I walk through the illusory wall that hides our little makeshift home and see an Alice that has her hair in a fray and is pacing back and forth frantically.
“I’m back, Alice. What’s wrong?” I ask. She was so caught up in her pacing she hadn't even noticed me enter and gave a squeak and small jump of surprise.
Whirling to face me she said, “Stein! Where were you? I woke up and you were gone and I… I…” Tears started forming in her eyes and she started sniffling. I could tell an emotional outburst was imminent.
Moving quickly to her side I say, “Woah, woah. Alice I told you before I left I was getting us some food.” I tried to sound firm and reassuring. I knew by now Alice was prone to getting emotional, and wanted to defuse this bomb before it went off.
“No you didn't! I woke up and you were gone and I waited and waited and started to think you weren't coming back!” She was almost yelling at me.
An idea of what had happened forms. “Alice, how long ago did you wake up?” I ask slowly.
She stops for a moment and thinks. “Half an hour ago maybe?” She put her pouty face on. “Really Stein, its not polite to leave and not tell where you're going or when you'll be back.”
I stare at her dumbly for a second before bursting out laughing. No wonder she didn't know why I was gone. It had been at least four hours since I had left. I had assumed when I woke her up she would stay awake, but I guess she’s just a deep sleeper and went back to bed.
I ruffle her hair and say, “Sorry Alice, I didn't realize you were such a deep sleeper. I’m still learning about you, so can you please forgive me? I promise I tried to tell you I was heading out before I left.”
At the mention of my lost memories she grows timid and responds, “Mm. It’s okay. Just be sure to tell me properly next time, okay Stein?”
“Yeah, I promise.”
“So what did you go out to get?”
I flash my newly acquired coat, “I managed to find this abandoned outside a bar. I think some drunk forgot it so I helped myself.”
“Won’t he come back looking for it?”
I wave my finger in front of her face, “Whoever left it made the mistake of drinking alcohol, which is an evil substance Alice. He chose to intoxicate himself and therefore must accept the consequences.” I wave my arms like a preacher speaking a sermon to try and force a rather arbitrary worldview onto Alice.
She simply frowned at my spiel and said, “Mm. It still seems kind of wrong.” She folded her arms and I knew she wouldn't budge on the matter. I tried to brush off her reservations by moving swiftly to the next topic at hand.
“I also asked around at the market for food and got us these.” I flipped open the inside of my coat and revealed the bread and tantos bark I had acquired earlier. I had lost the alma somewhere along my chase.
I heard her stomach rumble and could have sworn I saw a trail of saliva drip from her mouth as she stared intently at the food in my hands. I break one of the loaves of bread in half and hand it to her. She takes it wordlessly and immediately begins to tear into it.
“Hey, chew before you swallow. Don't eat too fast Alice.” I scold her. I watch as she does as I told her.
I watch her continue to eat and try and think of how to explain away my next item.
“Alice… I was also looking through the trash of some other shops and found this.” I bring out the book I had struggled so desperately for. I had removed the packaging beforehand to try and make this lie more plausible.
"Since it was thrown out anyway nobody should care that it's missing so I thought we could use it. Right, Alice?" Even I know my smile probably looks like the desperate fabrication it is.
As she looks at the book I pulled out I see her stop chewing and frown. She swallows her current mouthful and sets her food on a box next to her. She looks at the book in my hands and says nothing. Then she slowly reaches out her hands towards the book.
But she grabs my hand, ignoring the book I'm holding. "Stein, it's okay. I know you took this from somebody. I know you probably stole all our food as well." I see tears form in her eyes. "I've known for a while. I know you did it even before you forgot everything. I know you did it even after father always told us how evil thieves are. I know… I know you do it to try and protect me. But Stein, if you continue down this path I'm afraid I won't be able to recognize you anymore. So please… please don't steal things we don't need. I beg of you."
Her tears flowed freely down her face, and confronted with such an earnest desire I couldn't help but give in.
“Alright Alice, I won't steal anything we don't absolutely need.” I placed my hand on her head and ruffled her dirty hair around. “As soon as I’m finished with this book I’ll see if I can return it to the owner. Until then I need it.”
She looked at the book again, seeming to actually register the title for the first time. “Beginner magic? Didn’t you already know magic Stein?”
“If I knew it before maybe I’ll be able to pick it up faster this time.”
I saw her wince, “Ah, yeah.” Then she perked up, “I’ll try and help teach you, that way you’ll learn even faster!”
I laughed and ruffled her hair again. “Alright then, how about we get started right now while we eat?”
“Mm!” She picked her food back up and sat on a crate, patting the spot next to her. I took it and opened the book to start reading.
******
A week has gone by since I started studying magic.
Alice has tried to keep me on a leash, barely letting me out of her sight lest she get mad. After hearing how she feels about me stealing stuff I can understand why, and since I want to get on her good side it doesn't really bother me.
We’ve been getting by on handouts on the street. People in this town are much kinder to the homeless than I expected. We almost always go back to our secluded alley with enough food to get by on after just a few hours. It’s a stark contrast to what I’m used to. Usually in the cities I visited before I died the homeless were treated more like a plague.
We visit Zak, the priest at the church regularly as well. He’s a lot nicer than his appearance would suggest. Despite seeming endlessly busy with his work he always makes time to entertain Alice and teach me things about this world I’ve found myself in. Though despite his kindness I still can’t bring myself to let my guard down around him. I remember certain priests in my old world had a sickening tendency to grow… overly attached to children that weren’t their own. I won’t let that happen here.
Staying on guard has become something of a second nature by now. Alice is without a doubt a major klutz and sometimes I feel like it would be risky asking her to do simple tasks. When we sit on the major roads I let her do most of the appealing to strangers' compassion. My eyes are always on the people who pass us by, and the shadows. There has been more than one occasion in this week alone I’ve seen suspicious people eyeing us up. I always make sure they catch my glare and a flash of the steel under my cloak. After we’re done collecting food I always make sure to take us on winding paths through the market and out different exits so we can disappear.
Thinking of the dagger I picked up from Al, I had thought Alice would be absolutely against me carrying it around. But when I brought it up she didn’t say much of anything about it. I guess even though she’s a klutz she isn’t stupid. Even she realizes we’re vulnerable as we are now.
The rest of my time has been spent studying and practicing. The magic of this world is far more complex than I had been anticipating. I had been hoping it would be similar to an rpg system, with simple predetermined spells that spent X amount of MP.
Instead I had to sift through complicated lectures of soul particles, the soul corridor, arrays, and types of spells. Thankfully most of these concepts are called by more familiar names. Also since it wasn't like I had much else to do I've pretty much finished the book already despite how dense it is.
Soul particles in a simple term is mana. Within the context of spell casting they're basically like the bullet in a gun. Every living being absorbs soul particles unconsciously and uses them to nourish their own soul. Magicians simply take the mana they've collected and shape it to their desires. Once a spell is activated the mana used simply returns to the environment, and the magician will refill on mana over time. Alice also taught me that you can put yourself in a state of ‘perfect harmony’ and reabsorb mana faster that way. So basically after you cast spells you need to meditate to fill yourself back up fast.
The term soul particles was especially interesting to me as it reminded me of the sight that was shown to me when I came here. The image of the giant wheel crushing souls into specks of light and those specks raining down on the world below. Initially I thought this made sense, soul particles are created from the remnants of souls and they rain down to fill the world with mana. But according to the book all the soul particles in this world stem from the Great Creator, buried deep below the earth. The Great Creator is supposed to release soul particles to rise up through the ground and keep the world in perfect balance.
While I wonder what the truth of the matter is, it doesn't change anything. Mana is made from the particles of souls. Those particles are stored within a person's soul and are siphoned out of the soul to create spells with a person's innate soul corridor. A soul corridor is basically a pathway between the soul and the real world, because they exist on different planes of existence.
Then we have arrays, the most simple and complicated part of magic. In complicated terms, an array is a thought construction that a magician places over a soul corridor to give the mana flowing through it a form. Arrays can supposedly be infinitely complex and create any phenomena that could ever exist. This creates the spells you cast. In simple terms a magician creates spells based on concepts, and the brain fashions an array over the soul corridor to manifest that spell's effect. Usually a caster uses an incantation and/or hand signs as an aide to form an array, but for the most part it gets formed automatically.
The biggest takeaway from arrays is they can create any spell effect you could imagine. Too lazy to cook your food? Just use magic to have it cook itself, no fire necessary. Want to stand on the ceiling? Reverse gravity in an area. Want to hide? Make it look like an alley has a wall in front of it.
Naturally it isn't like just anyone can do anything. To even form an array you need a level of understanding of the concept you're trying to create. So while something like nuclear fission was probably a possibility through magic, the starter spells are generally elemental related. I cannot believe the gall of this book to tell me I can do literally anything with magic, then just straddle me with doing basic rpg spells.
The most basic magic generally revolves around the standard fire, ice, air, and earth. As annoying as that is after being told magic can do literally anything, it makes sense. Since magic is based on familiarity with a concept the core elements are easy to teach. After all, everybody knows what fire is, what it looks like, and what it does. Therefore, the standard comprehension of the concept of fire is quite high, making it a perfect beginner lesson.
It had taken me a full three days to be able to cast my first spell. I had to have lengthy discussions with Alice about various concepts the book only mentioned in passing and had to repeatedly ask her what I was actually supposed to be doing.
But after those long hours of effort I was able to create a small ball of fire hovering an inch above my index finger. I was actually so unprepared for my 800th or so attempt to work I just stared at that little flame in dumb surprise until it burnt my finger.
After I was able to grasp the basics with that first spell I progressed rapidly. It had been a great demonstration of just how important the familiarity of your concept was to actually activate your spell. Both the book and Alice had been telling me to just imagine my finger as a candle, but I never used candles in my past life. I obviously knew how a candle worked and what it looks like but I never had the need to use one. My success had come from letting my thoughts wander and thinking of my finger as a cigarette lighter, something I actually used in my old world.
It also served as a great basis to teach me how it actually felt to manipulate mana. I can’t accurately describe how it feels to manipulate mana, just that it comes naturally once you start using it a bunch, similar to walking or swimming.
From there I moved on to ice, which I found very easy to replicate. Unlike fire, ice is simply a matter of lowering the temperature of water until it freezes. So we used a bucket we had been using for latrine purposes and filled up some water for me to freeze, and unfreeze. I experimented with water for a good bit after that as well. At a point I realized magic could be used to apply a directionality to something, so I made spires of water rise from our bucket. After that I had been levitating globs of water to experiment with magic affecting physical mass. I tried freezing the water balls I had floating around but as soon as I tried to activate the freezing spell the balls fell out of the air and I was left with a nice mess to clean up. Which I did with magic.
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I asked Alice about why that happened and she told me that multicasting is an advanced art and is really hard to do. It has something to do with layering arrays on top of each other, which makes them more complex and difficult. When I asked if she could do it she said she couldn't, and that's why she hasn't been using magic. If she uses magic the illusory wall that protects us will disappear and we'll be exposed until she puts it back up. The wall is also the reason she doesn't venture beyond the market district and central area with the church. If she goes too far away her supply of mana will cut off and the wall will disappear.
I spent basically the entirety of my 8th day in this world floating as many balls of water around our alley as I could. As the day went on I was gradually able to add more and more. I tried accelerating them as well, but the fastest I could make them go was around the speed of a soft toss. This happened to be the max velocity I could manage for ice chunks and fire balls as well. This was a really big problem for me, if I needed to protect myself with magic lobbing a slow blob of magical something at my enemy would prove rather ineffective.
I didn't get to ponder the question for that much longer since I felt the onset of a head splitting migraine. Alice saw me in pain and came over to help move me where I could lie down. Evidently Alice had been waiting for this to happen and explained using mana past your capacity leaves you with a massive migraine.
The migraine persisted through the night and into the next day, which I don't really remember much of.
******
The 10th day
I groaned as I awoke on the now familiar wooden crates that I had been using for a kind of makeshift bed. The fact that the light of day streaming in from between the buildings didn't cause me to recoil like some kind of vampire was a nice sign I was getting over that migraine. Alice was already up and snacking on some leftover fruit we had.
"Good morning Alice." I say rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
“Morning Stein, are you feeling better today?”
“Getting there. How are we on food?”
“We need to get some more today. I want to say hello to Zak as well.”
“Alright, well let's get going then.” I say as I pull myself off my back.
Going through the markets started as a nauseating blur of colors that slowly settled back into shops and stalls. By the time we got to the market I was more or less steady on my feet and aware again.
To my surprise the central square was much busier than usual, with construction workers and priests walking around and doing various tasks. Off on one side of the plaza a massive stage is being built. Several children are running around and playing, some messing with the construction workers as they carry lumber to their project.
I also see our favorite priest Zak outside the church looking over documents on what is essentially a flimsy popup table. I realize as I look at him sitting under the only alcove in front of the cathedral that I've never actually seen him outside the church. I had thought his pale complexion was maybe due to some racial trait I wasn't aware of, but seeing him covering in the shade on a nice bright day I think he just has an aversion to the light.
Walking over to him I called out, “I do believe this is the first time I’ve seen you come out of your sanctum, father Zak. Some part of me was wondering whether you were afraid of the open air.”
I felt an elbow land directly into my side and heard Alice hiss, ”Rude!”
I heard Zak laugh, seeing me beaten into submission by my younger sister. “It seems the delinquents life is not for you, young Stein. Not with the firm hand of kind young Alice here to guide you.”
Alice ran up beside him under the shade and peeked at the paper he was currently looking over. He rubbed her head affectionately and she smiled happily.
“So what does bring you out from your modestly lavish holy palace father Zak? Must be something big to have drawn you outside.”
He waved the paper he was holding, “I’m in charge of overseeing finances and some general management of the upcoming summer festival.”
“A festival, huh? What’s being celebrated?”
“Alice hasn’t told you? The official name is the Festival of Warmth, commonly referred to as the summer festival. I figured Alice would have talked your ear off about it yesterday after I told her it was coming up soon.”
“Stein wasn’t feeling well yesterday, so I was gonna tell him today! I guess I forgot. Stein, the summer festival is coming up and we’re going.”
“I see, alright.” I made a mental note to have a very stern conversation with Alice later about leaving the alley alone. If something had happened to her while I was barely conscious…
“By the way Stein, this is one of four festivals held every year by the church. The others are the Golden Festival, the Festival of Ice, and the Festival of Life. Each one correlates to the season it's based in.” He paused and got a slightly worried look on his face. “You do remember the seasons at least, right Stein?”
“Summer, fall, winter, spring, right?”
“Yes that is correct.” I saw him breathe a sigh of relief that he didn’t have to explain the seasons.
So even the seasons are the same, huh?
“So what brings you two here today? I’m afraid I am a little busy so I don’t have much time to play today.”
“Hey! You said you would show us something really cool if we came to see you for the festival!” Alice was apparently under the assumption the festival was happening the day after she had been told about it.
“C’mon Alice, clearly he meant when the festival is ready. Can’t you see they’re still building and setting stuff up? You’ll have to wait. Zak, when is the festival supposed to happen?”
“The scheduled date is set five days from today. Sorry Alice, I should have been more specific.” He tried rubbing her head again to relieve her anger but she continued pouting.
“Father Zak, I know you’re busy but would you mind watching over Alice for just a few minutes? I have… business inside.” I say looking towards the cathedral.
“Business? Ah, yes of course. Very well, I’ll keep an eye on Alice. I’m glad you have decided to open your heart to our benevolent creator. Prayer can help in many ways.” He said, a kind smile showing on his face.
“Uh, right.” Was all I said before heading inside the cathedral.
In my previous life I was never really religious and usually became very uncomfortable when believers would preach about their savior and guiding light and whatnot.
I take a seat on one of the benches closer to the front. The central statue was pretty imposing and now that I see it up close I realized it had no face. I suppose that's supposed to represent Bymos’ changing forms.
I can’t remember if I had ever prayed before in my old world, so I’m not really sure how it goes. Though I guess this isn't exactly the same as a regular prayer so it shouldn’t matter.
You’re there, aren’t you. I have questions.
“I was starting to wonder if you would ever actually call upon my help or if you would just continue all on your own.”
I opened my ‘eyes’ to find myself in a void much like I was previously. I was back to having no body and before me was my old self, looking as shitty as ever. As I adjusted to my surroundings I felt a distinct difference from last time. I still felt like a free floating soul, but I also felt distinctly more full.
“As I had hoped, your soul takes to mana like a fish to water. My calculations told me it would, but it is still a relief to see I was right.”
What do you mean? Explain.
He frowned “That’s a complicated answer. Is your first question really for exposition on the mechanics of this world?”
When you lead with such a concerning statement yes absolutely I want an explanation.
“I suppose that's fair.” He sighed. “In simple terms I mean your soul is compatible with mana, the foundation of the world. You read about soul particles in your book right? Mana is the souls that have been broken down into particles that are then dispersed by the Wheel. Mana eventually congregates back into a complete soul when a new life gathers the mana around it to create a soul of it’s own. The souls of this world are similar to a patchwork cloth, they’re amalgamations of souls that have been recycled over eons. Because of this cycle of renewal the souls of this world are highly compatible with the free floating soul particles that litter the world. The souls of sentient beings continue to absorb mana even after their soul is completely formed, and soak it up like a sponge. Magicians and Sorcerers use the mana their soul has absorbed to cast spells. Which brings me back to the main point. Your soul is fundamentally different from the souls of this world in that it isn't composed of the pieces of recycled souls. If a regular soul can be visualized as a bunch of pebbles glued together into a big ball your soul is like a polished boulder, complete unto itself. I wasn’t sure it would be compatible with mana, but it seems there was no cause for concern. In fact it is truly amazing how well your soul has adapted instantly to the presence of mana. Your potential as a sorcerer far surpasses that of the average magician. But I digress. Does that alleve your concern on that matter?”
I suppose it does. I think I’ll try and keep my next questions simple.
“Yes, I too would find that preferable.”
I’ll start off with a simple one then. I’ve been operating under the assumption you are Bymos, the core deity of the church I am currently in.
“That’s correct, I am Bymos.”
What was your intention of starting the church?
This wasn’t one of my pressing concerns but it was something I was curious about so I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask.
“I didn’t create the church. My role is to keep this world in balance, and a long time ago I realized how dull a task that truly is. So I took up a pastime. I started helping random people who otherwise may have met an unfortunate end.”
His eyes wandered. “It does get lonely, being the only one who can view the world as I do. So I tried to fill that void with bonds. They are fleeting, fragile bonds broken almost as soon as they’re made. But those bonds drew a like minded group together, and they created the first church after my ideals. So I never really intended on starting a church or movement or anything at all really. I was just lonely.” He finished with a soft smile.
It finally clicked in my mind why I was so off put from Bymos. In my previous world in every form of story I had read gods were self-important beings who expected humankind to worship and revere them. But Bymos was strikingly different. It was eerie seeing someone who called himself a god feel so remarkably human.
Is the church trustworthy? Father Zak says he’s working to find an orphanage for me and Alice, but I’m not certain I can trust him. In my previous world priests sometimes had an ugly fascination with children.
“I can’t vouch for the entire church but a great majority are fully intent on doing good in the world. In your time violent action against others without government approval was punished harshly under your laws, it’s much the same here but in this world the church is basically a government itself. Be it a positive or negative, this world is much less forgiving and kind than yours. Behavior like what you’re afraid of would not escape the eyes of the inquisition for long.”
All right, I guess we’ll continue with the current situation and see how things develop.
“Speaking of Zak, why did you lie to him when you first met? People who have met me are usually given favor from the church. If you went to him and explained the truth of your situation you could considerably improve your living conditions.”
No, I won’t do that.
“Why?”
My conflicting feelings whirled in my chest as I tried to come up with an answer to that question. It’s one I knew I would have to face at one point, but still didn’t have a concrete answer for.
I guess… I just don’t know what the consequences of revealing something like that would be. How would people react to hearing I’m a foreign soul who stole the body of a helpless teenager?
“True, I can’t say I can predict the outcome of such a confession. But still, you could just say I was there and lent you a helping hand. You could still receive the church's favor that way.”
I still won’t. I don’t know why, I just won’t.
He remained silent for a few seconds before delivering a blow that hit deeper than a punch ever could. “You know such needless pride could cost you and your sister your lives.”
Shut up! Don’t call her that!
“Your sister? What’s wrong with stating a fact? She is your sister now whether you like it or not.”
No! Alice is not my sister nor will she ever be!
“I didn’t expect that you would resent her so much.”
I don’t.
“Then why?”
Silence.
She doesn't deserve someone like me as a brother. She deserves better. Much better.
More silence.
“I see. Well I suggest you do something about that because I will tell you this for certain; Alice needs her brother now more than she ever has or ever will.”
I will protect her, but not as her brother. I will wade through a river of mud and stain my hands with the blood of the world if it means keeping her safe. But never will I allow myself to think of her as my sister.
“Very well then. Are there any other questions or concerns before we wrap this up?”
No, I mainly wanted to know how trustworthy the church is.
“Alright. I won’t be sticking around that much longer, so if you have any more pressing concerns I would find time to ask them soon before I move on.”
You can’t just appear everywhere at once?
“I am not omniscient. I simply wander or appear when a convergence of fate occurs. And I cannot linger in any place or disaster will follow.”
A convergence of fate? Is that what brought Arnstein to your attention?
“Sorry, but I won’t be answering that. Until we meet again.”
The void faded and I opened my eyes to see Bymos in statue form before me.
A convergence of fate, huh?
The plaza was just as bustling as it was when I left it, if not more so. Walking over to Zak I didn’t fail to notice Alice was no longer with him.
“What happened to watching over Alice?” I ask taking a stance next to him.
Zak looked up from a different paper than the one he was looking at earlier and pointed toward one of the central fountains, “Right over there.”
Looking toward the indicated fountain I saw her running and playing with a group of other children around the fountain. Looking around more generally I noticed several other sets of people watching the children. Parents, I assumed.
“It's funny,” I heard from next to me. “Despite how much more dark and desperate her situation is, she seems to shine like the brightest gem of the bunch. Even though her clothes are filthy, her hair is a mess, and she's covered in grime, she seems like she finds some way to enjoy herself more than the others. She’s something special, Stein. You make sure to take care of her, no matter what.”
“Yeah.”