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Starlit Odyssey
10: Departure and Goodbye

10: Departure and Goodbye

To say the priest Zak Hop had mixed feelings about the contract he had just become a part of would be an understatement. Over the past month he had grown to genuinely care for the siblings that had appeared out of nowhere. He had inquired around with the other priests and children who visited the cathedral to play but none of them could ever remember seeing the brother sister pair.

Perhaps the thing that made them stick out most was that they preferred his company over that of any of the other priests. Zak had never been very social, and he preferred to keep to himself and be absorbed in his duties as the city's contractor. So when the brother of the two had come to him seeking aid with the cowering sister in tow he couldn’t have been more surprised. But almost in a flash the sister opened up to him as well, and he started to think of the two as an integral part of his daily life. Even after the brother lost his memories they kept coming to see them.

In a way he felt that their presence saved him. Though he had joined the church to help people, his natural talent with the pen had quickly earned him the position of contractor, though it wasn’t quite the position he had hoped for. Day in and out he dealt with merchants at each other's throats, property disputes, and various appeals. It was a life far removed from the path of kindness he had envisioned. But he was still helping people in a way, and that made him content. Until those two came along, that is. With them around the days that had started to blur became vibrant and joyful.

And now he had written a contract that bound one to a life of servitude to a man he had hoped never to see again. The irony made him want to puke.

“Will you be alright, father Zak?”

Stein’s words shocked Zak out of his thoughts.

He’s just been traded into a life of servitude and he’s asking if I’ll be alright?

“Why yes, of course I will, Stein.”

“I was worried when you offered to include yourself in the contract. I guess it just seems kind of cruel that you’ll die if you can’t manage to get Alice into that program.”

Zak smiled, “Not necessarily. The contract states I just have to get her into a program. One that offers the types of benefits we discussed. If I fail to have Alice accepted into the one at Bolis then I’ll try and find another. And if there simply aren’t any I can always just make my own.”

“I see, I hadn’t thought of that. Where will you have Alice sleeping from now on then?”

“Now that she’s a part of a contract that I, a priest, am bound to it shouldn't be a problem to have her stay within the church. It would have caused problems beforehand, which is why I never offered the suggestion.”

“Are we done here then? I’d like to leave within the hour if we’ve concluded all the necessary steps.” Zeph cut in on their conversation, completely ruining the amiable atmosphere.

The cruelty of that statement stunned Zak. “An hour? He’ll likely never be able to see his sister again and you want to have them say their goodbyes in an hour?”

“The sooner the better.”

Zak is about to continue berating his old friend when Stein cuts him off, “It’s alright, father Zak. Taking longer would just be delaying the inevitable.”

“I’ll be waiting in front of the church. Don’t take longer than an hour.” And with that Zeph exits Zak’s office.

“I guess… I guess we should go find Alice.” Zak said, feeling a dread settling in his stomach.

“Mmm.” Was Stein’s only reply.

When they got to the garden they saw Alice playing with a group of children. Stein and Zak sit on a bench together and silently watch her play for a few minutes. Eventually she notices them and Stein beckons her over.

“Stein, Stein! Lilia says she thinks she knows somewhere we can stay since our other home isn’t safe anymore! Isn’t that great Stein? Everyone is so nice around here.”

“Er, yeah. That’s great, Alice.” Alice senses Stein’s awkwardness and cocks her head. “The thing is, Alice… I’ve arranged for you to stay with father Zak for a while, so we don’t have to look for somewhere new to stay at all.”

Alice’s face lights up, “Yay! We’ll have so much fun with Zak!”

“Erm, Alice. I’m afraid it’ll just be you and Zak. I have to leave for a while.”

A look of confusion comes over Alice. “Oh, that's too bad then. Why would you say we’re staying with Zak if you just said we’re leaving somewhere?”

“Alice. You will be staying with father Zak. I will be leaving for a while. I’m sorry, but you can’t come with me.”

Alice takes a moment to try and process what Stein is telling her. The more she thinks about it the more visibly aggravated she becomes. “Don’t want to.” She finally says.

“Alice…”

“No! I don’t want to go somewhere without you, Stein! Why would you even say something like that?”

“Alice, listen. I’ve found a place that’s safe, where you won’t have to worry about food or clothing, or sleeping on crates every night.”

“But if you’re not there with me then what’s the point!?” Tears started flowing down Alice’s face now. “Even though mom and dad are gone and there’s no one left for us… Even though you promised you wouldn’t leave me like they did… Why, Stein? Why would you say something so mean?”

Oh, Alice… Zak almost couldn’t bear to watch this exchange.

“Just because mom and dad are gone doesn’t mean we can go around doing whatever we want!” Stein's shout shocked both Alice and Zak, and Alice’s sobs came to a choking halt and she recoils.

Stein takes a deep breath to steady himself. “Alice. It’s because mom and dad are gone I have to do whatever it takes to keep you safe. I know it’ll be lonely but there's no other way. We can’t just keep living off the streets, it’s too dangerous.”

“But Stein… I don’t want you to leave. Where will you go?”

“I have to go on a trip. You see Zak is going to take you to a place where the church can look after you, but they only have room for you right now. So I’ll be taking a different route, a longer one. But don’t worry Alice, when there’s room for more I’ll be joining you.”

Oh no. Please don’t go this route, Stein.

“How long would it be till I see you again, Stein?”

“Oh I think we’ll be together again in a year at most. Even though it sounds like a long time it won’t seem that long.”

“You promise, Stein?” Alice was still sniffling but looked at her brother with pleading eyes.

“I… Of course, Alice. I promise.”

The weight of that lie made Zak feel like his soul was about to shatter. How could a child shoulder the burden of such a lie and still look at his kin so fondly? Of course, Zak knew full well why it had been told. If Alice knew that Stein was leaving forever it would likely end in an attempt to follow him, and Zak knew that was something Stein couldn’t allow to happen.

But still, such an awful and cruel lie…

Stein rubbed Alice’s head as she continued to sniffle. “Don’t worry Alice, we’ll be together again before you know it. Why don’t you try and keep track of all the neat things you experience while we’re apart so you can tell me all about your journey when we reunite?”

“Mmm,” and a nod was all Alice could muster.

Stein left Alice’s side and walked back to Zak. “Is there somewhere I could be alone for a while?” Stein’s facial expression was unreadable.

Zak tried to mimic the boy’s poker face but knew he was failing. He wanted to give a simple answer but couldn’t help saying in a low voice, “You know when she realizes the truth she’ll never forgive you, right?”

Stein simply nodded. Zak continued, “If this is how you’re content to leave I won’t stop you. There's a side garden that’s barely used, you should be able to find solitude there.”

“Thank you, father Zak.”

“I’ll make sure Alice is there to see you off, so you’ll be able to say a proper goodbye.”

Stein simply nodded again before following the directions to the side garden.

Zak sighed and walked over to Alice to try and offer some measure of comfort, though he wasn’t sure how much he could do.

***

I wandered alone in the halls of the grand cathedral, lost in my thoughts. Soon enough I came upon the side garden, exactly where Zak had said it would be. It was tiny, barely two rows of overgrown hedges with some weed filled flower beds. It was off an entirely unused corridor, and it was obviously in a state of prolonged disrepair. I found it a perfect spot to sit and wait.

Soon enough I heard them, the footsteps that I had been expecting. I sat among the hedges, and as I waited and listened I saw a person step around a hedge and into the little area I was occupying. However, it wasn’t the figure I had been expecting.

Before me stood the splitting image of Arnstein.

“I didn’t expect you to take on that appearance. I thought you would’ve shown up as my old self again.”

“From this world’s perspective there isn’t any difference between the two of you now. You’re a part of each other, unable to exist without the other. A unified being.”

“Whatever. I take it this can be considered the conclusion of our little bargain?”

“Indeed. Though it came to a conclusion far faster than I had anticipated. It strains the terms of our agreement a bit, but trading your life so that Alice has a better equipped guardian bound to her fits the deal I would agree. I must ask though, are you really okay with this?”

“Yeah.”

“Why? With this you’ve basically thrown away the second chance that you’ve been given. You had the potential to do anything in this world, but you’ve wasted that potential. Why?”

“I just.. still don’t think I deserve it.” I think back over the two weeks I’ve been here and feel a small smile form on my face. “You know in the time I’ve been here we’ve basically lived like animals. Taking whatever scraps we can manage, sleeping in horrible conditions, having to fight tooth and nail just for survival. But through it all I was happy. Far happier than I can remember ever being in the past. These two weeks I’ve spent with Alice have been precious to me beyond compare.”

My smile becomes sardonic, “It was so precious I couldn’t help being disgusted.”

“What?” For the first time since I’ve met this self-proclaimed god, Bymos seems genuinely confused. “How can something that precious to you also disgust you?”

“Don’t get the wrong idea. It wasn’t Alice, our time together, or even the horrid living conditions we’ve suffered through that disgusted me. It was simply… myself I was disgusted with.”

At this I paused, and Bymos just waited for me to continue. Eventually I just sighed and did, “No matter what I did or tried, everything I did felt like it ended in failure. I tried to help us out of poverty through theft, and got scolded in return. I tried to learn magic to protect us, but wasn’t there when Alice was attacked. In the end I just couldn’t see any way out of our situation. But through it all she just shined like the brightest star in the sky. She’s so pure she wouldn’t allow for theft, even though we were starving without it. During the festival she dragged Zak and me around like she was leading a parade, even though we were dressed in rags. And the more I was around that star the deeper my resentment became.”

“But that resentment was never directed toward Alice. It welled up from deep inside like a sickening tar, and it ate at me like nothing I’ve ever known. The pinnacle came yesterday, when I killed that man. After I killed him I tried so hard to feel something, anything, so I could tell myself I still had some bit of that goodness Alice has overflowing in her in me as well. But I couldn’t deny the truth. Looking down at the body of the man I killed I felt nothing. No sorrow or remorse for the loss of a life, not even hatred for what he had tried to do. That’s when I became afraid.”

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

“Afraid? I thought this was about resentment?”

“I’ve managed to be a good role model for her so far. I’ve managed to replace Arnstein and convince her that her brother is still somewhere inside, memories locked away. But when I killed that man I realized that that’s not me. And I know I won’t be able to keep up the charade forever. Eventually she will realize that I’m not who she thinks I am. She’ll realize that the brother she looked up to and loved so dearly has been replaced with something terrible and vile. And that thought scares me more than anything. It scares me more than any dark future, any idea of either of us meeting some tragic and grisly demise.”

“That’s what disgusts me. The fact that I care more about how she sees me than even her safety. I know that day will come, it's just a matter of time. And if that’s what the future holds I’d rather throw it away, even if it means I have to live the life of a slave in its place.”

My shoulders slump after I finish giving my monologue. “I don’t need your second chance. Something like that should be saved for someone like her, somebody so innocent and beautiful it feels like to hurt her would be to wound yourself far deeper. So I’ll cast it aside. I’ll cast it aside so somebody like her can have even the slightest chance to know the joy of life. After all, I think second chances should be saved for those who deserve them.”

A long silence follows after I finish.

“Very well, if that’s what you’ve decided I won’t get in your way. But what do you plan on doing now that you’ve sold yourself into a life of servitude?”

“Even if I’m a slave I have no intention of just throwing my life away. I still believe if there’s any good I can do to mend my aching heart I should do it. Though I don’t think there will be many chances for that on a battlefield.” The next part I say under my breath, “And besides, to just give up and die would be an insult to the life of the child who should rightfully own this body.”

“Since that’s the case there's just one final bit of business to attend to before we part.”

“What do you mean? I completed your little favor, we should be done here.”

Bymos coughs and starts to speak in a grand voice, “For the debt I, Bymos owe you for completing this favor I shall bestow upon you a greater blessing.”

“I don’t need something like that. Didn’t you hear me? Just take it and give it to somebody else, someone who deserves it.”

“No.” Bymos’ voice was suddenly ice cold, and a jolt of fear runs down my spine. “A blessing is not the only thing you deserve, Stein. I believe you were warned before. About that which I abhor, perhaps even more than the loss of life. In this place dedicated to me you choose to make a promise, one you don’t have any intention of ever fulfilling.”

“Would you rather I just let Alice know she’s being abandoned? I lied so she won’t have to face that harsh truth while she’s still so young. Nobody should have to face such an awful reality at that age, especially after everything she’s already been through.”

“Regardless, it was a promise without any intention to ever see it to fruition. I don’t think I’ve seen anything in perhaps the last 200 years that has managed to piss me off this much.”

“Take your pretentious virtue signaling and fuck off.”

“Have you forgotten you stand within a place of worship dedicated to me? I alone reign supreme in these halls. And for this breach of my one and only law, the only rule I ever asked be upheld, I shall lay a curse upon you, Stein.”

“Huh?”

He once again uses his grand voice, but the coldness of his tone remains, “I curse you, Stein. One day you shall, with absolute certainty, know the weight of a promise broken, and you will feel the despair that comes with such a crime.”

His righteous posturing stuns me for a moment, but then I can’t help but laugh. I don’t bother hiding it, I laugh straight in his face and say, “All right then, since we’re laying it all out on the table I’ll say my piece too. You know, I just earlier realized why it is you would bother going so far out of your way to save two starving kids on the street. It’s your grand idea of ‘clockwork destiny’ or whatever, right? Alice or I must have some big role to play, and something tells me it was supposed to be me. You acted like it was Alice who needed to be saved but really you couldn’t allow Arnstein to die. You could have done any number of things to help Alice alone out of that situation, but instead you went so far as to fetch a soul from a different dimension to save Arnstein as well.”

“I doubt you expected this outcome, that your precious pawn of destiny just went and sold himself off as some worthless mercenary slave. Sucks for you, I guess, but damn is it funny to me.”

Bymos is very still and quiet through my little tirade, but now says, “The gears of fate are not so easily broken. Especially not one as large as Arnstein’s.”

“Maybe, but I’d bet a lot they came damn close to that breaking point.”

Bymos says nothing to this and we just stare at each other, his expression unreadable while I don’t bother masking my hostility.

Eventually I grow bored of our little standoff, “I’ve had enough of this little farce, I’m out of here.”

I march off out of the garden and down the empty corridor, not bothering to look back. I wander a bit before I find what looks like an unused storage room. Taking a seat on a crate I’m finally left alone with my thoughts.

Why can’t I stop thinking about Alice? Having to part from a girl I barely know shouldn’t hurt this bad, dammit.

************

Heading out of the doors to the cathedral I see everyone else has already assembled. Zeph is leaned against the side of the building and Zak is standing close by with Alice next to him, hanging her head.

I head over to Alice, “I suppose this is goodbye for now, Alice.” I try to give my best attempt at a smile.

“Mmm.”

“Come now Alice, your brother is leaving. If you don’t manage to say goodbye properly now you won’t be able to for a very long while.” Zak chimed in with some support. He looked and sounded very strained. I guess it was cruel to leave Alice to him when I did.

Alice suddenly threw herself onto me, tears pouring down her face again. “I love you, Stein! I don’t want you to leave!”

“I know. I know.” Is all I can say while I pat her on the back.

This time I just let Alice’s tears flow until they slow down on their own. After the downpour subsides she releases me and I put my hands on her shoulders. “Alice, from here on out we’ll each be going on our own separate journeys. There’s so much of this world either of us has yet to see, so this is a great opportunity. Even if we’re apart, try and remember the best of the things you see and experience so that when we meet again we can tell each other all about the wonderful things we saw.”

“Mmm.”

“Goodbye, Alice. Until we meet again.”

“G-Goodbye, Stein.”

With that I stand up, pat her head one last time, and walk over to where Zeph is leaned against the wall. “All ready, kid?”

“Yeah.”

Zeph stood up and motioned for me to follow before walking away from the church and heading down a market street. I followed behind without a word, and without looking back. Even without looking back I can hear the renewed sobbing of Alice.

***

Zak did his best to console a teary eyed Alice after Stein left to seek solitude, and after a little bit of persuading he managed to get her to agree to be at the front of the church to say goodbye to her brother. He asked one of the nuns to look after her to make sure she couldn’t run off, and started walking down the path to the side garden.

He understood why Stein had lied to his sister, truly. But he also knew a lie like that hurt both parties, and solitude likely wasn’t what Stein truly needed right now. So he was surprised when he drew close to the garden and he heard Stein’s voice.

As a priest, Zak had become accustomed to waiting to introduce his presence in a conversation at the right time. Sometimes people had conversations they would rather not have interrupted, and Zak was well versed at reading a crowd. It would also be inaccurate to call him an eavesdropper, as he only listened to conversations he had an intention to become a part of. So following his old habits, Zak took up position next to a hedge and started to listen, waiting to see what the right time to enter was.

“Very well, if that’s what you’ve decided I won’t get in your way. But what do you plan on doing now that you’ve sold yourself into a life of servitude?”

“Even if I’m a slave I have-”

He’s… talking to himself? No, wait!

Zak looked through a gap in the shrubbery and saw what he had never expected to actually see himself. In the small garden there were two Steins.

Bymos himself! Is he here to help Stein out of the contract he just became a part of?

Again, while it can be said Zak was not an eavesdropper, at this moment he was, in fact, eavesdropping.

“I still believe if there’s any good I can do to mend my aching heart I should do it. Though I don’t think there will be many chances for that on a battlefield.”

“Since that’s the case there's just one final bit of business to attend to before we part.”

Wait, they’re already done? Bymos isn’t going to help? What’s going on here?

“What do you mean? I completed your little favor, we should be done here.”

“For the debt I, Bymos owe you for completing this favor I shall bestow upon you a greater blessing.”

Whaaaaaaat? A blessing, here? I’m not even sure when the last confirmed blessing happened. If I remember right, it was at least 30 years ago! And now one is happening here, now? And what does he mean, greater blessing? Do we even have any records of something like that happening?

“I don’t need something like that. Didn’t you hear me? Just take it and give it to somebody else, someone who deserves it.”

Stein, you moron!

“No.” The chill in Bymos’ voice makes Zak recoil. It put dread in Zak’s heart to hear the one he revered, the one who’s duty to kindness he tried to emulate, speak in such a cold and unfeeling voice. Zak listened as Bymos chastised Stein for the empty promise he had made.

“I don’t think I’ve seen anything in perhaps the last 200 years that has managed to piss me off this much.”

“Take your pretentious virtue signaling and fuck off.”

Zak felt his jaw hit the floor. It was like the image of the kind boy who would do anything for his sister was shattering before Zak’s eyes as he watched the boy engage in what seemed like a verbal fistfight with a literal god.

“I curse you, Stein. One day you shall, with absolute certainty, know the weight of a promise broken, and you will feel the despair that comes with such a crime.”

Zak felt a chill settle into his bones as he heard this. In all of the historical archives there were only three recorded events of somebody being cursed by Bymos himself.

What on earth am I witnessing right now?

Zak’s shock was only amplified as Stein let out a feral laugh, one full of mockery and contempt. “All right then, since we’re laying it all out on the table I’ll say my piece too. You know, I just earlier realized why it is you would bother going so far out of your way to save two starving kids on the street. It’s your grand idea of ‘clockwork destiny’ or whatever, right? Alice or I must have some big role to play, and something tells me it was supposed to be me. You could have done any number of things to help Alice alone out of that situation, but instead you went so far as to fetch a soul from a different dimension to save Arnstein as well.”

“I doubt you expected this outcome, that your precious pawn of destiny just went and sold himself off as some worthless mercenary slave. Sucks for you, I guess, but damn is it funny to me.”

More questions than Zak could possibly hope to process whirled through his mind. So Bymos did save Stein? Is Arnstein Stein’s full name? What the hell does he mean, a soul from a different dimension?

“The gears of fate are not so easily broken. Especially not one as large as Arnstein’s.”

“Maybe, but I’d bet a lot they came damn close to that breaking point.”

Stein has a gear of fate significant enough that Bymos would personally step in to prevent a breaking point!? If I recall correctly, the last time a major breaking point occurred was the disaster 700 years ago…

Stein glared at Bymos and Bymos just stared back for a time. Zak just tried to make sure his presence wasn’t noticed. After what felt like an eternity holding his breath, Stein said, “I’ve had enough of this little farce, I’m out of here.” Before marching out of the garden.

Zak hurriedly scrambled to change his position so Stein wouldn’t see where he had been listening in as Stein walked past. Zak heard Stein’s footsteps recede down the hall, away from the garden.

When he heard the footsteps go around a corner Zak breathed a sigh of relief. “I hope you enjoyed our little show.” A voice next to him said.

Zak made a very undignified noise and jumped away from the hedge he had been leaning against. Before him stood Stein, no, Stein’s splitting image. Bymos himself.

Prostrating himself, Zak said, “Lord Bymos! It’s a great honor to behold your image myself! Please forgive me for listening in on what seemed like a private conversation!”

Bymos laughed lightly and just said, “It never fails to amuse me how you priests simply fall over yourselves to try and worship me. You don’t have to be so reverent, you know. In the eyes of the world we’re simply kindred spirits set on helping people in need.”

“Er, yes sir. But… I take it I’m not supposed to talk about what I’ve heard today?”

“Hm? No, you can speak of this, I don’t mind. Or rather, there's nothing I could do to stop you even if I wanted to.”

Zak looked up in surprise, “What, really? Even with how important that conversation seemed?”

“Every person in this world is free to do what they desire. Whether you decide to talk about what happened here today or not is entirely up to you.” Bymos walked up to Zak and put his hand on his shoulder. “I know you’ll do what you believe is right, and that’s all that should matter.”

Removing his hand from Zak’s shoulder, Bymos starts walking down the same corridor Stein did. When he reached the end he turned the opposite way Stein had, and disappeared from Zak’s sight.

Zak felt lightheaded. Stumbling over to the bench in the garden Zak sat down and tried to actually process what he had heard. There were several things that didn’t make sense to him, but what he did understand was that he had made a grave mistake.

I just wrote a contract that binds somebody who received both a blessing and a curse from Bymos himself to the life of a slave. What am I supposed to do now?

Zak thought hard over whether there was any way he could go back to the contract now and try to nullify it. Now that he had seen what he did, something trivial like talent with illusion magic paled in comparison to being a blessed child. If he could find a way to nullify the contract both Stein and his sister could be taken in as people of extreme importance within the church. But no matter how he thought about it Zak just didn’t have the means to try and nullify it by himself.

The contract required both Stein and Zeph be in agreement of the contract's dissolution for it to go into effect. If Zak proposed the contracts nullification to both Stein and Zeph they would both question why. If he told the truth then he knew Zeph would never agree to release a servant that held such value. Zeph could perhaps be persuaded by money, and the excuse that Zak’s conscience had simply gotten the better of him and he wanted to buy Stein’s freedom back, but Zak didn’t have nearly enough money for that.

So despite how he cursed his powerlessness, there was nothing Zak could do. Not on his own at least.

I’ll have to take this directly to the archbishop.

Standing, Zak made his way back to Alice. He knew he had a moral and clerical duty to protect both of these kids, and he wouldn’t stop until he was sure they were taken care of and protected. Even if it meant that he had to let one leave for a life of strife.

I will come back for you, Stein. Wait for me.