“Being a horse is amazing,” the horse told me. “Once you fall from that tree, you will see it yourself. Maybe we can run together one day. Explore the entire world and save many people on our path. Everyone who sees us will tell tales about us to their children and our legacy will become more impressive with every generation that reproduces our adventures.
The horse waited for his strange guy to climb back on its back, and galloped out of sight. He looked so majestic as he disappeared behind a forest. Suddenly a hand closed itself around me. The humans, they were back! The hand pulled me from the tree and shook me violently. I desperately tried to transform into a human, but it didn’t work. I was a measly bug.
I woke up in a human form. I pushed the hands grabbing my shoulders away and got on my knees. That’s when I realized I wasn’t home anymore. I was far away from my tree and my sisters. I had become a weird, humanoid blob. Denny sat on her knees beside me, her eyes glimmering with excitement. “The sun rose,” she explained, “it’s time for you to learn us about Grogger The Generous!” “Grogger the wha… oh yeah, my master, Grogger the Generic! That’s right! He is such a great guy!” I didn’t want to part with my warm blanket, so I wore it over my shoulders as a cape.
“Do you have the documents laying around somewhere? My memory is a bit rusty.” “Aren’t Groggers laws your entire purpose?” Denny asked, “How could you forget that?” “That is… a very good question, haha,” I laughed as I searched anxiously for a logical explanation. “See, different followers have different tasks. That way it’s more efficient,” I told her. “Ahhh, good old instruction papers 905,” I stammered as she handed me her documents. “Let’s see…” I started reading the first page as fast as I could. I suddenly realized how lucky I was that I had inherited the reading skill with my transformation. I would be so done for if I had to make something up here.
Grogger the Generous, mighty and strong
I ask for your mercy, oh please hear my song
Show me generosity, save my health
Teach me your ways, share me your wealth
Lead me to wisdom, riches and love
Bring upon me your blessing, help me from above
Accept my offer, a spoonful of pain
And pay me back with victory and personal gain
That sounds pretty greedy for a prayer, I thought to myself after reading the poem on the first page. “That sounds greedy as fuck,” said Denny, echoing my thoughts. “Ah, yeah, that’s right,” I stuttered, “Grogger likes to get to business quickly. No need for endless begging and pretending to worship him for his greatness alone. He’s a pretty chill dude if you ask me. He gives great deals if you ask me. Wealth and wisdom in return for just an …errr… spoonful of pain… Sounds amazing, right!” “Sounds too good to be true. How much pain is a spoonful of pain exactly?” Denny asked. “We, a spoonful is…” I started flipping the pages looking for an answer. “It depends on how much you’re asking I think.” “You think?” “I… I…” “You can just tell me that you’re lying. I don’t get why you are making up such a weird story. Are you that desperate for food?”
I wasn’t sure what to say. Denny didn’t look mad about my lies, but telling her the truth could still be dangerous. The other humans would kill me immediately if they found out. But if I was honest, I might be able to convince her to keep my secret. “Don’t worry about it, little one,” Denny giggled, “I want to play along. You might convince my friends to actually try worshipping a god for once. It’s a win-win situation.” “Why do you want to worship a god so badly?” I asked her. “Hah, got you, now I know for sure you were lying.” Oh no, a trap. Now I’m definitely going to die. “Don’t look so scared, the deal is still on. I think following an ancient god might give us a lot of power and protection. My friends think it’s dangerous, but now they don’t have a choice. It’s perfect.”
“Hmm, fine,” I said, “let’s study this thing before the others wake up then. I need to know what I’m teaching them.” I turned the page. It was another poem with a drawing of a young, tall man next to it. It seemed like there weren’t any real instructions in the document, it was a collection of fanart of the ancient god. The first pages were pretty typical prayers, but the further we looked, the more those prayers started to sound like love letters. There were also way more drawings of the god the further we got. Some of them were colored with blood. “Well that’s disturbing,” Denny said. “It seems like she used to cut herself to offer her blood in return for small favors like luck or money. The blood on the drawings are gifts for which she didn’t ask anything in return. She must have had an unhealthy obsession with him.”
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“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked. “It looks pretty messed up, I don’t want you to draw your own blood just to please a random god. You won’t have to engage in this craziness if I leave now.” Denny smiled at me. “It doesn’t sound too bad. That elf was doing great until Jesper killed her. I think this god offers good trades. But thanks for being worried about me. Who are you by the way?” “I can’t tell you what I am, because I don’t really know myself.” And because you’ll probably laugh at me when I tell you I’m a bug who failed to become a human, I thought. “No real creature looks as hideous as me. My name is Sliver,” I said. “You’re not hideous, Sliver, I think you’re cute,” Denny told me, “you remind me of a pet frog I had as a kid.” “Thank you, I guess,” I said, not sure if a pet frog was an improvement on being a hideous monster.
“Is our little gnome-elf giving you a head start on worshipping ancient gods?” Jesper asked. I had been so focused on the notes of the elf that I hadn’t seen the man wake up. “The sooner we get to know this god, the sooner we can ask him to grant us power. And his name is Sliver by the way,” Denny said.
“Don’t get too attached to that little worm,” Jesper growled, “I don’t want to see you cry when he proves to be a useless liar and we have to cut his throat. Or maybe you should be the one to do the honors, getting a bit of training with that spear.” Jesper made a dramatic stabbing motion in my direction as if he were wielding a gigantic spear made out of air.
“The only person I’m going to stab is myself,” Denny replied. “Wait, what?” She waved the documents in front of his face. “Sliver just explained how we can trade our blood for Grogger's blessing.” “Wow, that’s fucked up. Are you sure it’s a god you are trying to worship? Because stabbing yourself sounds like a way to summon demons.” I had been asking myself the same question, and luckily, I had found the answer in one of the poems. “There is some ambiguity about the nature of Grogger, I explained. “But we don’t have to worry about any of that since as far as we are concerned, gods and demons are the same thing. The term demon is an invention of humanoids to describe gods that are more selective in what humans they interact with and who aren’t satisfied with low-effort offers like food and poems. Grogger is often described as a demon because he requires his disciples to pay him with pain. However, greater offerings do bring great rewards. He didn’t get his nickname “the Generous” by scamming people.” “If you say so,” Jesper said, but his voice betrayed his distrust.
After a quick breakfast, Helen, the group’s leader, decided to start moving immediately. There was no time for introductions to ancient god worship, they were still too close to the town where they had murdered the elf. Most people didn’t give a shit about the fate of elves, but she might have had relatives who should have found her body by now. There is no point in risking battles that don’t bring profit, so it was better to leave the area.
As we moved further from their camp from last night, I realized with a growing sense of dread that we were moving away from the direction of the place where my sisters were kept as well. But what could I do? As far as they knew, my only mission was traveling by their side. I had gotten myself into this mess by wandering toward that fire like a moth to a flame. And now I will miss the meeting with my sister. Who knew when I would see her again.
When the sky turned a darker shade of blue again, Helen stopped us. Allys made a fire while Denny invited me to read the documents one last time before I started teaching them about my “master”.
As I was reading, I suddenly realized that this god might exist for real. I hadn’t really thought about the consequences of worshipping a random god. I had just assumed that the ancient god didn’t exist, or wouldn’t care if I made up some rituals, but now I started wondering what would happen if he did in fact exist. Would he care that I was using his name as a way to stay alive? Would he be mad? Or would he simply enjoy his free followers?
“Hey, Sliver, are you awake?” “What?” Helen was standing right in front of me. “It’s time for you to teach us the ways of your god. What do we have to do? Or are you admitting that you don’t have a clue?” There was no going back now. I slowly got up and prepared to talk.
“Grogger the Generous,” I said, once everyone sat down around the fire, “is an ancient god who gives his followers great gifts and luck in return for regular, small offers. Most gods ask for flowers, animals, or prayers, but Grogger is different. He doesn’t believe in beautiful rituals and smooth lies. He only sees the proof of true dedication. Grogger is good to his followers, but he doesn’t help cowards and freeloaders. That’s why he asks his disciples to pay him with pain, and in return, he will help you achieve any goal you want, as long as your offerings are high enough to please him.”
Everyone remained silent. I had tried my best to make Grogger sound as reasonable as possible, but I was fully aware of how the ancient god still sounded like a sadistic demon. He most likely was a sadistic demon, so I wasn’t sure how to work around that. Denny sensed my hesitation and tried to salvage the situation.
“That doesn’t sound too hard, let's pay Grogger back for his dead follower with a gift of pain!” Her fake enthusiasm could barely hide the nervous undertone. “Let's all grab a knife, draw some blood, and let it drip into the fire to get back on Grogger's good side.” She grabbed a small knife out of her pocket and carefully put the knife against the bare skin of her hand. She bit her lip as she slowly dragged the sharp point forward. A thin, white line appeared in the palm of her hand, but there was no blood to be seen. “Let's… let's try that again,” she stuttered. This time she closed her eyes and slashed the knife against her skin as fast as she could. This time, some red dots appeared, soon filling the entire cut with a dark shade of red. Denny held her hand above the flames, waiting for a drop to fall off, but there wasn’t enough blood for that. She decided to scoop the blood on her hand up with the knife and held the blade in the fire for a second.
“That probably counts,” she decided. “Allys, you’re next.
I had no way of knowing back then, but the offer did in fact count. It was the first step on a staircase to power.