Ryan opened his eyes. At least, he thought he did. When he opened his eyes, he was met with pitch black darkness. There was no sound. Even the familiar ring of tinnitus from years of listening to power metal a full blast was absent. Then he noticed the persistent pain he’d been experiencing was gone.
‘I didn’t make it’, Ryan thought to himself. ‘Well, they tried their best. It was worth a shot.’
“What was?”
Ryan looked around as an unfamiliar voice replied to his unspoken words. Tried to, anyway, there were no focal points to indicate if he was moving at all. “Hello?” Ryan asked, his voice sounding strange to his own ears, “Who’s there?”
“I don’t know yet. Who are you?”
The voice sounded friendly but confused, like a lightly concussed person who was just happy to be there.
“I guess that’s the question isn’t it?” Ryan mused, “Am I even the same person anymore? Have I transcended beyond the man I was? Am I just energy now or am I becoming one with the universe?”
“No, I mean-“ A blue panel of light appeared in front of Ryan. The word [NAME:_] with a blinking underscore appeared on it in lighter blue text, “Who are you?”
“Oh! Game mechanics.” Ryan mused, “Guess I made it after all. Cool!”
Ryan pondered the screen. He thought about putting his real name for a few moments. Or maybe longer, he didn’t know how time worked here. If this was a video game he wasn’t going to use his same old boring name. Focusing on the panel he thought about the letters he wanted and they slowly typed themselves into place.
[Name Selected: Orion Starbeard
ACCEPT? Yes/No]
He focused on ‘Yes’ and the panel chimed and closed. The shadows crept in again, becoming even more oppressive in the absence of the dim light. Nothingness stretched out into an eternity, and Orion felt as if he was being pulled infinitely thin, but somehow in every direction. It was if he was being diffused into the space around him, melding with the shadows and becoming one with all of existence. It was extremely disorienting, and Orion was relieved when everything snapped back, leaving him feeling some semblance of normality.
“Well that was fun. What now?” Ryan asked the void.
Nothingness exploded into blinding white light. A pulsating purple tear in reality opened in front of him and from beyond the fissure darkness came rushing in again, this time bringing with it colored speckles and a dull roar of sound. The sudden torrent of blackness flowed past him, slowing and churning into masses of colorful stars and shining galactic filaments. It was like watching the Big Bang at the start of the universe. Clusters of nebulae and swirling galaxies coalesced in the distance. As the celestial river flowed past him Orion’s body became a glowing constellation of stars, giving him a vague humanoid shape. Comets trailed beneath his translucent feet and an asteroid belt detached itself from a passing solar system to orbit lazily around his head. Free floating in the depths of space surrounded by a tapestry of vibrant colors, Orion Starbeard was birthed by the cosmos.
Orion felt like he should say something profound to mark the occasion.
“Rad.”
Yes, that felt sufficiently grandiose.
A nearby star cluster began to spin and formed itself into a smoldering red pulsar, waves of solar energy cascading from it. The same voice from before spoke from the pulsar.
“Welcome to Cosmic Horizons: Online! I am your new personal AI assistant. I am connected directly to your Heads-Up Display, or HUD, which all Playable Characters have.”
Upon saying that, the pulsar vanished and the blue screen replaced it, a text crawl of what it said displayed on the glowing surface. The words in brackets were highlighted in blue, and as he focused on [Heads-Up Display] it brought up a new screen labeled CODEX.
[
Orion nodded. This was all pretty basic stuff to a long time gamer like him. But he remembered that there might be a lot of non-gamers who get uploaded if the Beta was successful enough. The Codex seemed extremely helpful given how complex the game already seemed to be. Orion swiped the HUD away and the Pulsar returned.
The Pulsar continued, “My function is to act as your advisor, confidant, and to help monitor your physical and mental health while transitioning to your new digital life. Would you like to customize my avatar?”
“Oooh, customization? Now we’re talking!” Orion rubbed his starry hands together, “Yes please.”
Orion lost track of time as he looked through the design options. A ring of blue humanoid figures replaced the panel, curving back and slowly vanishing into the distance. He quickly spun the halo past the humans with barely a second glance. Humans, aliens, robots and even fantasy races blurred past Orion’s face. A selection of alien creatures, dinosaurs, amorphous blobs and finally animals started to appear.
Something flashed past his bored gaze and he halted the ring, slowly rotating it back until it landed on a bird. Tapping it, a second perpendicular ring appeared giving him even further options. Swiping up more carefully now he stopped when a bird of paradise formed in front of him. Tapping again gave him a color wheel below it. After meticulously changing the holographic bird’s plumage to fire red with yellow flame-like highlights Orion stepped back, covering his mouth with a surge of emotion.
Orion’s heart ached. This was most definitely intentional. The game had given him every tool he needed to completely redesign his phoenix companion from his final campaign in Seas of Spiritus. It was the last time all of his friends had gamed together before he had gotten too sick to continue.
Along the way he had gotten a legendary pet drop from Ashwing the Unquenchable, the [Phoenix Egg]. While only a digital companion, Orion had tried for a decade to obtain the item and had only managed the feat on his final run. He hadn’t had long to enjoy the antics of the firebird pet, but it had been a great comfort over the past few months.
He’d been able to customize his AI assistant to look exactly like the Ashwing pet, even down to the little blackened tips in his wing feathers. Like all of his in-game pets, Orion had renamed the baby phoenix to better suit his constellation theme. Even lesser known constellations whenever it suited the animal. Orion had named his first phoenix after a star formation known as the bird of paradise, and it felt more than fitting here.
“Hello Apus.” Orion whispered, “I’ve missed you.”
The bird’s eyes opened, glowingly with warm yellow light. “Register ‘Apus’ as my name? Yes/No?”
“Yes.”
The rings vanished and the phoenix spread its wings, flying a few lazy circles around Orion’s starlit form before settling on what passed as his shoulder.
“Hello, Sir! I am Apus,” the bird announced. “It will be my pleasure to work with you. Would you like to customize your in-game avatar?”
The familiarity of the pet phoenix was helping Orion feel better about this entire scary situation. It felt like a gift from Regina. Sea of Spiritus was a Star-Lynx game, after all.
“Sure, let’s take a look!” Orion agreed.
A bigger wheel with far fewer options popped up in front of him. Orion was impressed, when he played the Alpha version there were only humans as a playable option. Some were grayed out with the words Under Construction written across the silhouettes.
Apus instructed him, “You can tap a Prime Species to learn more. Once you’re finished customizing you can select ‘Accept’ to lock in your choice. Please note that choosing your species cannot be changed in the Beta version, but will be available at a later date.”
“Smart! Takes a lot of the pressure off.” Orion nodded with approval, “So I can have some fun with this. Try something new down the road if I get bored. Regina thought of everything!”
Orion’s constellation wire frame of a body floated closer to the circle of characters. Only the first one wasn’t grayed out, the rest were shrouded in shadow, darker than the surrounding lights of space. The one he could see was naked except for a pair of form fitting briefs. It was obviously human, but as Orion tapped the mannequin-like figure it shifted, arranging itself to look exactly like he did before the cancer.
Orion looked like a six foot tall white male with lightly tanned skin and sandy blond hair sprinkled with gray. He had a round face with hazel eyes, a straight nose, and a big well-kept beard. He was overweight, carrying most of it in his belly, but he was overjoyed to see his own body again.
“There he is!” Orion said as his patted his stomach, “Looking good, Ryan! I missed you, buddy.”
The default body looked exactly like Ryan had for the bulk of his adult life. He speculated that the sarcophagus they stuck him in was taking scans of his body to map out what he looked like. Or maybe it was scanning his mind, as this was how Orion always pictured himself in his head. He tapped the digital mirror and realized he could change its height, weight, musculature, even the skin color. The character customization already seemed more complex than the AI avatar creation. He finally glanced up above the human’s head to see the text floating above it’s head.
[TERRAN]
“Okay, bog standard human model. Got it.” Orion mused, “Gotta have that default setting for the normies.”
Orion stared at his former self. Safe, comfortable and familiar. For over 40 years he’s done the whole human thing. If he had alien races to choose from, would he really want to be ‘just a dude’ again? Though he could see the appeal for some people, older players or folks just comfortable in their own skin. Orion had never really felt comfortable in his own skin, so he kept scrolling.
Orion’s perspective changed as he found himself suddenly taller. The man in the mirror had pale gray skin, long lanky limbs, and a bulbous head with large black eyes. He looked like the stereotypical Roswell alien, tall and stretched out. He still had a beer belly, and his beard was replaced with what looked like a cybernetic breathing apparatus, but it was definitely still him. He glanced at the species name.
[GRAY]
“Okay, not quite my style, but we’re definitely in a scifi setting,” Orion said.
Orion scrolled again and his vision shifted back down to about half his original size. He was insectoid, with long black antennae and large eyes with gem-like irises. This one looked like a bee if it was drawn by a furry artist, the exoskeleton in a vaguely human shape complete with a bulbous tail with a pointy bit at the end. It even had short orange fur with brown stripes. Orion glanced at the name as he stroked the fuzzy little striped beard on his chin.
[THE HIVE]
“Adorable. But definitely not the right choice,” Orion swiped left again.
Orion yelped in surprise as his body plumped out and became alabaster white. His face was round and jolly, with a round red nose, red lipstick and painted stars over his eyes. His hair and beard were pink and blue like cotton candy. His hands and feet were larger than they were supposed to be. Even his shorts had turned yellow with orange polka dots. Orion learned in and experimentally poked his round nose. It squeaked.
“Space clowns? Weird.” Orion said.
Apus seemed unphased as he perched on on Orion’s shoulder, “The developers were getting rather experimental in the last few updates.” He explained.
This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
“So I see,” Orion said as he looked up.
[JO’QIN]
The sense of unease he felt upon first look started to fade. There was definitely some uncanny valley stuff going on here, but it was almost like looking at a cartoon version of himself. Clowns never really bothered him that much, but he scrolled over to the next alien anyway.
The image of Orion became a larger bear-like creature with a rocket attached to his back. His body was covered in sandy blond fur, with a crest of orange feathers in place of his hair and beard. His face had a hawk-like beak, and long pointed ears like that of a lynx. With feathered arms and thick paws he looked like a fantasy owlbear with a jetpack. Orion looked up curiously.
[KREELUX]
“What do you think of this one, Apus?” Orion asked his AI, “I could be a phoenix too. Birds of a feather, am I right?”
“I’m satisfied as long as you are happy with your decision, Sir.” Apus responded mildly.
Kreelux was a strong contender but he didn’t relish the idea of a flying species. Clowns might not freak him out, but heights were a different matter. Just thinking of flying around everywhere gave him vertigo. He swiped again.
He was mildly startled as the biggest creature yet sprung into being. Taller than even the Kreelux, Orion was covered in yellow skin dotted with a sprinkling of brown spots along his face, shoulders and back. His face had a mouth but no perceivable nose or, more disturbingly, any eyes to speak of. With thick tube-like brown tendrils for hair and beard, three fingers (but no toes) and a snub tail, this was by far the most alien race he’d seen yet.
Orion whistled, impressed, “Now we’re getting into some real xenomorph stuff.” He glanced up to the species name.
[ASTROPOD]
Curious to learn more, Orion selected the image of himself and attempted to pull up more details. The window in front of him expanded to show stats, and a deep masculine voice started to narrate information about the species.
[Astropods are telepathic
Racial Features:
Choose Race? Yes/No?]
This one gave Orion the heebie jeebies. He had to know what ‘Psychovore’ was, that sounded terrifying. He tapped the blue brackets and the codex entry popped up. The narrator continued.
[Psychovores are creatures and people who feed off the latent psionic energy of people’s minds. Astropods and other native species to Auroroa often have this trait. The native Astropods will raise
That was far less sinister than Orion was expecting. The look and background of the Astropods were giving him flashbacks to those weird psychic squid monsters he fought in an old TTRPG campaign years back. Very Lovecraftian, no thank you. He swiped again.
Next Orion saw his features on a vaguely goat-like alien. Bigger than the Hiver but shorter than the Terran version of him, and broader than both. This alien had tan rocky skin, metallic iron plating covering its forearms, shins and fingers, with curved iron horns sprouting from the tops of its head. The hair on his head and face was an almost glowing fiery color, his beard flickered like a campfire. It looked like something that climbed out of a volcano. If the Gray were like space elves, then these could be considered space dwarves. He glanced up at the name.
[ROKAOS]
Rokaos were pretty cool, too. Orion could still stick with the phoenix theme and become a fire guy. Still, it didn’t really speak to him so he swiped left again.
Orion was tall again, with chestnut bark-like skin that was smooth like a varnished wooden sculpture. His face was like an expertly carved marionette mask, and his head and face were covered in a bushy mass of green and yellow leaves. Two branch-like antlers rose up from the top of his head. His long limbs were jointed, a network of vines connecting the pieces together like an action figure. His hands were blocks of wood with vines growing from specialized holes, and his feet were carved wooden clogs.
A bark of laughter escaped Orion’s wooden lips, “I speak for the trees!” He investigated the label and saw these creatures were [ZYLVAAN].
Despite the sudden urge to carry some halflings around, Orion swiped left. Orion shrank again and turned into a scaly green lizard person. With a slightly longer snout, a rounded body and thick tail he looked like a crocodile that learned to walk on two legs. His head and chin were covered in soft, downy feathers that imitated hair better than the feathery Kreelux’s plumage.
Orion chuckled and teased Apus, “Feel like cleaning my teeth, pal?” Orion opened his mouth, showing off his gleaming maw. Apus preened himself with disinterest and Orion smirked as he glanced at the name. The text labeled this as [JRASSK].
“Classic. Ooh, can Jrassk shapeshift like in all those reptilian humanoid conspiracy theories?” Orion asked.
Apus nodded, “Actually, yes. Their only species ability lets them perfectly disguise themselves as anyone they’ve come in contact with. Just focus on it and a skill notification should appear.”
Orion closed his eyes to concentrate. A small pop-up window with the words [Use
Orion was impressed, “LeVar would LOVE this! That’s right up his alley. I hope Reggie isn’t just pandering to our group’s weird special interests.”
“Inspiration can come from anywhere,” Apus reflected.
Just one selection left, he could see Terran just beyond the next unrevealed alien race. And then it would be selection time. Orion sighed softly, there were definitely some great options but nothing called out to him. Worst case he could just stick with Terran, boring but familiar, and change down the road when the species re-select was offered. He swiped left. Orion gasped audibly, glancing up at the name window.
[ORG]
This was it. This was the one. It’s like this species was designed specifically for him. Maybe it was, Orion was friends with the CEO of the company after all. He immediately tapped the name for more information.
[Thought to originate from beyond the
Racial Features:
Choose Race? Yes/No?]
It was a space Orc, there was no other way to describe it. Tall, beefy, with pointed ears and large tusks protruding from a broad jaw. Rather than the green or brown skin you’d typically associate with fantasy Orcs, this one was a cerulean blue with purple highlights dotted with bioluminescent blue freckles along the shoulders and back. The hair and luxurious beard also had flecks of light twinkling in the deep violet follicles. A real beard of stars.
“Whoa…” Orion marveled. “This had to be intentional. Regina must have left this for last because she knew I’d never even glance at the other species.”
Apus didn’t confirm his suspicions and merely asked, “If you would like to customize your avatar, select the ‘Yes’ button.”
Orion pressed ‘Yes’ and a similar customization wheel happened. There were face and body sliders, one for each individual feature from eye color to feet size. He played with it for a bit, squashing and stretching his image until he accidentally moved a slider and his chest inflated into a comically large set of breasts. The jiggle physics were quite realistic!
“Whoops!”
Orion investigated the sliders a bit more carefully. There was no standard gender button like some games had, it just gave him options on different styles of chest and genitalia modifications. He was impressed with the level of thought put into Cosmic Horizon’s customization. Even these days there were very few progressive game developers that let you have this much freedom when it came to gender expression.
He wanted to test just how far the game would let him go. Orion found the nudity toggle and switched it on. His shorts vanished, leaving him swinging in the breeze. Or whatever the outer space equivalent of that was. Though he wasn’t hung like that as a human. The breasts were capped with average-sized nipples that were dappled with mottled purple areola.
Orion smiled and just for fun he played around with the settings even more. One thing he always liked to do when starting a new game was to build a female avatar in game to see how sexy he could make it. And this gave him a lot of options to play with. He found that there were several face and body presets to narrow down the general look before adjusting the fine details.
It was impossible to tell how long he spent on customization. There was no way to gauge time floating in the nebulous vacuum of space. At one point he got distracted and noticed Apus watching him with avian curiosity. He almost stopped the current build when he noticed, adding the clothes back on. Apus merely tilted its head and chirped. Orion chided himself and went nude again, focusing back on his work. Being embarrassed by Apus watching was ridiculous, like being shy while changing clothes in front of your cat. After an indeterminate length of time, Orion stepped back and admired his work.
The Org was a character study in strength. The face was soft and feminine, but with a strong jawline, slightly upturned nose, pointed ears and small tusks poking from full lips. Bright golden eyes with diamond shaped pupils peered back at Orion as he stared at his digital reflection. Navy blue hair with an undercut on the right side, revealing the egg-shaped brain implant that housed Apus’s operating system. Heavily muscled arms and thighs, broad shoulders, wide hips with thick thighs, toned calves and a round ass you could crack walnuts with. The hands only had two thick fingers and a thumb, and the Org’s feet were wide navy blue cloven hooves. Along the broad back Orion could see bronze-colored cybernite plates, reinforced with a metal spine that terminated in a curly pig tail. The waist curved in a slight hourglass figure, with washboard abs and topped with heavy E-cup breasts. The muscled stomach tapered down to a well groomed patch of navy blue hair just above a surprisingly delicate pussy. The cerulean/purple skin he kept mostly the same, and the shoulders, back, hips and bridge of the Org’s nose had a dusting of glowing LED freckles. Overall it looked as if part of the night sky had decided to quit its job and become a pro wrestler.
Orion spread his arms. It was a masterpiece! His magnum opus! Over two decades of character creation across a hundred games and this was his finest work.
He paused to admire it a moment more. Then with a heavy sigh he scrolled up to the chest slider and shrank the breasts back down to masculine pecs. It was fun while it lasted. Now to get serious about his character.
“Why did you sigh?”
Orion was startled and looked at Apus, “Shit! I totally forgot you could talk. Sorry, what was that?”
Apus tilted its neck curiously, “You spent so much time perfecting this character, but then you sighed and started undoing all your hard work. Why?”
Orion was taken a bit off guard, “Oh. Well I just always design a female character before choosing a male one when I start a new video game.”
Apus’s long neck swiveled the other direction, “Why?”
Orion thought about this, “I dunno. It’s just fun to see what I’d look like as a woman, I guess.”
Apus leaned its beak closer, “No, I mean why did you switch back?”
“Ah! Well, my viewers kind of expect a certain look.” Orion defaulted to a practiced answer to this question, “I mean, sure I do have a few femme presenting models but I always go back to the original look.”
Apus looked around, “What viewers?”
Orion hesitated at that. He looked around to the endless expanse of space around him. It was just himself, Apus and stars out here. There was no one watching him stream, no other players. It was just him, his digital brain pet, and the new body he was building for himself, “I guess there aren’t any, are there?”
Apus met Orion’s eyes, “Even if there was, this is your new body. A new start. Why should anyone but you decide what you look like?”
Orion folded his arms, “I guess you’re right. But I’m not sure. What if I don’t like it? I’ve always been male. I mean, I’ve kinda been identifying as non-binary the past few years but I’ve always looked masculine. I never feel like, non-binary enough, you know? Like I’m gaslighting myself into being something I’m not.”
Apus seemed to consider this. After a while, he responded, “If you don’t like it, character creation is not permanent. You can always switch back when the species change feature is installed. CH:O is designed to be a place to explore new horizons. Whether that means exploring new planets across the galaxy, or experimenting with your own concepts of identity and self expression. You may not be sure, but when you were looking at the female build you were smiling. You are not smiling now.”
Orion uncrossed his arms and gave that some thought. If there were no consequences, no one judging him, no responsibilities…then why not try it? He’d spent over 40 years as a male, or at least that’s how the world usually saw him. It never felt right inside, like he was always ‘other’ on either side of the board. He knew what to expect with the standard ‘dude’ model, and it mostly hadn’t been fun.
Slowly his finger touched the boob slider again and he increased the size again, but stopped at a D cup. After a moment he looked at the crotch again. As he contemplated it for a moment, an involuntary shudder ran up his back and he scrolled down and switched it back to ‘Penis’. He adjusted the Org’s junk to be a bit bigger than he was used to, but nothing that might scare off any potential suitors. Not that he knew how sex would work in this game, if it was a feature at all.
Orion glanced over at his phoenix and saw the bird turning its head from side to side at the new adjustment. Apus turned to look at him with a curious chirp, and Orion shrugged. “I’ve had boobs as a guy, but I don’t think I’m ready to try out all new equipment down there.” He thought about it, “Maybe later, when I can easily change back. For now I’ll stick with what I know.”
Orion admired his new potential body. He nodded. It felt right. “Question is, does this make me a guy? A girl?” Orion mused.
Apus asked, “What feels right, Sir? Ma’am?”
Orion pondered that a while and shrugged, “Either works I guess, but masculine pronouns feel more natural.”
“As you wish, Sir.”
A panel popped up in front of the finished avatar. It simply asked [Would you like to complete character creation? Yes/No?]
Orion selected ‘Yes’.
The purple vortex in the center of reality grew bigger and brighter as he accepted his new form. The stars around him seemed to get pulled toward it, like a black hole pulling the surrounding space into a singularity. Orion felt the suction as his constellation frame of a body was pulled toward the violet portal. He passed through the holographic Org and Orion felt as if his body suddenly had weight and form. As he hurtled towards the now deepening indigo pit in space, Orion felt as if his body was growing longer. He grew disoriented as his new body began to experience spaghettification, picking up speed as he got closer to the yawning gate. Soon, the only thing that existed was the mysterious hole in the cosmos. Before Orion could even scream, he was pulled inside and sent careening down a tunnel towards the unknown.