Sean Brynor

Winter flew around my room in obvious frustration. She pecked at the window, stomped on the floor, and scratched at the door with her claws. Ever since her wing had fully healed, she wanted out, but refused to leave without me. I had tried letting her leave before, opening the window to the frozen air for her to fly away, but she just stood on the window sill, waiting for me to follow. I had no reason to do so. She seemed even more restless today, chirping loudly as she nipped at my blanket, trying to get me up and out of bed.

I turned over, gently nudging her away, and stared at my hand. It still felt like it was caked in blood. I trembled at the feeling, trying to wipe off whatever was clinging to my skin on the bed sheets, but it didn’t come off. Nothing I did changed it, and the blood still felt cold as it clung to me. I felt my eyes call for tears, but none came. I had spent all of my tears over the last few days on my father.

“Was he my father?” The thought came as I kept trying to wipe off my hand. Biologically, he was, but I had another father in an entirely different world. One that I had watched die, just like Aaron. Who were they? Who was I, really? Those thoughts and memories had plagued my mind for so long, released from the prison I had formed for them in my mind, yet the answers were so unclear.

A roar boomed throughout my room, deafening me and sending Winter to the floor, as if the noise had pushed her off balance from her flying. I covered my ears, but my eyes were wide open in shock. I knew that roar well. Too well. “Mathear,” I said, and my leg throbbed in pain. The roar was close, but that couldn’t be right. Baird’s house was close to the inner wall of Dousin, far from the woods where the giant beasts would be hunting. For the roar to be that loud and that close, it had to be in the city. It was impossible, but it couldn’t be anything else.

Winter trembled on the floor where she’d fallen, and at first I worried that she’d been hurt, but then she flew straight at me. I twisted to avoid her sharp claws and caught her in my arms, trying to comfort the terrified owl, but I trembled along with her. A mathear in the city would meet a quick end, even if it somehow managed to kill all the guards at the front gate, but that didn’t help any of my terror. This beast had taken so much from me, but all I had to do was stay inside, and it would be dealt with.

A pounding noise from outside my room came louder than some of the screams I heard outside. It wasn’t a knock on my door, but rather a knock on a door downstairs. It continued, the pounding only growing louder, a yell coming with it soon after. I stood, grabbing my cane so that I could hobble over to my door, trying to listen to whoever was yelling outside the front door.

Ailisa opened, her voice filled with worry. “Are you okay? What happened!?” she asked.

“Insane beasts… everywhere,” the man outside the door said, “Not enough guards in the outer city to drive them off. Please… help me.” I heard the front door close and the two of them shuffle around downstairs. Their conversation was hard to hear, only a word cutting through the mumbling every sentence maybe, but the man finally spoke louder after Ailisa asked him more about the beasts. “They spotted the girl near the lake at the top of the mountain yesterday. They said she attacked them, but they just assumed she was trying to push them away. Given what’s happening, she’s definitely a Bind Fiend. With all of those beasts going crazy, there's no other explanation.”

The girl. He was talking about her. The one who’d saved me when a mathear was about to kill me. The one out in the woods all alone, running away from some terrible orphanage. The one that shared my birthday, and was probably reincarnated into this world, just like me. The girl Aaron had searched for for years, hoping to bring her home, to give her a family.

“The guards are sending out a group to go find her soon,” the man downstairs said. “They say once she’s dead, the beasts will go back to normal. They’ll still be wild beasts, but they’ll be a lot less aggressive. They just can’t get out of the inner city right now with all the people rushing into the gates.”

My head swiveled and I pressed my ear closer to the door. They were going to kill her. She didn’t deserve it. She just wanted to get away from people that had hurt her. She just wanted to be left alone, and now she was going to be killed, either by the guards, or by what she’d done to her own Soul. She would die all alone, in the woods.

“Everyone should have a family,” a dull voice said behind my door. It wasn’t the man’s voice or Ailisa’s, but I recognized it. It was so familiar, yet felt so wrong. That voice wasn’t supposed to be there. It was supposed to be dead. “Sean, come out of the room.”

I shook my head in response. The voice had gotten it wrong. I wasn’t Sean. I couldn’t be Sean. Sean didn’t have these memories of a past life controlling him. He wasn’t stopped in his tracks because he was afraid of some kid from his past. Sean was curious about the world, enjoyed all the new things he had discovered, and more importantly, Sean had a father. A living, breathing father.

“You Sean, you have so much left,” the voice continued, “That girl out in the woods that everyone has given up on, she has nothing left.”

“She had you,” I said quietly. “You didn’t give up on her.”

“You Sean, you have so much left.”

“I’m not Sean. I can’t be.”

“So much that I can’t even begin to explain all that there is.”

“Stop!” I yelled.

“Please,” The voice said, but this time it was joined by another, higher and softer voice. “She’ll die.”

My eyes opened wide. That other voice shouldn’t be here. It didn’t belong here. It wasn’t a part of this world. It was meant to be left behind. These memories that I had regained didn’t belong in this world either. They stopped Sean from existing, and I had to be Sean. Otherwise, she’ll die.

“I kind of made it a personal mission of mine,” The original voice started, not joined by the other anymore, “To see that she found a family and was safe.”

Sean could keep her safe. He’d fought a mathear and lived, saving another beast at the same time. He’d trained for years to become a better mage. He’d even discovered a giant beast, more powerful than anything anyone had ever seen. If he was here, if he was alive, he’d save her.

“I was never able to catch her.”

Sean could catch her. He’d do it for his father. He’d show him that no matter the cost, he’d help others. He’d do everything to live up to what his father expected of him, but because of me, Sean was gone. I couldn’t let that be. I had to be Sean, or she’ll die. I had to fight.

“There’s a lot of things waiting for you. A lot of people, a lot of decisions, a lot of choices you can make to create a better and more just world, and you don’t want to miss any of them. I don't want you to miss any of them. So please, Sean, come out of the room.”

Sean had to come out of this room. I had to make it so. The man I was is dead. His life ended at some point, allowing me to be born. His opinion doesn’t matter anymore. His thoughts don’t matter anymore. Who he cared about doesn’t matter anymore. His memories don’t matter anymore. What’s important is that I am alive and he is not. My opinion matters. My thoughts matter. Who I care about matters, and only the memories I’ve made here, in this world, matter. My mother, her sweet yet strict demeanor, matters. Baird, a hearty yet grouchy drunk, matters. Ailisa, the honey-like aunt that takes care of me even at my worst, matters. Hector and Lennox, two annoying pests that I care for as my best friends, matter. Restivus, my annoying magic tutor, matters. My father, Aaron, who had experienced so many hardships, yet laughed whenever he could, matters, even after his death.

My father was dead. I knew that. I’d cried about that fact ever since I found him lying in a pool of his own blood. My hand felt wet again and I tried to wipe it off on the floor, but the feeling never went away. Tears welled up in my eyes, something I didn’t think was possible anymore, and I cried. It was the first time the tears actually felt real. I’d been hiding behind my past life’s memories, shielding myself from the pain, but now it was all here, all at once. Even so, I couldn’t let the pain stop me. Sean was here. I was here, and I wouldn’t let my father down.

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I stood, using my cane to help myself up, and hobbled over to the chest at the foot of my bed. Leaning against it was my backpack, which was filled with winter clothes, and my bow and quiver. Inside the chest was the leather armor Baird had made me, as well as two full waterskins that I normally wore on my hips. With great effort, I put the winter clothes on, making sure I had an extra pair, the armor, and the waterskins. I slowly walked back over to the door, the added weight making my leg throb with even more pain than normal, but I ignored it. Soon, I found myself in front of the door.

The doorknob felt hot, despite the temperature being just above freezing. My hand trembled, but I turned the knob anyway. Memories of the other world flashed through my mind. The car crash, the alleyway, the fear, they all came crashing down on me. I pushed them away. This isn’t that world. It’s a new one.

I felt chills run up my spine as I pushed the door open, and a different memory came to mind. This time, it was in this world. Blair is Levi. He’d followed me, all the way from another world. I stopped moving. I couldn’t take another step, that memory holding me in place.

“Sean, come out of the room,” the voice said again.

I listened, ignoring the memory. I was a different person in my past life, and the same goes for Blair. That last thought left a stale taste in my mouth, but I didn’t have time to linger on it. She was dying.

I hurried down the steps to find Ailisa bandaging the man she’d let into the house. The man screamed as she put pressure on his arm, and she tried to comfort him. “I know, I know, but we have to stop the bleeding.”

“Ailisa,” I called out as I made it to the bottom floor. Her face was filled with shock when she turned to me. “Is mother or Baird back?”

“Uh… no. No! They're not! Oh God!” she yelled as if she just realized it.

I started walking to the front door. “I’m going to go look for them. They can’t be far.”

“Sean, no! You can’t go out there! It’s dangerous and…” her eyes looked down towards my leg.

“It’s fine Ailisa. I won’t go far,” I lied.

With a great deal of effort, I pulled water from one of the skins at my hip with my Soul and surrounded my injured leg with it. I shaped it to the construction I’d been working on ever since Baird gave me the idea, then froze it. It solidified around my leg, easing the pain and letting me put much more weight on it. I lifted my cane off the ground, testing my spell, then tied onto my back with one of the loose straps. Winter chirped as she flew over and landed on my armored arm.

I turned back to Ailisa. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine,” I said, and ran out the door.

Our house wasn’t on a main road, but it did lead straight towards one of the gates into the inner city, so it was completely packed. People ran by in haste. They were screaming, some clinging to personal belongings and others desperately holding the hands of their loved ones. Some were pushed down by the crowd behind them, either trampled or forced to scramble out of the way. Other’s pushed into peoples houses or small alleyways, trying to hide from whatever beast might come after them. I pushed my way into the giant crowd while Winter flew above. I was already as tall as some of the adults, so I could see over a few heads as I ran in the opposite direction of the sea of people. There was nothing but more heads behind them.

A man stepped hard on my foot, the one that was encased in ice, and I fell to the ground in pain. No one cared nor bothered to help me up. They just kept pushing forward. I tried to stand, but was hit in the side of the face by someone’s knee. It sent me tumbling towards a wall, and I crumpled back to the ground. A sense of fear went through, but it was different from my own. I looked upwards to find Winter peering down at me from the top of the wall, where she sat. “Fine,” I said, standing and pushing back into the crowd.

By the time I reached the end of the ocean of people I was covered in bruises and scrapes. The spell around my leg had begun to crack a little, since some of my focus had been taken off of it while taking kicks to the face, so I reinforced it. The broken pieces of ice slowly filled together, and the pain around my leg slowly decreased. The spell still wasn’t perfect. It had caused me to stumble and fall on the ground multiple times, but just being able to run again was an exhilarating feeling, even if I wasn’t as fast as before. There were still a few families running into the crowd behind me, trying to get away, but the road was mostly clear now. I started running for the outer gate, hoping I was far ahead of the guards.

As I got closer to the gate, I realized more of what I was doing. Several buildings along the road were in ruins. Some were burning, the wooden roofs collapsing as they slowly withered away. Others had their stone walls cave in, unnatural ice formations clinging to the cracked rocks. It was like a ghost town, the only noises being the flickering of flames or a roar of a beast in the distance. At least, I hoped they were at a distance. The roar I’d heard earlier still terrified me, and I had no desire to fight a mathear again. That wasn’t why I was out here.

“Help! Please someone! Anyone! Help!” a woman’s voice came from my right.

I could see the outer gate ahead of me, maybe a hundred meters away, just at the other side of a large open plaza where outsiders would sell goods. Some of the wooden stalls were destroyed, and the stone road had scorch marks all over it, as well as several cracks, but it was completely devoid of life. Nothing would stop me from getting out of the city and making my way to the girl.

“Please! They’re on us! Help us!” the voice screamed again.

I started running towards the gate, and I felt my hand grow wet. I stopped in my tracks, almost tripping over a loose stone in the pavement, and stared down at my palm. It was covered in a deep red color. “Blood,” I said, and started furiously wiping it off on my shirt. It didn’t come off, but I kept trying. I had to get rid of it. I had to.

“Please!” The woman’s scream came again, and I could hear the sobs in her voice.

I grit my teeth and clung onto my jacket with my bloodied hand. “Shit!” I yelled, and soon I was running towards the woman’s voice. It was what he would have done.

I weaved through broken and flaming debris as I searched for the yelling woman. It got hotter as I moved closer, and I could hear a low growl. When I turned a corner, I saw a woman laying on the ground next to a wall, her leg pinned under a large stone. She had her eyes shut and was holding her hands up defensively. In front of her stood a short boy holding out a sword much too large for him. He held out towards two wolves with fiery manes.

Their manes flickered as they slowly creeped in further, one of the sairla’s biting at the other when they tried to get to close. They clearly didn’t want to share the meal. One of them looked exactly like Ronan, a large and bulky figure, while the other was much more slender and a bit shorter, however the smaller one’s mane was much longer. As I stared at the larger one, hoping that it wasn’t actually Ronan, it lunged at the boy with the sword. I reached out my hand, connecting myself to the pouch of water at my side, but stopped. That could be Ronan, and I didn’t want to kill him.

The large beast came down on the boy, who was barely half its size, fast, but the child didn’t try to dodge or run. His grip on the sword hilt tightened, and he swung it quickly, slashing upwards across the chest and jaw of the larger sairla. It fell on top of him, completely limp. I was stunned. Was it blind luck, or was this kid some kind of prodigy? A young boy who was a sword master. The story sounded all too familiar, and a frown grew on my face.

Another growl and a subsequent bark reminded me of the other Sairla. It lunged for the boy, who was helplessly trapped under the giant dead beast, and I connected myself to the water at my side. This one definitely wasn’t Ronan, so I quickly created a sharp scythe out of water and sent it speeding for the sairla’s head. Just before its mouth bit into the boy’s arm, its neck was sliced and it tumbled to the ground. I had meant to cut off its head, but its fur was tougher than I thought.

I ran over to the two of them. The woman cried out her thanks when I arrived, tears streaming down her face, but I went to help the boy first. I knew her condition, but I didn't know his. With a great deal of effort, and a lot of throbbing pain in my injured leg, I managed to lift the sairla off him. Underneath was a boy with short black hair and a giant smile on his face. It was Hector.

“What the hell are you doing here!” I yelled as he sat up.

He reached over to where the sword lay and picked it up. “Helping, and looking awesome while I do it! I mean, did you see that! I was amazing, right!?”

“Are you an idiot! You could have been killed!” Worse, I had almost let him get killed.

He turned to me, his eyes going wide. “Sean! Wait, what? You're outside! And you saw me! Pretty cool right?”

“No! Are you even listening to me!?”

His head drooped. “I just saved this old lady, and you still aren’t impressed?”

“What are you talking about Hector!? C’mon, we need to get you out of here!”

I stood and ran over to the woman, but then Hector started yelling, “Do you have any idea how hard I’ve worked!? I just killed a Sairla! Me! All by myself, and you still treat me like a kid! I’m just as good as you and Blair! I’m just as strong! Stop trying–” A giant roar cut him off, one that seemed to rattle my bones and cause my ears to bleed.

“Mathear,” we both said, and I opened myself up to the Nex.

I could feel the beast, its power radiating out like an icy storm. It turned the same corner I had come from, its massive teeth and claws glistening in the setting sun. It roared again, its power swelling as it did so, but it wasn’t the only power I felt. Behind us, on the other side of the outer wall, two similar powers roared. The earth began to shake as a giant crash rang out across the street. Giant stone boulder flew out from behind us, one lamming straight into the mathear, staggering.

I turned, trying to get my eyes on something I already knew. Behind us, the outer wall had been destroyed. Stones that once made up the structure were littered everywhere, and dust mixed with powdery snow in the air. It made it hard to see far, but these beasts weren’t difficult to spot. Two more mathears tumbled into the city behind us, fighting one another. My whole body shook as I turned my head multiple times, trying to make sense of the situation. Three mathears were in the city, and they all surrounded us.