“Remember the plan, crew!” Starbeard’s voice bellowed over the raging storm overhead.

Orion floated closer to his bearded counterpart and took in the full scene. The towering figure of Charon was sitting nonchalantly on the throne, watching the Deck Puncher as it slowly turned. Standing at the bow was Starbeard, holding a chipped, white bone cutlass. He turned to address the crew. The assembled misfits looked like haunted house employees on their break. Each one had a different movie monster theme.

The one formerly wearing the charcoal duster was now decked out in a full tuxedo with a purple silk shirt, opera gloves and spats. A black cape with red velvet inner lining was draped regally over their shoulders. An ornate gold amulet with a blood red ruby was hung around their neck. The slender figure had their feet spread and was swaying to and fro, a pair of curved daggers in their clawed hands.

The suit of armor looked like a skeleton that decided to start pumping iron. A skull helm covered its entire face, and the polished black armor had white bone ornamentation shaped like a rib cage. It leaned on a mace that was just an ornately carved coffin, bound skeletal legs protruding from the bottom to make the handle.

The smallest of the group had swapped out the leather apron for a rather dapper looking coachman’s coat. With an ornate leather vest, white button shirt and bow tie he cut a striking figure. The coat sleeves were rolled up and his hands wore riding gloves. The face was still blurred but replaced with teal flame. Grenades in the shape of grinning jack-o-lanterns decorated his belt and bandoleer.

The seal-like berserker was now wearing a torn plaid top that barely covered her breasts and cutoff daisy duke shorts. A gray wolf pelt mantle adorned her shoulders, the wolf’s head worn like a spirit hood. More gray fur tied on with leather belts covered her forearms, and furry boots covered her feet. She wielded a lumberjack ax as big as she was.

The bird woman was wearing the tattered remnants of an Egyptian priestess’s vestments. Her body was partly wrapped head to talon with dingy bandages, a circlet with a cobra’s head could be seen poking out from the mosaic tiles of her face. Clutched in one feathered hand was a long staff topped with a gold ankh. She soared over the Deck Puncher, a radiant glow surrounding the ship like a halo.

Starbeard looked the same, though his Starbeard had been replaced with phantom curls that flowed like hair floating underwater. He was wearing a green doublet, poet shirt with ghostly ruffles, and dark slacks. All of his clothes were a patchwork of different fabrics cobbled together to make a crude gray suit. Orion noticed bolts in the sides of the orc’s green neck, and a strange green hood with a flat top covered with black hair. Starbeard could give Frankenstein’s monster a run for his money.

Starbeard continued, “Don’t get cocky out there. You know Charon’s patterns, just watch out for the area of effect flares during the third stage. If it gets too spicy, we’ll retreat and try again! If you see any gear you want, call it out and we’ll try to distribute it fairly. Ready?”

“Ready!” They echoed in unison.

Orion unsheathed his cutlass and pointed it at Charon.

“Let’s go-”

The scene glitched and seemed to fast forward. Charon was out of the chair. Locked in combat with Armor. The sinister scythe swung down and was deflected by the coffin mace. Charon turned to try and attack Seal Woman who was running around him and hacking at the Ferryman’s legs. and light surrounded him. Charon raised his scythe for a counter-strike, but Armor shouted something in a language that sounded like a choir of angels. A radiant aura surrounded the knight and Charon’s attack turned back the light drew him back to attack Armor again.

A cannon fired behind him and Charon took an explosive shot to the shoulder. The plague mask whipped around to glare at the ship. Orion turned to see Shorty running to another cannon and firing it at the Ferryman again, then running to the next. He realized the Deck Puncher was circling around the raft, keeping the port side of the ship aimed at the Boss. Orion glanced at the wheel and saw Duster expertly steering through the turbulent waters.

The scene fast forwarded again. Black crows wings now rose from Charon’s back, and his posture became more stooped and predatory. He looked more birdlike than ever. Four fiery, green wisps were floating around him as he attacked. Despite the cannonballs and attacking melee fighters, he didn’t appear to be taking any damage. Another shot rang out and one of the wisps exploded, causing Charon to screech like a wounded raven.

Orion spotted Starbeard standing on the ship’s bowsprit, firing at the spirit balls with a rusting blunderbuss. Three more shots in quick succession and Charon started taking damage again, taking a knee as Armor smashed his mace into the boss’s kneecap. The Ferryman’s bony hand swiped out suddenly, smacking armor aside with a clatter of metal. The knight lay there unmoving as the battle commenced, new wisps forming.

Birdy flew around the raft, curving towards the fallen soldier. Ankh staff clutched in her talons, she slowed and uttered words of power. A column of golden light surrounded the knight and broken plate mail knitted back together. She spoke another enchantment, and a halo of orange light surrounded Armor. He charged back in, much faster as he started swinging wildly at Charon.

The scene fast forwarded again and Charon, tattered and broken, was screaming with defeat. Rays of light shot out from the lanky, leathery creature and he exploded into a murder of crows, scattering to the four winds. A sinister looking chest made of graying wood and bone was left where the Ferryman’s body vanished. The Cyclops skull rose out of the water and revealed a huge doorway. Ornately carved doors showing images of volcanoes and birds made of flames. The doors swung open and steam began to roll across the Sea of Souls as the water just beyond the gate turned into boiling magma.

Armor opened up the chest and began to hand out items upon request. The others gathered around, investigating the loot. Starbeard smiled and stepped away, walking back to the Captain’s quarters and sitting down behind the desk. Orion floated after him like a balloon on a string. Starbeard looked tired, as if the fight took more out of him that he was letting on. There was a knock at the door and both Orion Starbeards looked toward the front of the cabin. Duster was peering in through the door.

“Heya, chief!” The tuxedoed figure slipped in, “Was there any loot you wanted us to set aside for you? We’ll save any rifles for you, obvs, but like, there’s a crow pet and the Ferryman’s Raft mount dropped. This is kinda your shindig, so you know, to the victor and all that.”

Starbeard smiled and closed his eyes, leaning back again. “I’m good Lazar. You guys have at it. I’m not in it for the loot.”

Suddenly Lazar Boomslang’s face fully rendered, revealing a handsome Lizardfolk with burgundy scales with a tan underbelly. He had a crest of orange feathers on the top of his head, braided to look like dreadlocks. His eyes were an electric blue, and the half-lidded expression gave Lazar a sleepy kind of look.

“That’s unusual,” Lazar chuckled, “You’re usually all about the loot.”

“Not this time.”

Lazar frowned and walked closer, “Hey. You okay, partner? You’ve been kinda sluggish around the office.”

Starbeard rested his eyes for a moment. Eventually he leaned forward and folded his hands together. “Yeah, just feeling a bit nostalgic,” Starbeard admitted. “Can you believe we’ve known each other for twelve years? We started just doing Let’s Play videos together, then a podcast, and we eventually changed with the times and became VTubers.”

Lazar pulled up a chair and sat across from Starbeard, “It’s been a wild ride. We’ve been lucky.”

“It’s been a good run.” Starbeard nodded.

Lazar pointed, “Okay, right there. That’s what I’m talking about! You seem to be worried about something but you’re not saying anything. We’re partners, and more importantly, you’re my best friend. If something’s up, you need to tell me!”

Starbeard held up his hands in surrender, “Whoa, okay, okay. Listen, I’m not hiding anything. I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather lately, and it’s got me a bit worried. You know what a hypochondriac I am. But I have a doctor’s appointment next week to check some stuff out. Nothing else, I promise.”

Lazar looked concerned but finally nodded, “All right. You’re sure it’s nothing serious?”

Starbeard shrugged noncommittally, “Remember the time I had a dozen burritos and was convinced my appendix had burst? It turned out to be constipation. I’m sure I’m overreacting.”

Lazar stood and placed a hand on Starbeard’s shoulder, “Good. Don’t you be going anywhere, you big lug. I need you.”

Starbeard hugged the Lizardfolk, his avatar pressing Lazar against his plush orc belly.

“I promise,” Starbeard swore. “You’re my best friend too, you know?”

Lazar clapped Orion’s shoulder, “I know. Okay Cap’n, let’s get to that loot before those hyenas take all the good stuff.”

As Starbeard and Lazar walked towards the door, Orion was pulled back into the void.

[Memory upload at 84%]

Orion woke back up in the sarcophagus and pitched forward again. He tried to catch himself with his left leg again but the missing limb sent him careening towards the floor. The cushions helped to soften the blow, but hitting the floor with all his weight caused a toolbox to jump on a nearby tool bench. Unbalanced, the toolbox tipped over and landed directly on the back of Orion’s head, tools scattering everywhere.

Orion pounded the ground with his fist, screaming, “Am I playing on hard mode? What is happening?” Having used and lost the extra peg leg in his inventory, Orion retrieved one of the spares he left by the respawn point. They were the shitty bone ones still, but they’d allow him to walk downstairs without issue.

Making his way outside Orion stopped at the entrance, assessing the damage. The courtyard looked just like it had when Orion had first arrived. Rocks, logs, scrap and other miscellaneous garbage was all over the ground again. His shed was completely gone, along with his workbenches, bedroll and water recycler. The only thing left was his collection of chests that had miraculously survived the sandstorm. All the progress he had made was completely wiped out.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

Wandering around the cluttered ground again, Orion did spot one thing that survived the storm. The target dummy was still standing out in the field, arms spread and a happy grin doodled on its face. The damn thing looked brand new, the fabric practically gleamed like a shiny new suit.

Orion stomped right up to it, pressed his nose to the dummy’s smooth cloth head and poked it in the chest. “I hate you.”

It felt good to have someplace to focus the anger rising in his gut. Days of work had been wiped away in an afternoon. And Orion had no idea how often he could expect the storms. Maybe this was a once in a lifetime phenomenon. But noticing the damage to the hangars and main base, he suspected the sandstorms were fairly common.

Scrubbing his face with his hands, Orion tried to think of a solution. Drawing a blank, Orion sighed and started to head toward his chests. He’d need new materials to rebuild his shelter and gear. Fortunately, he’d hoarded every material he’d gathered out of habit. As Orion walked past the former location of his outhouse he noticed the hole he’d dug for it was still there.

Orion threw up his hands, “Great! Nature erases my entire camp but the hole full of literal shit is completely untouched. What a fucking metaphor for this entire situ…ation…”

Orion trailed off as an idea started to form. Wrinkling his nose, Orion squatted down and examined the hole. It looked as if a giant hand had brushed away the rest of the camp but it didn’t fill in the hole. Orion stood to examine his surroundings. The packed mud wasn’t gouged out anywhere, there were no new holes or missing chunks of earth. New piles of sand and dust around, yes, but the ground itself remained level.

Could he make some kind of underground bunker to protect himself from the storms? He had access to all the tools, he’d just have to build down instead of up. It was a wild idea, but worth a try. Orion stood and pulled his shovel out of his inventory.

Orion quipped, “Let’s get diggy with it.”

Several days passed and the field was cleared again. Orion leaned on Sunflare’s handle and admired his handiwork. He wiped his sweaty brow on a cloth he’d found and retched at the smell wafting off of him. Despite days of hard work in the hot desert sun he hadn’t leveled up once. He needed to start finding enemies to start grinding XP if he was going to unlock more abilities. Unfortunately he hadn’t encountered any animals excepts ratillacs and terraworms.

That wasn’t entirely true, though. Frowning, Orion glanced over at Bite Rock. This morning another one of his traps had been broken, and the ratillac has been dragged off again. Whatever was hunting around here, it hadn’t approached Orion yet, but that wasn’t very comforting. If the few footprints he’d found were any indication it was a hefty beast, yet he’d never heard it skulking around.

With a sigh, Orion slid Sunflare into his weapon wheel. He thought about sparring with Todd to try and level up his weapon skills, but the thought didn’t appeal to him. Orion glanced over at the target dummy. He had found a marker in the workshop upstairs and had doodled all over the smug scarecrow. Even after extensive practice the Dummy had reverted back to its original state, except for the curly mustache he’d drawn on it. A weird compulsion came over him and Orion wrote ‘Todd’ on the stuffed belly. It just felt right, and Todd must have agreed because no matter how hard he practiced the word didn’t rub off either.

Orion pondered that, “I wonder if that’s another glitch or some kind of game mechanic. What do you think, Todd?”

Todd just smiled back enigmatically.

Orion reflected on what just happened, “I’m talking to an inanimate object. I think I need to take a break.”

Todd did not offer any further insight, so Orion walked back to his base. The shack was gone but there was a hatch in the ground where it once stood. Unsealing it, Orion climbed down the ladder to his new hideaway. The new base was a bit sterile, the walls a kind of hospital white color which made the space a bit too bright. He hoped he could paint or, at least decorate the walls later, but his main concern had been safety. It was, so far, safe from the harsh environment above.

The space was a lot bigger than his old shelter as well. Orion found that with an orgite shovel and his mining skill he was able to clear out a lot of dirt and clay easily. The space was slightly bigger than his first studio apartment, which accommodated his larger Org frame. It was a simple rectangular layout, with an improved bed arranged against the back wall.

One wall had a sort of kitchenette carved into the side, with a basic cooking grill and a counter for preparing food. In the center stood a long table and chair for eating, as well as several half finished projects. His water recycler was kept next to the grill, which wasn’t very sanitary, but his options were limited. and he’d started making clay plates and mugs using the forge as a kiln.

The opposite wall had his work station. The crafting bench and mini forge were there, as well as a new one called an ‘Engineering Workbench’. This one had more precise tools, a soldering iron and even came with goggles that magnified small objects. Two shelves holding three chests each were built into the wall with all of his materials meticulously arranged inside. He’d even started making clay plates and mugs using the forge as a kiln. All in all it was a pretty cozy setup.

Tired, but not enough to sleep, Orion decided to check out the new engineering workbench. He’d crafted it when he was rebuilding his home since it slotted in with his current setup, and the symmetry was pleasing. He hadn’t actually checked out the engineering recipes it offered.

The new crafting table was set up like the others. Accessing it brought up a HUD window with multiple tabs and a selection of visible and blank icons representing unknown recipes. Orion tapped the search bar and typed in ‘Prosthetics’ like usual, planning to make some new legs and hoping there were less blocky options. His heart skipped a beat. One of the mystery icons had lit up.

[Repair Kit: Repairs broken electronics and restores durability to damaged Techanic gear.]

Hands shaking, Orion selected the icon and focused on the new minigame that appeared in his vision. The materials he needed lit up with a halo, visible even through the metal walls of the supply chests, which he could select just by tapping the chest overhead. The materials teleported to the workbench counter with a flash of blue and the minigame began. After a tense moment the [Success!] message floated over the repair kit.

Orion’s chair clattered to the floor as he suddenly stood, clutching the repair kit in his hand. It was just a copper colored square box the size of his palm. One edge looked like an old game cartridge slot, and the front had a glowing green light shaped like a gear with longer teeth shaped like a cross.

“Oooh Boise…” Orion whispered, “I really hope this works.”

He touched the cartridge slot to his right temple and felt the plate covering his brain implant slide open. Unable to see what he was doing, Orion fiddled with the kit until he felt the cartridge click into place. For a moment nothing happened. His implant started to whir like a PC with a broken fan and the sudden rush of pain brought Orion to his knees. A wave of nausea overcame him, but and the edges of his vision went dark. It felt like something was peeling back his skin where his implants connected. Darkness overtook him and Orion mercifully passed out.

Orion gasped and jerked up from where he lay slumped over the workbench. The fried husk of the repair kit sat on the desk nearby, smoking and crumbling to bits. Feeling sore everyowhere, he sat up and asked, “Did it work?”

His AI HUD flashed to life in front of his eyes. There was a rotating circle of ten stars and the word [REBOOTING] on the glitching screen. After a moment the holographic window stabilized and the Star-Lynx logo appeared on the window.

[Now Updating…

Update Failed. Start Anyway? Y/N?]

Orion nervously pressed ‘Yes’. The screen vanished and his heart sank. It must not have worked. Orion rose to his feet shakily, resigned to turn in for the night. He pulled back the sheets when a light flashed behind him and Apus’s hologram sprang to life on the bench counter.

“-ary!” Apus spread his wings for effect.

“Apus!” Orion spread his arms too. “It’s good to see you, little buddy! If I could hug you I would.”

The phoenix hologram looked around and lowered its wings. “I am unable to pinpoint our location. Where are we?”

“That’s a long story.” Orion suddenly felt a wash of relief overtake him. His legs unable to support him, the Org sat heavily on the bed. Orion closed his eyes and asked, “Now that you’re here, can I log out?”

“Log out?” Apus sounded confused, “I don’t understand, Sir.”

“Log out? You know? Quit. Amscray. Vamoose. Beat Cheeks.” Orion pleaded, “How do I leave the game?”

Apus looked sympathetic, “You can’t leave, Sir. You’ve been uploaded to Cosmic Horizons. It’s…the only thing keeping you alive.”

Orion’s heart sank. It was over. This was his life now. “Well, shit.”

“If it’s any consolation, you are not alone.” Apus added, “I will do my best to help you in this unforeseen predicament. If you could update me on the situation, I will start calculating solutions.”

Orion’s body felt heavy, his head swam. “I’ll explain everything. But now that you’re here, I think I need a nap. I’m exhausted.”

Apus waddled around the table, head bobbing like a pigeon as it assessed the room. “If you prefer, Sir, I can access your memory storage while you sleep. Your brain implant records everything and allows me to gather data to help me monitor your mental state.” Apus offered, “I merely need your permission to do so.”

“Like a vampire.” Orion said.

Apus watched Orion with avian stoicism. After a moment the bird asked, “This is humor? I assume you use jokes as a way to cope with trauma.”

Orion whistled, “Well shit, whoever wrote your psychology program did a good job. You figured that out faster than my last therapist.”

“It is my job to ensure you can survive the stress of having your mind implanted into a foreign environment. I will endeavor to be more amusing in our interactions together.” Apus said, “I apologize for not being here when you needed me, Sir. Though, if this shelter is any indication, I can tell you’ve done an exceedingly good job figuring things out in my absence. Well done.”

Orion’s face crumpled and he whispered hoarsely, “Thank you. It was really hard.”

“Praise works as well, it seems.” Apus commented. He pointed to the bed with his wing. “I insist you get some sleep while I review the logs. I see you haven’t set this room as a spawn point yet. Would you like to do that?”

“That’s a thing?” Orion was stunned, “Yes! How do I do that?”

Apus nodded, “Double tap the bed with your hand and the option should appear in your HUD.”

Excited, Orion jumped up from his chair and smacked the bed twice. Sure enough, a window popped up in his vision.

[Would you like to set spawn point? Y/N?]

Selecting ‘Yes’, Orion flumped back down on the bed with a groan. “No more rug burns on my nips from falling out of a closet for me! Moving up in the world! Or…down because I live in a basement. I dunno.” Orion sat up and beamed at his first companion since arriving in Cosmic Horizons, “I am so glad you’re back! I’ve only had myself to talk to since I got here. And Todd, but he’s a lousy conversationalist.”

“Todd…” Apus was staring at Orion’s peg leg critically. “It seems I have a lot of catching up to do. Get some rest, I shall see you when you wake up.”

Feeling happy for the first time in days, Orion lay back and fell into a comfortable, dreamless sleep.