I was hanging from our tree again, but this time, I was alone. There was no wind and no sun. I was freezing and starving because our mother had died. I couldn’t move, couldn’t scream, couldn’t fall. There was no way of escaping a slow and cold death. Clouds gliding in front of the moon formed dark puddles of shadow on the grass. It seemed as if the darkness itself was approaching. Some shapes on the ground didn’t follow the rhythm of the moon. They were free-roaming shadows, out to get me. Suddenly I felt something moving inside my mouth, wiggling around. I tried to push them out with my tongue, but I couldn’t open my mouth since I hadn’t developed lips jet. But how did they get in then? It was maggots, they had dug themselves a tunnel through my skin, now feasting on my flesh as if I was already dead.

I opened my eyes and tried to spit the wiggling sensation onto the ground. “Don’t!” a familiar voice warned me. I froze, afraid to do something wrong. “I’m feeding you”, Sendly explained. “The humans said you were starving to death, so I’m catching worms for you. Now start eating them.” My eyes widened at the idea of the mouthful of worms inside me. “Ah, I get it, humans are picky. Well, just pretend they are human food or whatever.” I shook my head in disgust. I didn’t have the courage to spit them out, afraid of what a clump of entangled worms would look like. “Oh come on, it took me a long time to catch all of those. Are you really going to die because you can’t swallow the food I have literally put into your mouth?” My stomach was aching. My head hurt. Sendly’s complaints made my headache worse every time she spoke with her scratchy, raw voice. Chewing and swallowing a mouthful of worms couldn’t possibly make my situation any worse, right?” I slowly started biting down on my wiggling meal until all movement ceased. “They’re pretty good, right?” Sendly said. I shook my head in disagreement but kept eating.

Once every last worm had disappeared, the reality of my situation set in. My hunger seemed to have gotten worse by eating. I felt thirsty and exhausted. I looked down at my naked body. I looked like a clay sculpture that had been tossed aside long before it was completed. That’s when I realized I never would be complete. Sisters from a tree can only transform once in their life and when the transformation is completed, that’s it. No going back. No backing out. I would stay a formless blob forever. Not human enough to go unnoticed, but too human to be ignored as some kind of beast. I was a tiny man that looked like a cartoonish drawing made by a six-year-old. I was lacking the features that would have made the human form somewhat appealing. Their strength and fingers would have been useful to defend my sisters, but I had none of those.

I slowly tried to push myself back onto my feet. All my muscles ached as if I wasn’t meant to move. It was a slow and excruciating process, but I did get up. As I was standing there, on my feet, back straightened, shivering, and hungry, I knew I had survived. I had become a deformed mistake of nature. My body was a hideous mystery. But it was a body and I could control it and as long as there is the tiniest bit of control, there is hope. Even if I was meant to die from my underdeveloped body, I still had time to free my sisters and live on in their legacy. Maybe it was for the best that I had become a monster not worth living as because I wouldn’t have to worry about my own life whilst protecting the ones of my sisters.

“Where did they take them?” I asked Sendly. “That way,” she said, pointing her beak in the direction where the humans had first appeared on the horizon. “I’m not sure if you should go there just yet though. I don’t believe they are in immediate danger. You need to eat more worms first.” I took a few steps forward on my wobbly legs. “I’m fine,” I told her. “I might not be able to best them in combat, but I can take a look so I know how to prepare myself.” Sendly shook her head. “The road is long and your body is weak. We can’t afford you to waste your last strength in vain. I will be your eyes and look out for them while you focus on surviving. Find shelter, get warm, look for food. We’ll meet again the morning after tomorrow to discuss what we are working with so we can hatch a plan. If you travel in the same direction as our sisters, you will stumble upon an abandoned house. Humans like to carry a lot of stuff, so maybe you can find something there that will help you reclaim your strength.” I nodded quietly. My brain wasn’t functioning enough to produce any rational thoughts and Sendly’s plan seemed reasonable. All I wanted to do was to hunt down the humans and Sendly’s plan allowed me to start walking in the right direction, so I was happy with it.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

I had never experienced true loneliness in my life. My mind had always connected with the minds of my ten sisters. Suddenly I was all by myself. Sendly’s silhouette became invisible in the blink of an eye against the night sky. I should have told her I cared about her, I thought. We never spoke about our feelings, because we just knew what our sisters thought. But now there was a rift that I wanted to bridge, but I didn’t know how. Sendly was gone and all I could do was to force my tired, foreign body to keep dragging itself forward step after step.

It didn’t take long before I slipped on the wet grass and started rolling and gliding down the hill. Once I looked up, my home had been reduced to a tiny plant sticking out of the ground, somewhere high in the sky. I realized I was not going to come back there anytime soon. There was nothing our tree had to offer me since we had fallen.

It was weird to finally feel coldness. I never had suspected the wind to be sharp and mean. The strangest of all was the realization that it didn’t feel like something new. The hunger, the cold, the anger. I was as I had experienced them many times before. I longed to put on my coat, go home, and sit by the fire while telling Sarah stories about the dumb ideas that got me and Mikel into trouble when we were younger.

I froze. Those thoughts weren’t mine, they were the humans. By copying his form, I had also inherited the man’s memories. They started invading my own, pushing them aside. I needed to get them out of my head. I didn’t love the cheerful girl who could make wooden tools and furniture with the precision of an experienced woodworker. I screamed internally and shut my eyes, hoping the thoughts would go away. My sisters. My daughter had stolen my sisters. Maybe she had killed them already. And she wasn’t my daughter, she was a nasty, awful human who didn’t deserve to live. Hurting her wouldn’t hurt me. It would hurt the man who had destroyed our lives and I knew just how much he cared about that girl.

I had stopped walking. There was a dull stinging pain in my hand. I was digging my teeth deep into my skin. The pain slowly drove the confusing thoughts away. I shouldn’t be thinking about Sarah right now, I should be looking for the old house. Maybe I could make a fire and get warm again. I stopped biting myself and looked at the marks my teeth had left on my skin. There was no blood, but the shape of my bite was clearly visible. Oh well, I thought, if I can do that to myself, maybe I can do it to those nasty humans too one day.

Something heavy pushed me down in the dirt. I screamed. “Got you, silly child,” a heavy, rasping voice whispered. “What the hell? What’s your problem, furball!” I shouted. The thing on top of me growled confused. “Wait a minute,” he said, “you’re not supposed to speak. Are you a mage or something? I’ve never had a mage before. The last time I tried, they set my fur on fire. And why are you naked in the middle of the woods anyway? Is this some sort of ritual, kid?” The big fur monster sniffed me loudly whilst speaking. “I don’t know,” I told him, “I’m not a human, I’m a sister. I just fell from my tree and now I’m looking for a house. Have you seen anything like that?” The wolf grinned. “Oh, so I have a crazy one, huh? Listen, kid, most people are scared when a wolf attacks them. And you should be too. I’m going to eat you.” “Wait, wait, you can’t do that,” I said, “I need to free my sisters. It’s really unfair if you eat me like that. I got snatched from my tree moments ago.” The wolf licked my arm and softly put it in his mouth, but let it go again.” “You don’t look very healthy, kid. You’re pale and you look very weird from up close. Are you ill or something? A buddy of mine ate an old man who looked pale like you one day. He got sick and died within a week. And that man wasn’t even disfigured like you.” The wolf sniffed a final time and then climbed off me. “Yeah, no, not taking the risk. Good luck with whatever disease it is you have.” His tail disappeared into the darkness where it had come from. “Wait!” I shouted, “Can I borrow you for a moment? You’re so warm and I’m freezing.” “No thank you, I’d like to not get infected.” The wolf sounded distant already. I got up again and kept walking.

I was in fact a naïve child at that time. I survived the encounter because of the dumb luck that innocent people often seem to have. I wouldn’t let a stupid animal humiliate me like that now, but at the time I was weak. But I can forgive myself for my carelessness because, despite everything, I got up again and kept walking. I didn’t have the brains yet, but at least I had the determination.