=== CURT ===
The officers closed in around us, guns pointed at the woman I love and myself. Cindi, never one to hesitate, was already in motion. She flipped out of her chair, her dress flying through the air. She hadn’t gone insubstantial yet, so it hadn’t come off. I called out to her, “Cindi! Not here! There are people.”
She froze midair, hanging off of her chair. It was too late; the cops had started shooting all around us. Cindi slipped through her dress, which fell to the ground, and bullets passed through her. I growled and dove to the ground. People were screaming. I dug my rig out of my breast pocket and slipped it over my hand, crawling under the table. I could see my wife being an overachiever in the background. She was backflipping, going insubstantial at random intervals to avoid being shot. I put on my AR glasses and crawled out from under the table. A cop shot at me, and the glass to my side exploded. I marked the gun and redirected one of his frantic bullets back into the barrel, causing it to explode. “Everybody fucking stop!”
My shout carried over the intermittent gunfire, and shockingly, they did. Buck Cherry landed forty feet or so away from our table, prepared to start again instantly. The cops all froze. The only sounds that could be heard were the whimpers of the staff and the pained cries of the cop whose gun had become shrapnel. “Alright. Cin, grab your dress. We’re leaving.”
“You’re not going anywhere, scumbag!” The chief said, brandishing his gun. I stared at him in disbelief, my mouth hanging open. “You’re a terrorist, and I’m going to take you in.”
“I just want to get something straight,” I said as I rubbed my face. My hand dropped, and I looked at the portly man in front of me. “You are going to take us in. You. I regularly get one over on people like Bion, like mother fucking Smash Gal. And you, a cop on an island armed with nothing, think you can take us down.”
“I have this gun,” he said, taking aim. He tracked me as I dashed forward. He was a good shot.
“No, you don’t,” I said. He fired the gun. People screamed. I appeared just before him, grabbed the gun, and elbowed him in the face. Then I roundhouse kicked him, and he stumbled back and fell on his ass. He roared at me and tried to kick me, but I just stepped to the side. I looked at the gun in my hand. Then opened a portal and threw it in. He stared at me, mouth open.
“W-why are you here? What are you doing?”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, so why bother?” I asked, turning my back on him. There was a crackle over the radio, and a voice cried out.
“Mayday. There’s a ship off the coast caught in a storm. It’s capsized. Is there anyone in the area who can rescue them?” I looked at the cop who was glaring at me.
“Get the coordinates,” I said.
“What?”
“I’ll rescue those people. Get the coordinates.”
“I . . .” The man stared at me for a moment. Then he called into the radio and got the coordinates. I had already brought up a map and was tracking the storm. It was a sudden summer storm, coming from seemingly nowhere. I sighed and input the location he was given. Cindi was already dressed and making her way over to me. The other cops all looked at Cherry; the staff’s eyes were bouncing between the two of us, terrified of her and me. The cop met my eye. “When you get back, I’m taking you in.”
“I’m not coming back.” Reality shifted as Cindi put her arm around mine. We appeared on top of the boat that was rocking back and forth violently. I started to identify people with the glasses, disappearing them as I went. They would appear on the shore that was about ten miles out. It was easier that way. I took off my shirt and dove under the roiling waters. I could barely make out bodies that were sinking. I marked them with my glasses, and they were gone in the next instant. I swam around, looking for more, but I couldn’t see anyone else. I surfaced and took a deep breath. Cindi grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the water. I looked around, and the same thought that haunted me passed through my head too often. Imagine the good you could do if you just made this public. The rescues that could happen. If you weren’t so selfish, you would do it. Another thought had started to accompany these ever since my little trip off planet. It’s not even your technology, anyway. You don’t deserve it, you fraud.
=== KARI ===
I watched my boyfriend, Professor Mind, talking to the eco-terrorist Doc Oak on my phone. I couldn’t hear what was being said. The drone wasn’t getting close enough for that. One of the police snipers shot forth, and the bullet narrowly missed Chuck. Doc Oak had jumped back. The bullet tore through plant flesh, and I watched him cry out. PM turned to the cops, concern playing out on his face. More shots rang out, PM flew back out of the way, and they struck out around the vaguely green man. He threw out his arms and cracks formed in the dirt and plants exploded around him. His face was overtaken by rage and pain. The drone turned, capturing the plants overtaking the cop cars. Smoke that was crawling up under the feet of the police was snuffed out and the plants wrapped around the legs of the officers, and slammed them into the ground. More shots were fired out, but they were ineffective. Because, of course, they were. Chuck called out, and flew forward. He summoned an ethereal sword and slashed the cops free, who fell to the ground. Oakley screamed out, and gestured up at Chuck. Plants rushed at the call to war, and my Professor started slashing and chopping violently out but he couldn’t keep up. They grasped him, and pulled him to the ground. He was tightly restrained and Doc Oak stood over him, supported by vines he had crafted. I couldn’t see the man’s face, but I couldn’t imagine it was friendly.
Chuck’s just not made for fights like this. He can’t do . . . He won’t do what’s necessary, I thought, putting my phone away. I summoned a forcefield around myself and reinforced it for a moment or two before dropping off the building I had been resting on. I charged forward at my fastest speed, the air I had compressed into my psychic tunnel buffeted me violently, but it didn’t matter. I had to get to Chuck. Everything was protected from the force of the sonic booms I was creating. I slammed down on the ground. I hadn’t controlled my strength or created a barrier to disperse my landing, so it shattered underneath me. I charged forward, grabbed the cops, and pulled them out of the way. Vines and plant life tried to grasp at me, but they were nowhere near strong enough to stand up to me. I tore at them without even paying attention. Within the minute of me getting to the scene, the cops were all safe and far away. They were yelling at me, but I wasn’t listening. I blasted off again through the veritable forest that Oak had created, pushing through the plants, snapping branches, vines, and leaves. I heard him cry out.
“What are you doing!? You monster! Why are all of you such bastards?” He screamed out. I slowed down and landed in front of him, rolling my shoulders. Chuck was trying to cut through his bindings, but every time he did, the vines tightened, and he lost concentration. I clenched my fists, and sped forward again. Until I heard him cry out. I froze. “Stop, Smash Gal! Take one step closer, and I’ll end him.”
Chuck’s eyes were wide behind his mask. He was clutching at the vines. Doctor Oakley stood behind him, hand waving slightly in the air. Both of their faces were red with exertion. They were less than a thousand feet from me. I could get to Oakley in less than a blink of an eye. There was nothing he could do to stop me. He tried, though. Vines shot up around me and wrapped around my entire body. They constricted me tightly, trying to pull me down. And if I had been vanilla, an ordinary person, I would have been doomed. They would have squeezed and wrapped around me and probably strangled the life out of me immediately. But I just walked forward. Then I blasted off towards Oakley. The vines snapped, and he cried out and fell to the ground; there were tears in his eyes, and he looked up at me, enraged and consumed by pain. His hands were shaking; Chuck dropped down, the restraining vines slackening. Oakley tried to reach up, and I reeled back my fist and was about to slam it down onto his face. Then something else wrapped around my wrist and yanked me. Or tried to. I’m still Smash Gal. I spun on a heel, ready to destroy whatever it was. Chuck extended a hand, projecting a mental rope on my arm. I froze. He coughed weakly but pulled himself to his feet. “Smash Gal . . . Kari, don’t. It’s over.”
Stolen novel; please report.
I turned back to Doc Oak, who was crying weakly, curling into himself. I picked him up bodily and slammed my fist into his neck. He went entirely limp. I had used more force than I had intended and had broken the skin. Doc Oak’s blood was on my knuckles. I looked over at Chuck. “We can’t go easy on criminals. He destroyed a factory. He could have killed you.”
Chuck frowned at me, clutching his throat, but he didn’t say anything. The weeds Oakley had created retreated some but didn’t disappear altogether.Shaking my head, I started off towards the police. Chuck followed me. I could feel his eyes on me. And not in the way I wanted my boyfriend to look at me. He was disappointed by something, but I didn’t really know what. I dropped the man to the ground before the cops. They stared at him and then at me. Then they went to work, arresting him. None of them paid us any attention. I glowered at them. “You’re welcome.”
I didn’t wait for a response. I just blasted off, breaking the sound barrier eight times. Chuck couldn’t keep up. Which was good. I didn’t really feel like listening to his lecture right now.
=== CURT ===
I grabbed Cindi, and we popped somewhere else. It was my turn to choose what we were doing for the vacation. We still hadn’t eaten since we were interrupted. Cin wrapped her arm around mine and gripped me tightly. I glanced over at her, and she was pouting at me. I asked, “What’s up?”
“I know that look, Curt. You were beating yourself up over something again, weren’t you?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lied. “I’m on vacation with the most beautiful, delightful woman I’ve ever met. I have nothing to beat myself up over.”
“Curt,” Cin whined, clutching me tighter. “You really don’t. I wish you’d realize that.”
“Let’s just get something to eat. We have people to see, things to do, police and military institutions to humiliate.” She frowned at me, fully aware I was changing the subject, but she let me do it. We had snapped off to the other side of the world. We were back in Europe. I saw one of the world’s most famous landmarks when I glanced around. The Eiffel Tower was standing tall in the distance. We weren’t here for that, though. Cindi took out her own rig and chose a new address, snapping us far away from the random street we were on. I didn’t recognize it, but I also hadn’t spent much time in France. She had. She guided me over to a small family restaurant. Despite the seawater that had somewhat dampened our appearance, we were decidedly overdressed for it. The woman in the front greeted us with a smile. She walked out from behind the pedestal, took Cindi’s hand, and kissed her cheeks. They spoke French much too quickly for me to make out much of anything. So, I just looked around the restaurant. It was a small place, basically just a hole-in-the-wall. But I could tell at a glance that a lot of love and care was put into it. The furniture was worn but cared for. There were framed pictures of a family, including the woman Cin was speaking to; a mural of the French countryside was painted on the wall in that middle ground of amateurish and professional art. The hostess had diverted her attention to me and was speaking very fast in French at me. I looked over at my wife with wide eyes, silently begging for help. She just smirked at me. The woman took my hands in hers and squeezed them tightly. Her vocal inflection and tone told me that whatever she said was probably positive. I smiled at her and shook my head. “I’m sorry, I’m uncultured. Uh . . . Parlez vous . . . anglais?”
“She’s just excited to finally meet my husband,” Cindi said, her smirk breaking into a grin. “It’s cute of you to try, though.”
Both of the women laughed at me. And it was infectious. I laughed too. The woman guided us to a seat and sat with us, and they both spoke in French very quickly. I bet I could design a system that taps into translation software. Then at least, I could know what they were saying. I looked at the menu. It was also in French. I frowned and started googling to figure out what I could order. After a few minutes, the woman got up and left. I began to call after her, but Cindi grabbed my hand and held it in hers. “But I still need to order, and I do-”
“Shh,” she cooed, squeezing my hand. “Everything is okay. I ordered for you.”
“What? But I thought you were just catching up. What if I don’t like what you ordered me?”
“Curt,” she began, smiling softly. “Shut up and trust me.”
“I . . . Okay. Yeah, you’re right.” I took a few deep breaths and took her in. A candle between us lit up her face, causing her blue eyes to glint beautifully. She had that particular cat-like focus about her. A predatory look of self-assuredness and control. And it still made my heart skip. I stroked her hand. After a while, food was delivered, and I reluctantly let go of my wife’s hand. I didn’t recognize what she had ordered, but it was delicious. Simply amazing. The wine at the table was well-paired with our meal. I sighed contentedly. After I had finished sopping up the sauce with some bread, I asked, “What was that?”
“Their special. Did you enjoy it?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“Of course you did, Curt. I know you. And I know that the secret to your heart is a lot of garlic, meat, and sex.” I wanted to argue, but she was just correct. So I just rolled my eyes and grinned at her. The woman returned as we were getting up and spoke more to Cindi. I still couldn’t catch anything, lamenting my education’s lack of decent language courses. Just another thing to fix in the world. The woman handed us a dessert, and we were on our way. I offered Cindi my arm, finally distracted from all of my self-loathing. At least for the time being. She took it, and I snapped my fingers, and we appeared before the Louvre. The line was short. It was the middle of the week. Still, it was the most famous museum in the world. “Are we honestly going to go in there?”
“Yes.”
“Are we stealing something?”
“Not unless you want to.”
“Then why?” Cindi asked. “You pointed out just recently that we’re international criminals. Undoubtedly they know our faces. Aren’t we just asking for trouble?”
“Oh, we absolutely are. That’s the point.”
“What?”
“Cin, think about how fucking funny this is going to be. Two of the greatest thieves ever are going to walk into the world’s grandest museum and steal nothing. We will get to play hide-and-seek with the guards, it’ll cause an international panic, and it will be hilarious.”
“So, you just want to fuck with people? That’s what you want to do on our honeymoon?” She asked, her brow raised.
“Well, yeah, kind of. Do you have a better idea?”
“You’re an idiot,” she said, laughing. “Let’s do it.”
We made our way into the museum after buying our tickets. No one seemed to recognize us, so we were free to make our way through the grand halls by ourselves. The collection was amazing. We got a chance to glance at the Mona Lisa, which was incredibly small but still a masterpiece. We saw several displays of art from all over the world. After about an hour or so, Cindi drew my attention, leaning in and whispering, “We’re being followed.”
“Oh? Well, then. Should we have a bit of fun?” I whispered back.
“What did you have in mind?”
“We could lead them down a hall, snap behind them and greet our new friends. Nonviolently, of course. Don’t want to risk any of the art.” She smiled and guided me down a hall. I slipped my rig on and adjusted my glasses carefully. I accessed a map of the museum and marked out where I figured they would be as we made our way down the hall. I heard them turn the corner, but I purposefully didn’t look. Instead, I just grabbed Buck Cherry’s hand, and we shifted. We appeared maybe four hundred feet from where we had just left. Two people, both in black suits, not standing together, rushed forward to where we had just disappeared from. They got to the end of the hall, looked at each other, and then around further. One of them caught sight of us, pointed and yelled something in French. We looked at each other, grinned, and waved. Cindi gave a flourishing bow and said one of three phrases I knew of in French, “Au revoir!”
She snapped, and the world shifted. When the world reasserted itself, we were just outside of the museum. She clung to me, giggling. I laughed with her, pulling her in close. “That was much more fun than I was expecting, darling.”