On an uneventful day, in a year that holds no significance, a group of filibusters began planning a war against Costa Rica.

They weren't actually filibusters; they called themselves the American Renaissance Congregation, but everyone said they were just cheap copies of filibusters—too afraid to attack countries with armies, they chose to strike at one without.

Their founder, William Walker II, persuaded a large group of people in Texas to join him, so quickly that it seemed the majority of the state had been simply waiting for that opportunity. Their movement was so successful that even the President of the United States had to speak with him in the White House.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Walker, a pleasure to have you here," greeted the President with a friendly smile on his face.

"Good afternoon, Mr. President," replied William as he sat down in the chair opposite the presidential desk; the President never offered him that chair.

Both men stared at each other for a while, waiting for one to start speaking, until the President stood up from his chair and looked out the window, turning his back on the other man.

"Do you hear that, Mr. Walker?"

William strained his ears, trying to hear something. However, he couldn't hear any sound.

"I hear nothing..." he replied, confused. Nevertheless, the President continued.

"Since the beginning of my presidency, every day at this same time, I hear the singing of those birds. At first, they drove me crazy; I even asked for them to be hunted down. But miraculously, I got used to them. Yes, I could still hunt them, but I found them useful—they tell me the time without me needing to look at my watch..." After saying this, Walker tried to listen to the birds that the other man could hear, but there were no birds nearby. The President turned around and began shouting with the fury of a thousand thunderstorms. "You're fighting against the powers and authorities of this world, Mr. Walker, and none of them will waste their resources on your delusions! Do you understand? Tell me, do you think it's just us against them? They have been part of us for a long time, but people like you are too inept to realize it! We have conquered your country for years, we have been slowly destroying your culture, even bringing you to the brink of bankruptcy! So no, Mr. Walker, it's not us against them; they are with us, for us, and by us. We have become their daily lives, their husbands and wives, lovers, sons and daughters, pets, heroes, gods, idols, and saints. Thanks to globalization, the unchanging system of our planet, established by no one but the system itself, which creates and develops the natural laws of all living beings, allowing our country to flow eternally as the first world country it is. For God's sake, whenever you look up, do you see any advertisements for Costa Rica? No. However, they do see advertisements for ours every day, whether it's through the latest Netflix series of the week, the Marvel movie of the year, video games, their mandatory English classes, fast food they eat, posts they look at on the internet; and if it's not from us, it's from another country, like anime, boring European films, any religion, K-Pop, the current soap opera, reggaeton, or the prequel to the next book of a bunch of stupid English kids going to a magical school! Through this beautiful and absolute integration of integrations, we remind them who's in charge, without needing any violence. They have slowly become our allies. They are our birds singing in the afternoon, Mr. Walker; they have been since they started interacting with us years ago. To them, we are the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, the prophets and the apostles, and they are our followers. The system no longer lives off us, Mr. Walker. We are the ones living off the system. Currently, the Earth belongs to all of us. However, you and your group of racist maniacs want to break that system of systems! And if you continue, you will pay to the last cent."

Upon hearing this angry speech, William was completely stunned. However, he stood firm; now it was his turn to speak.

"You... do you think I don't know that? I mean... who doesn't know that? Everyone knows it, even them..." he commented, referring to the Costa Ricans. "No... I... I want to do something with my life... When I was young, they told me my life had value, that I would achieve all my dreams. My father was a banker, so we had no complications... And I almost did it, almost fulfilled my dreams! I went to school for six years, five to college, got a postgraduate degree in classical literature, was president of the Debate Society at my university, got a doctorate in medicine, continued my studies in Paris and other countries and... then I realized I chose the wrong career... I was supposed to be content, supposed to be happy, but I wasn't. So I decided to study Law, then found a better place and worked as a journalist and then met my fiancée... And... still, it wasn't... happy as it was supposed to be. I mean, yes, I was happy, but I thought it would be different... And despite everything, at least with her I felt satisfied. She cheered me up on bad days, so it was enough... Then Ellen died, before we could marry, and I was left alone, and that made everything worse! And I don't understand why she had to die like that, no... She deserved better and everything went to hell so quickly... And when I tell someone this they look at me with pity and say, 'Oh, I'm so sorry.' Everyone, everyone feels so sorry, but the truth is no one cared. That's what I've really learned. Does anyone think I'm selfish? They have no right to speak! I'm also a human being, I also have the right to be happy and be remembered! So no. No, Mr. President, I'm not going to stop. I'm going to make history. I'm going to help my country... And yes, maybe we are slowly conquering them already, but it can be done quickly and safely, because in the end, who can stop the United States of America? Russia, China? Who, really, who cares about a third world country like Costa Rica?"

The President simply sighed upon hearing this and nodded disinterestedly.

"Well, alright..."

"Alright...?" stuttered William, confused. "Alright? I... thought it would be more complicated... Are you really going to help us?"

"Oh, no, not at all. However, we're not going to help Costa Rica either. After all, they're in debt and haven't paid it off for a long time... And... it's fun to hunt birds now and then."

"Debt? Well, at least they're not against us... How much is the debt? I mean, I don't want them to just manage to pay it off and you go back to being the enemy overnight..."

"Oh, I don't think so, they haven't paid us for twenty-seven years..."

"Seriously? But how much is it?"

"Umm... Two dollars..."

Shortly after the meeting, it was decided that news of the war would be announced at a press conference in the United States; Channel 7 of Costa Rica was broadcasting this conference.

"In recent days, a rumor has spread about the new American Renaissance Congregation. Finally, it has been decided that the United States of America will remain neutral in this conflict and will allow the Congregation to invade Costa Rica in approximately 15 days. God bless us, and God bless this country. Amen."

Despite hearing this, two men in the transmission room did not hear the message, as they were discussing more pressing matters.

"So then, this girl comes up to me, and out of nowhere, bam, she kicks me where it hurts most! And man, let me tell you, that hurt. That woman, I just told her she had a nice body!"

"Oh man, these women, such a hassle," replied his co-worker, shaking his head. "That's why I prefer prostitutes. Less complicated."

"Hey!" shouted their colleague, the only other person in the small room: Francisca Carrasco Jiménez II.

"What, man!? Is what we're saying not true?" asked one of the men.

"It's not that, did you hear what that guy said?" she asked now, pointing to one of the small TVs in front of them.

"What? Did they declare war on Iraq again?"

"No, they want to invade us."

"Invade us? Who?"

"The American Renaissance Congregation."

"Who?" asked confusedly, scratching his head.

"That... The cheap copy of the filibusters. The one we talked about, like, four months ago?"

"Oh, that American Renaissance Congregation... Sorry, what are they going to do?"

Shortly thereafter, in an extremely luxurious house, the President of Costa Rica, Juan Rafael Mora Porras II, lay down with a woman who was not his wife. He was calm until a famous song from his time rang on his cell phone; it was a call from the Chancellor of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Worship, and he answered.

"Oh my God, Mora, we're screwed, man!" shouted the Chancellor in terror.

Confused by such an expression, Juanito Mora simply asked.

"What?"

"Didn't you see the news!?"

"What? No, who watches the news on a Tuesday? Nothing interesting happens on Tuesdays..."

"That happened yesterday! The invasion thing!"

"What invasion?"

"The American Renaissance Congregation's invasion!"

"The Autistic Congregation of what?"

"The American Renaissance Congregation!"

"But what is that!?"

"The cheap copy of the filibusters!"

"Oh, yeah, that! Yes... Did you say they were going to invade...? Where?"

"Here!"

There was a short silence as the president analyzed what he had heard, while he slowly got out of bed. He looked at a clock he had next to him, glanced at the woman, looked at the floor, and said.

"Uh... Did you say the cheap copy of the filibusters?"

"Yes!" shouted the Chancellor, distressed.

"Oh... I'll call you back."

And that's how the President hung up the call. He got out of bed while the woman asked him something.

"Oh, love, why are you getting up? I was having so much fun with you," asked the woman. However, the president just entered the bathroom and called one of his contacts in Switzerland.

"Hello?" greeted the man.

"Oh, hi, Mora," greeted a man.

"Finn, I need you to find a way to get me there."

"Uh... To Switzerland?"

"Yes. Honestly, I don't want to go to North Korea, China, or Russia... I've never understood those languages."

"Oh, sorry, buddy, but that won't be possible..."

There was an awkward silence between the two men, mainly because the president wasn't believing what was happening.

"But... Why not? For... At least take my daughter... Yes? Please..."

"Nah... You see, lately we've had a few issues with the United States, so we're in a tight spot... Actually, this whole thing is very unfortunate for you guys. In fact, I'm not sure if other countries will let you go to their borders because of those Yankees' power, I think..." Before continuing, the president hung up.

The man spent quite some time in the bathroom, trying to call everyone he knew, but all he got was the realization that he was alone. Upon finishing, he simply walked out of the bathroom and saw the woman already packing everything.

"Did you hear the news? I got a flight to get out of here. I assume you're coming with me, right?" she asked, while putting on her clothes.

"No... There are no flights for me..."

"No? But you're the president, why didn't they give it to you?"

"Why did they give it to you?"

"Well, I guess it must be because..." she replied, while pointing at her body.

"So... just because you're hot, they let you leave, while I, despite making efforts and having several contacts, literally get nothing..."

"Well, if you put it that way..." the woman started to speak as she took her phone out of her pants, a bit uncomfortable, until interrupted by Mora.

"It's not if I put it that way, it's simply a fact," the man began to raise his voice. "You have no idea how much time I've wasted, how hard I've tried to get what I want. The number of shoes I've had to lick to get where I am!"

"Sir, I don't think I'm comfortable with..."

"Shut up!" he began to shout furiously. "Shut up! You're nobody without me, you're nobody, you stupid good-for-nothing. How dare you!? After all the recommendations I made for you! For you! You don't even work for the government, you're just a more expensive prostitute than the others!"

"But I'm not that expensive..."

"Damn you! I hope you die! Damn you! Damn you!"

At the same time, Francisca was called by one of her superiors, who had a great revolutionary idea for her.

"Francisca, today you'll have to talk to a guy who knows a lot about the subject, because Nacho is sick! Um..." the man scratched his head, thinking about what else she should know. "Yesterday, one of our American investors told us about the benefits of a union between Costa Rica and the United States, so you're going to focus on that. Ask him about the benefits, don't focus on, you know what. Is that clear?"

Francisca, upon hearing this, simply sighed and nodded, knowing perfectly well that this was nothing new, not on Channel 7, nor on any of the other Costa Rican channels.

"Just that?" the reporter asked.

"Yes! Remember, try to do it like a 'Wow!', instead of a 'Wow...', or an 'Oh!', instead of an 'Oh...', okay? Always smile, always smile, you usually look better with a smile!"

"Sure, so always emphasize the 'Wow!', and not end like a 'Wow...', understood."

"Very well!"

Shortly thereafter, the President of the Republic and the different ministers and deputies were discussing the current situation.

"We're screwed! Did you hear!? Extremely screwed!" the President shouted to everyone present in the room.

"I, um, don't think that's the case, Mora. There's a chance they won't do anything in the first place. We're talking about the United States! They would get into a lot of trouble with our other friends. It's not convenient for them and not for the United States, and neither side wants a Third World War... If we consider that and that they usually talk a lot and do little, like with the wall, then we'll survive. Because that's how the world works since the beginning of globalization! They work with us, not us for them! It's a... Great team. A team the world has never seen before. That's why we're a free country, because we're capable of defending our rights as human beings, and even though we're not big, we are important! That's why Costa Rica will prevail!" said the Minister of Justice and Peace; and yes, that is a ministry that exists in the country.

"Okay... I honestly don't think that's the case... I mean, where's the ambassador!?"

"Which one?"

"How come which one!? The one from the United States, who else!?"

"Oh, he's not coming. He's in Guanacaste right now," a deputy replied.

"Why didn't you say that!?"

"Everyone already knew! I thought the President himself would know..."

"No, I didn't know! Apparently, everyone in this room is good for nothing and doesn't communicate important things like that."

"We're not good for nothing! That's disrespectful towards me as a woman, Mr. President, and that won't be tolerated," exclaimed the deputy.

"Oh, leave me alone! All of you!" he shouted as he got up from his chair and walked away from the table where they were gathered. "Why do I have you if you're no good to me!? From the beginning, you wanted me to end up as president again. Not me, you! And now I'm drowning, and all you do is blame me? It's not my fault! Tell me, how was I supposed to know!? How was I supposed to know that the President of the United States of America would be overwhelmed and were leave us alone against people from his own country!? Huh!? How!? There was no way! And yet, here you all are, looking at the cypress as if it weren't your problem. This is already our problem! For the first time, we can't just escape. We can't leave the problems for the next party anymore! And that's why we're really screwed!"

There was a silence where everyone just looked at the President, puzzled by his tone of voice, which he had never used before.

"Um... It's 'and would..."

The President slowly looked at the Minister of Public Education and asked.

"What?"

"You said 'and were', but it's 'and would."

At that moment, the President simply thought about shooting himself right there. However, the same minister continued proudly and with a self-satisfied smile on his face.

"But well, besides that, I suppose we'll have to call upon the citizens for war. While you were saying that... talk, I was writing this speech for those guys... It says,” at that moment, the minister took out his cellphone and began to read something from it. “Costa Ricans, peace, that blessed peace which, united with your diligent perseverance, has greatly increased our credit, wealth, and happiness, is treacherously threatened. A gang of intruders, scum from all nations, condemned by the justice of the United States, finding no place where they are now, no means to satisfy their greed, plan to invade Costa Rica to seek pleasure for their ferocious passions in our wives and daughters, in our homes and estates, fuel for their unbridled greed. Need I paint for you the terrible evils that could result from calmly awaiting such a barbaric invasion? No. You understand them; you know well what can be expected from that horde of adventurers, apostates from their homeland, you know your duty well. Alert, then, Costa Ricans! Do not interrupt your noble tasks, but prepare your weapons. I watch over you, fully convinced that at the moment of danger, as soon as the first alarm cannon shot resounds, all of you will gather around me under our free national banner. Here the invaders will find no division, no spies, no traitors. Woe to the national or foreigner who attempts to seduce innocence, sow discord, or sell us out! Here they will find nothing but brothers, true brothers, resolutely determined to defend the homeland as the sacred mother of all they hold dear, and to exterminate every last one of its enemies. Compatriots! To arms! The moment I foretold has arrived. Let us march to Nicaragua to destroy that impious phalanx which has reduced it to the most ignominious slavery: let us fight for the freedom of our brothers. They call to you, they await you to rise against their tyrants. Their cause is our cause. Those who now despise, rob, and murder them, boldly defy us and attempt to impose upon us the same blood-stained chains. Let us hasten to break those of our brothers and to exterminate every last one of their executioners. We are not going to fight for a piece of land; not to acquire ephemeral powers; not for meager conquests, much less for sacrilegious factions. No. We are going to fight to redeem all our brothers from the most iniquitous tyranny, to assist them in the fruitful work of their regeneration, to tell them: 'Brothers of Nicaragua, rise up: annihilate your oppressors. Here we come to fight at your side, for your freedom, for your homeland! Unity, Nicaraguans, unity! Put aside forever your animosities. No more factions, no more fratricidal discord! Peace, Justice, and Freedom for all! War only against the filibusters!' To battle, then, Costa Ricans. I march at the head of the national army. I, who rejoice today in your noble enthusiasm, who take pride in calling you my children, wish to share with you the danger and the glory. Your mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters encourage you. Their patriotic virtues will make us invincible. By fighting for the salvation of our brothers, we also fight for them, for their honor, for their existence, for our beloved homeland and the Hispano-American independence. All loyal sons of Guatemala, San Salvador, and Honduras march against that band of bandits. Our cause is holy; victory is assured. God will give us victory and with it, peace, harmony, freedom, and the union of the great Central American family... What do you think? Sounds good, right? I wrote it myself!"

There was a confused silence among everyone until the President spoke.

"What!? Did you just use Juan Rafael Mora Porras' damn speech?"

"Oh, is it that obvious?"

"Yes! Nicaragua isn't even under attack this time. We're on our own!"

"Oh... Yes, you're right..."

The president sighed desperately until he received a call from his daughter.

"Love! Hey, how are you...?"

The men and women in the room looked at each other, waiting for the call to end.

"Oh, really? Well, I'm so glad, love, I... Sorry I wasn't there. Will you forgive me...?"

One of the ministers was playing Candy Crush.

"Thanks, sweetheart, I love you..."

A congresswoman was checking Tinder.

"One...? Well, okay, just one... Um... What does one printer say to another? 'Is that sheet yours or is it a print of mine?'..."

A congressman was flirting with a secretary too young for him.

"Hah! You wish you could come up with one as good as that... Well, love, goodbye, I love you."

And so, he hung up the call. He looked at those present in the room once more and sighed again.

"I don't understand why I put you as ministers..." the President stopped talking for a second, thinking. "Wait a minute... I know!"

Meanwhile, at a school named San Martín de los Ángeles, Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit of the Latter-day Saints, a young man named Juan Santamaría II was in class with his classmates at the institution.

"You're driving a bus, where there are four people. At the first stop, three passengers get off and ten get on, and at the second stop, twenty get on and eleven get off. So, who is driving the bus?" the math teacher asked the class.

Juan looked around at his classmates to see who would answer since he hadn't understood anything and didn't know the answer himself. He glanced at Sara, who was talking with her two friends about gossip concerning someone she didn't like, David, who was playing a soccer video game on his cellphone, Gabriel, who was taking a selfie with his friend behind him, Daniela, who was sleeping, Andrés, who was kissing his girlfriend, Helena, who was glaring at another classmate with anger, Roberto, who was talking to his girlfriend on his cellphone, and the others who didn't understand the subject. No one answered, so the teacher continued.

"Um... It's not advisable to use the calculator for all exercises, especially since it's not allowed in the admission exam, but if there's no other way, you can use it."

Just as the teacher spoke, his cellphone rang, so he picked it up and left the classroom. Seeing this, Helena took the opportunity to approach Sara, the classmate she was glaring at.

"Bitch, really, is this how things are now!? You, bitch, come and take Aaron away, acting like you don't know anything!"

"What?" Sara asked after a brief pause of confusion.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about! You act like you don't know anything, but I know that's a lie. So swallow your own words, bitch! Because I won't tolerate that."

At the end of this angry complaint, the young girl punched Sara and started pulling her hair. Everyone was surprised to see this, but shortly after, they began to encourage the fight, except for a few who hadn't heard the gossip. Meanwhile, Juan was called by his friend Rodrigo, who was sitting next to him, to talk about what had happened in the United States.

"Hey, man, Juan, did you hear what those gringos said?" he said approaching him.

"Who?" Juan asked, confused, until he connected the dots and knew what Rodrigo was referring to. "Oh, those filibusters? Yeah, I saw... Um... What are they really called?"

"Uh... The Armed Commission Godchild, I think. But hey, man, I think that's just talk. Those gringos think they're smart, they won't last if they mess with us. I mean, the United States isn't the only country that defends us."

Juan nodded as he tried to solve the math problem the teacher had given using the calculator when he was interrupted once again by Rodrigo, who started showing him a very muscular man on Instagram.

"Look at this dude, man. Isn't he hot?" his friend asked excitedly. Juan wasn't surprised by this behavior, as ever since he mentioned to Rodrigo that he was single, he had been looking for a boyfriend for him wherever he could. It wasn't something that bothered him, but he also didn't think it would be possible to find a boyfriend so easily.

"Yeah, he really is," Juan replied with a smile. "Is he at school?"

"Yeah, man, and you know what? I've heard he's definitely gay," he said, smiling and giving a thumbs up.

"Oh, I see..." Juan replied as he looked at the photo. "So, what's he like?"

"He's cool, man. From what I've heard about him, all his boyfriends have been good-for-nothings, so you can show him what a real man is like!" he said proudly, making Juan laugh.

"Man, right now I'm interested in someone else, so I'd rather be loyal," Juan commented, scratching his head.

"Really? Who?" Rodrigo asked curiously as he moved his chair closer to his friend's desk.

"Um..." Juan crossed his arms, a little embarrassed. "It's... Um... Eduardo."

"Eduardo!?" Rodrigo suddenly shouted. However, no one heard him, as the fight was still ongoing.

"Yeah..." Juan replied, giving a nervous chuckle.

"But... Why him out of everyone? That guy is a scoundrel!" his friend said worriedly.

"It's just... I don't know, man. He's... really handsome. And he hasn't treated me badly!" he replied, stuttering a bit.

"Man, that's how he is. He makes you think he likes you, then sleeps with you or takes your money, and then he's gone. You've heard those stories with all his ex-girlfriends. And not only that! You saw him with Gabi too, at the time," he exclaimed, referring to his girlfriend.

"I know... It's just that... I don't know, it's lonely. You know? Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I just hug my pillow to pretend someone's with me, but it doesn't work... I think it's because it's almost empty... But I also think it's because there's nothing like a person... I'm just saying... Why not try to be with someone, anyone, despite their flaws, and try to fix them?"

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Upon hearing this, Rodrigo sighed and nodded.

"Yeah, I know, man, it's lonely... But it's not good to be with someone like that either. It's not our responsibility to try to fix people, especially if that person doesn't want to change and treats you like nothing. So no, I don't think that guy is good for you, Juan."

Now Juan sighed, but also nodded; Rodrigo was right, and he knew he was wiser in those aspects. However, before he could say anything else, they were interrupted when Sara fell onto Juan's desk and split it in two.

The next day, Francisca conducted an interview with what she called "an expert on current issues."

"As we anticipated, we're here with Mr. Pablo Stevens. He was... uh, sorry, he is an economist and politician, studied at Cambridge, and has a doctorate. A pleasure to have you here, Mr. García!"

"The pleasure is mine, Francisca."

"Alright, then, we've been hearing a lot about conflicts between the United States and our beautiful country. Tell me, how likely is it that there will be a union between the two?"

"Well, you see, it's a very complex situation with many complicated things. Such a situation requires ideas and a mindset different from what we currently have. Our relationship with the United States of America is established as one of peace and exchange of goods, so all these things combine to create an environment of peace, tranquility, and mutual benefit... There are several layers of difficulty and understanding that we need to break down to grasp the current situation. Right? Still, the utility of the goods that the United States of America provides us is indispensable, important, vital, and essential for our economic and social survival. Therefore, this union will be a positive turn in our history, both socially and culturally as well as economically. It will provide jobs, completely reduce poverty, stop crime, and control drug trafficking, those kinds of things..."

"Of course, thank you very much for your time, Mr. García. And now, a section where we'll talk about how to prevent your teenage son or daughter from having those horrible and pathetic acne spots with a recipe from grandma!"

In another part of the country, a group of men were gathered, watching the corner of a local store, quite famous for the drug dealers who frequented it. These men were themselves a group of those dealers, looking for someone who had outsold them that week.

"How's this guy look, man?" asked Julio, one of the men in the driver's seat.

"He's wearing one of those Disney hats, man, one with the head of that dog, or something like that," replied José, browsing Instagram on his phone.

"Disney? Why's he got a Pluto hat?" queried Rodrigo, the third man.

"No, not Pluto, the other... Um... Goofy!"

"Ah, got it..."

"Hey, check this out, guys. She's something else, isn't she?" José asked, showing a video of a woman exercising semi-nude to the two men in the front seats.

"Wow, man, she's...," Julio responded, biting his lip. "What's her name?"

"Oh, come on, man, that's not right, man! That's just wrong!" Rodrigo interjected, shaking his head.

"Ah, what a buzzkill, man. Relax, it's not like you're a saint," José commented, rolling his eyes.

"No, but we should respect women, man. It's not cool," Rodrigo insisted, still shaking his head.

"Nobody said not to respect them, man! I'm just saying they put up these videos for a reason. They like it, even if they say otherwise," José retorted, raising his hands.

"Yeah, but they have the right to dress however they want. But you can't just talk about women like that, man," Rodrigo argued.

"Oh, come on, she's not even here! If she were here, she'd probably agree. She posted that video herself, and now I'm going to enjoy that video tonight."

The men continued their discussion. However, as they spoke, two other men watched them from a car definitely more expensive than theirs, parked in front of them.

"I still don't get why we're here, man," remarked Pablo, smoking a cigarette.

Despite the comment, Miguel, the other man, didn't respond and simply watched the scene.

"Please, man, they're new, but I don't think they're stupid. I'm sure they'll do well, especially your son! I was like that when he met me, man ..."

The man continued without speaking. However, he nodded, remembering his glory days. Now he was old and stingy, but he was sure Pablo would take his place correctly. Then Miguel noticed a police car heading towards them from the right, apparently on routine patrol.

Meanwhile, Gabriel, the young man everyone was looking for, exited the store. As José had said, he was wearing a Goofy hat, which a child noticed and made him approach.

"Hey, mister?" asked the child.

Gabriel looked at the child and smiled.

"Yeah?" he asked as he knelt down.

"Is that hat Goofy's?"

"Um... Yeah! Do you like it?"

The child nodded.

"Where did you buy it?" the child asked curiously.

"Well, um... From... From a Disney store, in Chepe!"

"Chepe?"

"San Jose," he clarified.

"Oh, that's really cool!" the child replied, smiling.

"Do you like it? Do you want it?" he asked as he took it off.

"Yes!"

This response made the man laugh and he gave the hat to the boy.

However, as for the other three men, José realized that the young man with the Goofy hat was out of the store.

"Man, I just think that the girls with attractive bodies show that they have good nutrition," Julio continued, until he was interrupted by José.

"Guys, guys, guys, there he is!"

"What guy, man?" Rodrigo asked, confused.

"That guy... Which guy from those guys?"

"Um... Oh, I don't know, man..." José replied, also looking at the two individuals in front of the store.

"Is it the big guy or the little guy, man?" Rodrigo asked this time.

"I don't know, man! Supposedly it was a guy with a Goofy hat, man."

"Man, then is it the little guy?"

"Man, I guess, man..."

"Ah, it doesn't matter. Kill them both!" Julio exclaimed, while turning on the car engine and stepping on the accelerator.

"Die, bitches!" Rodrigo shouted, accidentally shooting at all the people present except for their two targets, just like his companion who was in the back seats.

Julio, who stopped paying attention to the street for a second to look at the massacre, hit the bumper of the car where Pablo and Miguel were.

The police officers in the patrol car to his right saw all the chaos and activated the siren, despite being technically next to it.

Pablo was stunned by the stupidity of the situation, Miguel watched the men in front of him with silent fury and disappointment, and the three men in that car hid under their seats when they noticed their boss's anger.

Shortly thereafter, all the men were arrested: Rodrigo, Julio, and José for obvious reasons, and Pablo and Miguel because Miguel shot Julio's foot for not being able to drive properly.

On the other side of the country, Francisca was with a divorce lawyer.

"So, dear, tell me everything, okay? We need every detail, every one," said the woman with braces.

"Well... I, um...," Francisca scratched her arm, leaving a slight mark on it. "When... When I was hired to be a presenter, I met him. He was... He was one of those reporters you usually see talking about women's rights and LGBT people..."

"Yes, yes, the A-Z, those," the lawyer interrupted the woman, slightly annoyed.

"Yes... Well, he actually seemed like a nice guy, you know? He was sweet to me, treated me well, he wasn't... He wasn't one of those guys who try to take advantage of you... We dated for a while, became a couple, it lasted like... a year and a half, more or less, and everything was so... perfect! I mean, I'd had good relationships before but... none like that. And yes, maybe it was a bit stressful for me to watch those damn soccer matches every day, and it hurt sometimes to use wax to depilate, or sometimes I had to pretend to be happy even though I couldn't take my depression anymore! But I was happy! I watched those soccer matches every day, waxed, and pretended to be happy even though I couldn't take my depression anymore, and I did it because that's what you should do in a relationship, try to be the best version of yourself... Then we got married... And everything started well! He didn't change, treated me well, took me out to nice places, bought me things when we could, but... I don't know what happened, but... He changed... He... He got worse... He stopped trying, stopped being the best version of himself, didn't take me out, didn't buy me things, he didn't even say he loved me when he left to work, and that was the least he could do for me... Once I asked him about it, and you know what he said? 'You're delusional,' that's what he said. We've only been together for two years, just two years! And that's what he said to me... So I cheated on him with someone else, because I was angry. I was angry because all that effort and all that time had been for nothing. Because it was there, right there, where I realized he had stopped pretending... So why did I have to be the one who had to pretend? Then he found out and... Now we're here... Now we're here..."

"Alright, but definitely leave out the bad part about yourself, it won't help us. Do you have any photos of any kind of abuse he might have done at any time?"

"What?" the woman asked, confused.

"Like I said! Listen... Divorces are complicated. Everyone wants to get something out of all the lost time, it's understandable. That's why we have to tell a story that's believable, and not many people like the story where a woman cheats on her husband because he was good for nothing; although believe me, I've done it too! However, in our semi-progressive Catholic democratic society, women have to be the victims of the situation, and not just any kind of victim. You have to be the victim of a greater abuse than apathy; apathy hurts, yes, but not enough. Technically, you were the one who cheated on him, not the other way around, so he must have done something much worse for the judge to favor you. Do you understand me?"

The next day, the president was having a conversation with the Ambassador of the United States. He was snapping his fingers and humming.

"Excuse me, I came from that hotel and the party didn't stop. Oh, which one was it? Rui Palace, beautiful, since they turned it into a casino it's a thousand times better. But well, let's stop talking about me and talk about our problem. Tell me, do you know why bald eagles are our national symbol? Despite existing in such a hostile environment, their intelligence is what keeps them alive. That's the United States of America for you, we do what we can with what we have," the man pointed to his head, "Intelligence. And you... Well, I wouldn't say you're not intelligent, but you definitely haven't been wise... If you had your debts paid, we would gladly help you, but not everything is perfect..."

"We're trying to settle that debt, but inflation since..."

"We already know what happened, but despite that, we can't give our resources for any situation that suddenly arises. Besides, it's only two dollars."

"Two dollars is a lot of money."

"Have you fallen that low?"

"Yes!"

"Well, there's nothing else we can do, the United States can't just lend its services to anyone. If it does, it will look weak to the world, and you know perfectly well that has never been our flow. Things are like this, friend, the world is bad..."

"Yes... If we win the war against the filibusters, could you help us afterwards?"

"Of course! We don't want to not help... But I warn you that this two-dollar debt will increase to four..."

"Isn't there another way to settle the debt?"

The ambassador shook his head.

"No. However, if someone comes up with something, I'll let you know. For now, gather followers, people who would give their lives for their country, for their homeland. This is like a political campaign, sell them something, rights, privileges, it doesn't matter. They'll follow anything that benefits them; that's the beauty of the system, it has a little something for everyone!"

The next day, the president was giving a press conference.

"Costa Ricans, peace, that prosperous peace which, united to our laborious perseverance, has increased so much our credit, wealth, and happiness, is perfidiously threatened. A gang of newcomers, scum from all nations, condemned by the justice of the sovereignty of the United States, finding no longer where they are with what to satisfy their voracity, plan to invade Costa Rica to seek in our wives, husbands, sons and daughters, in our homes and estates, pleasures for their ferocious passions, food for their unrestrained greed. Need I paint for you the terrible evils that may result from awaiting so barbarous an invasion coldly? No. You understand them; you know well what can be expected from that horde of adventurers apostates of their homeland, you know your duty. Alert, then, Costa Ricans! Do not interrupt your noble tasks, but prepare your weapons. I watch over you, well convinced that, in the instant of danger, as soon as the first cannon shot of alarm resounds, all, all will gather around me under our free national flag. Here invaders will find no divided parties, spies, or traitors. Woe to the national or foreigner who attempts to seduce innocence, foster discord, or sell us out! Here they will find nothing but brothers, true brothers, resolved irrevocably to defend the Motherland as the holy mother of all they love, and to exterminate even the last of their enemies. So, compatriots! To arms! The moment has come. Let us march to destroy that impious phalanx that seeks to reduce our country to the most odious slavery: let us fight for the freedom of our brothers. Those who today want to vilify, steal, and murder, boldly challenge us and try to cast upon us the same bloodied chains. Let us rush to exterminate even the last of their executioners. We are not going to fight for a piece of land; not to acquire ephemeral powers; not to achieve wretched conquests, much less sacrilegious parties. No. We are going to fight to redeem all our brothers from the most iniquitous tyranny, we are going to help them in the fruitful work of their regeneration. Forever sacrifice your rancors. No more parties, no more fratricidal discord! Peace, Justice, and Liberty for all! War only to the filibusters! To the fight, then, Costa Ricans. I lead the national army. I who rejoice to see today your noble enthusiasm, who pride myself in calling you my children, my friends, companions, want to share with you the danger and the glory. Your mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, sisters, brothers, sons, and daughters are with you. Your patriotic virtues will make us invincible. Fighting for the salvation of our brothers, we will also fight for them, for their honor, for their existence, for our beloved homeland and Hispano-American independence. Our cause is holy; victory is certain. God will give us victory and with it peace, concord, freedom, and the union of the great Central American family... Costa Ricans, to arms!"

In the following days, the speech was met with diverse opinions. Some loved the idea of killing Americans, others wanted to steal all the weapons they had, some wished to completely enslave the United States in some form, others didn't want to fight out of fear or because they weren't very interested in what happened in the country, some didn't even believe they could be attacked, and others disagreed with the recent decisions of the president. National channels had to use this to increase their viewership and preach about the great opportunity the filibusters brought to their lands. Francisca was one of the reporters who shared with the country her great revelation about the system of systems.

"Yesterday our beloved president called us to be part of a great mistake, but we must not blame him; after all, he is human, just like you and me. However, we must realize the truth, that conference has absolutely no authenticity in its discourse. It's all nonsense, lies that the privileged make us swallow. I won't insist further, everyone already knows what is really happening here in this country right now. We are part of a joke to them, a damn and filthy joke to all those good-for-nothing corrupt people. They don't want the common good; they want their own well-being! They force us to endure years of mediocrity. They make us live in fear of the crazy drug traffickers who sell in front of our homes and bring corpses to our doorstep. They make us experience the loss of our sons and daughters due to the irresponsibility of teachers who focus only on themselves and not on the Costa Rican future, in addition to the terrible and outdated huge gap between public and private education. We have to deal with horrible infrastructure where every 50 meters we encounter a pothole in the streets. We endure the terrible high taxes that we pay so that in the end they are used for their own comforts, and we have to subsist with what little is left, or worse, simply starve while we lose our tin homes because a new hotel is being built near where we used to live. Or they make us wait in an endless line of people just to get an appointment at the Caja, because a monster stabbed us with a knife while robbing us due to the lack of a good policeman on that street. We already know all this, we all know. We know that everything is going very wrong, horribly wrong. And of course, nobody wants to hear this, but I also know it's because they're fed up. We all are! However, I want you to listen... Listen everyone! Because I won't stop saying it, it's time for a real change. So, I want everyone to join us, because it's time. It's time for a change, time to show that we are a strong and determined people. We are Costa Ricans, for God's sake, we are capable of moving mountains, of improving our country! So, I want you to rebel against those damn good-for-nothings. I want you to take whatever you have, unleash all your anger, and show the true face of this beautiful country. It has been done in the past; it's time for this generation to do it too. We will overcome the oppressors, the corrupt, and the wicked. Costa Ricans, rise up against oppression!"

Shortly after, conflicts escalated in the country. Several fights broke out everywhere among different groups. The first was led by the president, called United Costa Rica, and the second led by Francisca Carrasco, called Immutable Generation. All this started a civil war, where different people from each family fought among themselves for what they considered right. Juan Santamaría was one of those affected.

"What!? No, no, no! That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. Don't do it," Rodrigo rebuked angrily.

"I'm just joining United Costa Rica, you support it too..."

"You're not joining because you support it, you're joining because Eduardo is joining them! Dude, no, no, no!"

Rodrigo began to repeat the same thing over and over, until Juan became fed up.

"Just leave me alone then, man!"

Saying this, his friend stopped talking, completely hurt. Rodrigo sighed, looked at the ground for a moment, and continued.

"You're my friend and I care about you. I'm not going to leave you alone, but I can't convince you either, so I'll join too if necessary."

They looked at each other, reaching a mutual agreement.

Conflicts grew more violent every day. Crimes began to increase and the police couldn't control the situation. Various hate crimes towards Americans, Nicaraguans, Chinese, and many more nationalities became the daily bread in the country. Meanwhile, William Walker approached on a ferry with all his followers. It was a dark night, and the man contemplated the stars at the stern, while a party was going on inside. Soon after, another man, perhaps a little older than Walker, approached William and asked him.

"It's chilly around here, isn't it?"

"A bit, I suppose."

"Yeah... You're... William Walker, right? The one who started all this..."

"That's right."

"Well, I admire you a lot, you know? I mean, convincing a bunch of gringos to attack a country... It's too good to be true."

Walker stayed silent upon hearing the word 'gringos', until he turned around and looked the stranger in the face.

"Are you Costa Rican?"

"You got it, my name's José Manuel Quirós Blanco II... Although, honestly, I have no idea where the 'II' came from... Pleasure to meet you."

"Are you here to kill me?" Walker asked bluntly.

"No... Actually, I really admire your thinking. Costa Rica is a dump, everyone knows it. That's why I left... And that's why I'm here now."

"Don't you have family in Costa Rica?"

"Sure, who doesn't? But they're not people worth mentioning."

"And aren't you afraid I'll say you're Costa Rican?"

"Honestly... no. I don't think you're that kind of person... Actually, I don't think you're the person you claim to be..."

Walker paused his interrogation for a moment, confused.

"What do you mean?" the American asked.

"I mean, you don't seem like a Hitler II... You lost someone, didn't you? I heard it on the news... Your fiancée."

Walker said nothing, just turned and continued gazing at the stars. Nevertheless, José Manuel continued.

"And you think you'll never get over it... Even when you start to forget, you desperately search because you're terrified of not thinking about her anymore. Because deep down, in that darkest part, you feel like you don't deserve happiness after what happened. Isn't that right? The pain lingers every day, it won't leave you alone, but it doesn't kill you, and you don't have the guts to do it yourself either. So, in the end, what you do is inflict that pain on others, so they can feel how horrible it is. This was never about Costa Rica or the United States, was it? It's about your ability to accept happiness or not, and whether you deserve it. But, William, each of us deserves to be happy, even with our own sins... I've planted a bomb on the ferry, and soon we'll all die, so let me ask you one last time... Do you think you deserve to be happy?"

"No..."

"Then finally accept your death..."

The ferry never reached Costa Rica, but the civil war continued. With the need for weapons to win, the president turned to one of his last resorts.

"So, what we'll need is assistance from your organization. Of course, this will mean your release and that of your colleagues, Miguel."

Miguel wasn't impressed. Since being imprisoned after the three youths tried to kill a vendor with a Goofy hat, he had witnessed the slow decline of the country by its inhabitants. This could be a great opportunity, but he simply shook his head.

"Why not? Don't you want to save your family, get them out of this place?"

"Of course I do. But it's too late. It's too late for me, for my son. It's too late once you get into this... Did you know that oxygen is what ages us? It kills us slowly. I learned that from an addict who used to be a teacher. When you're born and live in the same place for so long, when you eat the same food every day, when you see the same people across the street, when you do the same things every day... That's your world. You know? My family has always been into this. My children, my brothers, uncles, parents, grandparents, we live for this. There's nothing else for us until we die. It's a system of systems. Unbreakable, completely unbreakable. Do you think it's easy to stop? It's not. You don't escape, you never escape. You learn this when you're old and it's too late to run away. And your children? They haven't lived what you've lived, and despite how much you warn them about how dangerous and pathetic the whole system is, they haven't lived what you've lived. It's the human curse. When you realize how bad things really are, it's already too late. You've made your mistakes, so the next generation continues, and they do the same, over and over again... And then they learn, they tell their children, they beg them to stop... But they haven't lived what one has lived... Annihilation. Like when we breathe, we kill ourselves slowly, but we do it to live longer, even though oxygen itself poisons us. We're suicidal beings, but mostly mediocre... I remember once I tried to work on a plantation. The boss wouldn't let me talk to the inspector, so he wouldn't know he was forcing us to work 15 hours a day, every day, with a wage that barely fed my son... That man was clever, but mediocre because everyone knew he had the money to pay us properly, and that way, we might have had better work, we might have done everything faster... But he was just clever. Humanity is clever, that's why we're still the species at the top of the food chain, that's why we haven't gone extinct. And the years will go on, and there will be wars, extinctions, and the death of the planet, but we won't be there anymore... We'll be gone, and we'll spread out, but the same problems will continue for ages. Humanity will continue, and the universe won't even remain as a dystopia or a utopia, it will only experience what humans have done to everything they touch, not destruction or death, just mediocrity. It never amounts to anything, it doesn't get worse or better, it just stays static in the vastness of time. The only difference? Generations and technology, but the rest... The rest becomes mediocre. It doesn't matter anymore. No one cares if the country is bombed or sold... In the end, who cares about a country like Costa Rica?"

"And where did that come from? I just want weapons," the president asked, confused.

Meanwhile, on the other side of Costa Rica, a small group of United Costa Rica was trapped in a building. Juan, Rodrigo, and Eduardo were there.

"Oh no, we're going to die! I don't want to die!" Eduardo screamed in terror while Juan tried to calm him down and Rodrigo looked at him with disdain.

"You're such an idiot. Why did you join this then, huh?"

"I just thought it wouldn't amount to anything! And then, on top of that, a girl dared me and told me she'd become my girlfriend... In the end, she didn't and said it was just a joke because she's aromantic... I'm still not sure if I'm sure what that means..."

Suddenly, several shots were heard near the main entrance; their enemies had entered. Juan knew instantly it was time to declare himself to Eduardo, who was moments away from wetting himself.

"Eduardo?"

"Yes?" he asked, terrified.

Juan looked at Rodrigo for a second, who understood what was happening and simply nodded in support while keeping an eye on the door where the enemy group could enter. Juan continued.

"Listen, I've always liked you. You're someone I think is really good, and if we get out of here, I'd like to be your boyfriend."

Eduardo was silently confused and simply asked.

"Sorry, but... Who are you?"

That made Juan feel a knife in his heart instantly.

Suddenly, a man entered the room where they were. However, Rodrigo shot him in the chest instantly, but couldn't aim at the next one who entered subsequently. The second man fired his gun and hit Juan Santamaría in the head and Rodrigo in the stomach, causing him to fall to the floor and lose consciousness. The older man observed the scene and saw Eduardo in a small corner terrified, then saw his dead companion and entered a great rage; he approached Eduardo and began to strangle him, with Eduardo unable to do almost anything because of the fear he felt. However, just before Eduardo lost consciousness, the man got a bullet in the head from Rodrigo, who had awakened. Despite having a bullet in his head, the stranger simply looked at Rodrigo for a second and went away confused thanks to the adrenaline that left him alive for a few seconds until leaving the house and dying from a hemorrhage. After this, both young men decided to leave the war and try to continue with their lives. Juan did not survive.

Thanks to the large number of deaths and economic losses that the country suffered, it was even worse than it was before all these events. The civil war ended, but now a way had to be found to escape the misery that the country lived, and this could be achieved with the help of the United Nations.

"No," was the first response obtained from one of the countries.

"What? Why not!? You were the ones who left us in the hands of those racist maniacs. You were the ones who didn't let us in, and now you're telling me no?"

"Exactly. You see, we're in a more complicated situation now, most of us are a bit angry because the United States didn't stop William Walker's organization, so we're saving in case there's a third world war. You know how it is... Isn't that right, Mr. President?"

Everyone looked at the President of the United States, who was wearing a straitjacket.

"The birds are right, Mr. Mora! Listen to the birds. Birds, birds, beautiful birds!"

"This isn't fair! We need help..." Juan Mora was about to start a speech about responsibility when he was interrupted by another country.

"Oh, for God's sake! Listen to yourself right now. Do you think we're the villains in this story? Do you truly believe we're responsible for this misery? No! We're not; the real culprits have been you. All of you are guilty. In different ways? Of course! But ultimately, you're all guilty of your own misery. You ruined everything trying to manipulate the truth, they ruined everything by believing it. You stole from the country, they just started complaining but did nothing about it. You followed a damaged, corrupted, dying system, and they worship that system like a god of gods. So, tell me, do you seriously think we're the villains in this story? We're not the villains of the story, you are... You are. Now the question is: Are you ready for a new opportunity in the world of prosperity? If so, you will let your country be bombed."

"Bombed?" asked the President of Costa Rica, confused.

"We have been negotiating a pact between nations. To stop the conflict, finally, thanks to the support of the greatest minds of our generation, we offer to bomb several parts of your country so that a piece of each of our nations is in yours. In return, we will give you an insurmountable amount that will pay off any debt and make you prosper."

Juan Mora remained silent for several seconds, pondering what to do.

"I think I need the country to make a decision and vote for what they think is best."

"Democracy is always the best option..."

The country voted in favor of the agreement.

In the following days, the places to be bombed were evacuated, and the day the bombs fell arrived.

By then, Juan's funeral was taking place. Rodrigo watched as his cheap coffin was lowered into the depths of the Earth, and how the little family the young man had walked away. Then Eduardo appeared.

"What was he like?" he suddenly asked, causing Rodrigo to look at him for a moment, then return his gaze to the coffin.

"He was good... Not academically, but in other ways. He liked sushi and watching anime. He loved playing soccer; he was very excited about the World Cup in Japan... I mean, his two favorite things combined? He was more than excited... He lived in a family that never loved him for who he was, and he suffered bullying for many years, many years... He felt lonely and sad many times, and despite everything, he was always good at pretending. And I think... I think I should have done more for him because I loved him a lot, and then I lost him..."

"I'm so sorry..."

"You know something? He always saw the good in people, even if they were good-for-nothings like you... I don't know if he was stupid or blind, but he always tried to see the good in them..."

"I... um... I remember where I met him... When I broke up with your girlfriend, I started going to a bar, where they gave me drinks despite being underage, and I started getting drunk a lot. One day I drank more and decided to try to jump off a bridge, and for some strange reason he was walking around there... Then he asked me what I was doing, and I said, 'Well, man, I just want to stop feeling bad.' So he came up to me and just told me everything would be okay and that I would manage to get out of whatever it was. He took me by the arm, brought me close to him, and just hugged me... And I never saw him again... I can't justify what I did... But I can assure you that he was always a great person and I'm really sorry... I'm really sorry..."

Rodrigo just looked at Eduardo, patted him on the shoulder, and walked away.

Shortly thereafter, the president was at home with his daughter and wife, and received a call with bad news.

"What!? They confused them!? How can they allow them to fall here?"

The call ended when Juan threw the phone to the floor.

"We have to go..."

On the other side of San Jose, Francisca was in her small house when suddenly someone knocked on her door. When she opened it, she found her still husband.

"Did you see the news?" the man asked with a serious face. Francisca nodded, making the man look at the house for a few seconds and ask, "Can I come in?"

A few minutes later, they were both having a cup of coffee.

"How did you know where I was?" the woman asked.

"Your parents. They still like me despite everything."

"Hah... It's because they think I caused everything..."

"And didn't you?" he asked, almost offended.

The reporter lowered her coffee cup and hit it on the table hard enough to spill some of that liquid on the white tablecloth.

"I don't want to fight, it's too late for that...," her husband suddenly commented as he looked at the coffee stain. "I just want to know why..."

"Why?" Francisca asked confused, now she sounded almost offended too. "Because you left me. That's the reason. What more do you want? I... I thought we had established something... But honestly, I think that something had only been established by me..."

The man looked her in the eyes, thinking about what to tell her.

"I... I'm sorry... I don't think I've been the husband you deserved..."

"I shouldn't have done what I did either...," she answered with a sigh. "I think we both made things worse..."

"Give me some credit, okay? I think we both took our part in this..."

They looked at each other and smiled.

"I'm scared...," the man said.

"Me too... But I want to tell you that, despite everything that has happened between us, I'm glad to have had you in my life. And I want you to know that I love you, and I always will..."

He approached her and just hugged her. They both began to wait for the inevitable.

At the president's house, he and his wife were packing.

"Pack everything we need! Did you hear me? Everything!" the man exclaimed over and over, not paying attention to something his daughter was saying.

"Where are we going!?" his wife asked, but he didn't answer.

"Dad!" the girl shouted as loudly as she could, getting the attention of both adults. "We can't leave them... You promised!"

Juan approached the girl and shook his head.

"Love, sometimes you have to run to help more people..."

"No! You're running away because you don't want to face it..."

"Face what?" he asked confused.

"That you're not a good example for me..."

The man looked into the girl's tearful eyes, trying to find some excuse not to stay, but he didn't find it. He looked at his wife, who had stopped packing, and she simply nodded and approached them. The three of them hugged. The man put his hands on his daughter and began to say...

"Look at me, love, look at me... Do you remember when I told you Rufus was going to heaven? Well, today we're going there! We'll see each other soon... On the other side of the road."

"Can you tell me one last joke, Dad?"

"I think this time I'd like to hear one from you..."

"But they're very bad..."

"Just trying is enough for me."

"Well... Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"Why?"

They didn't finish the conversation.

On an uneventful day, in a year that holds no significance, several nuclear explosions destroyed most of Costa Rica. The few survivors would die in the following weeks due to lack of resources, radiation, or the third world war which had atomic bombs as the preferred weapon. The world collapsed in a short time and the end of the system came, at least until someone else came up with a new system of systems.