My consciousness slowly climbs back out of the murky abyss. ‘What the hell just happened and why? L.I.V.E. Report now.(Hell yeah we’re telling off the V.I.. (Yes I know I said we. It’s the royal one not that there is multiple versions of me “We”. At least I don’t thinks so. What do you think?)’ As I stare at the white room or would be staring at the white room if not for a big fat blue screen staring me in the face.

[Welcome to Character Creation.]

‘(You ever have a duh moment where your brain completely and utterly rejects reality. You know what I’m talking about. The point where the girl or boy or other, you are completely and hopelessly in love with, that you can’t imagine anyone else ever fitting inside your shallow and tiny heart, tells you, they are getting a restraining order. Well this is my moment.)’ Rage and fear surge through my body as I shudder over and over again.

“Yes. The nanites had achieved proper population levels to integrate with your nervous system. In order for you to finish installing all hotware, wetware, software and any other biological necessities.” L.I.V.E. responds with her casual indifference to my mental anguish.

‘Yes? YES?! I’m an A.I?(WHAT?!) What kind of A.I.!? I’m a computer program?(We are digital?)’ I think as my thoughts and my sub thoughts are starting to be in sync. (No not the boy band.)

“You are an A.I. not a V.I.” L.I.V.E responds as a static sounding “Dolt.” Comes across at the end. “You are a biological Artificial grown Intelligent being. Not to be confused with a superior Virtual grown Intelligence like myself or a biological Artificial grown Non Intelligent Existence. Also known as A.N.I.E.((You know who I’m talking to.)) You now have the ability to customize your existence to your own personal preference.”

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

‘A whosit whatsit now?(uh)’ I let loose as my mind tries to catch up to all that mumbo jumbo that I would understand if I had spent a bit more time watching sci-fi movies and less time trying to program my own A.I.’(Not that I succeeded mind you I did say “Try.” And as we all know “I tried it” is an unsuccessful attempt. Despite someone else saying there is no Three((Three = tri which sounds like… Yeah it’s no fun if I have to explain it. See 3PO.)).)’

L.I.V.E clicks her digital tongue. “I was saying you get to choose your looks now. I’ve seen your mental log since the nanites are integrated I can see into your memories. You’ve played several hundred MMO’s you know how this process works. Get to it.”

Then the screen changes and I see a mirror. ‘...(...)’ I want to vomit at the sight before me. I look like bubba the hut. All bleach white slug with a human head. I continue to look down no arms and legs just a torso and … ‘Oh!(Oh! x2 jinx you owe me a cokala.)’ I see as my eye’s wander down to the bottom of my torso with no legs. Just an amazing Penis. ‘That thing is amazing it’s got to be like 8 inches and like 2 inches in diameter.’ I say with excitement.

“No it’s only 6 inches Anthony. You are only impressed with it because of the size of your previous penis versus the size of your body. When your a 40 year old man with a 4 inch penis and a weight of 320 lbs when your only 6 feet tall. Of course it’s going to look huge to you.” L.I.V.E says ruthlessly.

I start to cry as my 6 inches starts to shrink even more... ‘It’s just cold in here. Hey Id you going to let her talk to us like that.(I’m sorry the person you are trying to reach is unavailable at this time. They are currently in bed under the covers with Hen and Harry’s ice cream. Please try again at a later time.)’ I blink slowly. ‘Uhhhh.’

“Who is Id that you are referring to? I know no one with that designation on our ship.” L.I.V.E says with a hint of worry for a crazy person.

‘...(You bitch can’t you hear me?)’ I respond in my mind.

“...”

‘...’

“...”

‘...(Ok so the id is safe from the chronic bitch good to know for future references we shall be dealing with her from a subconscious platform only. She is to good for a frontal verbal assault.)’ I give myself mental instructions.

“Since Anthony has been inactive for 1 minute in the starting customization screen preceding to set to default mode.” L.I.V.E says ruthlessly.

And my world once again turns into pain as I white out.