Greetings,

My name is Sabira, I am the deceased A01001101T01010101R01000101E01010010U01010100M01000001, and I want to complain about the number of conspiracy theories surrounding my death.

I don't know who is responsible for controlling these kinds of things, but I would like people to stop thinking about various statements that have been made about me. These are the following:

1. That I was kidnapped by the government, brainwashed, and turned into a sex slave; people who have recently died keep asking me the same thing over and over again.

2. I would also like my family to be removed from these theories since people think they were the ones who killed me or that they were part of the New World Order.

3. I would love for people to stop believing that I faked my death because, in case they don't know, I AM QUITE DEAD.

4. Also, people should stop thinking that I was going to discover the cure for cancer and that a secret organization stopped me. I was just a simple SECRETARY!

5. Another thing I would like to be removed is the part where they say I was very sociable and affectionate; I never was, and every day after my death I regret it. I was not a good person. Imagine that I slept with my boss to get fired a colleague I didn't get along with.

6. And for the love of Death, tell them once and for all that I simply choked on raw carrots trying not to gain weight!

That would be all. Thank you for your cooperation. If you don't do what I say, I will talk to your manager and get you fired.

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Sincerely,

Sabira Abengoa Farran

Status: DENIED