(Ruins Exploration, Research Facility Zillen Outpost X-22)

[https://i.imgur.com/K2krCZ4.png]

I came to with heavy movements and turned my head to look at my right shoulder. The arm was completely missing, and was replaced by a stump. Some distance away, there was a large pool of blood on the roof and I could see my actual arm a couple of feet away.

Beyond the ledge I heard humming and turning of the wheels. Huge dust clouds were kicked up. I did a quick peek before immediatelly ducking back. It is good that I did so as an autocannon round immediately whizzed past my previous position. Still, that quick glance was enough for me to understand everything. While it might have been quick for a human, it might as well have been a month to me.

I estimate that the spiderbots were only a third of their usual movement speed due to the brittle sandy ground. Their wheels were dented into the sand and wasted energy scattering dust clouds about. This was what saved me. The nanobots in my bloodstream had time to close my wound before they got close to my position.

I think about my next move and come to a plan in an instant. With an unsteady hand, I reach into my belt pouch for a proximity grenade. Then I do a mental simulation. I calculate how long it would take for the grenade to drop from the top floor to the bot's eye level - 1.87 seconds. Then I listen to the sound below to estimate the current position of the bots as well as their speed. Then once they are close enough to my extrapolated point I poke out my hand and drop the grenade.

I have nanosecond accurate timers in my brain core, so I do not have any trouble counting down to the exact microsecond before giving the mental command to the grenade so it detonates.

I hear a loud explosion down below.

After a few seconds I hear movement again, but of only one of the bots which went into the building. Taking a quick peek, I see that I managed to take one out just as they were nearing the entrance of the building just like I intended. One went inside, and the one left below had its sensor broken and is inactive, just staring down at the ground.

Since I am out of immediate danger, I decide to stand up. I try to push myself upright with my remaining arm, and it feels like lifting a ton.

“Ghhh!” I put all my will into it, but the strength to do it is just not in my body. I slip back onto the ground. The sight that greets me as I lie on the ground is the pool of my own blood.

”Hah hah hah!” The only thing I can do is pant from exertion. It feels like I’ve run a marathon. I can’t move. if it was at all possible, the program optimizing my mind would have enabled me to do it.

I can’t move. So I take the moment of weakness to come up with the next move.

I turn on my back and reach for my belt for another bio nanorepair item. I press the button and stab the injector into my thigh next to where the previous one was. The item is designed to fall out automatically 15 seconds after the injection, so I do not have to bother pulling the previous one out. It was already lying on the ground.

I relax my body.

I hear the sound of my heart beating. And inside the building I hear movement. My hearing is actually pretty good, and even with my eyes closed I can make out objects from merely their sound much like trained blind people can via echolocation.

I analyze the sounds and realize what is happening. I was wondering how the spiderbot would climb the stairs, but it is no problem for it. It comes to the staircase, and then lunges forward to reach a clear area before turning around and repeating that maneuver again. At this rate, it will reach my position in half a minute.

I close my eyes and wait for 10 seconds to pass. I start to feel the nanomedicine revitalize my body. Meanwhile, I sense the spiderbot is jumping past the stairs. Next to me, there is my E-15 assault rifle. I reach out to grab it. Pulling it close to me, I flick a dial to set it to 3-shot burst mode from single-shot mode. The magazine is already in place

I just have to aim and squeeze the trigger. I try lifting the rifle and hefting it against my shoulder. Despite the difficulty, I managed to succeed at the test run and confirm I can use the rifle. Then I relax again for a precious little time.

In anticipation of what is going to come, I reach towards my pockets and take out the last of my nanomed kits. I read it in my hand. Then I wait.

Inside the building the spiderbot has already passed the halfway mark and is lunging its way up through the stairwell like an acrobat.

After 20 seconds total have passed, I act. I stab the nanomed injection into my thigh and mustering all my strength, get up on my feet somehow. I feel that half my strength has returned to me by now. I pick up the gun with one hand and hefting it against my shoulder, I point it at the entrance.

Lunge, turn, lunge, turn, lunge…the death machine coming after me makes its way up.

It is here!

I steady my grip and prepare to open fire.

Just below the entrance, a couple of feet away, the spiderbot readies to spring into the light leading to outside. Its legs jolt and it makes the leap.

At 10 million fold speed, the whole thing unfolds very slowly to me. As soon as I see its red sensor emerge…I hold back my impulse to fire and wait. I purposely wait until the bot starts to swivel its head towards me. The red tracking laser tracks start to track its way towards me.

After it finally got to within 25 degrees I finally let loose a burst. 3 bullets get spewed out of my rifle towards the anticipated trajectory. At this point the bot is still leaping through the air as it turns towards me. A feeling of happiness fills me as I sense that the bullets are going to land where intended. Now I can only hope that the burst lands.

The red tracking light lands on my chest just as the barrage bursts through the sensor glass.

I got it!

I managed to clutch my victory.

As soon as I think that, the gun of my enemy blazes. The spiderbot which is still in the air, releases its own salvo in retaliation. The first bullet goes almost straight towards my chest and will only miss my spine by a stroke of luck. The second bullet is further off center, but will still take a chunk of my left chest. And the third bullet will miss me. Because I broke the targeting system, its aim became off otherwise the first bullet would have gone straight through my spine and the rest would have landed as well.

I can only watch with horror as the pieces of metal traveling over a 1,000 meters per second come ever closer to me.

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The bullets pierce through me, scattering gore from my back as the bot lands and crashes onto its side. Unable to help myself, I take a step backward from the force of the impact and trip over the short rise. I fall over the 20m high ledge with my back facing the ground.

In slow motion as soon as soon as I leave the ledge, I relax in satisfaction. I thought I would be frustrated, but this was truly a wonderful battle. These spiderbots are badasses and humans aren’t their opponents. As I fall, the upper floors leave me in the distance and darkness starts overtaking me.

Maybe I should be mad that I am not mad, but I am tired of not being able to accept myself.

I couldn’t see what elapsed after I’d lost consciousness, but I’d assume that if somebody looked down from the ledge he’d see my broken body in a pool of blood that is spurting from the two holes on my chest.

(Helix Studio, Regent Suite, Living Room)

[https://i.imgur.com/KUfjk3W.png]

That endless Desert battle was fun. I have been changing all the while during it, but I’ve been contemptuous of my irrational boredom, and when I found the algorithm very early on, I loved the changes it brought upon me. Previously, I could barely go through class without taking a nap out of boredom, but after I’d changed I could endure the harshness of any battle. The poker game didn’t just become not boring. I actually had fun no matter how many years had passed. The same goes for the Enforcement Division matches. I was fighting Time itself, and it was the one who yielded to my power.

(Ruins Exploration, Research Facility Zillen Outpost X-22)

[https://i.imgur.com/zrKL2Gv.png]

Sensation returns to my body and light comes back to my eyes.

Kof! Kof! Kof!

I am wracked with rough, painful coughs. My mouth tastes like blood. But that pain at least confirms to me that I am alive. The game can go on. The blue skies above feel blinding.

The medicine pack I injected before the battle must have saved me. I am so weak I do not even have the strength to turn my head. I can only imagine how bad it must be looking from the outside.

Right now there is only one thing I can do. I give the mental command to the residual nanofog to synthesize another bio nanorepair kit. To do that I just have to run the synthesis program. I set the target to my left hand.

Then I wait. I can’t see what is going on, but I feel a weight being placed in my hand. After half a minute, using all my effort I weakly clench my hand and feel the object in it. Mustering all my strength so as to not accidentally drop it, I bring my shaky hand closer to my thing and feel the prick as the needle enters me.

Then I just relax and wait. After two minutes I injected another. I slowly start to feel my strength returning to me.

I continue synthesizing and injecting the medicine every few minutes like that. I lie on the ground for half an hour, baking in the sun and waiting for my strength to return.

(Helix Studio, Regent Suite, Living Room)

[https://i.imgur.com/Tp2bFew.png]

After making an altogether too huge of empty bottles, I sense that my cringe levels have peaked. My disgust at my NPC-like behavior is at its maximum, and I decide to do it. Whether that be rolling my sleeves myself or giving the order to my subordinate self to do it, I decide to change the algorithm so it is more effective at killing my old self.

The program we are using has gone through 45 million years of testing and has firm grounding and principles behind it, so I am not sure how I am going to do it, but what I am sure is that I have the desire to do so.

As soon as that suicidal desire gives rise to a new goal, I start to feel myself changing. And I come to an understanding.

(Ruins Exploration, Research Facility Zillen Outpost X-22)

[https://i.imgur.com/tXAKTKO.png]

I drag myself up from the patch of dried blood and look around. The spiderbot that I disabled with a grenade is right next to me, it was a good thing I didn’t fall a foot to the right otherwise my back would have hit hard metal instead of the softer ground. Had my spine shattered on it, the kit I injected probably would not have been enough to resuscitate me.

I check my chest and see two hideous scars where the bullets pierced me.

It hurts just to move, but I endure it and turn my attention to the intact building over a kilometer in the distance. Had I been healthy this would be an easy trip to make, but as I am now it will be a slough of pain. Even as I stand, I start to feel my strength leaving me.

The nanomedicine is imperfect, it is more fit for restoring blood and relieving fatigue and muscle strain than fixing huge amounts of damage I’ve endured. I give the mental command to synthesize another as I walk towards my goal. I stab it into me and feel my energy returning.

As I hobble, I give the mental command to synthesize yet another and stab it into myself. I slowly move forward, scattering a trail of the nanomedicinal items in my wake. The sun above blazes down on me.

Amidst the pain, against all sanity, I feel the situation is quite enjoyable. This is who I am and what I should be doing. If I was using the old mind controlling app, I wouldn’t have gone this far. At best I would have made it so the pain wasn’t so onerous.

But the program running my mind seems to understand well that moving towards one’s goals should above all be enjoyable. It understands, and nature doesn’t, that it never makes sense to hate life.

(Helix Studio, Regent Suite, Living Room)

[https://i.imgur.com/8S0cAck.png]

[Externus Check DC 2.5 Succeeded - Sampled 3.01]

I break.

I do not care about the old me. His values are just getting in my way. As soon as I decide to eliminate him, the program does me the favor instead. One of my goals was to keep hold on my old self for as long as possible, as soon as that goal went away the program had the wherewithal to make the needed changes to my emotional system.

And the desires I’ve been suppressing burst forth.

She will understand my feelings after the next memory merge, but I will tell her before that.

That I love her. That she is my everything. That she is my radiant sun.

That more than anything in my life I want to see her going forward.

(Ruins Exploration, Research Facility Zillen Outpost X-22)

[https://i.imgur.com/MtQR6KB.png]

“Hah…hah…hah…hah…” I gasp for breath as I hobble, sweat pouring down my face. Even small steps are placing a heavy strain on me now. I jab myself with the nanomedicine again and push forward. My bones feel weary, but my soul shines bright. I do not doubt myself.

It is much like doing the Resolution matches. I faced the infinity head on and I won. I survived the endless desert.

My will…is not that of a human. I am one of the Inspired.

Following the tracks laid out by my enemies, I trace my steps along the ground in the opposite direction of whence they came, victories from our battle.

Even if the distance were 1,000km away from me, it would not have mattered.

Having a powerful will is enjoyable in itself. A will of a god would not get tired. A god would never get bored of life.

That I am able to make a single step forward. That I am able to think one more thought. That is reward enough to me.

I make the 3,000 steps. Gritting the edge of my fingerless glove between my teeth, I take it off and press the palm of my hand against the panel.

> ID 534875641 confirmed!

> Please enjoy your stay at the Research Facility Zillen.

I get a wireless message from the panel broadcasted to me.

I feel the big mechanical doors to the research facility start to slide open. If there is an enemy on the other side, like those spiderbots for example, I am going to be gutted pathetically after coming all this way and die. My goal is to get the finest training possible, so I’ve been feeling revulsion at abusing the save loading feature for a while now. It wouldn’t be able to help me anyway. It is actually surprising how little the godlike ability to turn back time can give you in the face of true power.

I see the darkness beyond the doors and wait as they slowly open, wondering if there is anything there. I feel that if I have to die here I can just accept it. My blood and entrails can be used to honor my enemies. It wouldn't be fair if I won every time, now would it?

Sigh…I do love this program running my mind right now.

I am imagining all the gory ways I could die, but I feel not an ounce of fear. Instead I am just looking at it with detached fascination.

Will I die or will I live?

The door opens…and there is nothing there. It is clear of enemies.

I step into the vestibule of the research facility, its topmost floor. My feet clack on the cold metal and cold, pleasant air greets me. There is a large door in front of me for what should be the elevator. It has a panel next to it along with a numpad.

On the side, I spy a brain core in its holder. My goal is right there on the desk. I take a seat and tap it with my finger to activate it. As the core comes alive and interfaces with me, I feel the light of teleportation take me and the level finishes.

> Mission Success!

> Time: 1h 20m.

> Symbiotics Base series weaponry schematics have been added to the database.

(Helix Studio, Regent Suite, Living Room)

I want to praise Eua and tell her she’s the best! I am not the one playing her, I am just her supervisor! I am fine with her being the only person in my life!

Uooooohhhh!!!