The Humo Robinson trundled along the highway at a sluggish thirty miles per hour, its once-majestic envelope torn and battered thanks to the Squared Circle Gang. Forced to travel by land, Worldwide Smoke was greeted with blaring car horns and angry drivers, all irritated by the lumbering airship-turned-roadblock. Shaska, Schwarz, and Prince Samudra were gathered around the steering wheel on the bridge, the prince crouching awkwardly in the cramped cabin due to his towering height.

"So, this is what we’re doing instead of going to the Piscomare Kingdom?" Schwarz asked, leaning on the wheel with a slight frown.

"The suits at Smoky Mart corporate can wait," Shaska replied, her eyes drifting—almost magnetically—toward Samudra. "More pressing matters came up."

"I cannot thank you enough for your kindness in undertaking this endeavor, Lady Shaska," said Samudra, bowing his head with regal grace.

"The pleasure's all mine," Shaska said, her smirk betraying her thoughts.

Schwarz, ignoring Shaska's not-so-subtle admiration, pointed at Samudra's legs. "So… do those legs go all the way up?" he asked with genuine curiosity, eyes widening in disbelief.

"Don’t be rude to our guest, pretty boy!" Shaska snapped, though her reprimand was half-hearted at best.

"It is quite alright, Lady Shaska," Samudra said with a patient smile. "Many are unfamiliar with my tribe. We of the Longleg people of the Panipuri Kingdom are a proud and industrious folk, renowned for our cuisine and music. Our traditions stretch back—"

As Samudra droned on, describing his people with painstaking detail, elsewhere on the ship, Carne and Lulupo explored the remnants of the merchant wares that once filled the Humo Robinson’s halls.

"Wow," Carne muttered, eyes scanning the aisles. "I've never seen so much stuff for sale. Salt Town didn't have anything like this. All we had were drugs and… well, more drugs."

"Yes, Smoky Mart is quite the empire," Lulupo mused, pulling a particularly elegant dress off a rack and holding it up to himself. "I've seen their stores from one end of the Provinces to the other–land, sea, air–you name it. Though I saw in the paper they’ll be doing some serious restructuring after giving Miss Shaska the boot. I'm sure we'll run into them again soon, after our little detour for the prince."

"So, you’re a mercenary?" Carne asked, poking around in a different area of the clothing department.

"I'm much more than that, sweetheart!" Lulupo replied, spinning the dress around in his hands. "I sing, I dance, I play several instruments. I’m everything you could want in an entertainer. I just also happen to know how to put hecklers in their place with a well-placed kick."

“…and you’re also a crossdresser?" Carne asked, raising an eyebrow as Lulupo twirled in front of a mirror, admiring the dress.

Lulupo paused, his brow furrowing in mild irritation. "Darling, it’s a new decade in a new century. Your closed-minded Serenist views might be stuck in the past, but queens like me are carving out our own path in the world."

Carne shrugged. "I’m not a Serenist," he replied. "Where I come from, the Father Above’s got no eyes on us. I’m just saying, most folks like you tend to stick to back-alley cabarets. I’m just curious about why you’re so… up front about it."

Lulupo smiled and struck a dramatic pose, the dress flowing around him. "Because, darling, the world is reborn after the Great War! It’s time for queens like me to claim the stage and the spotlight!"

Carne blinked, then flatly said "alright."

Suddenly, Andy’s voice crackled through the ship’s PA system. "Attention! Attention!"

A loud farting noise followed, accompanied by the unmistakable sound of Andy and Roxanne snickering like schoolchildren.

"Aaaaaaahhhhh… we have fun here. But seriously, hors d'oeuvres and tea are available in the promenade for anyone interested. Dinner will be served in three hours. Don’t be late!"

"Classy," Carne and Lulupo muttered in unison, exchanging a bemused glance.

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Later, the crew gathered around one of the tables in the promenade, having pulled the Robinson over at a rest stop (again, much to the dismay of other motorists, who couldn’t find room at the rest stop). Shaska, who normally got her food delivered to her room, was with them. Mostly just to be close to Samudra.

Andy and Roxanne came out with several huge platters, platters so big it was surprising that two normal, Aether non-adept people could carry them. They set them down and pulled off the lids, revealing a massive pile of steaks and a wide assortment of vegetables and starches for sides.

"Tonight, in honor of our new members, I prepared an extra special steak dinner with lots of different sides: coleslaw, broccoli, mashed potatoes…" Andy said.

"And because we're among royalty," Roxanne began, "I found our finest wine (our only wine, really) and cracked it open, that way, we have some real refreshments instead of the water, tea, or Panda Cola we normally have. Shaska’s connections to the underworld mean we—“

“Shh!” Shaska interrupted.

Before the tiny crew dug in, Andy and Roxanne made the sign of the Holy Noose of Serenicus (holding both hands up, crossing the arms in front of the chest, then finally putting both hands on the throat) and said a quick prayer. “Bless us, O Father, and these, thy gifts, which we are about to receive from thy bounty, through Serenicus, our Lord. Amen.”

As they did this, the non-Serenists filled their plates. Samudra simply filled his plate with everything but steak.

"What's wrong, Your Highness? Is medium rare not to your liking?" Andy asked as he began to help himself.

"Yeah, this guy's steaks are outta this world!" Shaska added with her mouth full.

"It is not that, Sir Andy. In my culture, cattle are sacred animals. We do not eat beef."

Andy froze mid-bite, his fork hovering in front of his face. His jaw dropped, eyes wide with disbelief, as if Roxanne had died right in front of him. "N-no beef?!" he sputtered, the steak nearly slipping from his fork. "That’s like… not breathing!"

"It's okay, sweetie. Different cultures are part of the adventure!" Roxanne said, rubbing his shoulder.

"I will gladly partake of your other dishes, though," Samudra added, smiling.

Tears were streaming down Andy's face, but he immediately sobered up with a cheerful "That's okay! More for me!"

"That was too fast!" Schwarz complained, holding up a hand in exasperation.

Roxanne looked over to find Carne in a similar situation; he hadn't touched his wine.

"What's wrong, Carne? You're not drinking," she asked.

"Oh, I don't drink alcohol. I’m not big on… crime. I'd actually rather have a Panda Cola right about now."

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

Roxanne’s eyes widened like saucers as her wine glass slipped from her grip, crashing to the floor. “W-what kind of adult doesn't d-drink…?” Her voice cracked, like she was witnessing a tragedy unfold, as if she had watched Andy die right in front of her.

"It's okay, Roxie, some people are just teetotalers," Andy said, rubbing her shoulder. “That’s the whole reason you had to bribe the cops to keep the business open in the first place!”

Tears were streaming down Roxanne's face, but she immediately sobered up with a "That's okay! More for me!"

"Not you too!" Schwarz complained again.

Roxanne brought Carne a bottle of Panda Cola.

“So, where exactly are we going now?” Carne asked, opening the bottle. “Because this highway is going the opposite direction of the Panipuri Kingdom, last I checked a map at least. In fact, Panipuri’s halfway around the world on a different continent!”

Shaska blew smoke and began to explain. “This road heads toward Troyde, a.k.a. Motor City. Big hub for car and airship production. But not too far from there is the town of Mazurka City. Small town known for its airship mechanics where we can get a top notch fix for a much cheaper cost.”

Shaska blew out a cloud of smoke, tapping her fingers on the table. "If we’re lucky, we can grab a mechanic to fix this mess so we’re not crawling through the countryside at thirty miles per hour. I didn’t sign up for this whole 'driving like a grandma' routine."

“That is fine by me, Lady Shaska,” said the prince with a nod. “As long as we do not stay too long. My people are in danger.”

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Early the next day, the Robinson set off again, traveling up the highway at a relative snail’s pace, again, to the consternation of other drivers, who let their frustration be known. Soon enough, Mazurka City was in sight, and the Robinson stopped at the outskirts of the town. Unlike their previous stop in Salt Town, Mazurka City was fairly well off, a small hub of industry about forty miles away from the massive industry hub that was Troyde. Much like the town of Zenya, most of the buildings were small, rarely reaching above three stories in height. That is, except for the airship yards and hangars that lined the outskirts of the city. In the distance was a lovely forest, along with a river. Nearby, was what appeared to be a watch tower of some sort. On the other side of the city was what appeared to be a traveling carnival.

"Sure is nice to come to a town that isn't dirt poor or being run by the mob," said Shaska, as she stepped off the ship and surveyed the town, puffing on her cigar.

"Alright, men, woman, and whatever the hell the bald guy is, here's the plan. Blondie, you're gonna guard the airship, just in case. Doctor kid, you're comin' with me and the prince to find some more people to man the crew.”

Shaska pulled a huge stack of losa bills out of her blazer and gave it to Lulupo.

“Bald guy and happy couple, here’s fifty grand. Go find this town’s best airship mechanic and hire him. If he says it’s not enough, tell him we’ve got more.”

The crew nodded and disembarked from the ship. Carne followed closely behind Shaska and Samudra with the express intent of staring at her rear.

----------------------------------------

Lulupo (dressed in a suit and glasses again) and the couple walked around the town. They asked around for airship mechanics, and every time they asked, they got a similar answer:

"Go look for Ren."

"Ren is the best mechanic our town has!"

"Ren can make any pile of scrap fly!”

"How can we find this 'Ren'?" Lulupo asked.

"Half a mile down the end of this road is Ren's shop.”

"Thank you, kind sir,” said Lulupo with a bow.

They made their way to the airship shop, and found a crew of huge, muscular men working on a small zeppelin among a host of other airships that appeared to be damaged in some way or another. Attached to the shop was what seemed to be a watch tower.

As the group were transfixed by the men working, a teenage girl walked up to them. She was around average height, had messy, slightly bobbed purple hair that framed her adorable face and goggles on her forehead, was wearing a dirty, knee-length emerald green dress and a large tool belt, which surprisingly also had two handguns holstered in it. She also had a toothpick hanging out of her mouth.

"Can ah help you?" she asked.

"Yeah, we're looking for Ren? Which one of those guys over there is Ren?" Andy asked.

"Ah'm Ren. Ren Zielinska," she replied with an eye roll. "Ah'm the foreman of this here shop.”

The group crossed their arms, and their heads collectively tilted at that.

"Huh?" they collectively said.

"You're so young, darling!" said Lulupo.

"And a girl!” Andy added.

"Why's your accent different from everyone else’s?" asked Roxanne.

"Oh fer the love of… state yer business! Ya got an airship fer me to fix?"

"Oh! Yes!" Lulupo began. "We come representing an organization called 'Worldwide Smoke'. Our business is small at the moment, so we're looking to hire a mech—-"

"Ah ain't interested. Already got mah own business," Ren interrupted, hands on her hips.

"No, see, we have our own business, too," said Andy. "And our boss is helpin—-"

"Ya lost me at 'boss'. Ah lahk bein' a small business owner, not havin' mah own boss! Besahds, ah got deep roots here."

"Could not tell from the accent," Roxanne thought, face contorting in confusion.

"Look, ya caught us at a bad tahm anyways. We're really backed up raht now. Just pull yer airship around and we'll get to it soon enough, if'n that's what yer lookin' fer,” she said, walking away.

"Hmm… I doubt she would have been interested in the five thousand losas anyway," said Lulupo.

"Well, now what? She's supposed to be the best around," said Roxanne. "I don't think Shaska wants to see us again until we hire her."

“Why is a teenage girl of all people running a shop like this, anyway?” Andy asked. “And why does she talk like she’s from the deep south when we’re in the midwest?”

A huge man covered in tattoos who saw what had happened left his work and approached the crew. He was brandishing an equally huge steel mallet. "Do not worry about Ren. She has not been the same ever since parents died. My name is Kowalski, second in command here. It’s a pleasure."

Ren put on a pair of heavy gloves and got back to work sawing lumber while Kowalski talked to the crew.

"You are coming to the right place for help with your airship, yes. But Ren has too many scars on her heart to leave and go on adventure. All the time on her breaks she is reading adventure stories and comic books. She wants to leave, but leaving is also too painful for her."

"You say the poor thing's parents died?" asked Lulupo. "She can't be older than eighteen! How awful!"

"Yes. Her parents were the former owners of this airfield. Killed by mobsters. Very sad."

“Killed by mobsters?” Lulupo asked. “Even in a quaint city like this?”

“Correct,” said Kowalski. “The Valentine Gang of Gokashi attempted to set up shop here. However, this city is not far from the fed base in Troyde. Feds showed up and gunned down the Valentines, and Ren’s parents were caught in the crossfire.”

“...but what’s a girl doing running her own business?” Andy asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Andy, darling, we’re working for a woman now,” Roxanne chided.

“Yeah, things are shaking up after the Great War,” said Kowalski. “What with women being given the right to vote, and all that.”

As Kowalski finished his sentence, the sounds of Tommy guns could be heard in the distance. A car blazed past, spraying bullets before swerving and nearly crashing into a light post in the street. As the bullets sprayed, Lulupo’s hair shot out like living tendrils, deflecting each round in a graceful ballet of Aether-enhanced protection. "Darling, a little finesse goes a long way," he said with a wink, as the bullets harmlessly fell to the ground.

Gangsters began filing out of the car, armed to the teeth with all sorts of guns and explosives. Leading the crew was a blond man with long hair tied back, arranged similar to the tail of a scorpion. He was wearing sunglasses and was smoking what appeared to be a cigarette, though the smell definitely wasn’t tobacco. As Ren left her post to head for the watch tower, the blond gangster boss pulled out a handgun and began firing wildly into the air.

“Alright, ya bunch of rubes! From this day forward, this pathetic city belongs to Colaart and the Scorpion Gang!” the boss declared.

"Gangsters," growled Kowalski, raising his mallet. "Excuse me, it is time to keep the peace." He walked away.

As citizens scrambled during the gangster attack, some lying dead in the street due to the gun fire, Shaska and her part of the crew remained calm. She looked out at the car by focusing Aether into her eyes to see what was going on from their far away location.

"Hm… the Scorpions. Their boss is barely worth the price of a decent pair of shoes. Twenty grand for that idiot’s head," she muttered, lazily blowing a cloud of smoke.

"Are you not going to stop them? Somebody must! I cannot believe this country allows random gangster attacks like this!" exclaimed Samudra.

"Hm…" she wondered.

She looked out at Colaart, who shot a few more rounds into the air with maniacal laughter as he blew smoke from his “cigarette”.

Suddenly, Colaart’s maniacal laughter turned into a gurgle as he crumpled to the ground, a clean bullet hole between his eyes. His men followed suit, dropping one by one, their panic escalating as each shot rang out with deadly precision.

"Interesting…" Shaska said, puffing on her cigar. She looked around for a sniper perch and found the watchtower attached to the shop. At the top was Ren holding a sniper rifle with smoke billowing out of the end.

"Whoever that girl is," Shaska said with a smirk and a puff of smoke as she unfocused the Aether from her eyes, "she's already on my payroll."