“Don’t.” Kaden said. “I can put you on the floor with [Mana Drain] and I will. You’re way out of your league.”

Whether it was his speech or just not attacking, slowly, the rage in her eyes retreated. Carwon blinked and looked around, then down at her own bloody hands. “Was this me or you?”

“A little of both,” Eve said. “I’m low on mana. Do you need healing?”

Kaden shook his head and pulled a healing potion to sip, then offered it to Carwon. “How many more below?”

“I don’t know. Their commander was alive and may still be, and if we’re really unlucky, the woman who runs the packs is here. Your [Unono] will be right before the bottom level. Good luck touching it. The whole level is designed around not touching it. The ooze will knock you out.” Carwon peeked down the stairs. “I’ll let you lead.”

Kaden headed down quickly, Rembrance ready. No one waited below, but dead fungaloids littered the ground. “Spores. This was a debuff level. And they weren’t killed by [Mauraders].”

Eve studdied the burns. “These are spells. We’ve got a [Mage]. Or had one.”

The next level was traps. Active traps, mostly spear traps. Kaden took every spear, then trotted back through. “It doesn’t make sense. I don’t think anyone could have gone through here.”

Carwon looked at every trap. “I’ve heard of mages who can Portal from one side to the other.”

“That’s not how that spell works,” Eve said. “Maybe it’s a Class ability.”

Every level grew larger. This one was barrels, floating barrels in black liquid. Moving among them was what looked like an eel, coverend in glowing purple slime. It bumped barrels as it passed, making them sink or roll.

“We’re not doing this,” Kaden said. “Eve, when I tell you, hold onto me as I reach. I’m going to pass out, when I do, treat it like a Status condition.”

He dipped his hand into the water.

The reaction was immediate.

The eel-creature swam his way, rattling floating barrels and making them roll and slosh. Kaden focused on [Soul Binding], reaching, touching—

You have

A wave of pleasure swept over him. The world bled colors and sounds and it was like receiving a foot massage in a bath that went on an eternity, and every moment, it got better. Kaden could—

Bound a beast (Unono)

Kaden opened his eyes to look up at Eve. He lay on the edge near a barrel. The [Unono] swam in lazy circles nearby. “It’s a dungeon beast. We can’t remove it.”

“Then we harvest as much slime as it can give,” Eve said.

Kaden drew a jar from Inventory, and a wooden cooking spoon. What followed was a careful dance of positioning and scraping along the eel’s body, then putting the slime in the jar.

“I’ll carry it. You’ve already got a dozen [Marauders].” Eve tucked the jar and spoon away.

His high agility made hopping accross on the barrels an easier taks. That and the Unono being friendly and not jarring barrels or attacking. In less than five minutes he’d crossed the floating barrel filed and demanded a Portal into existence. “Step right up, this is the easy way. And that’s how Portal actually works.”

Carwon stared as she stepped through.

Eve accepted his offered hand. “Well done. The boss floor should be just below us.”

Kaden led the way down. The boss room was three times the size of the one above it, a round track encircled the room, and a mechanical monster was meant to roll around the outside, firing spears and arrows as Adventurers worked through a maze of thorns, razor wire, flooded pits with floating barrels, and worse.

Except that the boss lay smashed, tipped over into the maze.

Small fungaloids ran in circles around it as Kaden walked the wide track. “Stay back, I’ll deal with the shrooms.”

As he approached, one turned and began to bob and wiggle back and forth.

*We’re sorry, Dungeon Master, but the Princess is in the other tower.*

Kaden blinked and studied the two-foot tall fungaloid with its jaunty red cap. “What ‘other tower’?”

It pointed with stubby arms. The stairwell continued downward.

“It’s an inverted tower,” Eve said. “We climbed down one, now we’ll climb ‘up’ another, all the while going deeper. Will the rooms get larger?”

“We never made it past here,” Carwon said.

Kaden didn’t wait. He headed around the room edge and down. “It’s smaller.”

“Coming!” Eve ran to join him with Carwon on her heels. “How many [Mauraders] were in here?”

“Twenty. I saw five die, the scout pack. We killed thirteen. The problem is, I haven’t seen their commander.” Carwon paused as they cleared the stairwell. Another trap room. This was barrels stacked above checkered squares.

Kaden tapped a square with a spear, and watched the barrel dump black ichor. “It’s just poison. Stay there.”

He walked straight across, ignoring the deluge, and opened another Portal. “Not even good poison.”

Carwon stared.

“It’s really not worth asking,” Eve said.

The floor below was a liutenant room, with two mechanical snakes torn to fragments by an explosion that had left bits of them embedded in the stone. And the floor beneath that presented a real problem.

The stairs were gone. The floor was gone.

Fragments of stone had fallen to the level below, and caved in a portion of that room as well.

Eve pointed down. “If you’re moving fast enough, I think you can make it to that ledge. From there, it’s only twenty feet to the rubble below. We can follow via portal.”

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

“Hold on.” Carwon summoned her ball and chain and flung it downward to strike the rubble mound. “Slide.”

Kaden leaped off and slid down the chain, landing near the ball. “Eve, I’ll catch you.”

She didn’t jump as much as fall backwards, trusting him to cushion her fall.

Carwon leaped and triggered a skill that pulled her to the metal ball. She skidded down the rubble mound and dismissed her chain. “The ‘top’ should be below here. If there’s a commander, we’re going to be in close quarters.”

Kaden was ready.

He located what remained of the staircase. “I have [Stealth Aura]. You two stay close.”

The two spread out to stand just behind Kaden on either side as he activated the skill and crept down the stairs.

A Dungeon Core floated on a pedastal, dark murky brown, while a woman in a bright pink dress pointed an umbrella at it. “I said, give me a [Wishstone]. I won’t say it again.”

Kaden tried to activate [Identify]

[Princess Pear - Warrior Princess]

The Fungaloid kingdom is ruled over by their princess, who is technically a Queen, but who’s going to tell her otherwise? Drawing her attention is the origin of the phrase ‘going Pear shaped’ as once she arrives, destruction follows. Her kingdom isn’t a sewer, but she’s currently realizing it may not be in the best shape.

Level: 35

HP: 9,000

Mana: 18,000

Skills:???

Talents: ???

Titles: First and Last of Her Name, Pretty in Pink

First off, this was ridiculous. She had stats that rivaled most bosses and was only a handful of levels higher. Nine thousand HP was too much to slash and bash. Kaden would need to be careful and smart—Carwon screamed as she charged, throwing razor chains.

“I think not!” The princess’s voice came out soft and cheery.

Carwon stumbled over her own feet and lay limp.

You have come under Authority.

Kaden shook it off. He knew Dominion and Authority. “Leave the core alone.”

“Such a big, strong, handsome man!” Pear said, beckoning. “Come save me from the monsters.”

Kaden’s vision swam, and he shook as he wrested control back. “Leave the core and I’ll let you go.”

“That would make me very sad,” She sang out. “You dont want me to be sad. Come, carry me out of this terrible tower. I don’t want to get muddy.”

You have come under [Princess Power].

It wasn’t a fight. The words just made sense. He didn’t want her to get muddy. He didn’t want to fight. He definitely didn’t want to split Eve’s head open with Remembrance and then cut her throat with the Levicon blade while Trinity devoured her face, or set her on fire with a match lizard, or let Rocky bash her to death as long as Rocky didn’t have to move or swing.

“I said, pick me up.” Pear’s statement contained a thousand times the power. Kaden ran to her and lifted her up, cradling her so she didn’t get blood on her if he accidentally choked Eve to death, bashing her head into the wall.

“Kaden, put her down.” Eve spoke clearly, calmly.

Maybe that was the problem, he was supposed to pull Eve’s tongue out. But that, too, would get blood on Princess Pear. Something was wrong here and it was either Kaden or Pear or Eve and he couldn’t think clearly.

“You, cut your own throat,” Peach said.

Eve drew the short dagger she carried, staggering forward. “No! I can’t—I can’t—Help me—please, you disgust me.” She slapped Pear with a wooden spoon covered in Unono ooze.

Princess Pear collapsed, a delerious smile on her fae.

Kaden mentally gasped, shaking his head clear. “What the hell was that?”

“She’s royalty. Don’t you think at least once in history a knight has arrived at a tower, exchanged five words with a Princess and said ‘It’s not worth it. I’m going home?’ That skill is meant to prevent her being abandoned.” Eve spoke with clear disgust.

“She used it to build an empire of [Marauders],” Carwon said. “And as soon as she wakes up, she’s going to kill you, Eve. You’re a rival, she’s a Queen. She’s got to understand that losing to you means the System give you her Kingdom. Princess.”

Eve faced Carwon, hands on her hip. “You don’t even know what that means. First born or the fifty eighth, it’s just a title. I don’t want her kingdom, even assuming it still exists.”

“That’s not going to matter. You haven’t heard the bards sing about her. She leaves only corpses and ashes and desolation in her wake. They’re depressing songs, really. I’m not sure why anyone asks for them, but she will come for you when you least anticipate it and finish—”

Kaden cut Pear’s throat with the Levicon blade and kept sawing until he got the notification.

You have killed the Queen Deidra Pear.

You have gained experience.

You gained a level.

You have gained an epic title: Queenslayer

[Queenslayer]

You faced the might of second tier royalty and survived their powers, at least somewhat. You are no longer affected by [Authority]. Put them all in their places, even if that place is a grave.

Kaden stored the corpse and tossed the head into a barrel, the looked to the core. “Any chance I can get a Portal out of here for me and my friends?”

You have completed a Quest: Rescue the Tower from the Princess!

[Quest Master] is active.

You have received: Entity Seed Set (Matched).

Kaden checked his inventory. One was for a [Bogwalker], the stump-like creatures he’d practiced [Battle Axe] on. The other was a [Bog Spider Nest], and a plant-like crocodile whose tail was a nest of roots that anchored it. Very nice. Rare entity seeds that would form a thematically complete section.

A sparkling blue portal opened, and a loot orb appeared at one side of it. Kaden accepted the loot orb. “[Hangman’s Noose]. Some kind of weapon. Who wants to leave?”

Eve and Carwon hadn’t stopped staring, both of them looking at him in shock.

“You killed her.” Carwon whispered. “You just…killed her. You didn’t even ask if it was the only way. You didn’t wrestle with the moral dilema or debate or agonize. You just killed her. You have to agonize over it!”

“She tried to mind control me. Successfully. She would have killed Eve,” Kaden said. “I don’t give a shit what Eve’s family is. Whether the threat is some [Maurader] or a woman in pink, Eve’s still part of the Party. And if you think I’m going to leave someone to come back for her when we’re not looking, you don’t know us. Eve?”

She looked unsteady as she joined him. “I want to go back to Trunistan. Can we do that?”

“Of course.” Kaden waited for Carwon. “You still have the FarPortal coordinates?”

“It’s in the village outside,” she answered.

Eve stopped just before the portal. “The only thing outside this tower is a swamp that goes on for twenty hours.”

Carwon gave Kaden a wide bearth as she stepped through the Portal with Eve behind her.

Kaden looked to the core. “You’re a fungus core. Can you deal with the head for me so we don’t risk a resurrection?”

The Core glowed brightly and the barrel he’d tossed her into bubbled and fizzed—then split, spilling mounds of bugs.

Only a gleaming skull remained.

Kaden put it in Inventory. Skully had been a good monster. It was time to go back to Trella. Dawn was close at hand, but Kaden was amazed at the transformation as he exited the Inverted Tower. The lifeless bog had changed to a deep green swamp that stretched far away.

“We can share the raft,” Eve said. “Kaden, do you mind?”

Kaden waded into the swamp water and took the chains. “All aboard. Or stay here, you don’t have to come. I’m about to send word to the Guildmaster. What rank and level was that dungeon?”

“Rank four,” She said, still stairing. “Are we not going to talk about how you cut a woman’s head off? The Adventurer’s Code says we can kill all the monsters we want, but people are off limits unless it’s really justified and we feel bad about it. There’s still time to show remorse. There’s time to flog yourself over the price of human life. Don’t you care about the Adventurer’s Code?”

“Not a bit.” Kaden dispatched the [Falcrow]. “Last chance. There’ll be someone here to run the dungeon soon. The door doesn’t lock, so you can hide in the dungeon at night.”

Carwon crouched down behind Eve, grasping the edge of the raft as she stared at Kaden.

Kaden pulled.

###

At that the FarPortal, Eve gave Carwon a gold piece and contact information. “Cutter Karn runs a fierce party, and even better, she has contacts all over. She’ll find you a Party.”

Carwon took the coin and backed away into the FarPortal.

“I’m shocked you didn’t invite her back to the Holding,” Eve said.

“Remember how I picked up skills to read body language? She’s terrified of me. Like, I seriously expected her to jump off the raft and run straight into the portal.” Kaden couldn’t joke. “I have no regrets. Trying to save everyone just risks the people who matter to me.”

“Thank you.” Eve spoke softly. “That means a lot. What will you tell the others?”

Kaden shrugged. “She hit me with a compulsion. You hit her with a spoon. You can relax, we don’t care.”

“I care.” Eve activated the FarPortal and together they stepped through, coming out in the middle of a courtyard of FarPortals. Eve listened as a Messenger Bird landed. “This way. Mistress Scylla bought a house near the city wall. She says for me to tell you not to send a bird to Trella and have you go straight there.”

Kaden ran.