stick!” Melly shouted her face set in a scowl. “I’m not going near that damn thing.” She pointed towards the black creature who had paused halfway between their spawn point and the trees.
Clemiticus nodded. “I think the town idea is far more appealing.”
Desmond nodded, eyeing the black mass of death before him. The shadowy creature was certainly terrifying.
“Well anyway, great to meet you and all but…” Clemiticus said quickly then fiddled with his belly button menu.
You have been removed from the party!
“We gotta go!” Clemiticus finished.
Desmond’s eyes widened. “What do you mean go?”
Clemiticus slapped him hard on the back. “I’ve taught you as much as I could, but now Melly and I will seek our fortunes elsewhere… Alone… Without you. In a place where you aren’t.”
“I get it.” Desmond sighed, while Melly offered a sympathetic smile.
“We are actually looking for our friends,” she offered. “We aren’t being rude. Well, at least I’m not.”
Clemiticus nodded nonchalantly. “Ph0en1x, my boy, you bring back luck.”
Though it stung, his words were true enough.
As if to prove Clemiticuses' point, a duo of popping echoed beside them as the newbies who had tried to kill the level one slime once more respawned. They hung their heads in shame as they walked among them and disappeared in the opposite direction of the trees, trying to get some distance between themselves and the evil level three slime.
Yet another example of the bad luck that seemed to follow poor Desmond around.
With a dejected nod, Desmond said, “I understand.” And watched Clemiticus and Melly follow the two newbies.
Clemiticus turned around and offered a friendly wave as they walked, which seemed to be counterintuitive. Almost as if he was pouring salt in the fresh wound.
The dude’s seriously weird, Desmond thought.
Desmond took a deep breath and, before he took a step forward, he wanted to see how much experience he had lost.
Character sheet: Ph0en1x [Title: Slime Hater]
Health points 41/41 Mana 14/38
(level three) EXP 00.00%
Class: PortalSmith
Stamina: 8
Strength: 7
Agility: 9
Wisdom: 7
Luck: 2
Charm: 9
Dexterity: 9
Intelligence: 12
Equipped items: Elvish village garb
Location: Elven Meadows
“Ah, good, you don’t lose levels if you die. Only a percentage of your current level.”
He paused for a moment, his eyes drifting on his title. “What? Slime Hater?” His face scrunched up trying to recall why he had such a title to his name. He couldn’t recall if there was a pop up for it. He pressed his belly button menu and scrolled through the various menus to find his history. As he scanned the list he spotted it.
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
Playtime history: Today
Welcome to Fanswald!
Level 1 (0.00%)
You have died.
-00.00% lost.
Portal creation (0.03% exp)
Portal creation (0.03% exp)
Killed lvl 1 slime (33% exp)
Portal creation (0.03% exp)
Killed lvl 1 slime (33% exp)
Portal creation (0.03% exp)
Killed lvl 2 slime (54% exp)
Level 2 (20.12%)
Portal creation (0.03% exp)
Killed lvl 2 slime (33% exp)
Portal creation (0.03% exp)
Killed lvl 1 slime (Party 3 (24exp) 8% exp)
Portal creation (0.03% exp)
Killed lvl 2 slime (Party 3 (33exp) 11% exp)
Portal creation (0.03% exp)
Killed lvl 3 slime (Party 2 (54 exp) 27% exp)
You have gained the title: Slime hater.
Level 3 (00.24%)
You have died.
-00.24% lost.
“Ah, I got it when I levelled, maybe the bells and whatnot distracted me or overruled it,” he said to himself. Without thinking, he clicked the title, wondering what it was for.
Title: Slime Hater.
Granted for Killing one of each type of passive Slime without provocation and without being hit.
Increases damage taken by Slime monsters by 15%
Increases damage done to Slime monsters by 15%
Instantly enrage hostile Slimes when entering their aggro range.
“That’s weird,” he said absentmindedly and ignored the useless prompt. As a PortalSmith, he didn’t really do any damage so the title, in his mind, was utterly useless. So instead, he focused on the more important information. He didn’t really lose anything for dying right now.
An idea flashed in his mind as he realised something important. That means if he went to attack the black mass of death, he wouldn’t lose experience, and better yet, if he could manage to kill the damn thing, he could actually gain a massive amount of exp. He crunched the numbers, trying to figure out the best course of action. Killing a slime his own level gained him one third of a level, while killing a monster one level above him gave him a little over half.
What would happen if I kill an elite monster?
Was it better to go over where the newbies were dying to kill a few level threes and twos under the far tree? It would be a safer option. Or should he instead opt to attack the black mass?
“Decisions, decisions.”
What was he going to lose for giving it a go? He glanced at his streamers chat.
Chat:
Viewers online: 0
“Good, that way I can make a fool of myself, and no one will notice.” Desmond scratched his chin, then decided. “Okay, I’ll try killing the black bastard then. Once I get the massive amount of exp, I’ll kill the small guys to get me the rest of the way.”
As Desmond took his first step towards his new strategic levelling exercise, the black mass turned on instinct. There was one important bit of information he overlooked.
Instantly enrage hostile Slimes when entering their aggro range.
Since poor Desmond was currently a lower level than the hostile Black slime who just so happened to be an elite, as soon as he took his first step, the Black mass had triggered it into combat. With a dark whirl of motion, the Slime flew into action. A flicker of fear rattled Desmond for a split second, then he gritted his teeth. Reminding himself he had nothing to lose.
His hands flicked up ready with his magical book about to cast a portal his eyes on the prize.
The oozing monster bounded into the sky, then bobbed and weaved. Desmond couldn’t even blink. The timing was crucial. With a ripple on its black surface, the Slime narrowed in on its target and lunged.
Desmond silently counted. 3, 2, 1.
“Open minor portal!” Desmond shouted confidently, but to his horror an error message bleeped red.
Portal failed to open. Target portal is not in line of sight.
-205 health.
YOU HAVE DIED!
Desmond's sight was filled by the all too familiar blank screen enveloping in a happy cloud of disappointment. He sighed into the darkness as a popping sound brought him back to like.
His breath caught in his throat at the black mass shifted inches away from his face. As long as he did not move, he was safe.
Okay, Desmond think.
He carefully held out his hand. The Slime didn’t budge, it wouldn’t attack until he moved his feet. Breathing a sigh of relief, he flashed open his spell book. As he peered into the black mass before him, he realised why he couldn’t create the portal inside the beast. Its silky membrane wasn’t see-through like the others.
If I create the portal behind the Slime, will it rush into the portal in front of me?
It wasn’t like he had any other options. He glanced behind the Slime and opened his mouth.
“Open minor portal.”
-15 mana.
It worked! A portal had been created behind the slime its twin, between them.
“Okay.” It was now or never. He needed to try it, so he jumped backwards, lunging as far as he could.
The level four elite slime twisted in place and instantly pounced. Like poking your finger into the middle of a balloon, the slime's surface distorted as it came dangerously close to absorbing him. Desmond fell back away from the beast, scurrying away as a tearing sound rippled within the black mass.
-15 mana.
With a loud bang, the Slime burst like a balloon splashing everywhere.
Slime level four has died.
Gained EXP.
BING!
A singsong voice echoed, “Ph0en1x has gained a level!”
As the innards of the beast splashed his legs, he flinched. “Shit!”
Health points -10.
Desmond scurried away further, trying to scrape the sticky burning liquid from his pants.
Health points -10.
“No! No! No! No! No!”
Health points -10.
His hands fell to his pants in a panic only for the liquid to splash more over his front.
“Shiiit!”
Health points -10.
He was about to resign himself to yet another death and closed his eyes, but the death never came. Instead, the magically empowered stomach acidic flickered as the life force of the slime dissipated, turning the liquid into harmless water. Breathing heavily, Desmond heaved on the ground in a mild panic, wondering why he’d been so lucky.
With a quick glance, he noted his remaining health.
4/44 health.
“That was close,” he muttered to himself. Then a revelation hit him. He had somehow levelled again. Was this game supposed to be this easy?
He quickly looked through his history and found the elite monster had given him one hundred and fifty-four percent, and that wasn’t all. With a slack jaw, he gazed into the watery corpse of the black Slime and spotted a small wooden box. With a trickle of excitement, he bounded for the box and tore his finger around its metallic hinges. His eyes bulged as he read the description eagerly.
Achievement Reward Chest:
Gained a class specific reward for defeating an elite creature above your level without a party.
Open to receive a class specific reward.
Required to open: Level 5
“An item for my class? What kind of Items would a PortalSmith use?” he wondered aloud. “Bah, I need level five, though.”
He eyed the remaining slimes, and a sense of green filled his mind as he quickly went to work. Every time his mana ticked back to full health, he summoned a portal ending a clear lesser slimes life.
Unfortunately, it seemed the experience he gained from killing a lower-level monster was drastically lowered compared to anything higher or the same. Making sure to keep his distance when his mana was low, since he was now a Slime magnet.
Playtime history: Today
You have gained the title: Slime hater.
Level 3 00.24%
You have died.
-00.24% lost.
You have died.
-00.00% lost.
Portal creation (0.03% exp)
Killed lvl 4 elite slime (154% exp)
Level 4 (54.03%)
Portal creation (0.03% exp)
Killed lvl 1 slime (8% exp)
Portal creation (0.03% exp)
Killed lvl 3 slime (33% exp)
Portal creation (0.03% exp)
Killed lvl 2 slime (24% exp)
Level 5 (19.12%)
With a roar of triumph, Desmond pounded the air. He couldn’t believe just how mar he’d come so quickly. Eagerly, he assigned his points and prepared himself for his first ever item.
Character sheet: Ph0en1x [Title: Slime Hater]
Health points 47/47 Mana 52/52
(level five) EXP 19.12%
Class: PortalSmith
Stamina: 8
Strength: 7
Agility: 9
Wisdom: 7
Luck: 2
Charm: 9
Dexterity: 9
Intelligence: 16
Equipped items: Elvish village garb
Location: Elven Meadows
General chat:
ThatDinosaurKid: Seriously, what the heck is he doing? Are the dev’s even checking up on him?
Beastman: FIVE?!?!? WTF Bullshit… The next guy in the ranking is only level three five minutes ago. Everyone else is two and a half.
Yolkb4me: I wonder if he’s going to make a guide?
ThatDinosaurKid: I’m reporting his ass…
Yolkb4me: How? We don’t even know the guy's name.
Stargirl: I’m getting 0.2 per goblin kill and each kill takes me a few minutes.
Beastman: People on the forums are investigating him now.
ThatDinosaurKid: … no response yet from the dev’s
Lionfury: Shit! I got stuck inside of the well at Lowbee Village. Please send help.
Yolkb4me: As soon as I find out that guys' class, I’m re-rolling…
Beastman: same…