Shaska laid on the mat in disbelief. Her cigar had fallen from her mouth. The crowd cheered her loss. Her loss. She lost. The great bounty hunter Shaska was brought down by a group of feds who weren't even one of the directors or chiefs of staff.
"This is awesome!" chanted the crowd, followed with rhythmic clapping.
Shaska stood up and dusted herself off, nursing her injured left arm and sulking out of the ring in a confused rage. All the while the feds in the ring celebrated their victory to the cheers of half the audience.
"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!"
"And coming into the ring now… SON OF DESPAAAAAAAAAIR!"
A wrestler in a plain black mask with a big bushy beard made his way down the stairs.
"Three on one was hardly a fair fight. And two of them have potentia," said Shaska, coping to herself as the events continued to swirl in her head. "It’s not my fault I couldn't take them. I wasn't even trying. I could EASILY take on a director if I wanted."
Shaska looked over at Fernandez's office at the base of the stairs. "Hm… I did promise the boss I'd have words with him. Let's see what his story is. He owes me for damaging the Robinson like that."
She made her way over to the office. Two off-duty wrestlers stepped in her path, but Shaska was in no mood for interruptions. Without a second thought, she grabbed one by the collar, lifting him effortlessly with one hand, and used him as a club to knock the other wrestler senseless. Both hit the ground with a dull thud, out cold before they could even react.
"It seems like Shaska's feeling like a bit of a sore loser!" said Matthias.
"Yeah, bro, she looks like she has business with Fernandez. To be a fly on the wall in that meeting," Hodgkin added.
"Son of Despair has been eliminated."
She kicked the door open and found Fernandez behind a desk.
“Ah, Miss Shaska,” Fernandez said, his smirk never wavering. “Please, make yourself comfortable. I’ve been expecting you.”
----------------------------------------
"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!"
"Please welcome to the ring… the pretty boy ninja, SCHWARZ EEEEIIIISENBEEEERG!"
The entire crowd booed, which Schwarz played into by holding up both middle fingers as he made his way to the ring. He climbed in and said "alright. So, you took out my boss. That's fine, because you—“
Franco and Johnson both tried to attack Schwarz at once, to which he leapt away onto the ropes by pushing Aether into his legs to hop.
"Because you can't catch me, bleeeeeeeh," he said, pulling down one of his lower eyelids and sticking out his tongue.
Schwarz made a portal under his feet and spawned one fifteen feet in the air above the ring with his potentia, He fell through the hole at his feet and hung on to the hole in the air, then made the hole that was at his feet close, leaving him suspended by a one way hole. "See? You can't catch me."
Franco didn’t flinch. With a powerful leap, he defied gravity, bouncing off the air itself with controlled precision until he was face to face with Schwarz.
"How did you—“
“Aether can do many, many things, even without a defined potentia ability," Franco replied, raising his sword. “With the Aether Bounce technique, I push my Aether out of my feet to fly. Us augere types make do without any fancy potentia powers.”
"Hmph. Whatever, commoner."
Schwarz tilted the hole forward and let go of it, falling to the ring below. Shortly before landing, he spawned a new hole under his feet connected to the hole he was hanging onto, causing him to fly feet first into Franco's face. Franco lost his balance and was taken back first into the mat, where Schwarz landed on his chest.
The ref rushed over to start counting on the pin, but Franco managed to knock Schwarz off before Franco could be counted out.
Schwarz drew his sword and faced down the feds.
"Wooo! You got this, Schwarz!" Andy cheered from the stands.
"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!"
"Aaaaaaand introducing… the leader of the Bulls… PROOOOOOOOOOSCIUUUUUTOOOO ABIAAAAAATI!"
The gangster had accepted the challenge. A buff, swarthy man in a plain vest with no shirt underneath and a bandana covered in gang tattoos appeared from the door at the top of the stairs. Prosciutto growled as his body contorted, muscles swelling beneath leathery skin. His forehead split open to reveal thick, curved bull horns, while his face elongated into a snarling snout. With a bored look, he sauntered over to the announcer’s table and sat down. “I don’t care about you fools,” he grunted. “I’m here for my brother to show up so I can beat his fat ass.”
"No help at all," Schwarz thought. "Now I see how Shaska felt."
Carne shifted nervously in his seat, his stomach churning. “Oh, Serenicus… they’re really going to kill each other this time,” he muttered, watching his brother with a mix of fear and helplessness. “Please don’t do this…”
----------------------------------------
Fernandez's office was dimly lit, and just barely tall enough for Shaska to fit in. On Fernandez's desk was a red bull statue and a telephone, and the walls were adorned with various wrestling paraphernalia. He reached under his desk and pulled out a bottle of cheaply made, contraband hooch, then poured a glass for himself and Shaska.
"Now, Miss Shaska," said Fernandez, offering a glass of whiskey. "What brings you to my office today?"
"What. The hell. Are you doing?" she took the glass (which looked more like a thimble due to her size) and splashed it in Fernandez's face. "Why this contest? What was with that 'progress’ speech before the fighting started?"
"Both of those answers are related," he began, wiping the whiskey off his face. "“You see, I used to be just like you—a slave to the system, clawing for every losa, defrauding the feds, bending every rule just to get ahead. Because isn’t that what it’s all about? Power, wealth—those things have ruled the world for too long, haven’t they? Because money is great, no? I started this lucha empire as my own business first. People… They love violence.
"But then, not long ago, I met a man. A man who showed me the truth. The truth that there is no truth. No, all that matters in this world is power. And the power has rested in the hands of wealthy fat cats like you for far too long, be they kings or, these days, CEOs. I now hold my luchas as a way to acquire material wealth to fuel his revolution, so that we can—"
"What?" Shaska interrupted. "This is starting to sound…"
"He made me, an ordinary man, into an agent of justice. All who fall in my ring are unworthy. My threat to the feds is so great they put a bounty of one hundred thousands losas on my head. All kings shall be made as equal as their peasants under my benefactor's rule. The tyranny of the United Provinces and the Federation will be no more. If you knew the atrocities they committed, you would know they need to be destroyed. My plundering? My plundering is for a higher good."
“So let me get this straight—you’re replacing one group of tyrants with a new set of tyrants, all dressed up as ‘revolutionaries’?” Shaska smirked. “Sounds like the same old racket to me.”
"No! The power will be handed to the common man!" Fernandez exclaimed, growing flustered.
"I don’t care what war crimes the Provinces committed during the Great War. I don’t care what the Federation is doing now! No, what I’m here to do is kick your ass so your bounty helps pay off my debt!”
Fernandez chuckled. “Just you wait, Shaska. Revolution is coming. And apparently you don't want the chance to be in on it early. That's fine."
"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!"
"And coming to the ring now… BLAAAACKTHOOOOOOORN"
"Anything goes here, right?" Shaska asked.
"Of course. It makes for a better show,” Fernandez said cluelessly.
"Well, you wanna know what would make for a really great show?" Shaska grabbed Fernandez by the collar and threw him through the office's window as hard as he could, where he landed in the ring, bleeding from having his skin cut on the glass. The Squared Circle gangsters fell silent; the rest of the crowd cheered wildly.
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The fed sniper held his fire, for he too wanted to see what happened next. The same went for Schwarz and the other feds, who held off on their battle, which was nowhere near the ring at this point.
Fernandez staggered to his feet, blood streaking his face, and grabbed the mic. “I’ve got a new rule for you all! Whoever pins, OR KILLS, Shaska will be declared the winner!” His voice cracked with fury as the Squared Circle gang roared their approval.
The Squared Circle gangsters cheered, the others had a more mixed response.
"Other rules still apply," he added with a growl, before being removed from the ring and seated next to Santana, the ring announcer.
The feds immediately turned their attention back to Shaska.
"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!"
"Introducing… the lovely CHARLES LULUPOOOO!"
Lulupo sashayed out of the door, his blond hair teased to perfection, wearing a slinky black cocktail dress and high heels that clicked dramatically with each step. The crowd roared with approval--not just for his association with Shaska, but for the sheer audacity of his look. “Darlings, I know you love it,” he cooed, blowing kisses to the stands.
“He pulls that off better than I could, but… a man in a dress?” said Roxanne, sipping from a hip flask.
Lulupo sashayed over to where Santana and Fernandez were sitting, then grabbed Santana’s microphone. "You darlings ready for a fun fight that'll put a smile on all your faces?"
The audience cheered some more.
Lulupo put the mic down, then flipped into the ring, where he immediately pinned the new wrestler, Blackthorn. The audience had an even more positive reaction.
"Hmph, it seems violence is the only thing these people care about," he said.
Meanwhile, Abelard, Franco, and Johnson were all outside the ring and heading for Shaska in the office. Franco was bouncing off the air above the audience, who, along with Andy, thought that was the coolest thing they'd ever seen, while Johnson and Abelard ran along the ground. Schwarz spawned a hole in front of them and fell through it, intercepting them.
"You guys forget about someone?"
Schwarz spawned a hole under Abelard's feet and another one thirty feet away, sending Abelard away. He then closed the holes. "You and me, ostrich."
Shaska took advantage of this opportunity to start gathering water vapor for another Aqua Bulla drill shot as Franco continued to jump toward her.
Lulupo formed his hair into a large hand and extended it until it grabbed Franco's ankle, then dragged him back to the ring with a powerful slam.
"Darling, you need to keep keen awareness of the battlefield at all times," he said as Franco struggled to stand up. One can imagine that being slammed into a wrestling mat (made of wood with a thin padding layer on top) from high in the air while wearing armor isn't very pleasant.
Lulupo began to move in a dance-like fashion, stepping side to side with a rhythm. "Let's see if you can keep up with my dance!"
He started kicking the air in front of Franco's face, which made him back up a bit, before Lulupo dropped to his hands and started swinging his legs in a circle, which knocked Franco off his feet again. Lulupo flipped off his hands and onto Franco, who was laying on his back, sticking the landing on his chest. He then sat down on Franco's chest very casually.
"One! Two! Three!"
And Franco was out, to the dismay of the feds in the audience, who began to loudly boo.
"Santiago Franco has been eliminated.”
Lulupo stood up with a flourish, flicking his hair dramatically. “Now, darling… sashay away,” he purred, waving Franco off as the audience erupted in mixed reactions. Franco resigned himself to his defeat with honor and crawled out of the ring.
"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!"
"And now… the leader of the Sharks… MAAAAAAAAAAIIIIAAAAAAALEEEEE ABIATI!"
The fat man from earlier made his appearance at the top of the stairs, and wasted no time drawing his knives and charging at his brother, who got up and charged back. Maiale and Prosciutto collided like wild beasts, knives flashing as their muscles strained against one another. The crowd roared with approval, feeding off the raw hatred between the two brothers as their weapons clashed with brutal force.
"Guys, please…" Carne whimpered in the stands.
Meanwhile, Schwarz's sword was locked with Johnson’s ostrich talons. "So… what's the deal with your potentia? You’re awfully scrawny for an Aether user," Schwarz asked.
"It's trabea type," Johnson replied, crossing his wing-arms as he balanced on one foot. "It’s called Magna Avis! Being an ostrich makes me stronger!"
Johnson uncrossed his arms, then reached into the jacket draped over his shoulders and pulled out what looked like a black baton with two metal prongs on the end. After flipping a switch on the baton, it came to life, crackling with electricity. Johnson jabbed Schwarz in the ribs with the baton, causing him to howl in pain. He reflexively let go of his sword and staggered a bit as shocks continued to course through his body.
As Schwarz struggled to maintain his balance, Johnson's talons let go of the sword and performed a spinning back fist with Aether coursing through his wing arm, hitting Schwarz hard. Schwarz staggered for a bit more, then jumped back, stood up straight, picked up his sword, and sheathed it.
"Clearly that's not going to work," he thought.
“What the hell was that, bird?!” Schwarz shouted.
Johnson brandished the baton, spinning it around his wing fingers as it crackled again. “It’s the latest in fed technology. I helped develop it myself; it pulls Aether out of the air and converts it to electricity.”
“Hm…” as all Schwarz could respond with.
Then, he got an idea, an idea befitting the lucha they were in.
Schwarz lunged forward as fast as he could and wrapped his arms around Johnson. Johnson tried to break out, but Schwarz was much stronger than him, and the shock of Schwarz’s maneuver caused him to drop his stun baton. "What the—?!"
He jumped, spawned a hole under each foot one at a time, climbing the edges like a ladder, jumping to twenty feet above the center of the ring.
"Let's fly, bird," Schwarz said as he jumped backwards off the last hole with a spin, and right before he reached the mat, he spawned a hole.
Schwarz and Johnson spiraled endlessly through the portals, the world a dizzying blur of motion and light. They plummeted further and faster with each spin, until finally, Schwarz deactivated the bottom portal, sending them crashing into the mat like a meteor. Johnson hit the ground with a bone-shaking impact that he was somehow not killed or even paralyzed by, leaving the crowd in stunned silence before erupting into cheers.
Schwarz wasted no time in pinning Johnson. The crowd was finally on their side, cheering wildly at the display.
"This is awesome!" the audience chanted with rhythmic claps.
"Johnson has been eliminated."
The feds half-heartedly booed; even they had to admit it was really cool.
"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!"
Fernandez grabbed Santana's microphone. "EVERYONE ELSE! ENTER THE RING, NOW! Crush Shaska and her little cronies! HEXAGON! STAR MAN! EL OSO!"
As quickly as they could, the three wrestlers swarmed the ring. Hexagon Jr. was a man with brown skin covered in tattoos in a black mask with a white skull motif. Star Man was short and had a spaceman theme to his outfit, and El Oso Gigante was huge, standing at least ten feet tall, with a bear mask and bear themed tattoos. They circled around Schwarz and Lulupo.
"Any plans, Schwarz darling?" Lulupo asked as the wrestlers continued to circle around them. Schwarz drew his sword again.
Abelard finally made it back within striking distance of Shaska, running up to the office with his drill fists out. This time around, Shaska was able to fully charge her Aqua Bulla drill. The moment Abelard crossed the doorway, Shaska’s Aqua Bulla drill fired like a torrent, ripping through his shoulder with a force that sent him crashing into the wall behind him. Blood splattered across the floor as he clutched his shoulder in agony, gasping for breath.
"Dammit, I missed!" she said. "This office is too cramped."
She exited the office and stood over Abelard, who was grabbing his bleeding shoulder and writhing in pain as he fell to his knees. "When all this dust settles, remember that you attacked first. I ain't getting my bounty raised over this."
"But… you jumped on me from th—“
Shaska kicked him in the gut, making him collapse onto the ground completely as he hacked up a lung.
The three wrestlers continued to circle around Schwarz and Lulupo, who had made his hair long and flowing in anticipation of an attack.
Hexagon went first. He read the situation in regards to his own abilities, so he appeared to retreat by ducking out of the ring.
"Is Hexagon chickening out?" exclaimed an exasperated Matthias, hands grasping his scalp.
"Well, at least it's two on two now," said Schwarz.
Star Man ran backwards at first, too, but then climbed up the ropes and flipped off them towards Lulupo. Lulupo just grabbed him out of the air with his hair, swung him around, and slammed him into the ring. As he tried to go for the pin, though, El Oso grabbed him off, an easy feat due to their size difference, then suplexed him.
As Lulupo recoiled from the pain, El Oso stood up and moved toward him for a follow up. Schwarz stepped in by slashing him with his sword, but the monstrous bear wrestler was unperturbed. El Oso Gigante grabbed Lulupo by his ankles and swung him around rapidly, sending Schwarz into the ropes.
Shaska started toward the ring; if she was a legal target again, she might as well get it over with and potentially die with dignity.
It was at that point Star Man got up, and Hexagon returned to the ring with a steel chair. El Oso slammed Lulupo into the ring so hard he bounced and cracked the wood under the padding, then he started climbing up on the ropes.
"He's doing it! He's going for the Unbearable Elbow Drop!" Hodgkin cried.
El Oso jumped off the turnbuckle with his elbow out, but Lulupo, despite his body being broken from that last slam, managed to catch El Oso with his hair. The non-gangster members of the audience roared with applause.
Lulupo struggled to get to his feet while managing to hold El Oso in place, but he did it. "Schwarz, darling, help me out here. Stab him once or twice."
Schwarz untied himself from the ropes and ran over to help, but he was intercepted by a surprise steel chair to the back of the head from Hexagon. Schwarz was almost knocked unconscious as the back of his head began to bleed.
Hexagon picked Schwarz up, turned him upside down, and started running forward, then jumped and brought Schwarz crashing into the mat headfirst.
"OOH. THE RUNNING PACKAGE PILEDRIVER!" Matthias cried.
Schwarz bounced off the mat and tried to rise to his feet. Hexagon propped him up on the ropes, then a hush fell over the crowd. Hexagon reared his arm back, then slammed it into Schwarz's chest as hard as he could, causing the Squared Circle gangsters to cheer.
Schwarz clutched his chest in pain and noticed he had dropped his sword. "Oh, Serenicus…" he panted. Hexagon grabbed him and threw him back first onto the mat, then dropped down to pin him.
"One! Two! Thr—"
Schwarz opened a hole, and then fell through, landing in a different part of the ring away from Hexagon. He struggled to his feet while clutching his chest and got a quick survey of what was left to clean up from the announcers:
"Alright, folks! This Heavenly Showdown is reaching fever pitch!" said Matthias. "Schwarz is still barely holding on in one corner as Hexagon makes his way toward him. Star Man is making advances toward Lulupo, who still has El Oso Gigante all tied up. Shaska is stepping over Abelard to get back in the ring, all the while the two gangster brothers slug it out on the sidelines!"
"In all my time doing this, brother, I have never seen a lucha this intense," Hodgkin added.
Shaska stepped into the ring, surveying the chaos with an amused smirk. "Should’ve lit up a fresh cigar while I was in the office," she muttered, cracking her knuckles. Her gaze swept over the battered fighters. "Now… which of you pretty boys needs saving first?"
She cracked her knuckles. "Let's finish this."