“Ah, hey, look what I found.”
I feel the hand grasp me, and satisfaction fills me once more. It seems I have not been forgotten. It seems that I may once more feel the pleasure of hewing men in two. But first I must learn more from my wielder.
“Gosh, it’s quite heavy, ain’t it?” Hmm but it feels right in hand.
It seems my new holder seems quite stupid. There is no other weapon my equal, yet instead of commenting on my beauty, he mentions my weight. Even squirming squires know how rude that is. Yet his stupidity seems like it could be useful, as he doesn’t seem to feel the connection holding me has forged. For once, perhaps, I could be the dominant one in a relationship.
“What is it?” Hmm, another voice this time. Why are they confused about what I am.
“I dunno.” Its definitely a weapon. No duh, you imbecile. Perhaps I should not be happy having been found by a person who clearly does not understand my worth. That said, it has been quite lonely.
“It looks like a big axe.” An axe!? You compare me to a lowly axe?! I don’t chop wood, I chop people; knights along with their horses, kings with their crowns, and peasants with their pitchforks, NOTHING can keep me from cleaving any of my wielder’s enemies in twain!!!
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“Nah, it’s too pretty to call it an axe,” my stupid but stalwart new friend comes to my defense, although I don’t yet know if that is due to my influences on his mind, or if he truly thinks that. Still, it is quite embarrassing to be told that, and his newfound respect for my figure goes far to bring him in my good graces. Perhaps I won’t completely dominate his mind. My previous holder had a weird creature he called his pet, perhaps my new holder will be mine. Perhaps if I bring it to a scholar, someone may be able to tell me what it is called? Ha, why would a scholar know what a warrior’s weapon is called? They only know books and words.
“Does it matter, though. I still think we should get out of here. This tomb gives me the creeps.” Ha, another reason to hate my wielder’s companion. Not only is he insulting, but he is a coward as well. I know what I must do. That said, I will wait until we leave this cavern, last thing I want is to be left behind and be forced to wait another several hundred years.
Together, they walk in a direction that I can only assume leads to the entrance. My new wielder embarrassingly seems to struggle to carry me properly, needing using my haft as a walking stick to support my shapely blade. It seems that we have something to work on before I influence him to kill his disrespectful companion. Still, with his lacking intelligence, I suppose I should be glad he doesn’t do something as unsightly as dragging me across the ground.