Should a man, who is not your husband, lay his hand upon your skin, your virtue shall be considered ruined, and you shall be rendered unfit for marriage. You shall be lashed five times. Your father will hold the right to disown you, and your husband can divorce you.
Choi Ji-na had run. She had run from the man, run from her fate, and run until she had hit the back door of the building that housed the school. Thick vines covered the entrance. Everyone knew of it, but no one paid heed to it. No one thought anyone would ever use it other than the gardeners.
Until the most obedient student of the finishing academy, who was supposed to be sewing and relaxing with her earned time in the garden under a Mugunghwa tree, had used it and had come back with her virtue lost.
When you marry in a few years...
She did not have a few years. She only had four days. Four days to forget what happened. To deceive the man she would be marrying.
Ji-na felt numb. The blue and purple hanbok now nestled in her sewing bag.
Do not tell anyone.
He was wrong.
She would not be a liar, even if that meant she could never marry.
"What?" Her brother looked like he had leeches covering his body.
"What do I do, Se-min? What do I do?" Ji-na wrapped her hands around her waist, rocking to and fro.
"Noonim, y-you cannot tell anyone. Father will disown us," fear washed over his chubby face.
The beige and green walls of her chamber closed in on her. Ji-na had mistakenly hoped the security of her home would lessen her panic. The fear had settled on her tongue like an aftertaste of rancid food.
Ji-na took in her brother's terrified face. She knew she could not involve him. Whatever she did, it would have to be on her own.
Ji-na forced herself not to squirm under Lady Im Nabi's distasteful stare.
Her stepmother never made any effort to hide her hatred for Ji-na. Im Nabi, her mother's sister, younger than her mother Yoo-joo by seven years, blamed Ji-na for her fate of being tied to Lord Choi Si-wan. Ji-na had strained and pushed herself into the world while her twin brother had died with their mother, Yoo Joo, who, after two days of struggle, had become too tired to give birth to him.
Neither her father nor her stepmother had forgiven Ji-na for being the one alive.
Ji-na had been five when she had the first inkling of how much Im Nabi hated her.
"I will not take that spawn of that evil man back."
"She is your sister's daughter!" Her grandmother, who had been caring for Ji-na while Im Nabi gave birth to her half-brother Se-min and then two more girls who didn't survive, had cried out in anguish.
"And she killed her, and now I am forced to live with that monster," her stepmother had hissed. "Omoni, do something, please. I can't bear the torture of living with him."
Im family had been very powerful, but Choi Si-wan had installed Injo on the throne and wielded more power than the King himself. Her stepmother's fate had been sealed.
So was hers, Ji-na thought, dragging a jagged breath. Resolute, she gave her stepmother a beseeching look.
"Omoni, I have come with a confession of a sin I committed. I beg you to punish me for my sins, but I request you to hear me out."
Her stepmother looked at her with disinterest. Ji-na forged on. "I do not want to marry, Omoni. I want to spend my life serving you and Father."
"What?" That got her attention. Her stepmother was openly looking forward to getting rid of Ji-na. It did not go down well. "How dare you utter unfilial words from your mouth?"
Ji-na put her hands on the floor, bending over in supplication. "Mother, I sinned. I let strange men touch me. I was curious about the world outside and went out for a stroll. I made a mistake. I am ruined. Please, Omoni, we cannot let a good man marry me." Hot tears pushed past her eyes.
She heard heavy footsteps and felt a brutal tug of her hair at the nape of her neck. "You tramp! You harlot! How dare you! How dare you jeopardise the future of my daughter!" Im Nabi shook Ji-na's hair viciously.
A stinging slap ripped across her face, while the fist shaking her hair only got more brutal.
Im Nabi dragged Ji-na by the hair. Ji-na clutched her head desperately, trying to lessen the pain. "P-please, mother -"
"Don't call me mother, you whore!" So-won brought down her fists on Ji-na's back, each blow winding Ji-na out of breath. "We are going to your Father; he needs to know what his saintly daughter has been up to."
Silent hiccups wracked Ji-na's body.
Lord Choi Si-wan had never hit his daughter or raised his voice at her. He also, without fail, deliberately withheld any praise from her and never missed an opportunity to critique her. While all their relatives and her teachers never missed a chance to extol her virtue, her father always dismissed them with a smile. He would often see through her as if she did not exist.
Today, he was seeing her, studying her silently.
By all accounts, Lord Choi could be considered a handsome man. He had a round face with a square jaw and a defined chin that had a playful cleft peeking from beneath his sparse but attractive beard. He often smiled, his round cheeks readjusting to reveal two appealing cracks.
His smiles never reached his eyes. They looked on with a cold, almost glacial expression, freezing out any and all who mistook his smile for his friendliness. Lord Choi used his smile to express his feelings at any given time without giving away too much.
Like he was smiling now, the smile sending shivers down Ji-na's spine.
Ji-na sat motionless. She noticed her father fold a piece of paper and hand it to his faithful servant, Kang Do.
"So you think we will be deceiving the family by marrying him to you, so you want me to break the marriage."
Ji-na dipped her head wordlessly.
"You say the men got their hands to your skin and left scratches."
Ji-na trembled in shame and sorrow, her face pale and pinched.
Kang Do entered with something on a tray and placed it before Ji-na. Another servant placed a cauldron full of water beside it.
She glanced at the tray. A red, glowing, angry charcoal stared back at her from a bed of ash in an iron tray.
"Daughter, you must be punished for your indiscretion." Her father had risen and was now hunched beside her.
Dread clawing at her, she frantically looked at her stepmother, who returned her look with loathing.
Lord Choi reached out and dragged her right hand and pried it open.
Terror bubbled within Ji-na. She tried to pull it back desperately. "N-no, Father, please," she cried.
"If you don't accept this, I will have worse punishments for you, so sit still and do not make any noise."
Using a tong, Lord Choi dropped the burning coal in her palm and closed her fingers over it. The pain seared her. Ji-na whimpered. Tears flooded her cheeks.
It was over in minutes. Lord Choi dropped the coal into the water. Then he drew her hand and immersed it in cold water. "Do not worry. This will not scar you."
Suddenly, Lord Choi grabbed her by her head and forced her face into the cauldron of water.
Ji-na sputtered, struggling to breathe and gagged as water filled her nostrils and mouth and started burning her lungs. The bottom of the pot floated in waves, the piece of coal touching her nose, though her brain told her it was far from her.
Just when she thought she would pass out, Lord Choi pulled her head out.
Ji-na coughed and choked, the canal of her nose and throat burning, the new terror of drowning superseding the terror of being burnt. She shook uncontrollably.
"Daughter, listen to me very carefully. After today, you will not speak of this to anyone, not even yourself. You will marry and be a dutiful, obedient wife to your husband, who must never know the shameless words that came out of your mouth. I expect rewards for my investment in someone as worthless as you. The man you are marrying has a brilliant political future. You like that, do you not?"
Ji-na nodded, her throat swollen with fear.
"You will remain dutiful to your in-law's family no matter what happens until your sister is old enough to get into the royal concubine selection for Seja Choha. Do you understand me?"
Ji-na trembled like a leaf. Her sister Li-min was only five months old. Crown Prince Seyhoun was more than twenty years older than her.
Ji-na had always known her father was ruthless in his political ambitions but did not realise how cruel he could be.
Monster. That's what her stepmother called him. Ji-na finally learnt what she meant.
∞
Ji-na had always lived an ordinary, mundane life. She did what was expected of her and spent her time like a shadow under a lamp, always looking out for the needs of others. She would continue to do that as the wife of a man she was expected to wed.
Expected to deceive.
Ji-na ignored the tremors the thought brought her.
Their fathers, best friends since childhood, had promised their firstborns in matrimony. The groom's family had fallen on hard times, but both families had decided to keep the promise.
Though custom demanded that her groom stay the first three months in their house, Lord Choi had arranged for a separate house for them while they remained in Hanyang. He did not want his house to lose its order in any way, and her stepmother could not be happier to be rid of Ji-na.
Ji-na flexed her fingers. They were still stiff and hurt intensely when she moved them, though it was better than before. The angry redness still painted her palm, cracks appearing where the chaffing skin was healing.
Ji-na was the daughter of the most powerful man in the country. Her wedding attracted the best in the land. Friends, family, and neighbours had gathered in the massive garden where the ceremony was scheduled. Ji-na was laden with precious stones. Her wedding chest overflew with wealth. And it came at a price she was not sure she had it in her to pay.
"Pretend this day never happened," the man had said.
Ji-na let out a shuddering breath.
She would take her secret to her grave. She took comfort in leaving this house forever and making the best of what her married life would have to offer.
The rich, extraordinarily heavy hwarot was claustrophobic. The gache on her head was heavy, the pearl and gold-laden yongjam making it heavier. She prayed the weight on her head would get lighter for the rest of her life.
Thirty minutes later, the ground beneath her shifted, and the weight on her head came crashing down, plunging her into an abyss of darkness from which she did not think she would ever emerge.
∞
Lee Seung was dressed in his ranked robes of office. He looked at his friend, who was also identically dressed, chattering away happily. Jo Hee-Bong was almost as tall as him, with a happy disposition, and he seldom worried about life. He was two years older than Seung. He had cleared the state exams and was now a fifth-ranked officer. And he was thrilled about the marriage. Even though Seung's insides churned, revolting against the idea, he kept his thoughts to himself.
This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.
Lord Choi Siwan was no ordinary man. Hanyang ran on his whims, and no officer was unaware of it. Marrying his daughter was a promotion irrespective of rank because it guaranteed a place in the seat of power with a place in the ministry sooner than later. The air of envy among the young noblemen surrounding them was palpable.
The procession had reached the bride's house, and the ceremony started. The jubilance in the air was tangible.
The goose ceremony commenced. The bride's mother looked like she had swallowed a poison pill, but it did nothing to dampen the air of festivity. A round of ceremonial bowings later, the bride's mother disappeared to get the bride.
Soon enough, the bride appeared. Seung had known she was a little more than a child, but he was taken aback to see how awfully young she looked. Covered in layers and layers of expensive finery that overwhelmed her thin frame, she had a non-distinguishable face hidden behind a mountain of rogue and white powder beneath her odiously large hairpiece and a bowed head. She looked more like an inanimate puppet than a living bride. She even moved like a puppet, like someone was pulling her against her will.
Distaste filled his mouth.
Seung sighed and looked away from the uncomfortable scene. He could not wait for this necessary farce to be over. He had promises to keep and duties to disburse.
He glanced at his sister and mother, dressed in their finest, thriving in the festive atmosphere, and immediately felt guilty for his uncharitable thoughts. After a long time, his mother was again back amid the elite she had once been an integral part of, that too at the pinnacle of social hierarchy, no less.
He promised himself that he would do everything in his power to see that smile stay on her face forever.
Cheers erupted at the approaching nuptials, and his buddies started ribbing and passing crude wedding night comments. Jo Hee-Bong gripped his shoulder in encouragement, mischief dancing in his eyes.
Seung chuckled before remembering to raise the ceremonial purple cloth veil, the saseon 사선, held up by sticks on either end to cover his face. He turned his attention back to the bride just in time to see her sink to the floor.
Lee Seung's would-be bride, Lady Choi Ji-na, had fainted at their wedding table.
∞
Her eyes were playing tricks. Momentarily, her groom had forgotten to customarily veil his face with the saseon 사선, revealing the unforgettable features imprinted in her mind, currently softened in laughter as he responded to his friends.
The man standing on the east side of their wedding table was the man who had saved her four days ago. Ji-na felt the world crashing around her, a painful sound shattering the inside of her head.
"Pretend this day never happened; Your husband will never know," he had said.
He was Lee Seung, the man she was to marry.
And he would know.
She was now a willing party to the deception of the kind, honourable man who had saved her life.
She could not breathe. Ji-na felt darkness envelop her as she sank to the ground.
Ji-na came around to a sharp sting and cold needles sprinkling her skin. She was in a dark chamber. Her stepmother's face came into focus; her disgust was as tangible as the sting of the slap that had woken Ji-na. Someone was sprinkling water.
"Stop spraying water; you will ruin her dress and make-up," her stepmother berated the servant.
Ji-na gingerly stood up. She had no choice but to go through the nightmare. Her legs refused to hold her, and two maids helped her cross the vast distance between the chamber and her fate.
∞
Seung peered at the figure who had returned to their wedding table. It was evident stress had made her faint. If anything, the young woman looked even more unwilling. She barely raised her head from behind her demurely folded arms, hands clasped under the sleeves of the hwarot, her elbows equidistance from her face, and never met his eyes.
Either she was terrified or as against this marriage as he had been. The only other reason besides the two would be that she was too virtuous even to be curious about her groom to raise her eyes and so nervous about the marriage that she fainted.
"Omoni, this is too early. She is too young," he had tried to reason.
"We cannot delay any further, Seung. Lord Choi is too powerful, and he can change his mind. It is the only way to guarantee a good match for your sister. Lady Choi is less than four years younger than you. She is not a child. And all matchmakers I have spoken to have vouchsafed for her pristine character. More than one has told me no woman is more virtuous than Lady Choi in all of Joseon," his mother had been adamant.
Seung sighed. To live with someone that virtuous would mean a long, arduous marriage.
Seung knew he should not be complaining. He was marrying the daughter of the most powerful man in Joseon after the King, which guaranteed his sister and mother a secure future. He was aware that if they could, at least a hundred noblemen would switch places with him in a heartbeat. Moreover, underneath all that reluctance, considering her highly vaunted virtuous nature, there had to be a woman who knew her duties and would make him a good wife.
Most importantly, he would enter the seat of power. And that would make one thing that had consumed his subconscious growing up - find the killers of his father.
However, as the morning wore on, he grew increasingly curious about how unwilling his bride seemed about the whole thing.
Against his wish, she had managed to pique his interest. Underneath the mind-boggling volume of clothing, he could make out she was, compared to most women, a wee above average in height and slender in build. Slender was him being too generous, but she might fill out in a few years. If matchmakers were to be believed, she possessed a passably attractive face. What fascinated him was her exquisitely graceful movements. Her entire body moved like the fluid notes of a soulful song. Even though she managed to keep her face hidden, which was easy anyway because he was exceptionally tall and could only see the top of her head unless he deliberately attempted otherwise, she skilfully completed all ceremonial rituals flawlessly and with exceptional grace. Not that he had met too many women, but he had never seen someone so poetically elegant.
Then he saw the only aberration besides her grotesquely made-up, half-hidden face - the palm of her right hand. He noted it because her hand shook when she encircled the wine cup during their ceremonial drink, and he heard her wince.
It was an ugly red, as if........his mind could not find a word. He wondered what happened. He would have plenty of time to find out about it at night.
Despite himself, Seung found himself looking forward to it. His wife, whose face he had not discerned yet, had managed to stir something inside him. The prospect of married life did not seem as bad anymore.
∞
It could be said that Lee Seung was nervous as he prepared for his hapbangrye 합방례. Seung had always considered himself wiser than his nineteen years. The challenging circumstances of his childhood forced him to grow up faster than other children his age. He had come into this marriage feeling fatigued. There was little he could do to avoid being tied to a child bride. He had devoted his time to honing the skills of both his mind and body, and his idea of a wife was someone as grown up as he, with a sharp mind and possessing worldly wisdom.
Choi Ji-na seemed to have none of that, yet something about her intrigued him.
Seung decided he would first ensure she felt at ease with him. They would exchange the marriage drink, and he would tell her that before they embarked on the physical aspects of their marriage, for which he considered her too young right now, they would spend the next few months getting to know each other.
Happy with the thought, Seung opened the door a crack and peered inside. To his surprise, his new bride was curled on the bed, covers drawn.
Choi Ji-na moved as he entered. She sat up straight, her back towards him. As was customary, she was dressed in a white hanbok that was transparent at the shoulders.
What was not customary was that she was not waiting for him at the ceremonial drink table; she was turned away from him and made no effort to greet him.
Something about that slim, graceful curve of her straight back seemed familiar. Something tangible...for a moment, another memory flashed into his mind...of a terrified young girl...
Seung shook his head. Before he could think anything further, the woman, now his wife, spoke.
"My Lord," Choi Ji-na had a clear, strong voice, "I understand you have come to this room with some anticipations. However, it would behove you to lower some of those expectations."
Lee Seung looked at the white-clad back incredulously. While her speech was classically formal, the lack of respect through formal greetings and exchange of bows left him stunned.
"I am tired and would like to sleep if you do not mind," Choi Ji-na continued without pausing.
Her rudeness took the wind out of his sails.
"I do not have any expectations, Choi Ji-na. But I would like us to share a drink and start to know each other better," Lee Seung, though stung by her behaviour, tried what he thought was a mature approach.
"I do not possess the aptitude for it at present, so please forgive me if I have disappointed you."
She was touted to be one of the most virtuous women of the land. None of that virtue was currently on display. Anger stirred at her arrogance. Who did she think she was?
"Are you not forgetting about your duties, Choi Ji-na?"
"Forgive me, my Lord," she sulked. "I will resume them on the morrow. This is a big house with empty chambers next door that will serve your needs adequately. All of them would be no doubt better than the ones you are used to," her tone was caustic. "Please feel free to use one of them. Our house is full of servants. Any of the maids will be happy to help you."
With that, she laid back down, drawing the covers over her.
Lee Seung stood, his mouth open. He had just been summarily dismissed from his hapbangrye 합방례 room by his brand-new wife, with not so subtle dig at his humble belongings.
Lord Choi Si-Wan had raised a spoiled brat. Seung felt apprehensive for his sister and mother. If she was this haughty with him, what chance would they stand against this rich, spoiled woman used to getting her way?
He wanted to haul her and shake some sense into her. But he had never been violent towards a woman, and he was not starting with his child bride.
Instead, he went and stood behind her.
"Please bow," he ordered quietly.
The room was dim, with one lonely lamp imparting most of the light from the opposite corner of the bed.
She did not argue. Using those elegant limbs, she nimbly got up on her knees, folded her hands before her face and executed a quick but perfect bow without bothering to look up.
And immediately after, she turned around and laid back down. "I hope that was adequate, My lord."
Lee Seung dug his nails into his palm.
"Looks like you still have some growing up to do, Lady Choi. I am going out. Hopefully, when I return, you will have revisited your behaviour and understand that I expect a wife who knows to show respect."
If Seung had indeed hauled her up like he wanted to, he would have seen the blood her fingers had carved in her raw palm and the tears that fell as soon as he walked out of the door in anger.
Seung roamed the deserted streets listlessly. The first two hours, anger had jammed his head. She thought she was too good to be his wife. Selfish, self-centred, vain.
His thoughts wandered to another girl who had jumped into the path of danger to save him. In contrast to the privileged, spoiled life of his wife, he thought about the terrible circumstances that had brought that girl there in the first place. He wondered if she was all right. She had been so dignified and graceful even through the worst trauma in her very young life.
A memory juxtaposed itself with the uncharitable thoughts of his wife.....the memory of his young wife's infinite elegance under pressure.
Something odd stuck like a thorn at the back of his mind. Something that made no sense. Something that refused to leave him.
Choi Ji-na spent the entire time with him skillfully hiding her face. Why? Was she disfigured? It could not be. His mother and his sister had met and approved of her. Then why?
And he could not shake the image of her back - stiff, straight, proud - from his mind.
There was no way the daughter of the most powerful man in Joseon would be risking her life with shady gamblers in Hanyang.
She could not have any possible reason to. Her father was a revered figure; There was no conceivable way she could have escaped the millions of servants teeming the house even for a second.
Yet his gut intuition was screaming. Could it be her? She would have the injuries on her chest. If she was hiding those, she would not show them willingly, and he could not, would not, force her.
But she could not get rid of one thing that would confirm his doubts - the mole on her lower back. For that, he could bide his time.
The thought turned his footsteps back to his in-law's house.
The daily routine for the Choi household started early. Servants greeted him, a couple of them hardly able to hide their surprise seeing him out at night. He gently opened the door so as not to disturb her sleep.
The chamber was empty.
A letter lay on the table, written in shaky, terrible handwriting:
'I beg your forgiveness, my lord, but I kindly seek a divorce from you. It is not a marriage I eagerly set my eyes upon. I wish Father had paid heed to my desire for a handsome, rich husband. It is none your fault you are neither; Hence, I wish to find my own happiness. I am aware divorce is not something I can demand, but seeing how miserable our lives will be shall you choose to impose your attention on me, it is advisable you release me post haste.'
Sweat trickled Seung's temple. This was a bad dream, all charitable thoughts he had harboured in the last few hours vanishing.
How spoiled a woman had to be to have this kind of audacity?
He crushed the letter in his palm and strode purposefully towards the women's quarters of the villa. His sister had come to say her goodnight the previous night, and he had escorted her back until she entered her chamber and locked it behind her.
It took two sharp knocks, and his sister opened her door groggily.
"Oraboni, what -"
"I need you to go to Lady Choi Ji-na's bedchamber and ask her to come see me. Now."
His sister's eyes cleared up instantly. They swam with millions of questions, but she wisely kept them to herself.
Twenty minutes later, his pacing was interrupted by a worried Lee Gi-ae. "Oraboni, she is not there. None of the maids have seen her."
Seung felt blood drain from his face.
∞
The whistles of the rustling wind shaking the branches nearby caused her to jump. Ji-na gathered the woollen jang-ot around her more tightly. The neat rows of shrubs and swaying plum trees that gave her refuge in the sunny mornings during her school intermissions now cast ominous shadows around her. The cold stung her damaged palm. No matter how hard she tried, the dark accentuated her fear, and the memory of crawling fingers digging like claws in her chest brought waves of nausea.
It had been three long hours, and she was in danger of passing out with cold and fear.
Ji-na found herself knocking on the window of her friend's chamber a little later—her only friend who never misunderstood Ji-na's reticence for arrogance.
"Choi-Ji-na? How are you here?" Her friend had turned white with shock.
"Please let me stay with you for a little while. I will leave tomorrow evening."
Ji-na planned to go to the dock in the morning and secure a passage to her grandmother's village. She knew she had relatives still living there.
"Are you mad? You are married."
"Please, Kim I-On, just this night," Ji-na pleaded desperately.
"You have a husband now!"
"I can't - can't live with him."
Kim I-On looked at her as if she had grown horns. "I have not seen anyone more handsome than him, and he is supposed to be very smart. What is wrong with you? Did he beat you?"
"No! No, he did not. Please, I cannot answer."
"Is it another man?" Her friend gripped Ji-na's shoulders.
"Please, do not ask questions."
"No. I don't want to get into trouble with your father, my father or your husband."
"Please help me; I cannot go home. I will repay you one day, I promise."
It was late, and Kim I-On could hardly let Lord Choi's daughter wander the streets.
"Only for tonight," she said grimly.
∞
Lord Choi's cold eyes raked Lee Seung from top to bottom.
"You are accusing my daughter of an unspeakable deed. She would never do this."
"She has done it, My Lord, and we must find her."
Lord Choi looked at the letter again.
"She has not written this letter. It is not her handwriting. What," Lord Choi paused, his eyes lighting up with an unholy gleam that sent shivers down Seung's spine, "have you done with my daughter, Scholar Lee Seung?"