“This is awesome!” the audience chanted, followed by rhythmic claps. “This is awesome!”
Shaska stood at the edge of the ring. To her left was Schwarz, to her right, Lulupo, neither of whom looked to be in any condition to fight anymore.
"What do I have to gain from this anyway?" she thought, adjusting her tie. "Can't bring these guys in for their bounties; can't even make someone else do it, considering the feds will know damn well that I'm the one who beat them. Probably should've thought this through more, but…"
She got a good look at Fernandez, who, despite the blood running down his face, was having a blast. "If the feds can't stop this guy, this weirdo revolutionary… somebody has to. And more importantly," she clenched her fists and flicked her tail. "He gashed my freakin' airship!"
"Hey!" she shouted. "I'm the one your boss there said you need to pin!"
Despite her own injuries, she turned around, held her tail up and stuck her butt out, and smacked it mockingly. "Come get some!"
Hexagon and Star Man were enraged and slightly aroused by this, and turned their attention away from their original opponents. El Oso Gigante was still struggling to break free from Lulupo's hair.
“How ladylike…” Roxanne thought sarcastically.
Shaska turned back around, held her left palm out and her right fist back, then shot it out like a bullet at Star Man. The shockwave created in the air's water vapor and Aether knocked Star Man out of the ring and into the audience. Squared Circle gangsters booed. Everyone else cheered. Carne was too focused on his brothers fighting to care.
"Hooo… That move needs a lot of force; can't just toss those out for free, but I can't really fight like normal with my arm all messed up like this," Shaska thought. "This would be a lot easier if I had some more water… wait."
Shaska ducked back out of the ring, much to Schwarz's and Lulupo's dismay. "SHASKA! WE ARE DYING IN HERE!" Schwarz cried as Hexagon turned back toward him.
Shaska moved as fast as she could over to the muddy ground that was next to Andy and Roxanne's concession stand, diving in. She came out almost immediately, but completely drenched in mud.
"This should work," she said. Her muddy clothes heavily accentuated her ample chest, which only made her more popular with the audience. Andy whistled at her, only to be smacked by his wife. Though, to be fair, Roxanne could also only hope she kept her looks into her late forties as well as Shaska had.
Shaska made her way back to the ring, covered in mud. However, the dirt in the mud quickly began falling off; the water in the mud was all being drawn to her hands through her Aqua Bulla; she missed the days when she could rely on having a tub full of water at all times.
Hexagon had Schwarz on the mat again. This time, Hexagon was sitting on Schwarz's back while he lay prone. Hexagon grabbed Schwarz's arm and pulled it back so it was sticking straight up. The crowd cheered; they knew what was coming. Schwarz was too tired to just make another hole, and Lulupo was too tired and too busy with El Oso to help him.
"He's doing it! Hexagon is going for his trademark Arm Breaker submission hold!" cried Matthias, excited beyond all belief despite seeing it dozens of times before.
Shaska flung her water-covered hand in Hexagon's direction, spraying water at him with enough force to make it feel like he was being hit with a barrage of gunfire. Hexagon fell backward, and a pool of blood started to form around him; some of the water had pierced right through him. A hush fell over the gangsters. Everyone else cheered. Schwarz struggled to climb on top of Hexagon's seemingly lifeless body, but managed it as the referee ran over and counted.
"Hexagon Junior has been eliminated."
The gangsters stayed silent as Star Man reentered the arena, along with Abelard, who was still clutching his gaping shoulder wound.
"Hey! Hair Boy! Drop the big guy!" Shaska said to Lulupo. "I'm gonna finish this now. I've got enough water to rout this stable."
"No need to tell me twice, darling," he replied, letting go of El Oso before sitting down.
Water spiraled off Shaska’s soaked clothes, swirling into a compact orb that glowed with latent Aether. The orb spun like a whirlpool in her palms, faster and faster, until it was a blur. The ground trembled as she prepared to release it. "Step right up, boys! There's just enough for everyone!"
Abelard and Star Man froze in place. El Oso made another grab at Lulupo. They didn't realize they were already lined up perfectly for Shaska's final attack.
Shaska clapped her hands. The water shot out of the orb in three separate directions, forming into long spear-like projections that shot right through Shaska's three opponents, Abelard and Star Man through the chest and El Oso through the gut.
The three of them collapsed onto the mat. As she was technically only a legal target and not a legal fighter, Shaska dragged Schwarz and Lulupo on top of them so it counted as a pin.
"One! Two! Three!"
"Star Man, El Oso Gigante, and special agent Abelard have all been eliminated.”
Shaska held up her hands to the boos of the gangsters and the cheers of the rest of the audience.
"And just like that, Shaska has risen from the ashes to claim the title for her crew!" said Matthias. "Or she would have, if not for the two guys still fighting outside the ring!"
Shaska looked over to see Maiale and Prosciutto still fighting. "Oh, for the love of…"
"Hey! You two!" she shouted at them. "Why don't you finish your fight up here?"
The two agreed and climbed into the ring. As the two Abbiati brothers rose, still locked in their blood feud, Shaska stepped forward with a bored sigh. She grabbed them by the collars and, with a simple swing, slammed their heads together with a resounding CRACK. Both men dropped like stones. She then moved Schwarz and Lulupo on top of them for the final pin.
"Maiale and Prosciutto Abbiati have been eliminated."
The bell still didn't ring. Shaska put Lulupo on top of Schwarz for the final, final pin.
"Schwarz Eisenberg has been eliminated."
The bell rang. Shaska held up Lulupo's hand as he stood up, barely conscious. The crowd roared with both applause and boos. Fernandez's slimy smirk was replaced with a look of abject horror at the fact his toughest luchadors had been defeated, some possibly dead.
"This is it!" said Santana. "Your new Heavenly Showdown champion! CHAAAAAAAAAAAARLES LULUPOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"For the first time ever," Matthias began. "Someone who's not a member of the Squared Circle Gang claims the championship title!"
"This is unprecedented, man. I don't know how the boss is going to react," Hodgkin added, rubbing the back of his head.
Fernandez bolted from the ring, shoving through the crowd, and slammed his office door shut behind him. Hands trembling, he yanked the phone from its cradle, dialing furiously.
"Yes, what is it?" said a deep voice in a cold, heavy, central Occidentalian (most likely from Dammerung) accent on the other line.
"Sir! Lord von Ragnar! It's Gil Fernandez! My mission has been compromised! I'm about to be–"
"Silence." The single word cut through Fernandez’s panic like a blade. "What do you mean, you've been 'compromised'?"
"My luchadors! They've all been defeated!"
"And you are coming to me because you think that—-"
"I wanna talk to him! I wanna talk to him!" chimed in a high-pitched, almost sing-song voice in a similarly heavy accent. Despite the childish tone, it was unmistakably that of an adult
"Not now, Rusila. What would you even have to say?"
"SIR VON RAGNAR!" Fernandez exclaimed in a panic.
"Fernandez. You knew what the price of failure was when you decided to live outside the law. Doubly so when you joined my cause. Thank you for notifying me of your failure, but you must understand that my price for failure is death.
"I cannot rescue every one of my subordinates who gets into trouble; I simply do not have enough resources for that. Besides, it’s not time for my grand reappearance yet. Further, you and I agree that weakness is counter-revolutionary, no?"
"But!"
"You will either die at the hands of your enemies, or die by my sword the next time you show your face in front of me."
"Or, option number three," said Franco, casually twirling a pair of nixanium (an element that nullifies Aether and is strong as steel) handcuffs as he stood with Johnson in the office's doorway. "Spend the rest of your days in a cell in federal prison."
Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.
"Who is that?! The Losanian feds?! This conversation never happened!"
The phone immediately hung up.
"That was awesome!" the crowd cheered, followed by rhythmic clapping. “That was awesome!”
The moment the call ended, all hell broke loose. Feds in the audience lunged toward the Squared Circle gangsters, guns drawn, while the remaining wrestlers fought back with fists, chairs, anything they could grab. In the chaos, the Sharks and Bulls took their chance—gunfire erupted and knives flashed as rival gangsters tore into each other, the ring devolving into a battleground. Carne bolted into the ring with his medical bag to check on his brothers, a panicked expression on his face.
"Guys! Are you okay?!" said Carne as he got his tools out to tend to the wounds they had sustained in their fight.
The both of them still lay unconscious.
"You must be that doctor kid my goons mentioned," Shaska said. "How about you join us? We could use a doctor.”
Carne looked up, and his jaw practically dropped. His eyes turned into cartoonish hearts as they traveled slowly from Shaska’s long legs, up to her wide, curvy hips and the generous chest barely restrained by her shirt and jacket, and finally to her stunning face. A single lock of hair popped straight up from his head as if saluting her, before he sheepishly smoothed it back down.
"A-And like I told your crew earlier, I ain't leaving! Much as I want to escape this hellhole and voyage the skies, and… other things… my brothers won't stop trying to kill each other! Fix that, and we'll talk."
Shaska didn’t even hesitate, taking Carne’s words as a challenge. She grabbed Maiale and Prosciutto by their collars and knocked their heads together again like it was nothing. The brothers groaned awake, eyes blurry. "Alright, listen up, you brain-dead knuckleheads," Shaska growled, as she released them to rub her temple. "Your little brother’s ready to run off and chase his dream—if you two would stop trying to strangle each other every five minutes. Can we get a grip here? COME ON!"
The two brothers immediately started fighting again, hands at each other’s throats. Carne walked up behind Shaska. "It's not as simple as talking to them. Believe me, I tried."
"Listen, kid, I'm standing here with a gaping, bleeding hole in one of my arms, and my employees there can barely stand after the beating they just took. We need a doctor, and we need one now, capisce? I got money, if that's what you're looking for."
"Then why me? Why are you trying to help me? Why not get a doctor from Sugar City for your quote unquote business? Because I can fix you guys now."
"Word on the street says you’re some kind of miracle worker, kid," Shaska said, her eyes narrowing. "You've got a reputation. Sure, I could hire some fancy doctor from Sugar City. But where’s the fun in that? This is my business, my rules—and I think you’re the one we need."
Carne crossed his arms, still unsure. "And you’re offering me this because…?" Shaska leaned in. "Because my crew’s half-dead, and you’re the best damn doc in this hellhole. Now, what’s it gonna be?"
Carne thought about it for a second, then said: "Fine. You wanna know what happened?"
As you can probably tell, we came from a poor family. Not many jobs around here, but my parents managed. When I was only seven, my—-
"Got it. I know how to solve your problem." Shaska interrupted.
"Wh-what?"
"You guys need jobs, right? Instead of killing each other or smuggling booze and drugs, you guys need real jobs.
"I’ll front both of your meathead brothers a million losas each to open restaurants. One on each side of town. Instead of racking up bodies, they’ll rack up customers. Same rivalry—just without all the bloodshed."
"A million? Each? J-Just how rich are you, lady?!" Carne stammered.
Shaska ignored him, and turned back to the fighting gangster brothers. "Listen up, boys! The two of you are gonna start learning to cook steak!"
Maiale and Prosciutto stopped fighting for a second, relaxing their arms and looking up with confusion at Shaska.
"Huh?" they said in unison.
"I can see it now,” Shaska said. “Every city in the Provinces, we'll have a… hey, happy couple, what're your names again?"
"Andy and Roxanne," said Andy.
"I am so gonna say something snarky next time she does this," Roxanne thought, brow furrowed.
"Every city in the country… a Roxandy's. Let's take some of that violent energy and put it toward cooking and running a restaurant," Shaska told the brothers.
"Here's the deal, scumbags. I'm fronting you a buttload of money for this. You're gonna employ all your little cronies as staff and overnight security so you're not constantly robbed and such. I'm gonna give you my phone number so you can report to me every month. I can stay a little while if you need me to if you want me to give you some pointers on running a business.”
“Hell no!” Maiale exclaimed. “We make way more money running drugs and booze than we’d ever make running a dinky restaurant!”
Shaska’s brow furrowed, and her expression turned to an incredibly sharp scowl. She grabbed the two older Abbiati brothers by their shirts and pulled them in dangerously close, her low, somewhat gravelly voice now barely above a whisper.
“Listen up, boys,” she growled. “The great bounty hunter, Shaska the Greedy, always gets her mark. You either put your differences aside so your kid brother can join my crew, or you wind up in federal custody for your miles long rap sheets, and I take your kid brother by force. What’ll it be, fellas?”
Maiale and Prosciutto began to sweat profusely as Shaska’s threat sent chills down their spines.
“I’m the strongest and richest woman in the world, even after losing my business. DON’T underestimate how I can mess your lives up, even without Smoky Mart. Do we have an understanding, boys…?”
Shaska’s undeniable swagger intimidated the gang leading brothers, and they both sheepishly nodded. She pulled back, staring daggers at them as she towered over them. “Now, I’m going to pay one of the stooges around here to be an unbiased informant, if I get one whiff of trouble, I’ll be back in two shakes of a lamb’s tail to put the hurt on the both of you. Cook. The damn. Steaks.”
She then turned to face Carne, who was understandably shaken by Shaska’s threats as well. The boss’s expression softened. “So, you coming or what?”
"I… I always wanted to see the world… but I was always too poor and weak to do it mysel–"
"Yeah, I figured. That's what the happy couple told me, too."
"Will you stop interrupting me?! I…" Carne’s eyes welled up, his voice cracking. “I-I can’t believe it… It’s over. I thought— I thought they were going to kill each other!" His voice broke into sobs, tears streaming down his face as years of tension released all at once.
Shaska rolled her eyes. “Great. Feelings.” She turned her head, clearly uncomfortable. “I’m not exactly good with… emotions.”
Shaska looked over her shoulder away from Carne’s crying to see Fernandez being escorted away in handcuffs by Franco and Johnson. She left the brothers behind and walked over to feds. As she did, the three brothers shared a group hug.
“So... what’s the deal?” Shaska asked, raising an eyebrow. “You could’ve slapped cuffs on me a dozen times by now, but here I am. Why aren’t you?”
"Because we'd lose too many men trying to bring you in," said Franco. "Our superior officer is fighting for his life because of you."
"But you did beat the gangsters we couldn't," Johnson added. "We're not gonna let you claim the bounties, but we're also not reporting your involvement to the brass. Consider yourself lucky."
As Franco and Johnson turned and headed for the fed base, Shaska caught movement in the corner of her eye. Someone tall. Very tall. He was an extremely tall and handsome dark-skinned man, probably around thirty-five years old and ten feet tall, towering over even Shaska, dressed in very ornate clothing with a spear strapped to his back. For the first time in a long time, Shaska felt her pulse quicken. Her mind briefly blanked at the sight of the tall, handsome stranger.
"Good morrow!" he said. "I am Prince Samudra of the Panipuri Kingdom. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lady Shaska." He bowed, then held out his hand for a handshake.
"Samudra…" she muttered while holding out her hand to reciprocate.
"I would like to speak to you and your compatriots, if I may."
Shaska’s face flushed a deep shade of purple, caught off guard by how easily this prince made her feel like a love-struck schoolgirl. She blinked, momentarily stunned. “Y-yeah, of course. HEY!” she shouted, suddenly flustered. “Happy couple! Pretty boys! Doctor kid! Get over here—now!”
Andy, Roxanne, and Carne immediately came over. Schwarz and Lulupo needed a minute due to their injuries.
“My name is Prince Samudra of the Panipuri Kingdom,” he announced, his voice full of authority. “I seek warriors of great renown to aid me in a battle to save my kingdom. There is a prophecy in Panipuri: when the kingdom faces its darkest hour, a prince shall rise alongside powerful allies…”
"What's a prince doing in the slums?" Carne interrupted.
Shaska glared at him. "Don't interrupt Prince Samudra, doctor kid!"
Roxanne and Carne visibly bristled at this.
"If you must know, commoner, my airship went down in a storm and I washed up on the shore on the lake bordering Sugar City. I came here when I heard the wrestling commotion. I asked the Federation of the Globe for help, but they couldn't just give me a ship and a crew to head back home.
"'We're soldiers, not a ferry service!'" he said sarcastically.
"At the moment, my kingdom is on the brink of a civil war between factions led by my uncle and my older brother, the crown prince, after my father, the king, died of an illness several months ago. I was out traveling the world when I read in a newspaper that my uncle's insurgents started bombing villages and are making their way to the capital. I believe this is a sign. The prophecy is true and I am Panipuri's chosen son.
"I cannot go back alone, though. With my crew and airship gone in the storm, I cannot navigate my way back. And even with my spear training and potentia. I am not powerful enough to pacify two entire armies. That is why I am turning to you and your mighty warriors for help."
"Awww, we're not that mighty…" said Lulupo, coyly.
"You have a potentia?" asked a starry-eyed Andy.
"Indeed!" Samudra replied. He held out his hands. Steam shot out. "My Regis Vapor allows me to create steam."
"That's just the bee’s knees," said Andy, beaming.
"Well, Prince Samudra," Shaska began. She was trying to be in business mode despite the lewd thoughts on her mind regarding Samudra. "I’m in, Prince. But I don’t come cheap,” Shaska said, her business-like tone returning. “And fair warning, we’re not exactly ‘on the right side of the law’ anymore.”
"Yes, I am aware of your current predicament. I read about it in the paper today. I can pay you handsomely, so you can pay back what you owe. I might even be able to pull some strings with the feds to lower the amount you have to pay back."
"Deal," said Shaska, smiling. "Y'know, prince, this may be the start of a beautiful partnership. I can just feel it."
"Uh… don't you think we're a little small to be a country-saving fighting force?" asked Schwarz, rubbing the back of his bleeding head. "Half of us can't even fight."
"Armies have jobs besides soldiers. I'll find ways for them to make me money," Shaska replied.
"Does she always talk about people like this?" Carne whispered to Roxanne, who nodded, scowling.
"Let's head back to the airship then. We head for the Panipuri Kingdom!" Shaska exclaimed.
“But… the gash in the hull…” Schwarz noted.
Shaska casually replied with “the Robinson is equipped for land and sky. We can take it to another city to get repaired. I’ve gotten tired of Gokashi.”
“…and we’re just leaving because you’re tired of the place…?” Roxanne asked, slumping over, nonplussed.
“I’m sorry, do you want to deal with the Valentines in Sugar City right now?” Shaska rebutted.
Roxanne held her tongue, to which Shaska pulled out a cigar, lit it up, and answered “that’s what I thought.”
----------------------------------------
As they walked back toward the outskirts and the Humo Robinson, Andy asked "hey, what's our group called, anyway?"
Shaska took a moment, her cigar smoke curling around her. She grinned. “Worldwide Smoke,” she declared. “Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”