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Slaying Monsters for Dummies
3.16 Like herding cats

3.16 Like herding cats

Nathan’s living room used to be barren, dusted twice a year to accommodate visiting family members. Now it feels like the lobby of a hostel that caters exclusively to secret agents. His own favorite couch is mostly left alone out of respect for the owner, he assumes, but here and there are the marks of their frequent visitors. Jericho’s spare charger and tools are piled haphazardly in a corner. Table games and puzzle boxes have been replaced by John’s notes and teaching materials. Seren left small bottle of liquid she uses to clean her blade. A carefully folded piece of cloth lies besides. Even Michael has weapon stashed all over the place. The only outliers are Patience and Martin, who have distanced themselves since the Varog assault.

The main door opens and closes. A few hesitant steps announce a well known presence and Nathan smiles.

“I’m here.”

Sarah’s elfin face pops from the corner and gauges his mood and that is enough to make him smile. Sarah is a great listener and her ability to read moods made her an invaluable asset in his team, back in after-sales. Now she uses that skill to help balance the eclectic bunch that is the staff and helpers of Seekers Security. Plus Gwahin.

The diminutive woman walks up to him before sitting in his lap. Nathan places a proprietary hand around her thin waist and brings her closer to him as she leans against his chest. Her rich black hair teases his nose. Her shampoo speaks of sunny afternoons and tropical islands.

“I hope I’m not interrupting your brooding, oh forsaken knight of the land?”

“You arrive just in time for my hourly tragic sigh, as I watch longingly into the distance.”

“What distance? It’s five meters then a wall of trees.” She adds teasingly.

Her hand brushes against him and he becomes much more aware of her, her weight on him and how warm she is.

“What happened in that gas station to make you so depressed? I know it’s not just your finger.”

“There was a young girl. I failed to save her.”

“It’s not your fault though.”

“Yes, yes, I know and John already coached me. I’m not feeling guilty I’m just feeling… Sad.”

Sarah’s hand takes his own and she looks at the bandage around his ring finger. Even with the wound covered, she cannot miss the shortened length. Nathan knows he’s made of meat but seeing what was left when the bandage was changed was a harrowing experience.

“You’ll need more that that if you want handicapped parking space you know?”

Nathan chuckles, the motion makes Sarah’s body bounce against his own. Their contact grows even more intimate. She lifts a finger and traces the edge of his jaw.

“I know what I should do, as a good friend.”

“Oh?”

“I should make sure that all your remaining extremities are still working in a way that celebrates the fact that we’re all still alive.”

She turns doe eyes towards him, her cute face the very picture of innocence.

“How on earth could we do that?”

“I’ll think of something.”

Nathan takes the giggling woman in a princess carry and walks upstairs.

The sun is starting to set when Gwahin makes her presence known. Nathan is reclining in the living room’s biggest couch. Sarah is taking a cat nap next to him. The Yol walks in like a pleased cat, a smiling Michael in tow.

Nathan takes in the newcomer’s disheveled appearance and flush faces.

Gwahin notices their freshly showered appearance and glowing faces.

“Huh.”

“Huh.”

Gwahin does look womanly, if you don’t mind the weirdness, so it’s not that shocking to him. That said, there is no way that he will let Michael get away with it.

“So Michael… Tossed any salad recently? “

“Nah dude, just gave your garden a good plow.”

Nathan should have guessed that Michael has no shame. He admitted a foot fetish in front of a full room after all. It’s almost as bad as being a furry. And he fucked a tree creature. Does that make him a planty? Does that kink even exist?

“When you two children are finished?” Interrupts Gwahin.

“Good. Now, Nathan, I am so proud of your first serious battle scar. First kill, first spell, and now first mark of surviving a deadly adversary. Truly, I am pleased with your progress. That is not why you asked us to gather though, is it?”

“No. There are implications to Kohr’s attack. I will explain when everyone is here. Wait, are you feeling this?”

A noise like the clink of a cup on a plate and the familiar feeling of thorn and trickery flood Nathan’s mind and he smiles widely. Spring has come, at last.

Nathan rushes to his bedroom in time to find the top of his pot jump in the air. An instant later a small weight bounces against his torso then flies around like a blur.

“Hahaha I’m so glad to see you. Wait… You’ve grown!”

Toothy smiles and twists. He is now taller, although his limbs are still spindly. His bark coat is more elaborate and some green can be seen here and there. His aura is vibrant and alive in a way that Nathan cannot find words for.

The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

“Let’s go downstairs, you must be starving.”

The mood lightens when Toothy fleets from one person to the other, not even hiding his presence from a laughing Michael. He zips through the air like a hummingbird and accepts treats, greetings and compliments. Even Gwahin seems pleased. After a while Nathan feels Toothy’s desire to go out and opens one of the living room’s French windows to let him explore a bit.

“You have done well once again, mortal. I was worried about bestowing a bond onto one so young but you have surpassed my expectations, for once.”

“One day you’ll give me a proper compliment.”

“And that is not today. Now! I do believe you had announcements to make. I am still waiting.”

“Right. Everyone gather around! Seren, you ok?”

“MuuUuUhh.”

“I’ll take that as a ‘sort off’. Before we begin, I have invited a new creature to live on this property. He’s digging a tunnel right now so the proper introduction will have to wait. I just wanted you guys to know.”

“…Whatever dude it’s your house.”

Nathan nods to Michael and studiously avoids his mother’s inquisitive gaze.

“Now, there are two things we need to address and it all relates to Kohr. The first thing is finding him, and the second thing is neutralizing him.”

“Is that how mortals call it these days?”

“Alright, three thing then, the last one being deciding what to do with the man.”

“Humf!”

“Don’t be like that, he could be of more use to us alive. Aren’t you a little bit curious about where the real hunters are? Anyway.”

Nathan takes a printed picture of Kohr and pins it on a newly acquired small board.

“This is our target. I will not elaborate too much because you already know who he is. I will add a few things. First, he is dangerous by himself. He has access to lethal spells in the form of vials that he throws around and who knows what else. Second, the man is a murderous sociopath who will gladly kill passersby simply because he’s a remorseless asshole. And he’s racist.”

“It’s like this guy has no redeeming qualities. Dude, can’t I just wait until he gets in a car and blow his ass to Canada?”

“That might work. We’ll get to it later. Last thing, Chauham and I both think he will attempt to kidnap one of you, and he will probably aim for a woman.”

The gathering falls silent.

“Really dude? You and Chauham agreed on something?!”

“No seriously, the women are at risks. Jerry is already on her way with the instructions not to stop for anything and Chauham’s Task Force will put a security detail on Patience.”

“Will they be able to do anything?”

“For once normal weapon should work since they only need to hit Kohr, and besides the creature with him either cannot or will not hide itself. And yes I will get back to the creature later, one thing at a time people.”

“So, my son, this is why you asked me to attend the meeting? You think that I’m in danger of being kidnapped?”

“Basically, yes. I think it would be safer of the non combatants stay low for a few days so Kohr doesn’t nab any of you.”

“I’d like to see him try.”

Diana stretches muscular shoulders.

“I’ll crack his head like and egg and shove those vials up his…”

“Mother!”

“For once I have to agree with the youngling, Diana Turner, at least before we hear about that monster of his.”

“Right. Before we get to that there is one last thing I need to address, and that is finding the man. Knowing he’s after us is one thing but even the Task Force has been unable to locate him. We should try to find him with magic. We can’t rely one someone else doing the job for us. Gwahin?”

“Yes?”

“How close am I to being able to make that construct? The dream catcher we used to locate Sarah.”

Gwahin sighs heavily and for a moment Nathan thinks she will protest. To his surprise, she doesn’t.

“With my direction and… Toothy’s… Support. And if you do it in the grove… You should be able to manage it.”

“Good. Now for the catalyst, would dried blood be ok?”

“No. Congealed blood could still work but anything else won’t.”

“Even if I believe it should?”

“Even then. I know what you are trying to do but this is Yol magic. There are limits to what you can achieve.”

“That’s unfortunate. What about blood of the monster? My Makka drank some of it.”

“Indeed? So. It must have grown then?”

“Yes. “

“As expected. No, the blood was used as fuel. You will not be able to recover it.”

“Damn. Well, I have one last idea. There was a fence around the house we, huh…”

“InvesTigAted…”

“Burglarized. It had a powerful warding. We should be able to use a piece of it as the catalyst since it was done by our target.”

“Indeed.”

“It’s settled then. We can get the part tonight, unless I can get the House to get it for us. Now, next item on our agenda…”

Nathan opens a laptop and turns it around to reveal a full screen Youtube video. The press of a key starts the short recording.

Nathan sees himself stand up from dropping Nora on the ground. If those fuckups had rushed to her help instead of filming like a bunch of morons… The very thought of it gives him a feeling of contempt that he cannot shake off; the slow burning scorn towards those who behave like sheep and deserve the same fate.

The others watch in silence as the trio fights against the monster, if only for a few seconds before the camera holders panics and books it. He replays the short clip and stops on the clearest shot of the black creature he can find. This makes him realize something else.

Nathan is seen mostly from the side, only those who know him would recognize him. John is wearing a cap and stays at range so recognizing him would be even harder.

Seren is bare-faced and close enough to the creature to be easily recognized. Hum. At least most comments call bullshit or applaud the “top notch CGI”.

“This is the thing that Korh controls. Gwahin, any comment?”

“I have no idea what this is.”

“Fuck,”

“Language!”

“… Sorry. I don’t know if I should be disappointed, or happy that this thing is rare enough that you never heard about it, Gwahin.”

“Its movements are impressive.”

“I believe that it can read minds, to some extent. I got some success hitting it if I don’t exactly see where I’m aiming but I don’t know how to make it reliable.”

“You probably shouldn’t. Especially if Seren is on the way.”

“Yeah the more variables and the harder it is for me to dodge stuff. Ugh. Head hurts.”

“Here little warrior, have some infusion.”

“Thanks Gwahin, I just wish it didn’t taste like bitter mud…”

“Is that some sort of infusion? Does that help with headaches? What about bloating?”

“You should try her bark juice missus Turner, it’s better than coffee.”

“Of course it is! Anything I brew will always be superior to anything you can find by yourselves…”

Nathan sighs. He should be happy that everyone is getting along well despite… Everything. Right now it feels like herding cats though.

“Please everyone, let’s finish planning then you can all have some down time.”

“I got an idea. I’ll just add a shotgun attachment to my rifle and increase the spread. That should be enough to threaten its eyes. I also think the both of us should go to Kohr’s house together for safety and meet Mirrah on the way. We need to know more about the tattoo instrument. It doesn’t make sense that Kohr needs it that badly. His guardian creature is more dangerous than Varogs.”

“That’s true, I’ll call Jin then. It wouldn’t hurt to get some support from them as well.

“I’m join you guys when you go after Kohr. I’m pretty sure the man himself isn’t bulletproof, and you said he can’t hide. I’ll bring a sniper rifle and stay away in case he has Varogs with him.”

“Sounds good. There are two things I can think of that would help against the creature. I’ll take Gwahin’s advice on them tomorrow when we craft the dream catcher. All of it will help us but Kohr remains our main target. We get him down, and the creature should not be an issue. Seren?”

“I’ll stay here tonight and tomorrow. I need more time.”

“Fair enough. It’s settled then. Tonight John and I leave while you guys stay there and make sure Jericho arrives safely. Tomorrow we prepare, and in the evening we track Kohr and decide if we take him down on the spot or if we need any more planning.”

“What about Chauham? Is there any reason why we shouldn’t involve him? We made a truce after all.”

Nathan pauses. Calling Chauham goes against his instincts; those same instincts that could be fed to him by the weave to make him into some kind of cocksure pulp fiction protagonist. Is there a good reason to refuse? No. But does calling for help go against his personal beliefs? Against his commitment to the weave and himself?

Also no.

“None at all. I’ll drop him a message and if we successfully track Kohr I’ll inform him so that we can attack together.”

“That also solves your third point. What to do with him.”

“I guess it does…”

John nods and everyone stands up. Well, the men stand up. Seren is nursing the mana tea flask like a hard core juicer while Gwahin, his mother and Sarah discuss proper tea preparation. The mood is light-hearted despite what the stakes. A few months ago, he would have been worried sick about being set against a murderous psychopath and a monster and now he only feels wary. Humans really do get used to anything.