"Can I hold your hand, Dari, please?" She whispered.

Minjae didn't care if Seung hated her. His life had fallen apart because of her family. She had torn him away from his mother and his sister.

She found herself sitting beside him, gently prying away the doll from his hands, wishing she could pry the burden of grief from his shoulders just as easily.

Without waiting for his reply, she lifted his hand and clasped it, giving it a squeeze.

"I don't know how to lessen your pain. I wish I was not born to that monster. I wish his blood didn't sully my veins," Minjae said, the words almost a hiss of pain.

To her relief, Seung's hand squeezed her back and said, "I told you in Hanyang, and I will tell you again. It's not your fault. If it wasn't for you, I would never have known."

His gaze fell on their joined hands. His jaw clenched, his thumb circled on the soft tissue of the back of her hand.

"But that's not what's hurting me, Minjae. I don't know how to work this pain out of my soul, knowing that even when you had a choice to come to me, you didn't." He raised his eyes, which had darkened with pain. "I don't know what's worse - knowing that I still want to be your husband despite everything or that I will forever be reminded that you never believed in me enough to lean on me."

"It was never because I didn't believe you.." she whispered. "I was too afraid."

Afraid. That word again.

With one swift motion, Seung moved his hand from her clasp. "What were you afraid of? That I would run to him with my sword hanging out to try and claim you? Or I would destroy you or your family if I found out he murdered my father?"

"I never cared about myself, but I couldn't lose you, couldn't put Ko Yoon in danger," she said, stung. "You don't understand. Eomoni was right; my father is too powerful, and your anger-"

Seung surged to his feet. "Are you even listening to yourself? Do you think I am some green lad who would ride a horse to his court and accuse him of these unspeakable deeds? You lied to me about him being dead! He all but killed you, and you thought I could punish you by whipping you?" His voice cracked. "How dare you!"

He ground his jaw to check his unbridled sorrow, but they burst forth like a broken dam.

Seung turned away from her, his shoulders stiff as they shook silently, devastation etched in every line of his proud body.

Comprehension dawned on Minjae. Unwittingly, in his mind, her words had reduced him to her father's level of depravity. And broken him all over again. Even in his rage, Seung had never laid a finger on her. No matter how many times her deceptions shook him, he took the blows standing upright, never once making her feel concerned for her safety. She was so foolish!

She rose and walked closer, placing a hand on his shaking back. "I know you would have never hurt me. It's not what I meant. Please believe me," she implored.

He turned back to her. "Do you even realise what you did to me? You allowed a woman not related to me to step into our home. My bed, Minjae! You let her into my ancestor's sacred space that only belonged to you and to us!"

"I tried telling you the truth so many times, so, so many times." The hand that had been on Seung's back was now curled at the base of her throat, the knuckles white.

For a heartbeat, Seung's gaze softened; his pain was too deep for words. His mind whirred with the thought that he had been willing to fight the world for her, yet the one person who mattered most never believed in his strength. It was a wound that cut deeper than he thought he could bear.

"Then why did you keep changing your mind? Why did you hide your truth when we met here?"

"At first, I thought you were married to someone else because I assumed my absence would automatically result in an annulment. The night you came home for the first time was when I learnt we were still married....and that Father might have been behind the murder of Father In-law. I had planned to tell you once you returned to the island with your family. But...I didn't know my father considered me so disposable.....so easily replaceable...." More tears burst out of her eyes. "I had lost everything. I couldn't lose you, too."

Seung's fists clenched until they bloodlessly hung by his sides as she sobbed. Until now, his rage had drowned everything to a point where only her deceiving him for so long remained, and nothing else penetrated.

He felt the first brick of that wall crumble, taking a bloody vein that split open with a realisation he had blocked vengefully.

Minjae had endured sexual assault and physical abuse of the kind that could make grown men quake in their boots, forced to drink poison, thrown away like a rag doll, given away her identity, and hidden like a criminal, with the danger of being killed if discovered.

And yet, she had stood against the merciless whips of fate, resilient, strong - and alone.

It didn't invalidate his heartbreak and the feeling of being deceived, but when the woman he loved broke down like that, he broke, too.

Then, with a muttered curse, he drew her in his arms, his hand gently patting her head as she cried. They both folded to the bed. He ran his hands from the blades of her shoulder to the low of her back in soothing strokes, murmuring endearments he could not help but escape his lips. Seung cradled her against his chest like a child until she calmed down.

Minjae could hear the shuddering breath he took as if he were deciding something.

"Tell me everything about how you came to be here. Leave nothing out."

At first, Minjae struggled to find words. The tips of his fingers made small circles on her back, unconsciously tracing her scars over the fabric, but as the first few words grew into sentences and then became an outpour, her tears dried up while Seung went still.

It was as if he didn't dare breathe. The knock on their door as the maids came back with refreshments went unanswered.

Minjae didn't know what to make of it. She felt a weight lift off her shoulders, but at the same time, she felt anxiety roil in her chest.

She knew he had already pieced together the basic idea of what happened, but putting everything together cohesively and telling them to him felt cathartic and terrifying at the same time. Her heart dulled with apprehension, but she kept quiet.

It was a long time before he spoke.

"I don't know how long it will take me," he said, his veins branching out blue in his jaw, "but when I am done with him, he will rue the day he was born."

She hung her head and closed her eyes.

His eyes locked with her, his voice gravelly as he said, "I had made peace with knowing that you might never love me the way I love you, but I don't want to be just a duty to you, either. I can't live knowing how irrelevant you find me. So, I want to know what it will take me to prove to you that I am capable of protecting what's mine."

A sharp pain cut through Minjae. She couldn't bear it anymore. She couldn't stand seeing him suffer, let him continue to believe he was unworthy of her love when it was the only truth she had ever known. All the barriers she'd built to protect herself felt useless now, crumbling under the weight of his pain and her own yearning. She had tried hiding, thinking if he thought less of her, it would be easy for him to let her go and protect his future. She realised in that moment that holding back wasn't protecting them; it was destroying them both.

Minjae took a deep breath, and in that single inhale, she made a choice—a choice to stop hiding, to show him the depth of what she felt, even if it tore her apart. She swallowed, her voice trembling with both vulnerability and determination.

The only thing that would get through to him was the truth. Raw, unadorned truth. It might not be what he wanted to hear; it wasn't pretty. Minjae took another shaky breath, her resolve hardening as she decided that if she was to lose him, she would do so with honesty.

"Yesterday, you asked me something, and I didn't answer because it would just hurt you more," she said. "The truth is, I don't know if I would have come to you if we weren't married. I don't know if I would have allowed myself to feel anything if it weren't for you being my husband."

The skin around Seung's mouth turned white. She only reinforced his fear that only the thread of duty connected her to him. Yes, she forged on. "I can't answer your question because I don't have an answer. Because for me.." she took a deep breath, no longer trying to suppress her tears that broke free in rivulets down her cheeks, praying that he would believe her, "it's always been you. I have loved you since the day we met. The day when you weren't my husband. I had planned to take your memory to my grave and serve my father and my then-unknown husband dutifully for the rest of my life.."

"What?" Seung burst out. "Say it again!"

Minjae raised her eyes to meet him.

Seung felt a whip slash his heart. He had never seen such naked emotions in Minjae's eyes. They were clear pools of amber, so deep yet viscous that he felt a tremor shoot through him. She had always managed to keep some of her hidden from him. Now, as he looked at her, it felt like he was staring into an ocean of untamed sorrow, a depth so profound it seemed to pull him under, leaving no room for air or words. The layers she had always guarded so fiercely were stripped away, revealing a truth that was raw, aching, and all-consuming. He suddenly had a glimpse of what that fifteen-year-old he had met but never seen might have looked like.

He caught her face between his hands. "You loved me when we got married?" He gazed into her damp eyes, incredulous.

She nodded. "More than my life, Dari. I was not clinging to false virtue," she said. "It was because I loved you that the fifteen-year-old foolish me could not let my father deceive you into a marriage with me. I truly believed you deserve the best, not the soiled daughter of a dangerous man who would not stop at anything -"

She didn't complete her thoughts. Seung engulfed her in an embrace that swallowed her soul.

"Did you still love me when we met again here?"

The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

Warm tears coursed down her cheeks as she nodded.

"And you still planned to separate us," Seung said, his words a statement and not a question.

Minjae hung her head with a heart wrenching sob.

Seung pulled her more in, crushing her to him.

"Why! Why!" Seung said to the top of her head. "You had no right to decide for us alone. I would have cherished you."

Minjae curled into his chest. 'I was foolish. I'm sorry. I only knew what the books and the elders taught me. And after your arrest, you hated me, and I thought you would not want me even if I changed my mind."

"Not want you?" He wiped the tears on her cheek. "I have always wanted you," he said brokenly, his palm cradling her jaw as he laid his cheek against her, the moisture on their skin melting into a salty mess of loss and longing.

"You have been my guarding spirit from the day we met. I loved you long before I knew what love was," he said.

"Dari, the only reason I lived was you. There were nights when everything was too dark, and I could not see the light. It was your thoughts that kept me going. When you came back into my life, I became greedy and wanted to have you in any way I could. You were the only good thing left in my life. I could not lose you."

Did she say what he thought she said? Oh heavens! He had it wrong. He had it so wrong!

With the clarity of a lightning bolt in a dark stormy night, comprehension pierced Seung's mind. It wasn't that she didn't think enough of him. It was because she loved him so much that the thought of harm coming to him could have ended her. She had kept him in the dark not out of mistrust but because the thought of him being hurt was too much for her to bear. The weight of his anger lifted, replaced by an overwhelming rush of relief and love.

A furious thrill of joy spread through him. Fragments of what she had said and done during the time they had been together started penetrating him fast, clearing up his brain. She had expressed regret about her hiding from him countless times without him realising it. She had even agreed to be his concubine just to spend her life with him despite the fact she was an independent, successful woman in her own right. Jo Hee Bong was right. Minjae had chosen to stay with him.

"Oh! Minjae! Look at me, darling," he said, catching her chin. "I love you. I love you so much it hurts. But you already know that, don't you?"

She nodded shyly.

"You will not lose me, and I refuse to lose you. Do you understand?" His eyes were burning with untamed emotions.

She nodded wordlessly.

"Something happened to push you to take the asinine step of giving the elixir to Soo Hyun. Tell me why."

Minjae coloured, her cheeks blooming an insane red, but her eyes dulled.

Someone had hurt her. His chest tightened.

"Please, sweetheart, no more hiding anything from me," he said, drawing her against his chest. He rested his back against the pillows.

Minjae nodded. "Governor Kim recognised me," she said dully. "He-" She closed her eyes, and he felt a swift punch to his gut. How much she suffered. He felt a familiar flash of anger, but he was beginning to understand that all the anger roiling inside him was not solely because she had hidden it from him but because he had never been there to protect her.

"He asked me to never let anyone know who I was because no one would ever go against my father. That I was too inconsequential to matter to anyone..." as she continued, Seung felt his grip tighten around her. He listened quietly to the entire exchange as the enormity of what Minjae had been facing alone tossed him asunder.

Placing a tender forefinger under her chin, he tilted it up. "Look into my eyes and tell me you are inconsequential. Tell me you don't know I would burn the world for you," he said, his voice so raw it felt scraped. "But then that is what made you afraid."

"Was I wrong?" She asked.

"Yes and no. I will burn the world for you. But before I burn it, I will ensure not even a hair on your head is singed. Now that I know what keeps you going, it also means I can't let harm come to me either. Am I wrong?"

The corners of her mouth lifted, and her hands curled on his chest.

"I returned to fetch you a few days after your last letter," Seung said and then paused, his mind calculating the days and something that had not occurred to him earlier. "Or at least what I thought was your last letter. It isn't your handwriting."

Minjae stared at him in shock.

"What are you saying?" She asked. "You went to fetch me after Father put you and Gil-ae in prison?"

Seung sealed his lips on her forehead. "Yes. Gil-ae wanted me to try. Somehow, she was sure there was a miscommunication. But more than that, even though you behaved terribly, there was something about you that I could not shake off, even back then- a connection I could not deny. But then they said some weird things, and that's when they started poisoning me against you more. It felt strange. In court, he threatened to destroy me if I didn't take you back. But when I went to fetch you, they would not send you to me. They deliberately gave me the impression you were soiled, entitled and unfilial, not to mention -" he swallowed. He should have looked deeper and pursued harder. Kim I-On had told Jo Hee Bong that Minjae's behaviour didn't make sense, Woo Sari had come to him, but he had been too incensed to find out more.

All the while, Minjae had been dying.

Something terrifying gripped him. "You could have died," he said, the terror in his voice shooting tremors that travelled through Minjae's spine.

"Yes, I could have. But I didn't," she stroked his temples softly with her thumb. "My father had already formed a plan to replace me with Soo Hyun. That is why he could whip me because he thought no one would ever see me again."

"How could a father do that to his own daughter? Why the whip if he was planning poison?" Seung wanted to rip Choi Si-wan's tongue and wrap his throat with it.

"My mother died during childbirth. He hated me for taking away the only woman he ever loved," she said sadly. "He knew if I went to His Majesty, I would insist on the divorce. So he made sure I was incapacitated. And then..."

Unable to stop himself, Seung covered her mouth with his. He wanted to feel her pulse, to know she was alive and safe.

"I am so sorry, so sorry I wasn't there for you," he said hoarsely, unable to stop the moisture escaping his eyes. "If I had only forced you to show your face that night..."

She shook her head. "I was stubborn. Even if you had seen me, I would still be adamant about leaving you. In fact, I never thought you would leave me in the first instance, so I was even prepared to hide my scratches so you would not have known..."

"I would have known it was you," Seung said.

Minjae frowned. "How? I made sure to keep my face hidden."

"How do you think I learned you were the girl from the gambling house hill?"

The silence grew pregnant as Minjae chewed her lip, realising there was more Seung had not told her.

He leaned closer, his arm gently encircling her, his touch lingering at the small of her back. His finger traced a delicate path to the base of her spine. "There is a mark here, only yours. Dark, round, and most exquisite."

"You...was I exposed that much?"

Those men, too, had seen it.

Her face turned green.

Seung cursed himself. Her horror at strange eyes looking at the most sacred parts of her body shamed her still. If she was still this affected by that, he could only imagine the weight her frail shoulders carried five years back.

"Those men died, Minjae. Someone killed them. My guess is it was Ko Yoon. It was just not him. All men who had ever tried to engage Se-min in gambling had been hunted and eliminated," he said.

A shudder ran through Minjae. Her swallow moved loudly.

"That night, when Ko Yoon put me on the boat, all I wanted to do was go to you and confess how wrong I was, to take me back...." Minjae felt overwhelmed, as if her body had become weightless.

It crushed him to hear how agonisingly lonely she sounded. Something inside Seung shifted, the ache from the truth beginning to fade.

He kissed her forehead and her cheeks and ran his tongue in the corners of her mouth before tucking her under his chin. "Let me be your angel, too, Minjae. You don't have to be strong by yourself anymore. You have me."

He lay down, bringing her to his chest. He wiped the moisture from her face and brought her closer. He eased the binyeo out of her hair, unbraided and let her hair fall across his arms. He ran his hand down her back to her waist, creating warm, sooting circled on her hip. She played with the strings of his handbok, twirling them around her fingers.

They lay like that for a very long time. The soft wafts of jasmine wafted around them. Seung raked her hair, making gentle compressions on her scalp. "You are safe. I am never going to let him hurt you again."

She nodded.

Minjae's eyes grew heavy, and she felt the tense cords of Seung's muscles relax.

When she opened her eyes, it only felt like fleeting moments had passed, but she felt rested. She found Seung propped on an elbow and watching her.

Suddenly feeling bashful under his scrutiny, she looked around. The light outside looked muted. She sat up.

"Did I sleep for long?"

Seung tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "We both did. All afternoon."

"Oh no! What must everyone think?" Minjae bit her lip. She was very well aware of how rigid the rules of a Yangban household were. Even if she wasn't contributing to any of it, she also didn't want the cause for disrupting it.

"You are Lee Seung's wife, who is not exactly known for being the rule keeper," he chuckled. He twirled a strand of her silky hair between his fingers. "Though now, finally having a Confucian disciplinarian for a wife might change some things around," he said with a twinkle in his eyes.

She bit her lip. Her fingers worried the hem of her sleeves like she always did when she was worried. Seung frowned.

He lifted himself. "What are you thinking?"

"Dari, can you find it in your heart to forgive me..."

Seung closed his mouth on her in reply. He needed to feel her pulse, to know she was safe, alive, in his world and his to love.

He wanted her to be truthful to him, and the only way would be if he was completely earnest with her.

"I want us to be honest with each other, Minjae. It still hurts, but more so because my shoulders are crushed with guilt. I ruined your life -" He kept a long finger against her lips to drown her protests, "and then was too blinded by my own demons to realise I had nothing on you when it came to pain and suffering. I am still upset, yes, but more at myself than you. However, I'm also scared. I can't," he gripped her upper arms in a painful grip, "trust you not to leave me again. Our situation isn't resolved. Our love has not been enough for you to fight for us before."

"I won't leave you again. Never again," she said.

Minjae might not say a lot, but when she spoke, Seung knew she meant it.

He pulled the strings of her hanbok. "Do you think we should seal that promise?" he asked.

A beautiful hue bloomed up her throat. "Can I ask you something?"

Seung watched her intently as she blushed more furiously.

He eased the jeogori off her shoulders, moving his lips along the lines of her shoulder blades as the fabric fell off, following the line of her rapidly climbing blush to her throat and her cheeks.

"Did So Hyun stay in your chamber these last few days?" She asked.

He paused, his lips on the tender skin of her ear. "Yes, she did," he said.

The movement was slight but unmistakable as Minjae shifted, moving away from him. "I see," she said.

Seung clasped her jaw and turned her to face him. "But I didn't."

She frowned, but her eyes cleared up as comprehension dawned. "But then where.."

"I worked during nights for the most part. I spent time in my chamber to make sure her maid didn't suspect anything. I convinced Soo Hyun to speak to her maid as if everything was normal between us," he said, his eyes darkening. "She agreed because I had given her assurance that I meant to bed my wife sooner than later. Gil-ae's shaman proved quite useful," Seung chuckled. "I asked her to give me a few dates around today, and it turned out that the most auspicious day to be with my wife is - today," he chuckled, a twinkle in his eyes.

"Dari!" Minjae covered her face. Then she asked, only a slight wobble to her chin giving away her anxiety. "Did you never feel -"

Seung clasped her hand, pulling it away from her face, stretching her fingers one by one, and then folding them in to form a fist, covering it with his large hand. "I could not stand her when I thought she was my wife. Do you think I would touch her when the woman who has my life clenched within her tiny fist turned out to be my wife? The only woman who is allowed to have me is the one I vowed to cherish, protect, and honour at the altar of my ancestors," Seung said dramatically, but the huskiness in his voice betrayed how much he meant every word.

He could feel her shoulders lose their stress. She had been hurt, worried and jealous. His smile widened. "But that does not mean you still do not get punished for your audacity," he said, an evil grin lifting the corners of his lips while he started peeling off the clothes of her body piece by piece.

He laid her down and covered her, his eyes a promise to make up for every little hurt she had endured. Seung could not turn the time back, but he would truly destroy a world that would ever try to take Minjae away from him again.

Unbeknownst to both, smoke rose on a far-off hill—black, swirling, dense, covering the moon. The earth-shaking hooves of horses, still too far to be heard, neared the lovers who had finally found peace in each other's arms.