His ears roared, and Seung felt as if he were plummeting into an abyss from which he would never escape. Yet it felt like it was someone else, someone who didn't belong to this surreal scene. Or maybe it was the haunting figure from his nightmares, the one who looked disturbingly like him.
There were times when nothing made sense. All facts could be presented to you, yet nothing registered. The brain didn't process; the heart refused to acknowledge.
Kim Minjae's attempt to pry a knife out of the ground to free her skirt and herself didn't make sense. The woman meeting with a stranger suspected of being a spy in that dark, unoccupied house, turning out to be Kim Minjae, didn't make sense. Her letting that stranger touch her didn't make sense. Men chasing her through the forbidding alleys of Hanyang in the wee hours of a moonless night didn't make sense. The scarred murderer struggling in his almost slack grip didn't make sense. Kim Minjae defending him didn't make sense.
Yet, the vase mysteriously appearing in his office back at his house in Ganghwa made more sense than he cared to admit.
Fury surged through his temples, threatening to burst a vein. His breath came in harsh puffs. But then, a sudden calm enveloped him, numbing his senses like the cold had numbed his skin. There was no emotion; instead, a chilling survival instinct took control. Only a keening, unheard sound remained, which welled up from deep within pits of desolation borne out of betrayal.
"Don't try to use that knife, Kim Minjae," Seung said, feeling disembodied. He focused on breathing, a task that had suddenly become painfully arduous.
Minjae's hands stilled.
Snaking his sinewy arms around the man's throat again, Seung whipped out another knife from his boots. "Do not try anything funny if you value his life. Or yours."
She raised her eyes, and whatever she saw in his gaze terrified them. It should have brought him pleasure, but her fear twisted his gut.
He clamped his jaw so tight that his temples throbbed.
"Please don't hurt him, Dari; he was only trying to help me escape those men."
"You knew him all along, didn't you? You knew who it was when I told you. Was it all a plan from the beginning? The day I caught you in the woods? Everything you showed me was just a ruse to cover your activities," Seung gave a self-flagellating laugh. "I can't believe I fell for the oldest trick in the world."
She flinched as if he had slapped her.
"Take me then. Please let him go," Minjae's face shuttered.
"You have no idea what I plan to do to you, Kim Minjae," Seung's voice was laced with acid, his gut roiling in a putrid mess of retribution. "Before I finish with you, you would wish those men had taken you."
Minjae turned white as a sheet. "You don't mean that, Dari."
"Don't I? Try me," he sneered.
The man in his grasp struggled. "Please, Commander Lee, please, I beg you, take her to safety. She is -" he coughed as Seung's arm tightened.
Seung was getting tired of this little drama.
"Shut up! I want you to answer only what I ask. Why. Did. You. Kill. My. Father," Seung punctuated each word. He dug the knife, and a trickle of blood appeared.
"Don't hurt him! Please," Minjae cried, her eyes desperate with worry.
She knew. She had always known about this man and kept it from him.
"I will do anything you want, please....Dari," she begged.
Anything you want..
Unholy thoughts assailed his mind, and he was stunned at his own depraved thoughts.
"On whose orders?" Seung's voice clawed itself out from a column so icy that even he had difficulty associating himself with it.
"My Father. He worked for him," Minjae's voice quivered.
Seung would have laughed if he had not been so incensed.
"Your Father is a physician who has devoted his life to helping others. Don't dare take his name through your dirty mouth," the temperature of Seung's voice dropped even further.
Surprisingly, Seung felt the man relax in his hold. "My Lady is telling the truth. There are letters -"
"My name is not Kim Minjae," she interrupted the man, drowning his voice. "I am a runaway slave."
The wind left Seung's lungs.
The man in his arms became stiff. "My Lady—"
"It's all right, Kang Do. I know what I am doing," Minjae addressed the man he held captive.
After all these years, Seung finally learned the name: Kang Do.
"Kim Seo Jun is not my father. He rescued me from a temple. I was a slave," Minjae's words were rushed. "My Father used to be a Minister of Court, and your Father caught him for corruption, so he ordered the murder. My father was caught and executed, and I-I was sent as a government slave, but this old man rescued me. Th-those men chased me because they recognised me and wanted to recapture me," she stuttered, fidgeting her fingers, her eyes downcast.
So Kim Minjae was a slave and a rescue herself? What she said made sense, but it didn't ring true.
Even if what she said was genuine, why would she be in Hanyang, meeting a man under such dangerous circumstances at the risk of her life?
I love my husband. The bitter words tore at him. Was Choi Se-min her husband? There were no reports of the man ever travelling outside of Hanyang. Minjae lived a busy life in Ganghwa. Even if Seung considered her stay in Hanyang for training five years ago, Se-min would have been too young for a clandestine marriage, especially to a slave, as Minjae claimed.
Moreover, he could not ignore that Minjae had full access to every corner of his house if she wanted. Sneaking in that vase would be almost effortless for her.
Also, Minjae never fidgeted. Or stuttered.
"I thought you had a husband," Seung said coldly. "Why would your father's execution make you a slave?"
Kim Minjae looked like a dear caught in the light of blazing flares.
"You want me to believe that cock and bull story so that I let go of this murderer. Am I right, Kim Minjae?"
"I am telling you the truth. My birth father killed your Father," she said, her eyes unflinching.
"Who is your father, and what is your name?" Seung asked.
She gave him a blank look and flicked a glance at the scarred man. Seung's eyes narrowed as she faltered.
"Her name is Soo Hyun, My Lord," the man said in a coarse voice.
"Really?" He was tempted to squeeze the life out of the neck, deadlocked in his arm.
"My name does not matter anymore, Dari," Minjae interrupted. "You know rescues never speak about their past. Please let him go. The man who ordered him to kill your Father died long ago."
"I do not believe a word you say," Seung said, his eyes coldly flicking over Minjae's still form. She didn't make any effort to free herself anymore. Her eyes glazed over with hurt and sadness.
Seung's heart stumbled, and he tamped down the sudden restlessness at her look. "Even if you are a runaway slave, you have colluded with a murderer. I am arresting both of you on charges of conspiracy -"
Seung didn't have a chance to finish his sentence. One of the men who had been chasing Minjae burst upon them. He saw Minjae pinned to the ground and raced towards her, a dagger glinting in his hand, his intentions clear.
"Stop right there!" Seung ordered. "I am an officer of His Majesty's court."
The man looked at Seung wrestling with the man in his grasp and paused, then threw the knife at Seung.
Seung let go of Kang Do and bent back as the knife sailed from between him and Kang Do.
The man whipped out another knife and ran at Minjae. Seung caught Minjae's movement as she fell back, yanking at her skirt. She could have saved herself, but rendered immobile by a piece of fabric, she didn't stand a chance.
Just like that, Seung's grip on his new reality fell away. Terror plummeted his heart at the sight of the man lunging for Minjae, the glow of his blade cutting a ghostly arc.
Seung didn't think. He simply reacted. He intercepted the muscular man right before he could reach Minjae. He tackled the goon from behind, and they went flying to the ground and then rolled off before springing up, circling each other like predators. From his periphery, Seung saw Kang Do crawl to Minjae and wrestle with the knife, which had dug deep into the soft ground of the river bank with the force of his fury.
Everything after that happened in a blur.
A guttural cry wrenched from his throat as Seung threw his shoulder into the assailant's chest. It was like hitting a slab of muscle. The assailant barely stumbled an inch before swinging at Seung. Their daggers clashed with a metallic screech, the force of their blows sending sparks flying. Seung's quick, precise strikes were met with equal skill by the goon, who deflected each attack with calculated ease.
Seung saw a whirl of skirts and realised Minjae was free. Relief poured through him. "Get away from here," Seung barked as he held off the attacking man.
"Leave, My Lady!" Kang Do urged.
Seung managed to tackle the assailant to the ground and hold him down.
"Kang Do, you traitor!" The man growled.
Right at that moment, the other assailant came sailing in. Seung watched in horror as the taller goon threw a knife - aimed at Minjae. With a cry, Kang Do stepped in the middle, the blade lodging in his upper arm, who stumbled with a cry.
With a hoarse cry, Minjae rushed to Kang Do.
Kang Do pushed Minjae away and met the younger goon head-on, the knife still sticking out of his arm.
Seung's momentary distraction cost him. The goon under him twisted, throwing Seung off with brute strength.
Both sprang to their feet.
Seung had to get Minjae away from these men. He spun and twisted to evade the muscular goon's lethal strikes.
A misstep by Seung gave the man an opening. With a swift, vicious strike, the goon's dagger grazed Seung's arm, drawing a thin line of blood. Seung winced but quickly recovered, the pain sharpening his focus. He retaliated with a flurry of rapid thrusts, driving the goon back.
The goon, desperate and with a wild look in his eyes, launched into a frenzied assault, his dagger slicing through the air in a blur. Seung parried and dodged with remarkable speed. The goon overextended with a wild swing; Seung sidestepped and, with a lightning-quick motion, drove his dagger into the goon's shoulder.
The goon dropped his dagger, clutching his wounded shoulder with a cry of pain.
The taller man meanwhile deadlocked with Kang Do and delivered a blow that brought the tall man to his knees.
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
Seung sprang and grabbed Minjae's hand, pulling her after him. She resisted, pulling her hand out of his grasp.
"I will not leave Kang Do behind," she said as she went to the older man, doubled in pain.
The idiot woman just refused to care about herself.
With a curse, Seung turned his attention to the lanky man. They locked blades, their faces mere inches apart, teeth bared, muscles strained as they pushed against each other, the daggers trembling with the effort. Though much leaner than his stockier companion, the man was surprisingly strong.
Seung broke the deadlock with a sudden burst of strength, twisting his body to deliver a swift kick to the man's side. The goon staggered, momentarily off balance. Seung twisted and delivered a kick to his chest, taking the man off his feet and throwing him four feet away. The man landed with a thud, his head hitting a rock. He lay motionless.
However, Seung didn't realise the other goon had recovered from his blow and was primed to attack Seung. He turned to find the man with his hand positioned to piston the knife at his heart.
He heard a hoarse cry and saw a swirl of skirt that slammed him with full force. The impact threw him sideways, and he fell to the rocky surface. The knife swished past Minjae, grazing her arm and taking a chuck of fabric.
She stumbled forward with the force of her motion to the edge of the cliff. Her momentum was too great to break her fall, and she lost her balance and disappeared.
A deafening splash shattered the eerie silence, echoing through the still air and sending shockwaves down Seung's spine.
"My Lady! May Lady! She can't swim, she can't swim!" It was Kang Do's voice.
For a moment, Seung's mind blanked out. Then he leapt.
∞
Earlier That Evening
The meeting with Se-min had stirred up a storm of emotions within Minjae. Her brother had always been larger than her, but now he towered over her. Yet his classically cut, beautiful face had crumbled with emotions the moment his gaze fell on his sister. His broad shoulders sagged under the weight of his sins that had caused his sister to suffer, and it was evident he had never forgiven himself.
Fragile and broken from years of mental anguish, he had cried like a child. Minjae had soothed his back until he calmed down. She brought the food for him, and the siblings shared a meal in a dark, unoccupied house whose stone walls had provided more warmth than their parent's entire existence had done.
Se-min produced a small roll of paper and handed it to Minjae. It was a raw sketch of their grandmother.
Minjae blinked away the burning behind her eyes obstinately.
Se-min loved to draw, and his dream once had been to become a painter. When Choi Si-wan learned about his son's inclination, he bought him boxes upon boxes of drawing paper and colours and then had the child watch them burn to cinders. Se-min never asked for drawing paper again.
"Does Commander Lee treat you well, Noonim?" That had been his first question.
Her heart turned over. Minjae hated deceiving him, but it was important for his safety, and everyone else's that Se-min didn't try to ever meet the imposter and allow Choi Si-wan to have any reason to hurt him, of which Minjae had no doubts. Choi Si-wan would eliminate his son if he so much as doubted his son could be a threat.
"Commander Lee has had his reasons to dislike me, but he is the kindest, most beautiful man I have ever met," Minjae said truthfully. "He takes care of everything I need. We do not have a relationship that married people often hope for, but he treats me well."
"You have no idea how thankful I am to hear it. After- after you were hurt and suddenly vanished, I had thought of the worst for a very long time. Even Omoni refused to tell me clearly what happened," Se-min's voice trembled, and Minjae's heart hurt for the terror her brother must have lived through. If only he knew how well-founded his fears were. Yet he could never find out. "Where have you been all these years? I am forbidden to meet you; the rest of the family is not."
"Father had kept me in isolation as a punishment, Se-min, until I agreed to return to Commander Lee," Minjae lied. "I am still forbidden to step foot in the house, though I guess Omoni and our sisters can visit me if they want."
She wondered if Se-min could hear the bitterness in her voice.
"Have you told Commander Lee why you wanted to break the marriage? I do not know why Father let such horrible rumours about you reach his ears."
Minjae had closed her eyes against the fume of hatred that arose from within. Why did Choi Si-wan have to debase her to her little brother? "You heard them too?"
"I didn't believe it for one moment, noonim. Brother-in-law Lee must know that none of that is true. Please tell him the truth if you have not. I do not know why Father didn't."
Minjae looked at her hands. "Perhaps Father wanted to protect you. The knowledge that you gambled would have destroyed your future," she ventured, which had received an unfilial snort in reply.
"At the cost of yours? It does not make sense," Se-min shook his head.
Minjae took a shuddering breath. "It does not matter anymore."
Se-min had brought her mother's books. She lovingly caressed the old, yellowed covers as Se-min filled her in on the rest of the family. One sister loved embroidering like her, and the youngest had already started walking. Do-min hero-worshipped his father like before, and the brothers seldom spoke. He also refused to do anything with Choi Jina.
Se-min was still studying to pass the Civil service exams but had little success, and Choi Si-wan was getting increasingly upset about this.
An unnatural sound had cut short their conversation. Putting a finger on her lips, Minjae investigated but saw nothing unusual. But she took it as an indication to curtail the visit. It was time to return to Ganghwa.
"When can we meet again, Noonim?" Se-min asked when she walked out with him. He thought she was staying the night and that her slaves would fetch her in the morning.
"We cannot meet again, Se-min," Minjae said firmly, although her heart broke into pieces.
"What if I visit you in Ganghwa? Father will not know," he had pleaded.
"That would be particularly unfortunate, Se-min. You should never even think of visiting me. Do you want Father to punish Commander Lee or me because of your foolishness?" Her voice had hardened.
Se-min grasped her hand, bringing it to his forehead, his shoulders shaking in grief. "I am sorry, Noonim. It's just that I have missed you so much."
Minjae's iron control over her emotions eroded.
"I have missed you too, Choi Se-min. I can't say when, but I will meet you again. But until then, you must be patient. And please remember, Commander Lee should never know I met you. Nobody can. Ever," she emphasised.
As she crawled out of the small, hidden opening behind a bush by the fence and then pushed the stones and rocks back to plug the tiny hole, she wondered if Se-min would ever be able to bear the weight of their father's duplicity and extent of cruelty.
Minjae was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice the two men following her until they were right behind her. At first, she thought they were regular muggers, but then she saw her recognition reflected in her father's most hated henchman, the leader of the 'butchers'. His eyes went round, and something akin to fear glazed them as if he had seen a ghost. The younger pulled her jangot, and the 'butcher' realised she was a living, breathing woman. "Ken't be! I cover you grave myself !" His voice came out hoarse.
She saw the flash of his blade and the intent in his beady eyes just in time. Terror gripped her heart, but she kept her calm. He ordered the younger man to "finish her," but she was ready with her needle, incapacitating him. However, she stood little chance against the brute force of her father's most feared enforcer, but she would be damned if she gave in without a fight. The butcher swung, she blocked it with her knapsack, swinging the bag with all her might, catching him in the face, its metal hook tearing the soft flesh on his cheekbone. She sprang and kicked him in the midriff, and fled.
Kang Do appeared as if by magic and took out the hated man, giving them a chance to escape and leading her toward the river. The danger wasn't over, but if she could get to the boat...
Instead, their escape led straight to Lee Seung, and her world turned upside down.
Minjae ached at his hurt, bewilderment, and what he saw as betrayal. She understood his fury, bitterness, and coldness. While he had uttered words that raked her soul, she just sat, wanting to wrap her arms around him and erase the emptiness in his eyes, not knowing how to. Yet the moment he had sensed danger, all he had thought of was saving her. When she saw the man aiming a dagger at Seung, her world narrowed to that moment of truth—without him, her existence would be meaningless.
As the frigid waters of the Han River closed over her, the shock of the cold winding every breath in her body, pulling her down and inviting her to surrender to its depths where pain could no longer touch her, Seung's face emerged in her subconscious. It disintegrated before she could grasp onto it, her lungs burning as she went under.
Minjae kicked.
She kicked and thrashed with everything she had.
∞
It seemed an eternity before his body hit the freezing river. His soldier training kicked in as he took a deep breath to brace against the cold and let the water close over his head.
Seung resurfaced, regulating his breathing and saw her flailing at some distance. Time was of the essence. Despite the initial sharp pain and intense cold, his body acclimatised itself as he focused on getting to Minjae. Using efficient strokes, Seung swiftly moved through the water, thanking every spirit in the world that there was no ice formation yet.
He reached her just as she started sinking. Seung grabbed and pulled her up, her slight body floating against his as he fought the river current to the river bank. Despite the shore not being too far and her not having been in the water too long, he could feel her getting heavier. He had to get her out of the cold, which had already numbed her into unconsciousness and would soon reduce her blood flow to a crawl. It would be a matter of time before her organs shut down.
Terror clawed at his insides, raking him raw with fear.
He had fought colder waters in dire circumstances. His body was hard-wired and trained for rescuing much heavier loads than Minjae's, but he had never felt so panicked.
His heart started pumping harder, the adrenaline jacking his body to go faster. His muscles cramped and burned at the same time. "Minjae, please stay with me, sweetheart," he pleaded, his voice raw with emotion. Something warm dripped on his cheek, cutting through the icy numbness of the water. He had never been so glad to lay his hand on solid earth as he was while lifting Minjae and placing her on the ground. She lay motionless, spreading a rush of black panic through his veins. He positioned his hands on her chest and gave it a few quick pumps. He pinched her nose closed and covered her mouth with his, making a tight seal, and breathed into her mouth. He repeated until her chest rose, and she coughed, spilling out water, and then curled to her side.
And opened her eyes. They were unfocussed. She placed a cold, trembling hand on his cheek and said, "You came...you came. Father can't hurt me anymore...I love you, Dari, always....." before she closed her eyes, a shudder wracking her.
Seung didn't know what she meant. He didn't care anymore.
With a hoarse cry, he placed his arms under her back and hoisted her up effortlessly over his shoulder. She was semi-conscious and hung like a limp sack, but her shallow breath remained steady.
Seung half ran and half jogged until he came to a small but serviceable inn. He banged at the door furiously until a short, middle-aged man opened the door sleepily.
"We don't have room -"
Seung cut him off by shoving past him.
"I am a Royal Army Commander, and she is my wife. We were in a water accident," his clear, authoritative voice rang out. "Get me to your warmest space, and fetch me some hot water. I will pay you double and pay for everything extra."
The innkeeper didn't argue as he led the way. The room he opened for them was small and had a narrow but cosy bed.
"Fetch me all the quilts you can spare," he ordered.
The innkeeper disappeared.
Seung didn't waste time. Minjae's face was ashen and was starting to take a tinge of blue.
Seung first stripped his hanbok, leaving his pants on for the moment. He had already lost his hat, so that was one less thing to worry about. He then began the difficult task of prying the clothes off Minjae's body. The wet knots were jammed, making it impossible for him to untie them. His hands shook, but he managed to peel the soggy and torn jeogori. It was weighed down by a few items - a few books dripping wet and a scroll. Seung tossed them aside. He quickly checked for the knife wound and sent a quick prayer upwards at her blemish-free upper arm. The skirt and the underskirt followed soon after, making the sodden heap of clothes bigger. She was now down to her bloomer underpants and chest cloth, both soggy and sticking to her. Minjae was faintly conscious but too exhausted and probably too numb to be cognizant. She shuddered and then shuddered again.
Seung turned her on her stomach.
Shock roiled his stomach. Her back was a crisscross maze of scars, something that was a common sight on soldiers and prisoners but never on a woman as delicate as Minjae.
I have scars.
Her hesitant words came to him as a whiplash. He felt nauseous with rage and tenderness.
He gently pried open the knot and turned her, laying her on her back. Thankfully, the floor was warm. Once the fabric came loose, he unwound it until the end ribbon of her bind lay on her chest, barely covering anything but still leaving her with a modicum of modesty. He laid her on the bed and covered her with the quilt.
He pulled the soggy fabric out, gently eased off her underpants from beneath the quilt, and added them to the pile.
A knock on the door alerted him to the innkeeper, who had brought hot water. The man gave Seung fresh towels, extra quilts, a tray of hot gruel, and a clean set of pyjamas, apologetic that he didn't find anything large enough to fit Seung. He also had a woman's dress set in his hands.
"This belonged to my wife. She was about My Lady's size," he said.
A young boy, about eight years old, peaked from behind his father, who was holding a pot and two bowls on a tray.
"You should drink this so you can help her," the child advised sagely.
Seung took it gratefully. He handed them the wet clothes, and the man carried them away to dry.
Seung instructed the innkeeper not to disturb them unless he called for them. He paid the man three times the room rent, making his eyes glisten with gratitude.
He wrapped the hot towel around Minjae's feet, letting the warmth seep into the coldest part of her body. He wrapped the dry towels around her head.
Stripping off his wet pants, he vigorously dried himself and dragged the short but serviceable pyjamas, which fit his hips but came only up to his calves. He piled the extra quilts on top of the one covering Minjae.
Seung tried to feed Minjae a few spoons of the hot gruel. She protested feebly. "You must Minjae, you can't sleep off. Drink this." he ordered. She was too feeble to protest further and some heat went past her throat. Seung finished the rest, his cold body welcoming the hot liquid with great pleasure.
Minjae had started to shiver, slight moans escaping her. "C-c-ol,,,d" her voice came from very far away.
Seung quickly dove under the covers and pulled her naked, frozen body against him. "I know darling, I am here. I will keep you warm."
Violent shudders wracked her as soon as she came in contact with his warm skin. Seung pulled the quilts closer, arranging them so they covered them entirely.
"Don't sleep!" It wasn't a good sign that she was falling asleep. She was not out of danger.
Seung wrapped his arms around her and draped one long leg over her, engulfing her in warmth, trying to cease her movements.
That night, long ago, she hadn't lied about not being able to swim. The child Kim Minjae had been rumoured to swim like a fish, and she could have grown up to be a woman who could dive to the bottom of the sea.
This Kim Minjae could not swim.
She had gifted him his life by almost snuffing hers out.
It no longer mattered that she could be a spy, that she claimed to have a husband she loved, or that she had met another man just hours ago under suspicious circumstances.
It didn't matter that she knew the scarred man and protected him or that she had concocted a story about being a runaway slave.
It didn't matter that she claimed to be the daughter of his father's killer. The truth or her lies, he couldn't discern. All that mattered was that Kim Minjae was safe and alive in his arms. And he knew it was him she spoke to when she came around at the shore.
"I love you..."
"I love you too, Kim Minjae, so much that I could die today if something happened to you. So you have to live. Come back to me," he said to her cold and shuddering form, holding her tightly to his chest, afraid and hopeful.
And then he prayed. Prayed as he had never prayed before.