This is getting bothersome.

First, the time I spent doing nothing at all. Second, the time I spent trying my best to infiltrate something. Third, getting to realize that my opponent was a plant. Not even a cool plant, like a magical tree, but some grass. Grass. The kind you piss on. Is this a prank?

At least the sun feels good. It is… odd to describe. The best I can come up with is that it feels like a massage, but also like a superb meal. Something else I noticed is that my original body is still in this plant. I can still move my cell freely, but the plant cells are kinda stiff. It is probably because the plant cells got proper cell walls. But I can bend! And harden too! How that would work, I don't know. But if something gets a little funky with me, it's going to get real fucking bloody around these parts. Waiting with great calm for something to get close, always sharpening my blade grass blade. Maybe some dumbass will think I'm a legendary weapon if I get cool looking enough?

Yeah, yeah! Let's do that! But how? I'm not going to waste my time by doing my signature move over and over again, so how would a plant do it? It's not so simple as to just grow quicker, right?

It is.

All I had to do was to spread my roots through the roots belonging to the dumber grass and cut off their supply of minerals and water! And there isn't even a single thing those dumb fucks can do about it! Despite all of my suckling of resources, I'm not really growing upwards any quicker than the rest. Maybe the problem is with my host? My own nucleus is empty, but I didn't check with the other inferior cells in here. I'm kinda scared, because they are alive. The hormones and other juices move around without me having to do anything. God, I feel like a child entering the principal office. Here goes!

It's beautiful. Not even fucking around. Ribosomes floating in random clusters. Towers of chloroplast organized in towers, with the nucleus looking like a small sun firing mRNA in random directions. The vacuole is the only ugly thing in here, but even then it still looks nice. Enough gawking at the insides of a plant cell, my own cell is so much cooler. Like how I don't even need ATP to survive! Yeah, you assholes didn't know that. Please, no need to get excited. Anyway. Let's look closer at this, nucleus. Focusing closer at this thing. Yepp, a right fucking mess, alright. Chromosomes scattered all over the place, looking like a great pile of alphabet spaghetti. Mostly X and Y shaped, no Os. A lot of gene coding happening, yada yada, boring. How do I manual control this bad boy, daddy wants a new ride.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

From an outside perspective, the single odd blade of grass is slowly getting wider, then slightly thinner and finally growing slightly longer than the rest. Days go by. The moon, or rather the three moons, shines its glow on the forest. Howling in the distance can be heard, but with no ears and being too far away to feel it, Vita is slowly learning how to control the poor plant.

It works! Look at my great work, and cry your souls out, you peasant grass relatives! Soon, something will come upon my edged form and take me with it for a great journey to slay whatever exists in this world! Thanks to the kind donations from my neighbors and my own intelligence, I am growing quite nicely. Plus, one of my edges are actually sharp, the others are a little thicker for more style points. Talking about style points, I think- I mean- I DID change the color on my body, so now I look even cooler. I know it is a red looking color, but I am a little worried how the wax will look like. But who wouldn't love to have a sick, red colored living blade that keeps itself sharp no matter what. Oh!? What is that I sense with my roots? A shaking of the ground! Something is nearby, maybe it can see my dashing looks. C'mon, can't you see how I sensually wiggle my form? It's getting closer! Yes, pick me up and bring me close to your face, so I can cut into it and take over your body! Yessss. Closer… Almost there..... N-

A horned rabbit, common to the forest floor, can be seen nibbling on some dancing pink plant. The rabbit, lacking pigment in its fur, has red eyes and a small horn used for fighting. Eating its meal, a small, high-pitched noise can be heard. Unfortunately for Vita, the rabbit is too busy looking out for predators.