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starwars adventures ROBS madness
Chapter one : Rob madness I'm the victim here

Chapter one : Rob madness I'm the victim here

Author note:I don't own any right to the starwars franchise or any other I may use as a muse in this story and I am sorry for any mistakes, misunderstandings and canon lore loopholes I don't know everything and slot of what I knew no longer exists ha anyway the only thing I own is my oc I guess haha 

Stars 

….

Stars everywhere around me shining brightly, twinkling against the dark void that is space a beautiful but soul crushing view.

Why you ask?

Because just moments ago I was sitting down in the caravan in the backyard a balmy 32 degrees Celsius smoking a couple joints listening to music on my phone relaxing with my dog clyde.

Reel big fish’s sell out playing semi loudly as I was browsing reading on my phone power liking trough tinder you know the usual waiting for the time to roll bye before I have to go to work I say work but what I really mean is play swordfighting chuckling to my self wondering how I landed that one but who knows refocusing on the novel I was reading at the time when a bright flashing message appeared across my phone.

Government announcement: don't be alarmed if you see bright flashing lights in the sky some space debre is burning up in the atmosphere we repeat don't be alarmed. Thank you for your time.

Slightly panicked I stood up to go outside knocking over the water bottle next to my seat spilling water over the floor swearing under my breath “god damn it!” Leaning over to wipe the water up with a tea towel I get greeted with the sloppy kisses of clyde who was sleeping just next door and was super excited to greet his human getting the accident cleaned up shaking my head bemused I wipe my face with the tea towel now with a clean floor and face turn around to go out the door when I was surprised by a all consuming light and a brief searing pain that radiated throughout my entire being and then I knew nothing.

Flashforward to now me staring out into the surprisingly beautiful dark abyss waiting for what comes next wondering what happened to me,what happened to my family and what happened to clyde he will be lonely without me I like to think I know I died but truly what happened to me?

As if to answer my question a ambiguous figure appeared in my direct line of vision bowed at a 90 degrees and said “sorry felix you have to trust me I didn't mean to harm you at all I was just trying to impress lady death and well you know how it is my man” getting up from ‘his’ bow and grinning at me “how about we just sweep this under the rug my man bros before hoes and all that” eyes twinkling like the a creepy omni-present Dumbledore coming to the realisation that something more is going on I ask the most important question here *what did you do to impress lady death?” proudly he announced with his chest “well I took the Thanos approach!”

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

……….

…….

“Ha ha hah hahahahaha NO can do mother fucker no bro code for you motherfucker as you know a mother of a bro is off limits and that means in all things including murder you dumb ass I'm the fucking victim here along with half of my known universe” breathing deeply vision blurry with anger I hear him mutter” every one else took it god damn it” hope silently filled my being ‘i might just get something out of this yet’ I thought seizing the moment of opportunity “lady death hear my plea!” I shout out loud “this being stated he wiped out half of the universe I belonged to to appease you and is trying to squirrel out of the punishment he has been given so please judge him now”

From the shadows of the surrounding abyss of space corrolesses in a writhing web of dark tendrils as a veiled female form emerges from the web of tendrils

“My my what do we have here a cute mortal and a dumbass who's in quite a bit of trouble” as she glares at the now very pale and sweating Rob across from me.

“Cute?” I whisper to myself quite confused lady death slowly walks towards the Rob heels clicking mysteriously across the void as she approaches Rob she says ” you promised a boon to every mortal who died by your hand and you have yet to have fulfilled even one of those boons so now you must grant 3 under my watch taken directly from your power weakening you forever NOW KNEEL ROB BOB!” the now severely sweaty pale and shaking Rob does so immediately she then turns her attention to me.

“Mortal state your boons now or forever hold your peace” my mind turns to the latest fanfiction I had been reading before my untimely demise and I say”lady death I wish for Harry potter magic and all that intales ie.wand,books,ingredients,trunk familiar for the second wish I want a multiverse chatroom system with gacha elements for all participants I wish for my dog clyde to come with me please lady death”

………

“You'd give up your third boon for a dog mortal?”she asks as she stares intensely at me waiting for my answer”yes every time miss death I would do it every time even if you offered me one boon that would be my only wish my lady” staring back at her.

For a brief moment I thought that that would be the end of my existence then she grinned at me as the beauty of the stars turned hollow before lady death's smile as she lit up the sky's far brighter than a star I couldn't help but say “with a smile like that it no wonder people are mad crazy about you miss lady death”

Stunned still for a few moments as what I said sunk in before a crimson scarlet broke out across the pale white skin of the now blushing lady death who arkwardly chough in her hand she said “well as reward for your loyalty to your animal I have decided to give you a surprise gift and an enhancement for clydey boy now toddles darling” as a dark portal opened below me and I fell through.

In the darkness a giant wheel appeared on it names of worlds I recognised in tiny little letters so many worlds as I step forward to spin that wheel to see what world I'll end up in.

……………..click

Starwars appears to be where I'll be going twi'leks and sith galore a universe unknown taking a few deep breaths the calm my now racing medophrical pulse because you know I'm kinda dead I say quietly “thanks lady death and see you when I come back to you old and grey” and with a large grin in a near instant turn to ashes.

………….. in a multiverse a long time ago in a galaxy far far away …

In the shadows of a shattered moon lies a semi derelict ship as we pan across the hull of the vessel the words so worn by the waining sun of this solar system the name ebonhawk sprawl across the scar ridden ship.

Inside se see our main character face down on the floor groaning pushing myself up i mutters “could have been a bit more gentler missy” shaking my head i take my bearings i notices almost immediately I'm not wearing the cloths I was wearing earlier I'm snow wearing a space suit fancy I think I also noticed my smartphone next to me with a new message strange.

You have a new message

You have a new message

….................

Taking a look at who might be messaging me to see the name lady death as the contact I start to see spots in my vision knowing I'm about to faint I think to my self why did lady death add to my contact list or when then I hit the floor with a loud clang

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