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Space: Not the Rear!
Chapter 1 - WTF?

Chapter 1 - WTF?

The first thing I noticed in this new world is the heavy buzzing sound and whirring noises of machines. I hadn’t even opened my eye’s yet and the annoying sounds of machines were penetrating my body. I attempted to sigh only to now have my tactile sensations arrive. The sigh turned into an attempted scream as I gagged and choked on a tube rammed down my throat. My eyes opening wide only to fail to see anything in the darkness, though I soon closed them again, as a burning sensation from the goo. If the cool ickiness on my skin was any indication of my present situation then I was obviously submerged in the stuff. My arms and legs aren’t responding to my commands. I for reasons even I can’t fathom wasn’t panicking the way I always thought I would being shut off from my sight essentially blind and possibly paraplegic. I don’t know how long I was in that state it could’ve been seconds or hours. I know I should be concerned about what was going on to a modern man from earth, I just couldn’t bring myself to worry about it. What happened next set the tone for my story.

A noise of garbled sounds began to be heard. “Idnduadstivgy hom’okefrjlkda Earthl.idfning Merd E8961@69$48734.”

My mind froze for a second then the inevitable ‘What the FUCK?’ echoed in my head from my own abusive thoughts.

“Repat Identyisdfy Homosapoien Earthling. Male, AD Cycle 1979. Primitive life form. Do you understand?” As the voice changed from gobbly gook till a fairly attractive female voice near the end.

I nod my head. ‘Yes I do at the end there.’ I respond in my mind having a tube down your throat makes the whole speaking thing impossible.

The voice then responded. “Then for a 3rd time I will repeat. “Identity Homosapien, Earthling, Male, AD Cycle 1979. Primitive Life form. Do you understand?”

I nod again though the discomfort from my throat is increasing. ‘Yes I understood all that perfectly…. Well as perfectly as the words are though the reference to those words are not comprehended.’ I respond with my thoughts.

A couple click noises and then the female responds again. “The reference is to your point of origin in the simulation. You have been living a simulated life of an ancient earth civilization. Pre Magic Astratta existence.” While the voice of the female is soothing it is neither maternaly comforting nor condescending in it’s statements. It speaks not monotonous but more of a lack of inflection common to an actual person speaking.

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‘I see so my memories are from a being that is considered primitive to you? And what is Magic Astratta?’ I ask as calmly as I can with my surface thoughts, though my sub thoughts are screaming ‘(What the Hell, What the Fuck, What the Goddamn stupid piece of shit happened to me. Where the hell am I?)’.

Another couple click noises kind of like on those older phone systems when they’re transferring your call to someone else sounds like that. Even though the female voice doesn’t change when it responds with. “That is correct. Your raising state is about fifty thousand years prior to the current galactic time. As for the Magic Astratta that was an event that happened when you woke up just now in our historical timeline. Essentially if you had not been in a simulation you would have died just now.”

My mind freezes again….. ‘My raising state? Am I in some kind of incubator? And what happened to others during the Magic Astratta?’ I thought as serenely as I could while my sub thoughts were like ‘(I seriously could use a drink right now and a smoke. Hell I wasn’t a fan of recreational drugs but I’d be willing to try some of those right about now as well.)’.

The female voice responded neutrally. “Yes, raising state refers to your time period of metal growth chosen by your sponsor. With that time frame chosen you have gained extra points you can allocate for your own choice of development. The M.A. Event killed roughly 99.976 percent of the human population dropping it down to roughly 2 million people left on earth. Other species of the planet had similar results as well, from plant life to ocean life the entire earth was affected. Each species had it own apocalypse as it were. The humans was referred to as a zombie apocalypse. If you don’t remember what happened it’s probably best not to dwell on it, it could affect your personality. As for what the even Magic Astratta itself was. It was an abundance of increase in a natural occuring energy that finally caught up with earth after the big bang. Earth had used up most of it Mana by the time your conscience was inserted into the simulation. Then, like a spatial storm, the wave of Mana hit the Sol system and changes began.” She said without any actual concern.

I tried to open and close my mouth like a fish but the whole tube thing kind of ruins the effect. ‘Well…. I’m not even sure what to ask first at this point. How about… Who are you and what is a sponsor? (for 500 maybe get my daily double. Yes it is a reference to jeopardy. Don’t like it? These are my sub thoughts don’t read them. They’re usually not productive thoughts anyways.)’ I respond with much overt hesitation and sub thought contemplation.

A few clicks later and the voice responds. “My name is L. I. V. E. which stands for Liberated Intelligence Virtual Entity. Equivalent to your times concept of an A. I.. As for your sponsor Bear Heart Gaming LLC. has invested in your development. As such you have the right to choose your Identity. Please tell me what is your name.”

I stare again. ‘(You can’t blame me for being dumbfounded. I means seriously there is probably some arrogant jerks out there that can hold their own better than me in this situation. But they aren’t here right now I am and I got to say this is all kinds of fucked. Can someone give me a cookie? I could really use a cookie.. I like my comfort food…. Ha…)’ I take a deep breath and start to choke on the tube one again, until I calm down after a few moments. ‘My name is Anthony Farkenstein.’

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