I took the first step out of the doorway, every muscle in my body screaming for me not to do so. My legs started to freeze, as if they were turning to stone, each step heavier than the last as I continued my journey out the door. The air tasted acidic, burning my throat with every breath I took, filling my mouth with the taste of what I could only describe as fire. My eyes remained shut as I took a few more steps, not letting my brain know how far I’d actually moved. The less I was aware of what was around me, the better. The sun was burning my extremely pale skin. I wasn’t meant to be under it for very long. It was so hot I was already sweating, or maybe that was from my extreme anxiety.
I knew my mother was ahead of me, calling out my name to reassure me that everything was alright, that everything would be fine, but I couldn’t hear her. My ears were filled with a low, baritone thrum that kept getting louder, as if I was listening to my own increasing fear. I knew I was being dramatic. That all of these things weren’t real. That it was all a lie my imagination was conjuring up to keep me from whatever dangers that may be outside, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t experiencing them. I refused to let it stop me though. I had been inside for too long now, and a life stuck inside wasn’t one I wanted to live.
As all of it came crashing down on me at once, I retreated into my thoughts, ignoring everything I felt. I asked myself what my reasons were for wanting to go outside. I had to learn more about magic. My basic understanding of it had barely scratched the constant itch I felt for more information on the subject. It was such a foreign concept to me, something I found to be rare in this world. Of course, I was also moving to a far off place, one that required me to be outside and on the move for over two weeks. I also was doing this for my family's peace of mind. My mother and father worried about my condition everyday, but they were too kind and loving to ever force me outside.
The outside. Something that seemed so trivial yet caused me so much pain. I wanted to experience it. To let go of the past and finally accept what it had to offer me. I let my focus falter, the mental equivalent of opening a door slightly, and let myself feel the outside again after reaffirming my motivations. The thrum in my ears was gone, replaced by chirping birds and rustling leaves from the wind. The air was no longer acidic, replaced with the smell of fresh morning dew. My feet still felt heavy, but I took another step anyway, feeling the hard surface of the stone path that led from my front door towards the gravel street in front of our house. The front yard seemed so unfamiliar, even though I had stared out the window at it every single day for the last four years.
I started to open my eyes, to let in the light and finally, for the first time, see the world without glass in front of it, distorting my view. It was then that a sharp pain struck me in the chest. It was the same tightening I had felt the first time I had walked outside. Memories flashed in my mind, but they weren’t of this world. The few I had gained from my previous life were hitting me like a right hook to the jaw. The helplessness I felt while lying atop my bed, tears falling down my face, terrified of what layed beyond my bedroom door as voices yelled at me from the outside. The mortifying loneliness I felt as my face was beaten to pulp by someone I didn’t recognize, the blood and tears dripping off of me onto the cold, wet ground that I was forced onto. Just these two memories to reinforce this fear I felt in my soul.
I gasped for air as my chest continued to tighten, but nothing would come in and fill my lungs. I was dying. I was wrong. Going outside was a mistake. I couldn’t even remember why I had even tried to do so anymore. My brain was a fogging mess, the only thing standing out was a need for air and those two memories playing over and over again. Just when I felt like I was going to collapse, a small, soft feeling brushed against my finger. It slowly wrapped around, taking a firm grip on my pinkie finger. It squeezed me gently, pulling me out of the hole I’d fallen into. It was my Mother. She moved to grab my whole hand soon after, giving me a reassuring squeeze before tugging on it twice, signaling me to move forward. My eyes remained shut as I took another step, not daring to open them.
As I moved, I could feel my senses returning to me. The memories remained, but they played less frequently, interrupted by others that I had experienced in this life. I remembered my Father’s hearty laugh he would make after telling my mother a stupid joke. How Mother sang a gentle tune when she would make stew. How, despite finding it annoying and tedious, my mother would sit with me for hours with no complaints, just so I could learn more about magic.
The memories filled me with warmth. How could I forget such beautiful things? How could they be overshadowed by what little I remembered from my previous life? I could breathe again, the tightening in my chest slowly subsiding. This was it. I was walking outside. I chanced a peak with my one eye, getting hit by a blast of sunshine that almost blinded me. I was confronted by the image of my front yard. The stone path I was walking on was uneven, with many of the stones cracked from age. A short, stone wall surrounded the front of the house in a semicircle, providing a clear marking where our yard ended. There was a single tree to the right of me, the one piece of nature still present in the yard other than grass.
Ahead of me was my mother, grasping onto my hand and pulling me further towards the wagon that sat just in front of the house on a gravel road. I was only a few meters away from it now. My first journey outside was almost complete. I turned around to take my first look at the outside of my house. It was a small log cabin, barely coming close to the size of houses from my previous life. Two windows framed the door evenly, and I recognized the one I had stared out of for so long. It was strange how different the world looked from the other side of that thin piece of glass. I turned back to my mother, saying my final goodbyes to that window, and the house.
Mother led me out of the yard and to the wagon. She and I stepped up into the back and sat down next to all of our things. It was weird to see all of our possessions so neatly packed into a small space. The wagon was similar to ones I remembered from old history books, completely made out of wood, wheels and all, with a white cloth covering the top of it to protect from rain. I could see my father through a gap in the cloth, sitting at the front with reins in his hands. Suddenly, the wagon jerked, and we were moving forward. I realized I had no idea what was even pulling us. I hadn’t gotten a view of the front of the wagon yet.
I stood and walked over to the front, trying to peek my head out of the cloth.
“Sean, is everything okay?” I heard my mother ask, her voice filled with worry.
“Yes. I just want to see.”
I pulled the cloth over a bit so I could get a better view of what was pulling us.The animal was one I recognized. A horse, with almost perfectly white fur covering its whole body. Its mane, however, was incredibly strange. Rather than long, flowing hair, its mane was like smoke that would come from a campfire. I was captivated by it.
“What is it?” I asked Father
“Ah, finally interested in the outside now that you're out here? That’s a lisyfe, Sean. Strong and fast, almost everyone uses them to pull hual all over the kingdom. They use air magic to increase their speed. Some say they're the fastest beasts on land You’ll see once we get really moving.”
An animal that uses magic. So it isn’t something that just humans could do. I should have realized something like that sooner, given that the energy is all around us. It only made sense that other beings would use it too.
“Is this our lisyfe then?”
“Oh good god no! These suckers are really expensive. We’re just borrowing one from the merchants we’re joining on the trip. We don’t have that kind of money Sean. Wish we did. Then I wouldn’t have to work!” My father said with a hearty laugh.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.
I didn’t think that was really a joke, but I chuckled alongside him anyway. We started moving down the road towards Corvin, and I got my first look at the town. It was very small, especially compared to my old world's large cities. I guessed that no more than a thousand people could be living here. It was small wooden and stone houses scattered all over a wide plain, with very few trees outside of a small forest across a river on the other side of town from my house. The only notable building was a large, two story stone hall that seemed to be near the center of town. I was still too far away to make out any more details, but from what I could tell, it seemed nice. Small, but cozy. A place where people could live together within a community. Where everyone knew each other’s names.
I cursed myself for not managing to make it outside sooner. Here was an entire town filled with people and things to explore, and I had never even said hello, not once greeting this new place I had found myself in. Now, I’m leaving. I had failed to even walk into Corvin. It made me sad to think how much time I had wasted when life out here could have been so much more interesting. Father made a sharp right turn, and large mountains came into view. I knew that’s where we headed, since I had overheard that Dousin was north and high up in the mountains. I looked back one more time at Corvin, realizing this would probably be the last time I ever saw my hometown. No, I would come back. I decided this wouldn’t be the last time I’d see it. I owed it to myself to come back and explore the town, at some point in the future.
We continued straight for a short while before meeting up with the rest of our traveling companions, a small merchant group my father somehow convinced to keep us safe on our journey. I felt a little sick at the idea of meeting new people, but everyone seemed to keep to themselves, leaving our small family alone. It seems I’m still not fully past my fear, but today was obviously a huge step in the right direction.
“Aaron, right?” I heard a gruff sounding man say outside the wagon as we slowly came to a stop, “Here, I’ve got a small map for you so you have an idea where we're headed. I doubt it will help much, but it’s always good to have.”
“Thanks. Me and my family appreciate you letting us join you.”
“No problem. I’d hate to leave a family like yours traveling without protection. Plus, it’s always good to have another wagon. Okay boys, load it up!”
My mother waved for me to move closer to her as the man who I assumed was just talking outside came to the back of the wagon with a large box. He set it down and pushed it farther in. More and more men came with boxes, filling our wagon until it became so crowded I barely had a place to sit down. I realized now how my father had convinced them to let us join the merchant caravan.
“Looks like that will do it boys!” The man, who’s name I’d found out was Rhys, yelled.
Shortly after, we were on the move once again.
“Cori, could you take this map? I don’t think I’m going to need it. I’ll just follow the one in front of us.”
Mother grabbed the map out of my father’s hands and sent it down beside her. Curious, I reached over and picked it up, trying to get a better understanding of what the world around me was like. The map wasn’t full, only showing the northwestern part of Ilias, the name of the continent. Corvin was in the northwestern part of The Bloodied Plains, which was split in half by a long river east of us that led from a northern ocean to the bottom of the map, running further down than displayed. On the other side of the river, The Bloodied Plains continued, but quickly hit the edge of the map, and was labeled “The Empire of Aishya.” The plains ended about halfway through the map, running all the way south until the map's end, and north until reaching the ocean. The plains were quickly replaced by the Endevis mountains to the west, which extended all the way to the ocean in the west and the north, and south until the map’s end. The Endevis mountains went all the way north until they came to a point, where the northern and western oceans met. There, next to a named mountain called “Beva,” was Dousin, our destination. It was an interesting map, but it left out many details, specifically the southern portion of the kingdom I was in which the map called “Vistaria.” I was suddenly wishing I had gone to a school in Corvin once again.
As time went on, our speed began to increase, and I snuck one more look at the lisyfe pulling us. Its legs were pumping furiously, and I swore that half of the time it didn’t even touch the ground as it ran. It seemed strange to be moving so fast in such a rickety wagon, but neither Father or Mother seemed concerned. I took one last look at Corvin as we sped along, the small town slowly fading away in the distance as we drew closer to the mountains. I promise that I will come back one day. I swear it. Now that I was able to go outside, I didn’t want to leave one inch of this world unexplored.
It took three weeks to reach Dousin, where we were high up into the mountains. Bits of snow were still present around us, just barely finishing melting, even though we were already midway through June. I preferred the cold over the heat, but something told me the winters here were going to be a bit harsher than I could handle. Dousin itself was amazing. It was nothing like Corvin. Instead, it was a large, stone city deep within the Endevis mountains, with a large castle carved into the mountainside for the city's Lord. According to my father, Dousin was the largest city in the northern part of Vistaria. Stone walls taller than the largest building in Corvin surrounded the outer city, as well as the inner city, and finally there was a third wall around the front of the castle. Stone houses and shops littered the streets, which were also stone, with blacksmiths, farmer’s stalls, and tailors everywhere. This was a place built to be explored. A place just for me.
After we had entered the outer part of the city, Rhys and his men followed us to Baird’s home, the old friend of my Father.
“Baird, you old fool, it’s good to see you!” Father said, embracing a short, bald man with a long black beard.
“You too my friend. I never thought I’d see you again, till you sent me that letter. A shame, your reasons for coming here, but alas, it’s always good to welcome you and Cori,” Baird said, soon after laying his eyes on me, “And who’s this little lad then?”
“I’m Sean,” I responded quietly, trying to hide myself behind my mother.
It was still hard to interact with other people, but after all I’ve achieved, I wasn’t going to stop my momentum now.
“Oh, are you now? Good to meet you little one,” Baird said, crouching down and reaching his hand out.
I shook it lightly, quickly drawing my hand back afterwards.
“A shy one, isn’t he?” Baird turned to my father who nodded in response.
“Okay, that’s enough reunions now,” Rhys called from the wagon, “I’ve got to get a move on towards the inner city now, so get your stuff off my wagon.”
“No please?” Father asked.
“You’ll get your please and thank you after I get my wagon back.”
“And to think he was so nice when I met him in Corvin,” Father said, turning to Baird for a reaction.
Everyone except me started loading our things off the wagon and into Bairds house, which was much larger than the one we had in Corvin. It had two stories, the first had a kitchen and the room where Baird and his wife slept. The upstairs had been left for us. Two bedrooms and a small common room for the three of us to share. Again, compared to my previous life, it wasn’t much, but I’m sure Baird’s house was one that many people would love to have in Dousin. After all of our things had been placed upstairs, Father grabbed Baird by the arm.
“Baird. I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for me and my family,” Father said, starting to bow, “I can’t imagine it was an easy decision for you and Ailisa. Thank you my friend. Thank you.”
“Okay! Okay! Enough with this shit already! I can’t take you bowing to someone like me. We have plenty of space here anyways. Not like I’ve got any kids to shove in those rooms. Besides, given what's happening in the plains, it would be awful of me to leave you there.”
Once again, my father embraced Baird, who quickly pushed him off, “If you keep doing that, I really will kick your ass onto the street.”
Father laughed at Baird’s comment, who quickly laughed as well. It was good to see him so happy. Everything about being in Dousin felt good.
“Come now. Ailisa will be home from the shop soon. Then we can have a feast for your arrival.”
“Ah, she’s taking over the shop of the best blacksmith in Dousin then?”
“Just for today my friend. I’ll be back making the best swords you’ve ever seen soon. I’ve actually got a special order from Lord Malcolm now that all the new city guards are arriving.”
“So I’ll be using one of your swords to protect this city?”
“Of course. All of you used to laugh at me when I said I was the best damn blacksmith, but I was only ever telling the truth.”
“Ah yes, you're the most honest man in the world, aren’t you Baird?”
“Of course I am, now leave me be while I cook. Unless you want this knife in your arm.”
I chuckled at Baird’s words. I think I'm going to like it here.